• quietly optimistic

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    naughty mum [sign in to see picture]
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    Well we have to technically do this 3 times...as I also need to meet his 3 kids ( 14/9/7) ....so they can get used to the new person in their parents life...then a time to put both sets of kids together in a group outing...want to split up the meetings, so as to give them an adjustment time.
    Especially as his two youngest are 9+7 ...and he has been only split from his ex for a year( 1/2 a year sofa surfing in old house, and 1/2 year in own flat)... I am vary aware they might find it a bit of a challenge to getting used to their dad seeing someone other than their mum.
    I'm not going to push it..and I will still think we both need solo time with our own kids at points, but putting them together will make some things easier...( although I do wonder where I would put 5 kids here!๐Ÿ˜„

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    naughty mum [sign in to see picture]
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    I guess you don't live too far apart..if you know his sister.. Tbh...I think break in there girl and try and do something at the weekend. If you like each other via chatting...there is a very good chance you will have that chemistry in RL too.
    My new man works early shifts, so has to be up for 5:30 to get ready for work... Which I thought might be an issue... Turns out we spend loads of time at each others house, and so we both get to bed( for some naughtiness at night) and wake early together. .and sometimes get into some excitable foreplay before he has to finally make a move to get ready( well...it puts a happy smile on his face that's for certain๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜‰)
    We are finding ways to get around kiddie times, and work... Even if his works out early ( maybe get into it too๐Ÿ˜‰) and you have another thing in common.

    If its meant to be..you will find a way...

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    naughty mum [sign in to see picture]
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    We sat down with our diaries the other day to plan when we get to see eachothers kids..and when we put them all together.. This week its mine to meet him tomorrow at a bowling session, and next week we take his kids bowling( seems all the kids love bowling๐Ÿ˜Š).. And then in a few weeks..we are going to put them all together. This way ..each group of kids gets to know the partner in their parents life first...before springing their kids on them.
    Luckily...it seems all the kids are keen to see if this works, and meet up..so I don't think we will have too many problems.
    Tieing in our rotas for our kids with our exes schedules might be trickier, as that means 4 lots of diaries to sync!!
    I also have my scouts/ canoe club commitments to shoehorn in...and he has his hiking club commitments as well.
    Tbh...if we stopped to think it was too hard to work out..we might not have even met!! Instead..by meeting on the logistics head on...we are coming up with creative solutions.
    Remember..we are heading into summer..so the ability to get out and enjoy the outdoors is here, which is cheap ( and romantic!) And longer daylight hours means more opportunity to do more things...plus you can wear skimpy, sexy outfits without it looking odd...great for flirty fun๐Ÿ˜…

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    naughty mum [sign in to see picture]
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    Well the weekend went better than expected...even when my 14 yr old Neanderthal must have pulled a sneaky all nighter on his mobile, and fell asleep in the car...twice!.. And was a grumpy git, blaming his lack of skill in bowling on the balls!
    Despite that...my new man met my kids and it was not awkward or uncomfortable,...it was pleasant a d friendly. My youngest was on top cheeky form, having us in stitches...and the bowling g was a real hit( even with grumpy teen)
    Both both like my new man.. And he likes them too..and wasn't put off by my teens grumps.
    Tbh..he was very understanding, and it prompted a bit of a bareing my soul a bit more once they went back to my ex. I found myself revealing a bit more of the situation that I found myself in 2011 with my ex,and why I think my teen is still holding a grudge for leaving his dad..prompting him to rebel and side with my ex.
    After I managed to tell my new man what sort of abuse I went through, and saying I never thought I would be able to trust again..and I was so glad to find him, and I trust him totally...he dropped quite a statement.
    He said that he wanted to grow old with me, and that we will tackle his ex more on access issues and timings to sync more with mine, when we get even more settled,.like when he thought it time to live together!
    I could not believe I heard this.. I have never felt a relationship to be so happy and secure, and loved, and have someone commit so openly to a future together.
    I feel on top of the world ATM.. We are so committed to each other,and we are so similar in our likes and dislikes... We look to have a compatible future that is really going somewhere.
    The fact we can barely keep our hands off each other, and we are always cuddling and/ or making love is soo nice too. He is so tactile and sensuous, which I have to say is really floating my boat. Being through such an abusive past relationship, it makes my heart sing being loved in such a way.
    I meet his kids on Friday... And then put them together in the hols...

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Top marks NM. I think you have done everything right in this relationship , perhaps my thinking of wedding bells wasn't too premature after all lol.

    I think you both got together at the right time as it seems both of you were looking for stabilitiy rather than a quck fling and with kids in tow that is a good thing becasue they need that as well.

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    naughty mum [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    Top marks NM. I think you have done everything right in this relationship , perhaps my thinking of wedding bells wasn't too premature after all lol.

    I think you both got together at the right time as it seems both of you were looking for stabilitiy rather than a quck fling and with kids in tow that is a good thing becasue they need that as well.

    This is exactly my point. When you have kids...moving g into a new relationship takes on a different perspective. You can't just think " is the the guy I want to be with?"... But also" will this guy like my kids...and would they like him?" Getting our kids in on the relationship is a huge step...as the last thing we want is to be making rash decisions, and going in and out of relationships, and confusing the kids. Equally, we both wanted to ensure our kids were OK with their parent dating again.. Or a different tack might be needed for a while. This man has gone in totally with commitment, and I feel somewhat shy that littl!' Ol' me, with still lumps and bumps, and still a bit of a low self image, is wanting to go all in with me. I feel so happy today๐Ÿ˜Š
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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    so happy for you and love seeing your updates! Have a wonderful week NM,

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    naughty mum [sign in to see picture]
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    We saw my youngest today..and he is more than happy for me to be seeing my new man. He is really excited about this, and he has dropped big sly comments that we are very into each other!๐Ÿ˜„ i love the way kids see things.
    A d I even had my ex thanking me for taking him on a scout hike instead of him...and to cap it all... My old fb has again tried to get in touch and get me hooked again..!
    Why is it I get nothing for 3 years...then two come along at the same time?.
    This is worse than buses... But sex busses!

    I thought I got the message through to him the last time. He knows I'm going steady now.. And yet he still pops up. Can this OK 43 yr old divorced mum of two really be that sexy again that even when it is clear I have moved on..my fb can't get me out of his head.? He was definitely the dark horse( hung like a horse too!) Type..so he surely had others when I was seeing/ sexting him.. And surely he would have had the charm to move on to another naughtymum.. What is so special and sexy about me these days?!
    For someone who hasn't felt sexy / loved or wanted for a good 15 years with my ex.. I find all this sexual attention quite amazing! Have I pressed a " you are a sex goddess to one and all" button? My new man is actively and consistently telling me he loves me.. And we are in eachotbers arms all the time we are together.. He makes wonderful sensuous love to me and backs everything with sincerity, and real action that no one who is in for a quick fling would do not do when they have kids involved.
    He makes all the right big steps to make me feel safe ,secure,loved, and wanted again.
    Maybe that is where I am ATM... I am now so happy and confident about life again... I am glowing sexiness and it is highly attractive to others again.

    Lesson to learn...love yourself and all your bumps and bulges, and history..and live your life to the full, and then your confidence will find you ultimate happiness with someone, as they see the inner happy you on the inside and outside. I found someone when I was ready to let go of all the hurt and anger and dispair that my ex caused me... And I move to steam ahead to forge a new life.
    I finally think I will have a future with my new man.. A d flattering my fb not being able to find anyone to fill my sexy shoes..and have him pining to have me back... I am not bitng. My future is looking far more secure with my new man every day... I CAN say no to things( or someone) ... And say YES to a man who is obviously prepared to make a real serious go of it.
    Even talking about the future and moving in later on down the line.. How wonderful is that for a divorce to hear when she is ready to let another in?๐Ÿ˜Š

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I think you have done the right thing in choosing your new guy over your fb .Your obviously far happier even though sex may be more sensual ( nothing wrong with that) than say physical with your fb.

    I also think you know the guy is also right for you. I bet you get those butterflies every time you meet up. That is a tell tale sign that you have met your intended partner IMO. I still get them often and I have been married 19 years.

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    naughty mum [sign in to see picture]
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    I got a " oo he's nice!" From my mum when I showed a pic of him yesterday. She gave me a speach about not going too fast( I'm 43... I'm not a spring chicken anymore..so IMO I don't I have the luxury to take things too slow.)
    I do feel that this is more than right for me...I think of him every day..I can't sleep when he isn't here.. I am always yearning to be back in his arms again.
    He says he loves me and I feel he totally believes it...and I find myself loving him back.
    I see a future with him..and up till easter I felt my future was going to be chugging through life as single, with the occasional fling with a very enthusiastic fb!

    The fact my youngest is also so happy for me, and is looking forward to have a possible couple of younger kids to play with! I really feel that my life is more than on track....it is moving forward to a positive future again.

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    NM, your mum is just cautious becasue she is protective of her baby, even when your 43! I have been following your thread since I was pretty new to the forumns and rooting for you. It seems to me you are in a excellent head space following a pretty nasty marriage and there has been time from the divorce for you heal and be in a good place to start fresh.

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Vanessa8 wrote:

    NM, your mum is just cautious becasue she is protective of her baby, even when your 43! I have been following your thread since I was pretty new to the forumns and rooting for you. It seems to me you are in a excellent head space following a pretty nasty marriage and there has been time from the divorce for you heal and be in a good place to start fresh.

    +1 I agree your mum just doesn't want to see you hurt . As long as he feels the same about you then I can't see any problem. If you both know you are right for each other then nothing needs to get in the way .

    Perhaps you need assure your mum that your not 23 anymore and you feel that now you have finally found the right person to make you happy.

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    naughty mum [sign in to see picture]
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    Well she did only just pop in for a coffee with my dad on their way up to my sisters.. So we were not able to chat for long. She didn't like my ex at all..( neither did my new man's mum..she hated his ex!๐Ÿ˜„) but she at least likes the look of him so far.. And she says she thinks we look very happy together..
    My parents really did go through a bad time with my split from my ex, as they were really quite protective of me at that time..a lot of nasty stuff came out over it.. And it took a lot from my parents life as well. They dont want me making a bad choice... I understand that... But I am 43! And if they think I am going to be prudish and restrained ...I'm not.
    We are both mature adults, who have been burnt before..with our own collection of kids, but with a zest for outdoor life. He has mentioned he would probably not want to remarry, and tbh..I can see his point in that...but he has already said he can see us living together.. I love the fact that I have someone that is into me so much to make statements like that.

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    naughty mum [sign in to see picture]
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    Meeting his kids on Friday...bowling day x2๐Ÿ˜Š so should be good fun. It sounds like they are all very keen to meet me.. So I think this will be a great evening.
    I know his youngest two are 9+7 so I am going to be quite careful not to give any " I'm replacing your mum" vibes..as they already live with her ATM.
    Its a tricky deal to work on with young kids who will not have the maturity yet to process a parent seeing someone other than their original partner. Going to work gently in this area to let them adjust in their own time.
    I think it will be good for my kids to have others around in the future.will encourage them to be more interactive.. Certainly my 14 yr old could do with that big time..will extract him from his PC a bit more..I hope!

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    GlamRockChick [sign in to see picture]
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    NM, I've been out of the loop for a bit so only just caught up with this. I'm almost crying it's such a fabulous thread to read. So so happy for you all! I'm so glad you've found someone who treats you as well as you deserve xx

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    naughty mum [sign in to see picture]
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    GlamRockChick wrote:

    NM, I've been out of the loop for a bit so only just caught up with this. I'm almost crying it's such a fabulous thread to read. So so happy for you all! I'm so glad you've found someone who treats you as well as you deserve xx

    Thank you for that.๐Ÿ˜Š I have been amazed at my luck in this too...its nice to have good news to share. And it gets better and better...my youngest is getting so excited.. He is having my new man moving in with the 3 kids!! I had to remind him that not only is that a bit soon, his kids live mostly with their mum! I love his enthusiasm.. If a bit preemptive!
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    BigBikeGuy [sign in to see picture]
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    So pleased that it's working out for you NM. Love the updates, keep them coming #everyonelovesagoodlovestory

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    Binxx [sign in to see picture]
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    Late to the update party as life got nuts recently. NaughtyMum my heart is all a flutter for you!! How wonderful!! You have such a lovely thing going for you! You deserve to be blissfully happy and so glad you are embracing this new direction! Good for you Hun!!! *dances and cheers*

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    naughty mum [sign in to see picture]
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    Well meeting his kids was fab! His two youngest were really excited and quite cheeky.I loved their enthusiasm. Very playful...and I understand were very keen to meet me. His eldest was more reserved, but I can see she loves being a little mum to her younger siblings, and is always helping them.
    It was a great way to get to know them a bit, and introduce myself to them gently. I don't think we will have any issues with them regarding us getting together.
    Having to meet extended families can be fraught with pitfalls, but I think it will be quite an easy transaction now.
    We are all going out en mass on Friday to cattle country to enable all the kids to get to know each other and play and have a nice day out.. I am really looking forward to it, as is my new man.we are both really glad that our respective kids are looking on with this as something so positive.
    I had to go away this weekend, on a backwoods camp for scouts, so I have had a weekend away from my man...he came over just as I got in last night, smelling like a bbq!๐Ÿ˜„ after a good shower, and feeling ladylike again...we couldn't contain ourselves.
    We had a meal, and then made love on the sofa..passionate, intimate, loving and sensual. I just can't seem to get enough of being with him.if anything, our love for each other seems to be building week on week, and if we are apart we miss each other even more. I feel like the luckiest person ATM..๐Ÿ˜Š

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    BigBikeGuy [sign in to see picture]
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    wish there was a 'like' button on here

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