• Do you wish for the unexpected ?

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I have decided to update this thread for another event that was totally unexpected. My OH can now read me like a book and does this to her advantage,

    I was planning a surprise for her by taking her out to lunch on a Wednesday.Wednesday is normally a day off as she tends to work 4 days a week and it just happened I had a half day left over and booked a Wedensday afternoon off .

    However a turn of events so it seemed, and she told me on Tuesday night that she had to go in work that Wednesday as a new order had just come in . I of course sulked all night and didn't she know it !

    I arrived home just after 12.30 on that wednesday to find that the house alarm was off and a note pinned to it saying " I am waiting in the Headmaster's office" ( bedroom) .

    On arrival to the Headmasters office , she was there in full student uniform bent over the desk ( workmate) . "What are you waiting for " she said. I of course obliged and gave her a sound spanking and probably the best ever love making from behind for a long long time.

    Very much the unexpected although in our normal roles ie me top and her bottom .

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    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    Wow! Sounds like your wife is really getting into this . It's nice when you know someone has gone to the trouble of planning a surprise and it makes a real change to reverse roles occasionally.

    Thought your previous cop senario sounded very exciting

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks  Wildflower, yes I do like nice surprises and this was really unexpected . I thought I was in for a boring afternoon watching daytime TV .

    Whilst role playing for us is a relatively new experience , her collection of costumes is getting in such a way that a surprise willl happen more often ( I hope) .

    Another thing thats often difficult in new relationships , is that we have been together so long our chemistry between us is geared up in such a way that we can normally read each other like a book and correct things quickly if either of us suspect something is not quite right.

    She served me a G & T last night dressed as an Air Stewardess . So I guess the mile high club is on the agenda soon ;)

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    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
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    A gay couple I'm very good friends with had a similar problem with suggesting situations, role play scenarios. They solved it with a simple wooden box, into which they write what they might like on small pieces of paper. Then whenever one of them is in the mood they pick a piece of paper out of the box at random, so neither one knows what is written on the paper until it is unfolded.

    it works for them, and avoides that awkward "I would really like you to do this" conversation.

    Maybe find your own way of writing your role play wish list for her to see.

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for your ideas Fun Louise.

    Its not so much that we havn't got ideas as we already have plenty. Its trying to occassionally "bankroll" my Mrs to play a more dominant role . The Policewoman situation worked quite well and for once I had a sore bum for a few days. Its a couple more like that what we need .

    In the past and this might seem a little harsh to some of you but I have to say my Mrs is really a lazy lover. Sometimes I have felt after a session in the bedroom that I have run a Marathon whilst she has hardly broken sweat at a light jog. She prefers to lie back and think of England. Don't get me wrong in almost in every aspect our relationship is fantastic and after nearly 20 years of marraige to wake up from a good nights sleep in your partners arms is testament to that .We are still very much in love with each other .

    So really the crux of the thing is to get her to do a little more work in the bedroom .

    The roleplay thing is something relativlely new to us .For us its a means of putting the fun back into the bedroom and we always have laughs when lines are fluffed or when things don't quite go as expected. For example the handcuffs for a while ended up jamming whilst I was still cuffed in them ! My wife found it hilarious that we might have to get a hiunky Fireman to free me. Luckily for me I managed to work them open and they appear to be working fine now.

    So onwards and upwards ......................

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    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    I didn't want to start my own thread on this topic so I hope you don't mind me dragging this one up again.

    Arrgghh I'm frustrated with my sex life at the moment. Everything we do together is physically very satisfying, but in general it's all so one sided. It seems every other weekend I've given my partner a sexy surprise, whether it's new underwear, new toys, new positions or BDSM ideas etc. He loves it all, and I can see how happy it makes him to be surprised and feel like I'm treating him... but when will it be my turn?! :(

    He's extremely sensitive about this stuff, so I don't feel that there's any way for me to talk to him about it without making him feel like he's not good enough. He's perfect when it comes to foreplay and sex, I definitely can't fault his technique or his willingness, it's just that he makes no effort with everything else.

    It's even got to the point now where I'll be laying on the bed naked (or in new undies), he walks in, and instead of climbing on top of me he lies down next to me and expects me to get on top and give him foreplay first. Every single time! And yesterday he even said to me "I'm dropping my sister off at her friends house on Friday, I'll be gone for about half an hour, I thought you could set up something sexy for us while I'm gone"... which of course I'm happy to do, but AGAIN, it's all down to me. He gets to be the one who walks in the door to a lovely surprise, and yes it makes me happy to see him happy, but it's getting to the point where I'm feeling resentful and jealous that he gets to have most of the fun.

    I even go out of my way to please him in other ways, like giving him impromtu blow jobs etc. He never returns the favour afterwards, which is fine because that's not why I do it, but if he ever does the same to me (which is extremely rare) he always seems to expect me to do him afterwards or have sex. It just doesn't feel fair. 

    Arggh I probably sound really nasty. I love and cherish my OH to pieces, but I'm starting to feel like he's being too selfish, or maybe it's my fault and I'm giving him too much. Idk. I can't force him to surprise me, and if I did then it wouldn't be surprise, but I'm feeling really frustrated and let down with this situation lately. :(

    Sorry guys for the ramble!

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I feel for you Boo. TBH I am now coming to the conclusion that there will always be a leader in the relationship in this case its you and in my case its me . I think its something that us both and others on here have to accept . Life is never perfect as my mother always says .

    I am just lucky that we went down the roleplaying side of things as the nature of the costume can dictate who takes the lead. I know this on the face of it this may not lead to unexpected events however as we don't script things and improvisation is the key so unexpected events do take place.

    For example going back to the situation with the Policewoman play we did. I knew at some stage she would come downstairs wearing it and I had my game plan of being a bit of a brat ,so that was expected . However planting that talcolm powder on me wasn't . I was gob smacked and my game plan went totally out of the window . What was more unexpected is the very stern and forceful dialogue she used and I have never seen her like this and before I knew it I was bent over a desk tied and naked and she was paddling my arse and generally abusing me.

    So going back to your situation I don't know honestly know what the solution is as you already stated that you arn't keen on roleplaying . Also you are the LH accouint holder for you both, so he can't exactly go out and buy new toys and accessories without you knowing and so he can't surprise you that way either .

    And probably like me you wouldn't want your OH to open an LH account just in case they start probing around the forum . For me that is a no no !

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    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks mysteron :)

    Yeah I see your point about role playing being beneficial, but it's just not something that either of us are into. I also agree that I would feel nervous about my OH setting up an account in case he reads all my forum posts (especially this one!) and to be honest I don't really expect him to go out and buy sex toys etc, I'm happy to do that (although I wish he'd give me more input instead of making me choose everything alone). In terms of being surprised it's little things like him offering me a massage out the blue, or running us a bath without me having to ask him first. Or even him going down on me for once without expecting me to go down on him after!

    Just little things I'm craving, and not even all the time, even just once in a blue moon would make me happy. Years ago he used to surprise me but never any more, now I feel like he takes me for granted and has got lazy, for whatever reason :(

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    steevo68 [sign in to see picture]
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    Boogaloo wrote:

    Thanks mysteron :)

    Yeah I see your point about role playing being beneficial, but it's just not something that either of us are into. I also agree that I would feel nervous about my OH setting up an account in case he reads all my forum posts (especially this one!) and to be honest I don't really expect him to go out and buy sex toys etc, I'm happy to do that (although I wish he'd give me more input instead of making me choose everything alone). In terms of being surprised it's little things like him offering me a massage out the blue, or running us a bath without me having to ask him first. Or even him going down on me for once without expecting me to go down on him after!

    Just little things I'm craving, and not even all the time, even just once in a blue moon would make me happy. Years ago he used to surprise me but never any more, now I feel like he takes me for granted and has got lazy, for whatever reason :(

    Its very easy to get into the habbit of making no effort and forgetting all the things we used to do. Can you maybe go out for an hour or two and make him do the surprise on your return. Maybe a few txt hints from yourself . Hope you get sorted

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    As an idea and I know I have recommended this game to others including Chris on your thread.

    Why no treat yourself to the game Manogomy . Whilst not had chance to play it fully, it has loads of unexpected things he could do to you and you to him as long as he is prepared to follow the orders on the card. As you are in a long lasting relationship with your OH there is nothing I can see that will embarrass you both . For new couples i would say look through the cards first and remove any that didn't deem fit.

    Most of the stuff you already have to prepare for the game ie restraints and a spanking implement . The only other things you would need are nibbles and drinks ( alcoholic work best) . On the drinks issue just use your own judgement here as I like to be in fully control of my senses when restrarnts and impact play is involved but thats just a personal thing.Costumes would be an advantage but not ncessary as there are some role plays but they are unscripted and you just follow what the card says. Honestly you will have great fun and will give you something to review as well .

    The game is top quality and is worth every penny.

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    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah that's a good idea mysteron, although I would kind of feel like I was making all the effort by surprising him with something new yet again, and the problem is that he never thinks to do anything like that himself. I would like to play around with some of the sex games regardless though, so it's something I will consider, but maybe not right now as I feel like I'm doing too much and in a way perhaps I need to step back and hope that he will use his initiative once he realises I'm no longer doing everything for him.

    Steevo, oooh I wish I could, but I don't have a driving licence right now and I'm not very well, so getting out and about is hard for me. I'd most likely come home to find him asleep or playing playstation anyway, not setting up a sexy surprise

    I realise I'm painting a terrible picture of my OH, I feel so bad because he's a genuinely lovely and caring person. He shows me lots of affection in day to day life, like hugging and kissing me and telling me I'm beautiful, it's just in the bedroom we're having problems!

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Boogaloo wrote:

    Yeah that's a good idea mysteron, although I would kind of feel like I was making all the effort by surprising him with something new yet again, and the problem is that he never thinks to do anything like that himself. I would like to play around with some of the sex games regardless though, so it's something I will consider, but maybe not right now as I feel like I'm doing too much and in a way perhaps I need to step back and hope that he will use his initiative once he realises I'm no longer doing everything for him.

    Steevo, oooh I wish I could, but I don't have a driving licence right now and I'm not very well, so getting out and about is hard for me. I'd most likely come home to find him asleep or playing playstation anyway, not setting up a sexy surprise

    I realise I'm painting a terrible picture of my OH, I feel so bad because he's a genuinely lovely and caring person. He shows me lots of affection in day to day life, like hugging and kissing me and telling me I'm beautiful, it's just in the bedroom we're having problems!

    I don't think they are problems as such. I think its something most couples including us have to put up with . At end of he day we all have different sex drives and expectations . Reading some of the problems other couples have I think we are lucky in many respects .

    I know you are against the principle of buying Manogomy and I fully understand your reasons. I just feel for the sake of a one off investment it could be the answer to your situation. It really is that good. Do yourself a favour and just read all the dozens of reviews about the game on here .

    It really is that good . We are hoping to play the game fully soon, as we have just invested in 2 luxury long "haired" type rugs for the bed room ideal for sitting on without clothes . I will probably suggest playing it after the football season has finished and once I have fitted the brass bolt lock to our bedroom door. I will also suggest the numbers of items of clothing that we wear at the start of a game to make it fair .

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    steevo68 [sign in to see picture]
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    Boogaloo wrote:

    Yeah that's a good idea mysteron, although I would kind of feel like I was making all the effort by surprising him with something new yet again, and the problem is that he never thinks to do anything like that himself. I would like to play around with some of the sex games regardless though, so it's something I will consider, but maybe not right now as I feel like I'm doing too much and in a way perhaps I need to step back and hope that he will use his initiative once he realises I'm no longer doing everything for him.

    Steevo, oooh I wish I could, but I don't have a driving licence right now and I'm not very well, so getting out and about is hard for me. I'd most likely come home to find him asleep or playing playstation anyway, not setting up a sexy surprise

    I realise I'm painting a terrible picture of my OH, I feel so bad because he's a genuinely lovely and caring person. He shows me lots of affection in day to day life, like hugging and kissing me and telling me I'm beautiful, it's just in the bedroom we're having problems!

    Big Hugs... Get well soon

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Another thing you could try . It sometimes works but sometimes back fires. You could try and be naughty to him. I mean really naughty here ie minx like . For example remove the fuse from his Playstation game or annoy him in other ways. You will know what annoys him and you never know he may grab you by surprise place you over his knee or something like that or force himself on top of you in annoyance and make love to you in a more forceful nature . It might work but it does have its risks.

    My Mrs did it with me once by dropping the crockery whilst washing up on purpose whcih really annoyed me but I was very nervous upto this point about spanking her, which is something she had always craved for . Without the graphic details she ended up with a glowing red bottom of which she wanted all along. I still had to replace the crockery though!

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Black_Magic wrote:

    Interesting thread. We have an array of toys but we hardly use them.

    There are a couple of role play scenarios that we want to act out, but I have to find the items of clothing, unfortunately, this site does not seem to sell them.

    The only 'issue' we have is that we hardly use the toys. Mainly because we cannot be bothered to go upstairs to get them ;) or get out of the bed to get them! We do not have any complaints about our sex life, it is still amazing after all these years, maybe it is because we still find eachother intensesly attractive. OH says and I rightly agree, that if we used them all the time, our sex life will get boring and predictable or at least once a week. I would say once every couple of months we would use them! Some may say it is a waste of money!! :O

    However, it is our anniversary soon and I had better get my arse into gear! LOL

    We have the sexcheques that someone else here mentioned. The toy we play with most often is the sex die.

    I can see where you are coming from. Using toys can be a bit of hasle . It needs a bit of pre planning as they would need to be cleaned about an hour before use even though they would have been cleaned after they were last used.

    Many of the toys especially restraints can be used easily in role plays for example I will be trussing my Mrs upto to bedroom door using the door jam restraint kits bought from LH. That will be a jungle kidnap style roleplay. The normal sex toys like bullets, vibrators can be used as part of a nurses gear whilst the guy is restrained to the bed. A but plug for example can be shoved up a bum in the very same style a thermometer is often used in a hospital for taking the temperature . As before you are only lmited by your imagination .

    For us roleplaying brings a laugh into our sex lives which can't be bad can it ?

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    sassykitten;) [sign in to see picture]
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    Wish I could plan great sex n surprise for my bf but we live with our parents so get no time alone. . Cant exactly rock up in a nurses suit or something l.. hopefully 1 day have a break or live 2gether.we just take opportunity 4 sex n try not 2 make much noise :(

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    I asked a partner to write out his fantasy list for me and although I have not tackled everything on there it gave me a way to address his desires and also help jump start me mixing it up. Have you thought about exchanging a "desires" list like this?

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Well I got a nice welcomed and unexpected upper body massage last night.My back was getting rather notted in places. I didn't sleep too well the night before and coupled with a difficult day at work I was totally exhausted . I was fast asleep by about 9 0'clock last night and feel nice and relaxed this morning .I still smell of lavender though :)

    I will probably repay her tonight with the same.

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Boo- I have had chance to think about your situation with your OH .From what you have posted in the past.

    I thnk he is a fun loving ,very supportive guy , who thinks the world of you, worships you and is prepared to do anything to make sure you happy and contented .

    There in lies your problem IMO. By nature he comes accross as the submissive type who is happy to go along with anything to keep you happy . What you want him to do ie take the lead isn't really in his make up .I might be wrong but both of you are really of submissive nature and you are having to take the lead in a relationship even though you prefer the submissive role yourself. Ie what I am trying to say is that neither of you really want to be the dominant in your relationship, hence the reason why you are left to do all the planning and initiate things.

    You could try what Vanessa has suggested which isn't too diferent from randomly picking one of the fantasy cards out of Manogomy.

    I do really think that is your best way of dealing with this small problem of yours. But whatever you do don't place a strain on your relationship for something trivial like this as he a good one( there arn't that many around) and you need to keep him .

    Good luck and take care

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Well in keeping with the theme and role playing of course I thought I would share this experience with you all just in case you may want to try it yourselves.

    Watching the usual boring TV on Sunday night , I go interrupted with a very attactive girl in a flight Sterardess uniform offering my free in flight G & T . She then stated massageing me down below and loosened my trousers in an attempt to get me more relaxed!. She then mounted me , the skirt part of the unform didn't need hitching up as it was small enough anyway. We then made love on the armchair seat in such a confined space ie no lying down allowed which represents the confines of an aircraft. If you try this a good tip is to make sure your partner removes her heels to prevent injury to either yourself or her.

    Have fun .

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