• It's been a while....

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    RacheyD [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 24
    • Joined: 29 Oct 2013

    Hi guys not posted in a while, due to lack of sex and partner

    BUT things may be on the up, I've recently started talking to someone and seems to be moving in the direction that it could lead into something sexual and possibly a relationship, only downside it's long distance but I'm willing to give it a shot!

    however this is a totally new experience to me, as he has already been very honest and told me he is a Dom, I've been honest and told I'm somewhat in experienced and wanting to explore other aspects of sex, I've always been somewhat submisive in the bedroom. I just wondered if anyone has any advice they would be willing to offer me on this dynamic, as I'm not that well educated and feel a lot of stuff on the net may not be realistic

    ao if anyone is willing to share please do :)

    thanks guys

    1427501293
    sassykitten;) [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1549
    • Joined: 28 May 2014

    Nothing really to say other than talk n have a simple safe word if anything gets too much... as for long distance, it can work .. best of luck x

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    RacheyD [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
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    • Joined: 29 Oct 2013

    Thank you :)

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    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6361
    • Joined: 18 Dec 2007

    Hi there, I agree with sassy, make sure you communicate about everything and ask him anything you are not sure about. Just take things slowly and at your own pace. I hope things work out well Hun :) xx

    1427505874
    RacheyD [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
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    • Joined: 29 Oct 2013

    Your too right, been talking all evening! And honesty is key! :). It's all fairly exciting hehe

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    SR36 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 29 Jul 2014

    Hi, I've been in exactly the same situation as you! I agree with the others that communication is incredibly important- you need to discuss boundaries and expectations etc etc.

    I also found that educating myself was so important- and the long distance nature of the situation actually helped by giving me time to explore and learn on my own. I think this is key, as whilst he would never push me to do anything, it does take the pressure off when you can look at these things at your own pace.

    I bought a couple of books on kink and bdsm, and found that a lot of myths were dispelled, and my understanding of the whole dynamic is so totally different to my first thoughts when he brought it up (which I have to admit were more like fear and worry as opposed to excitement). It's all good now though! It's amazing what a bit of education can do... ;)

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    RacheyD [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 24
    • Joined: 29 Oct 2013

    Thanks SR, on the books anything you recommend ?

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    SR36 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 577
    • Joined: 29 Jul 2014

    I got this for some erotic reading - which I found pretty educational too (just for ideas and stuff):

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=25278

    This is a brilliant one for anal sex but also has a chapter on bdsm and anal play:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=1554

    And the same author contributed to "The Ultimate guide to kink" which was also pretty good, but I can't see it on LH.

    I also found reading the BDSM themed threads on here very useful.

    Hope that helps!

    1427544806
    kinkycouple71 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 3
    • Joined: 16 Aug 2009

    We have lived the lifestyle for a number of years and this can only be done in a loving and trusting partnership. Take things a step at a time and please do not confuse 50 shades with a dom/ bdsm. Saftey is paramount in everything you want to do, not forced, a true dom will know this line.

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    twincats [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 517
    • Joined: 22 Feb 2015

    When things are right for you both to enter into a sexual relationship, l found that having a safe word so if you/ partner would say to stop that particular activity.
    Respect is the game. Not everyone likes everything.
    Take care x

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    Never know [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1697
    • Joined: 29 Nov 2014

    Hello, welcome.

    Enjoy

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    RacheyD [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 24
    • Joined: 29 Oct 2013

    :). Thanks and I will!

    still in the just talking phase, but my goodness he's so nice! Easy to talk to, making been honest and asking questions easy! :)

    1429182684
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 5938
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    I can recommend at least one book as I have read it and found it very useful .

    Its avaiable from Love Honey abd it called "As kinky as you Want to Be" by Shannon Germain.

    I think there are other books available that may help specialising on the submissive role.

    Whilst I am certainly not a BDSM expert as some of the others are better qualified , I would take things slowly at your pace not his. Talk to him about boundaries and agree on safe words etc.

    But most important make sure that you are having fun and also your partner,. Don't treat it as something you have to do to please him as that will be playing with fire.

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    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2479
    • Joined: 12 Sep 2010

    We indulge in sub and dom either way. Just go with his flow . In many ways you have the easier roll. Just sit back and enjoy.

    Safe word is the key. No matter whats happening if you feel uncomfortable this will just stop it.

    Enjoy

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