• Major Help needed!!

    1426899663
    fantasia fairy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1140
    • Joined: 20 Oct 2014

    So my now ex OH brought a 'present' to cheer me up tonight...a huge freaking dildo and regardless of me saying no he continued to use the toy on me... no lube nothing...ive never had a toy that big ever and it hurt quite abit even more so when he got about 4 inches in..

    I told him to get out im beyound hurt by his actions but i'm bleeding. What on earth do i do? This is to embarssing to go see a doctor. Did anyone else bleed when they first used the large girth toys?

    I'm sore now...but im not in agony..but im freaking out i cannot believe he would do this to me after i told him last time to go slow with DP and large toys...

    Has he actually severly hurt me? like has he hit my cervix or ripped my walls? or has he broke my hymen more? (if thats even possible) the biggest ive had before is 6 inches...this toy was bigger that his wrist so at least 10 inches...

    I'm sorry for the TMI and please report this if it is too much and get it removed. But im just lost. The only time i bled after sex was when i lost my virginity. Bang goes me wanting to progress to large toys. I cant even handle the thought of a bullet right now!

    1426900700
    kinkyman [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 705
    • Joined: 9 Feb 2015

    My advice would be to choose your partners better , any man who doesn't listen to his woman when she's saying no , isn't worth staying with ...hope you're feeeling better soon x

    1426900828
    fantasia fairy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1140
    • Joined: 20 Oct 2014

    kinkyman wrote:

    My advice would be to choose your partners better , any man who doesn't listen to his woman when she's saying no , isn't worth staying with ...hope you're feeeling better soon x

    Kinkyman i actually totally agree! Not the first time this has happened to me. i need to lose rights to deciding on my choice of a boyfriend...because i am TERRIBLE at it! lol

    He totally suited me in terms of sex and i wanted to do everything he wanted...but in my own time not in his... if that makes sense?

    1426900910
    Classy-L [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 472
    • Joined: 10 Feb 2015

    Sorry cannot advise ... Think I would be same as you ... Hope it's died down ... May be a little tear ... Sounds as if it's going to be sore for few days ... Hope it heels for you soon xxx

    1426900938
    kinkyman [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 705
    • Joined: 9 Feb 2015

    MissBrownEyes92 wrote:

    kinkyman wrote:

    My advice would be to choose your partners better , any man who doesn't listen to his woman when she's saying no , isn't worth staying with ...hope you're feeeling better soon x

    Kinkyman i actually totally agree! Not the first time this has happened to me. i need to lose rights to deciding on my choice of a boyfriend...because i am TERRIBLE at it! lol

    He totally suited me in terms of sex and i wanted to do everything he wanted...but in my own time not in his... if that makes sense?

    Makes total sense , just take care next time ...whoever you end up with should respect you for who you are !

    1426900958
    Classy-L [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 472
    • Joined: 10 Feb 2015

    kinkyman wrote:

    My advice would be to choose your partners better , any man who doesn't listen to his woman when she's saying no , isn't worth staying with ...hope you're feeeling better soon x

    +1 totally

    1426901059
    delilahxx [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6942
    • Joined: 12 Mar 2013

    kinkyman wrote:

    My advice would be to choose your partners better , any man who doesn't listen to his woman when she's saying no , isn't worth staying with ...hope you're feeeling better soon x

    I agree with this, and if it was me I would walk out and never see him again.

    Hope you're feeling better soon, take care of yourself xx

    1426901211
    BrumGuy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 495
    • Joined: 16 Jun 2011

    Wow, not good. If you need medical attention then go get it.

    He was out of order there and what he done was against your wishes, and when you repeatedly said no then that became an assault.

    I feel so sorry for you, It's not just the physical abuse and damage that he's done but may have damaged you mentaly.

    Have you got someone close that can support you?

    You need to get this checked as soon as possible.

    Big HUG xx

    1426901562
    JM88 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1174
    • Joined: 12 Nov 2014

    In terms of the bleeding, sit on the toilet and have a good look, use a mirror if necessary.

    I have on one occasion caused a small tear that was visible to me at the entrance of the vagina. There were spots of blood on loo roll and it stung whenever it made contact with anything but after a few days it was ok. That was just from vigorous sex from angles i wasnt used to.

    If you are having lots of blood and it seems to be coming from inside then you should see a doctor, and avoid sex, tampons and toys. The reason being that if you have damaged the cervix then youre at a higher risk of getting an infection into the open wound. Sex would be an absolute no for now.

    I think you know you need to ditch this guy pronto. Its not the first time hes hurt you sexually and it wont be the last.

    Dont worry about what doctors may think. They really have seen it all!

    Good luck, and take care of yourself x

    1426902664
    fantasia fairy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1140
    • Joined: 20 Oct 2014

    I kicked him out i told him that i dont want to see him again. I had a look and i couldnt see anything i looked normal from the outside. Im gonna keep an eye on it for a few days and if im still bleeding i'll see a doctor.

    It wasnt bleeding that much but enough for me to notice i dont know if im bleeding still, i put a towel on and will look later im too scared right now...

    Brum guy i dont really have anyone close i can talk too but you know what? Just talking here and spilling it all on here has helped alot. I think i just needed to get it off my chest. Technically it was not rape or assult because he himself didnt penetrate me, it was just the toy.... urgh

    haha telling the doctor... 'So my boyfriend stuck a huge dildo in me and now im bleeding and sore...' oh boy haha.... Ive never had to have an internal exam so this would be terrible for me lol!

    Maybe if i buy a speculum and have a look myself? As long as my cervix is still in one piece lol!!

    Thank you though for all of your comments.. I think i just needed to know i was not being silly...like i am all for bondage but this for me was too far.

    I needa win the lottery so i can send you guys everything on your wishlists lol!

    1426903287
    JM88 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1174
    • Joined: 12 Nov 2014

    Hi, technically it is sexual assault as he penetrated you with an object against you will. Only you can decide if you wish to take it further in regards to reporting it as an assault. Even if you agreed to it, the second you said to stop and he didnt then he was committing the offence.

    As for a speculum, dont waste your money is my advice. In order to check your cervix it would be almost impossible. You wouldnt be able to see yourself, and you would need a light to see anything. Plus you would need to know what you are looking for. If you attempted it yourself you could end up hurting yourself more.

    Do you have a gum clinic nearby? You could book an appointment there as an urgent matter? They are used to seeing genitals all day long so its nothing new to them! They would be able to look inside to see how you are, and if necessary advice pain relief or treatment and give you an idea of how long to avoid penetration for. If its too embarassing you could book in for an sti routine check up and while youre there mention the bleeding and pain that happened and ask if they can check everythings ok?

    1426903358
    LibraLover [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 713
    • Joined: 16 Jul 2014

    MissBrownEyes, what he did was assault. I'm glad you've kicked him out, but please realise that you can tell him or others that it was assault (because it was, it doesn't matter what he used) so he realises the seriousness. It sounds like he could think it's ok, and that you just weren't up for it, but it's disrespectful and illegal.
    I would seriously suggest going to your doctor. Even if it's nothing to worry about, if this guy does anything more to you having this incident on record might be useful. Talking to them and telling them exactly what happened is just one more person you can vent to as well!
    I hope you feel better soon

    1426903749
    Binxx [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 237
    • Joined: 7 Dec 2013

    MissBrownEyes92 wrote:

    So my now ex OH brought a 'present' to cheer me up tonight...a huge freaking dildo and regardless of me saying no he continued to use the toy on me... no lube nothing...ive never had a toy that big ever and it hurt quite abit even more so when he got about 4 inches in..

    I told him to get out im beyound hurt by his actions but i'm bleeding. What on earth do i do? This is to embarssing to go see a doctor. Did anyone else bleed when they first used the large girth toys?

    I'm sore now...but im not in agony..but im freaking out i cannot believe he would do this to me after i told him last time to go slow with DP and large toys...

    Has he actually severly hurt me? like has he hit my cervix or ripped my walls? or has he broke my hymen more? (if thats even possible) the biggest ive had before is 6 inches...this toy was bigger that his wrist so at least 10 inches...

    I'm sorry for the TMI and please report this if it is too much and get it removed. But im just lost. The only time i bled after sex was when i lost my virginity. Bang goes me wanting to progress to large toys. I cant even handle the thought of a bullet right now!

    Hi Hunny, I'm so sorry that this has been something you experienced. I suggest the same as some of the other comments, a man who cannot understand no has no part in your life. You deserve better and respect yourself enough to demand it. Only do things when you are ready.

    In terms of the bleeding I myself experienced a sexual encounter where my partner was perhaps too vigorous and he informed me he thought he had cut me and he stopped immediately. I didn't feel a thing so it didn't hurt me but there was a significant amount of bleeding and I was rather worried about it. This happened late evening and by the next day it had subsided and I was in a bit of pain but I recovered ok. I gave it a week or so before doing anything sexual in nature. I suggest if you are in pain and still bleeding seek medical help. You don't have to tell them details but that it happened during sexual activity and it's a concern and you want to be checked out. Health should come before embarrassment.

    I do hope you feel better!! Remember you deserve better too, the partner you are with should care and respect you. Sending hugs

    1426903841
    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3702
    • Joined: 17 Jul 2013

    If it's any consolation I think you've done the right thing by getting rid of him, he clearly didn't have any respect for you by abusing you in this way. Not means no in whatever the circumstances, even when using sex toys .
    As for the bleeding , the vaginal walls may have just been a little grazed due to not being lubricated and suddenly having to stretch to acommodate a large toy, this can sometimes happen when you give birth. If it continues to bleed do see a doctor. Internal exams aren't as awful as you think and I'm sure most doctors have seen and heard it before so they won't be shocked and you've no need to feel embarrassed.
    Hope it all sorts itself out for you, take care and try not to worry too much x

    1426903994
    JM88 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1174
    • Joined: 12 Nov 2014

    Just to add incase youre worried about details, all women are different and there are some who can easily take an 8 inch girth dildo, and some who would cause pain and discomfort with a 4 inch girth dildo.

    You would only have to explain that it happened during sex, and maybe that you werent using enough lube. I dont think they would necessarily need to ask what was it you, how long it was, how wide it was etc unless it has caused a lot of damage and they suspect it wasnt something intended to be put up there!

    what was the toy made from and what shape? Does it have any rough edges on it if it was cheap that couldve grazed the walls as someone has mentioned?

    1426906046
    naughty mum [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1524
    • Joined: 8 Apr 2014

    Hun...as soon as you wanted him to stop and continued...that's assault. Do not be afraid of going to doctor and or the sex clinic at your local hospital.
    The fact he was causing you pain, and actual harm( bleeding ) with a physical act caused by him...the fact he didn't go in himself is mute.
    You told him to stop....he didn't. You are rightly scared and feel violated and you should not keep it to yourself.
    Sex remains consentual if you are still both into it....if you ask for it to stop and he doesn't he violates that consent.
    If you had not turfed him out...what would he have stepped up to? Or would he do it again to someone else... Or has he already done this before to others?
    Either way its important to get yourself checked out..and take it from there.
    Have courage.
    We all have had rougher sex than vanilla sometimes in our lives...but that is by mutual consent. When it gets out of hand...that's the time to stand up for yourself.
    Take that from a survivor.
    Xx

    1426906639
    Never know [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1680
    • Joined: 29 Nov 2014

    First of all I'm so pleased to ready that he is your now EX! This is an appalling way to treat anyone let alone someone that you are in a relationship with and care for. People like this make my blood boil. What a horrible thing for him to have done and what's been said already is spot on. It's assault and you deserve a hell of a lot better than this.

    If I were you I'd take a break from any kind of sex for a while as this will be painful until you have healed properly. If in a day or so you're not feeling better however embarrassing it might be to go get checked out please do because I would hate for him to have done some perminant damage to you.

    We are here for you.

    And trust me, despite what you might think or people say, not all blokes are scum bags!

    1426906898
    dh1310 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 7
    • Joined: 21 Mar 2015

    Well said naughty mum

    1426924672
    LadyS [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 935
    • Joined: 4 Jul 2012

    Never ever be embarassed to go to the doctor about anything, they have seen it all before. Perhaps ask for a female doctor if it would help you feel more at ease. Your health is the most important thing and they would definitely not see this as a laughing matter. You can also call the NHS out-of-hours number 111. They will be able to give you advice too. Obviously with it being the weekend access to other services could be limited, but they are there no matter the time and day.

    He is very much in the wrong and I cannot agree with the others more that this was indeed an assault. No means no, and to keeps going no matter what it is with it just plain wrong. Nobody derves that and it angers me to see he thought that was okay to do.

    You seem to be such a sweet and lovely person, so you definitely deserve to have a partner who is going to treat you with a whole lot more respect and love than this. Stay strong Sweety, and don't let the douchebag think this is okay. He needs to know he seriously crossed the line.

    Much Love and take care of yourself x

    1426925162
    Sarahgee [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 731
    • Joined: 16 Jun 2014

    Just go to the doctor, lovely. You don't have to go through the embarassment of rxplaining the whole story with the dildo if you don't want to lol :) you can say you slept with somebody who waaaayyyy larger than average. The doc doesn't need to know the exact details, just that something huge was in you is plenty info. X

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.