• Vasectomy

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    I wanted to chim in here becuase I personally do not like most other people's kids. There I said it. I have little patience and I am not overly maternal. So I am not sure being around other people's babies is going to offer you a clear perspective.

    But I do have children of my own and I will say that my life is so much richer for that. How I feel for my own children is a love and connection I could never imagine, it is crazy how much your heart growns with a child. I am not a young mom on the scheme of things, but I wasn't ready in my 20s, I was way to into travel and doing other things.

    So while you do not need to be in a hurry to have children, you also do not want to be in a hurry to make too quick of a decision about sterilization. Your perspective may change with time, if it doesn't do the big V later on.

    I have the mirena IUD, I believe ya'll might call it a "coil" in the UK, it is a lovely form of birth control without all the high hormonal mess of the pill. Personally the pill kiled my libio / sex drive.

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    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
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    Kinky J. wrote:

    I wanted to come into this thread because I am seriously thinking about having a vasectomy myself.

    There was an unwanted pregnancy some years ago and it ended with a termination, and while this isn't the place to go into all those details I need only say that it left emotional scars the like of which I don't care to revisit.

    However, I'm certain now that I don't want children, and I'm at the age where if I was going to have any I would have wanted to do it sooner.

    The problem is, the wounds of the past are still there even though I know how stupid it is after all this time to still be affected by it. I can't...'perform', shall we say, between the sheets and I know that most of it comes from my fear of similar happening again and the fact that I don't trust contraception any more. I'm a very passionate and sensual person but sadly it's been my experience that most women won't even go there if they can't be sure there's sex waiting at the end of it, and consequently I've engaged in intercourse a grand total of three times over the past ten years.

    I think that if I was to have a vasectomy, coupled with still using a condom just for extra backup and of course from the perspective of staying clean, it would do wonders to take away all that and maybe I could start to have a sex life again or embark on a new one.

    Question - has anyone else faced a similar situation, and do you find that having had the snip gives you better peace of mind? Does it affect anything else in life or can it lead to a bad outcome emotionally or mentally? What kind of reaction did family and friends have if/when you told them?

    The operation itself doesn't worry me; it's the aftermath that I get a little scared of. I also don't really know where to start - does one just ask a GP about it and go from there?

    (Sorry about this post, I hope it wasn't too personal or just too plain boring.)

    Without giving too much personal detail away but my partner had his vascetomy based on sililar circumstances.

    has anyone else faced a similar situation: His decision was based on an event that happened and result in deciding it would be emotionally and mentally safier for him and his previous partner to do the op

    and do you find that having had the snip gives you better peace of mind? It did but not long after the op they broke up and now we are in the position we are in

    Does it affect anything else in life or can it lead to a bad outcome emotionally or mentally? It has had an affect now due to the fact that he has changed his mind, after recieveing some emotional and mental support about what happened too

    What kind of reaction did family and friends have if. when you told them? His family was very much against the idea of him having the op , however supported his final decision . He and his ex believed this to be the best thing for them at the time

    I realy hope things get better and you find the best way for you to manage. There are so many options and support avenues to look into too.

    I will see if my partner would be happy to share more of his experience with you too as it may be more helpful tahn my input xx

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    Kinky J. [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks so much Leanne, that's really kind!

    When I have an issue like this it's always sad in a way to hear that someone else has suffered a similar fate, but then in another way it's reassuring especially with such a sensitive subject to know that I'm not the only man who's had an emotional reaction to something like that.

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    From a female observation only when a partner is "v safe" to do find myself much more relaxed and I would think he is too knowing there is no pregnancy risk. It is a very permanent decision to make and not one to be taken lightly. Best wishes to you.

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    Redmosquito [sign in to see picture]
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    Been with my wife for 9 years. We have 2 kids and knew that we didn't want more. For us, well me a vasectomy was a no brainer. The doctor was a little sceptical at first but eventually put me forward. It then took a while to get done but the procedure itself was quick and easy. Afterwards was a little sore but I was back surfing the weekend after. Sex took slightly longer but not much. After a nervous first few times it's all basically back to normal and working fine. We've finally had the all clear on my sperm count too so happy days.

    For me it was the best thing to do. Far better than a lifetime of contraception anyway.

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    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
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    Just booked myself an appointment with the docs to discuss options next week. I've been thinking about having the snip for a while now; and after a recent termination it made me realise that I definitely don't want more children.

    Has anyone had a vasectomy recently? The NHS site suggests that a no-scalpel method is now in common use, and it's believed to be less likely to cause complications. I'm not bothered by a scalpel personally, but the only thing that's holding me back is the thought of PVPS (post-vasectomy pain syndome). The NHS site suggests it affects 1 in 10; wikipedia (not exactly reliable, I know), says a study found it was as high as 18%.

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    Bunniebasher [sign in to see picture]
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    I had mine a couple of years ago, was a little uncomfortable for a few days but by no means unbearable and I still had to get in and out of cars to mot at work and some car seats dig in the wrong places. Had it done on a Friday and back to work on the Monday. No stitching as it cortarised (I know I can't spell lol) and wound is tiny and left to close under the dressings. They will tell you you can't lift anything heavier than a feather, they nearly had a fit when I said I would be driving cars on a ramp and using the beam jacks. I know everyone's perception of bad is different but I found it OK.

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    Bunniebasher [sign in to see picture]
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    If I'm not mistaken it was through Marie stopes?

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    Sailor77 [sign in to see picture]
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    I had one at a Marie Stopes clinic back 6 years ago, no pain and non scalpel in and out in 30mins only pain was the swipe of the debit card!

    I had 3 kids when I had mine done, no regrets I had mine done when I was 31. I knew that I didn't want anymore kids no matter how my circumstances might change in the future...

    I once met someone who had had theirs reversed and fathered another 3 kids!!

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    obsessionnumber1 [sign in to see picture]
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    Having a vasectomy is always something that I have considered after we have decided on and had the kids we want as other half doesn't cope well with hormone based contraception and I hate condoms.

    Recently we had our first child and we have talked about when to try for the second and probably final child. It has got me thinking about the procedure again.

    A few questions remain...
    Is the NHS criteria different depending on where you live?
    If both are married, early thirties and together have say just two children, is that usually enough to be referred?
    What costs are usually involved? Both NHS and private?
    Finally - perhaps a silly question - does the volume, colour or consistency of ejaculate change post vasectomy?

    Thanks anyone

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    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
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    obsessionnumber1 wrote:

    A few questions remain...
    Is the NHS criteria different depending on where you live?
    If both are married, early thirties and together have say just two children, is that usually enough to be referred?
    What costs are usually involved? Both NHS and private?
    Finally - perhaps a silly question - does the volume, colour or consistency of ejaculate change post vasectomy?

    Thanks anyone

    I can't put a direct link on this forum, but I googled 'NHS vasectomy FAQs' and found the answers to some of those. If successfully referred on the NHS it will always be free...I read that you can have sex as soon as is comfortable after the OP, but the first ejaculations may contain a little blood. I didn't find anything to suggest that the colour or consistency would be affected long term...
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    Lilmisshottie [sign in to see picture]
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    HI, hope you don't mind me sharing how my OH's vasectomy came about.

    Firstly I was diagnosed with PCOS and told that I would not concieve naturally, however I went through fertility treatment and fell pregnant with my daughter. This relationship ended not long after. I met my now husband who had a son from a previous relationship. Given my diagnosis and the fertility treatment we never used contraception, I can't take oral ones as they really mess me up, condoms stopped being used when we knew we were serious. Trying to shorten my story I eneded up falling pregnant another two times (super spunk my hubby called it lol) and we were over the moon, however circumstances drastically changed with my last pregnany and without too much info it was a scary experience that really affected us both and led us to looking into my OH having a vasectomy.

    At 32 with 4 kids between us and the complications experienced our GP was still hesitant to refer us but my OH spoke with GP ensuring her that given oral contraception doesn't work for us and regardless of "circumstances changing" he did not want any more children and did not want to risk my health or that of another baby if I were to fall pregnant again. Our GP referred us and of course my opinion was taken into account as we were married.

    The op itself was straight forward my OH stating the worst part being the anesthetic prior to the op. He was naturally tender afterwards however no where near as sores as he thought he would be. He healed quickly and has had no issues with erection/performance/sensitivity that we were warned about.

    The choice to have a vasectomy can come from many different circumstances/needs/wants/beliefs, I was prepared to be sterilised as it was my health/baby that was at risk if I fell pregnant, however my husband had said he couldn't watch me go through more op's and pain that he felt this was his way of protecting us. We considered all the options very carefully and in depth before going to the GP, so my only advice is that you take time over the decision and when making your choice that you choose to do it because it is what you want.

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    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you for sharing lilmisshottie :)

    It's def for me, and I'm already a dad and in my thirties xx

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    Lilmisshottie [sign in to see picture]
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    Not a problem sex squid!

    Hopefully to reassure you, my OH was tender for a few days and more paranoid of our kids catching him, but he healed rather quickly and we were having sex less than a week after. I have found absolutely no change physically except perhaps his ejaculation is a different consistency but not in a bad way!
    Good luck with the GP, fingers crossed you get a good one who will respect your choice. Working in the health service I know that showing you have researched and thought about what you are asking for, and being honest that you are worried that not getting one will affect your mental health in terms of the recent termination. Hope all goes well.

    Lilmiss x

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    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi guys
    not to spoil the point of the thread but i had mine done caus the wife stopped taking the pill without telling me it took 3 monuths before she got pregnant with our third child we had talked adout having more but nothing had been decided been together 12yrs at this point so as not to be duped again i had the snip
    this changed our relationship forever but we are still together over 30yrs now but sadly things were never going to be the same
    sorry again if spoils the thread but think long and hard about the snip and make sure you are doing it for the right reasons... xxx

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    Bunniebasher [sign in to see picture]
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    Sex Squid wrote:

    obsessionnumber1 wrote:

    A few questions remain...
    Is the NHS criteria different depending on where you live?
    If both are married, early thirties and together have say just two children, is that usually enough to be referred?
    What costs are usually involved? Both NHS and private?
    Finally - perhaps a silly question - does the volume, colour or consistency of ejaculate change post vasectomy?

    Thanks anyone

    mine was referred through NHS and was free. I can't put a direct link on this forum, but I googled 'NHS vasectomy FAQs' and found the answers to some of those. If successfully referred on the NHS it will always be free...I read that you can have sex as soon as is comfortable after the OP, but the first ejaculations may contain a little blood. I didn't find anything to suggest that the colour or consistency would be affected long term...
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    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
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    Well, I'm all booked in!

    V-day is 12 weeks away!!!

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    Mrs Mad Dog Me [sign in to see picture]
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    When both me and my hubby met when we was 20 we both new we didn't want any children and new that we wouldn't in the future
    We talked endlessly about it and because of our age we knew that we wouldn't be allowed any operation like that by our gp due to our age we used other contraception pill condoms
    I was on the pill till my early 30's and between then and now had 3 times where the condom split hence panic we definitely didn't want to be pregnant (I've just turned 40)
    Too cut a long story short my hubby finally had a vasectomy last year it's such a relief to not have to worry about becoming pregnant and our whole life changing our sex life has improved too as we feel more relaxed and we do wish that we could have gone down that route sooner as long as you've talked it over and gone through the what ifs and are still sure then go for it we wish we had good luck😉

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    frisk69 [sign in to see picture]
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    Good luck squid.

    I found a pair of Speedos were the most comfortable underwear afterwards.

    And I would add, despite the lads above who have said they were back to normal within hours.. personally I felt like I'd been booted in the balls for three days afterwards.... so don't be afraid or surprised if you have to take it easy....

    Given the risk of complications if you don't heal properly, I wouldn't be gung ho on getting back to normal. Two weeks is tissue healing time.....

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    stesilc [sign in to see picture]
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    i had the snip as my wife sufferd badly and still does from our last but loverly baby the doc tried to put us of due to my wifes age 25 at the time and 3 kids it was painless and ok but how do you how you will feel in a few years time . i was 49 i have 2 older kids from a former wife who wanted me to get the snip but i refused ,im glad i did as i went on to remarry and have 3 more kids . so dont get the snip unless your 100 % sure

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