• First time same sex anal sex- tips/advice

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    darklightq [sign in to see picture]
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    As some of you may know I've started participating in some same-sex fun with a guy, and so far it's been simple BJ and HJ's. Now though I'm considering full on anal sex, either giving, recieving or even both when i see the guy tomorrow again.

    I already know the guy and he knows me so all the pleasantries and general chit chat about what I want from this has been done so no advice is really needed there as i'm sure we will both discuss things before hand anyway .

    As i've only ever done anal on myself I am looking for some tips and general advice people can give me in order to ensure things go as well as they can.

    Cheers

    1424799987
    DavidB1986 [sign in to see picture]
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    I wrote a guide to anal sex on my blog if you want to have a look:

    http://thebiggayreview.com/2014/10/10/anal-sex-101-a-beginners-guide-to-bum-lovin/

    The TL/DR version is:

    1. RELAX. In order for it to be completely enjoyable, you'll want to do something to help you relax - whether that's having a nice hot bath etc - whatever it takes for you to relax.

    2. PREPERATION. If you want to douche before hand, you'll want to give it at least an hour after douching before engaging in anal play, just to ensure there's no loose water hanging about. It's also handy to warm up as well, and get yourself prepared with a butt plug or dildo before hand. Also LUBE - use LOTS of Lube.

    3. PATIENCE. Take it slow and at a pace that you are comfortable with. You don't need to rush into it.

    4. TAKE CONTROL. For first timers, I always recommend taking the lead, and sticking with positions where you are in control (i.e you sitting on top etc) so you can control the depth etc.

    5. HAVE FUN! Most importantly, you just need to have fun with with it - it should be an enjoyable experience for both of you.

    I hope this helps!

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    darklightq [sign in to see picture]
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    Cheers david, will take a look at the guide but that TLDR version is perfect fo now so thanks very much

    Don't have a douche but will be showering as close to when things will be hapening as possibe, not only to relax but make sure i'm fresh all over so i'd assume blasting the shower round the anus area will be helpful in the absese of a douche if not quite the same?

    I have plenty of lube (more than enough for his first time anyway) and a couple smaller toys to warm up with as I always do when using any of the bigger anal toys i have.

    I never thought about taking the lead as such in the way you describe but defiitely something I will do. I did think about sticking with comfortable positions as a given though.

    Not sure if we will both do anal or just have one of us recieveing but will discuss that with him.

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    DavidB1986 [sign in to see picture]
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    TBH, it's entirely up to you when it comes to douching.

    As long as you've had a 'movement', the lower part should be relatively clear, so yes, just a shower with a 'clean' around the area would be sufficient - and using a condom will help keep messes to a minimal.

    I always suggest taking the lead because I had a very bad experience my first time - the guy I was seeing just wanted to get straight down to it, and he took control and it was incredibly painful, and it took me years to give myself the courage to try it again with someone I trusted - hence why I always suggest the 'on top' position (or something similar) where you can control how much/how fast/how deep.

    Just remember to take it slow, relax and if at any point you feel uncomfortable or it's too painful, you can stop.

    Good Luck!

    1424804087
    darklightq [sign in to see picture]
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    Had some 'movement' this morning so hopefully with a general clean in the shower tomorrow I should be ok.

    I would like to say the realistic dildo I have to have helped prepare me for the real thing but still best to take the lead and make sure I do what is best for me.

    As always with anal on myself I make sure i'm warmed up, relaxed and tend to go slow to begin with till i'm confortable then take it from there with what I like so will do the same with this guy.

    Thanks for the advice david, very much appreciated.

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    macspants [sign in to see picture]
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    I guess your previous experience with toys would give you a fair idea of whether you should douche. I find my wife is generally as clean as a whistle, without being crude with me not so much.

    I actually find the douching pleasent and like the idea of being clean inside and out.

    Any way best of luck and I truly hope reality lives up to the fantasy.

    1424859547
    SR36 [sign in to see picture]
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    DavidB1986 wrote:

    I had a very bad experience my first time - the guy I was seeing just wanted to get straight down to it, and he took control and it was incredibly painful, and it took me years to give myself the courage to try it again with someone I trusted

    +1. I was completely put off anal for years because of this, until I found someone who was incredibly gentle and patient- then I realise how amazing anal can be.

    Best of luck Dark- sounds like you've given it plenty of thought and are going about it in the "right" way.

    1424864426
    darklightq [sign in to see picture]
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    Cheers macspants and SR,

    It's taken me a while to get to this stage which is certainly a good thing, it's helped me understand if this is something I do want or just a fantasy i would never act out. Also I've had time to understand wehat exactly I want now that I am doing things.

    If you are interested to know how things go I can update this thread after things happen.

    1424865632
    GlamRockChick [sign in to see picture]
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    Hope you have a wonderful time! Will be interested to hear how it goes, coz I'm nosy! xx

    1424869904
    darklightq [sign in to see picture]
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    Hehe GRC, I don't mind you being nosey to an extent anyway lol.

    Got about an hour, maybe less before he comes, so had a quick tidy and hoover before I relax.

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    PeppermintPerfection [sign in to see picture]
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    I also hope you have a good time! Relax and enjoy it ;)
    Please do let us know how it goes! x

    1424877605
    darklightq [sign in to see picture]
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    That went well as it could have, and, I hate to say this, but sadly it did nothing for me really.

    I didn't recieve but gave and it was his first time doing anal with a guy but not his first anal experience, so he brought condoms which was fine by me. I won't go into the specifics/detail on here but we took it nice and slow to begin with, stopping when he felt discomofrt and stopping to re-lube or change positions. We did go a bit faster later on but upto his comfort level and no more.

    He seemed to be happy with what I did and really enjoyed it, but as in my first paragraph it did nothing for me. I am not sure what I was expecting, but for some reason although It was not bad, and there was pleasure there, it just didn't feel like anything that special or anything out of the ordinary. Also It took me longer to climax than usualy even though I felt I was ready too but that might just have been me and nmot what I did that was the casuse.

    Think I've covered everything so yeah.

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    GlamRockChick [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey Dark! Glad it went well, but it's a shame that you were a bit disappointed. Do you think nerves might have had anything to do with it? I sometimes find if I'm a bit anxious about anything new we're trying then I can't get into it as much. Or was it not what you thought it would be?
    Glad you're back Ok anyway!

    1424882202
    darklightq [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks GRC

    Don't think it was nerves as I had none really not even small nerves which is suprising. The guy came to me and we did in the room where my PC is so I've spent a lot of time in there anyway to be comfortable in it (Spare room with a bed in it).

    I'm not saying it was terrible or anything, far from it but, I guess the act of giving was probably not what i expected pleasure/excitment wise. I had a thought in my head of what it would be like to have a real guy there and the excitement that would bring even for my first time but then it didn't happen.

    Glad I did it though, not quite a fantasy as such, but what happened last time and today was part of a more deep curiosity which I can say i've completed all bar me recieving.

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    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Do you think you're done then or will you be exploring receiving some more?

    1424883677
    darklightq [sign in to see picture]
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    Honestly not sure if i'm done but will need to have a good think about it. Always said to myself that I give everything a try then see if it's really for me or not, then and take it from there.

    I still haven't recieved anal yet (other than on myself) and that's the last thing I have on my list to explore so may see if I can do that before making my mind up..

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    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    So glad to hear your experience was positive - if not mind blowing.

    I think that sometimes we give things such a build up, even if it's just in our minds, that we do get a bit dissappointed if they dont feel exactly as we thought they would. I tend to think of things like this as part of lifes' journey. If you decided to try this again, and it has to be entirely up to you, you may feel differently or you may not. You will, hopefully try other things - some of these will do it for you, others may not. At the end of the day - you'll never know if you dont try !

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    MrPink [sign in to see picture]
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    Sounds like a bit more experimenting is called for. I spent years at an all-boys boarding school and the gay and bi guys generally tried it both ways round for a while then settled on 'A' - Arse-bandit, 'B' - Brown-hatter, or 'C' - preferred girls (work it out yourself!).

    I'm not saying there aren't people who love it both ways, but most seem to prefer one or the other. It also can take a while to get used to the physical manifestation of something you've only had in your mind previously. It took me a few tries to get it right with girls, as it happens.

    It may also turn out that although it never gets to be mind-blowing with your mate it does with somebody else ...

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