• Question about anal sex and constipation

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    Monkeysnacks [sign in to see picture]
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    First of all no this isn't a joke or some attempt to troll. Second, I've read through all the other anal sex threads (not to mention voyaging to the some of the scariest parts of the internet) and I still can't find a definitive answer, so please don't just refer me back to those threads unless you know there is a specific post pertaining to my question. So, at the risk of excruciating embarrassment I'm just going to ask: is it necessary to empty your bowels as part of anal sex preparation?

    I take a medication, a side effect of which is constipation. Sometimes I can empty my bowels once a day, at times I can go three or four days. In general it isn't really a factor because I've never needed to predict it before, but now I'm considering anal I'm not sure whether it's a good thing or a bad thing.

    Part of the problem is that I'm in a long-distance relationship and my partner is visiting soon and I will only have a relatively small window to try this, so I can't really "just wait and see how I feel", I feel that I need to do as much as I can to make this a possibility. That said I'm not going to just charge into it and do it even if my body tells me it is not up for it. I'm hoping to find a happy medium.

    My planned preparation so far is to try to move my bowels, then to use this douche http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=952 with warm water until the water runs clean, then a shower to make sure everything is fresh and clean everywhere else, then foreplay for a good half an hour to give my colon time to absorb any remaining water, then all systems are go, as it were.

    My question is, should I take a laxative in the days beforehand to make sure I have had a recent movement (either in the days prior or on the day itself) or will the constipation actually help to reduce mess? I am asking mainly because whilst doing research I have read on some gay sex sites that regular bottoms take Immodium on the night to avoid any "surprises" as they put it. If I am going to be using a douche to clean out the lower part of my colon (i.e. not trying to trigger a movement, just rinsing things out) will it matter whether or not I have moved my bowels beforehand?

    I have contamination OCD so am keen not to encounter any mess. I've discussed it with my partner though and he said it wouldn't bother him if we were to have a little accident. I am prepared for the fact that we may encounter some fecal matter and will have to deal with that if and when the situation arises, I just want to do all that I can to minimise the risk.

    Apologies for the graphicness and even greater apologies to all those reading this smashing their heads into the keyboard groaning "not another one!" I have spent a good deal of time preparing myself for the big moment in other ways and I just want to feel as comfortable and prepared as I can going into this.

    Thank you for reading all that.

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    SR36 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey Monkeysnacks.

    It sounds like you've done a fair bit of research! Speaking as someone who had stomach issues a few years ago, I would be reticent to go taking laxatives to loosen your bowels. This could mess up your stomach and make the situation worse, or lead to all manner of other symptoms of irritated bowels- like gas and cramps (not what you want when considering anal).

    I would say what you are planning is fine- bowel movement, douche (but don't overdo it) and shower. That's about all any of us can do, right?! Most importantly though- I recommend that you relax about this- not just from the actual act of anal sex point of view, but because nerves may also have an effect on your stomach! (which is another reason that I wouldn't take laxatives). It sounds like you're putting quite a lot of pressure on yourself, and I know you say it's down to it being a long distance thing, but I think just be open with your partner (sounds like you are anyway) and just see what happens- be prepared for the possibility that you may have to wait until next time.

    Like I said- I used to have quite a few stomach problems, and now I find if I eat well, exercise (helps everything move through the digestive tract) stay calm (so deal with stress) and leave it alone in terms of medication, then I'm normally fine. And I enjoy anal sex without worrying about it!

    Hope that helps :)

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    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    SR36 wrote:

    Hey Monkeysnacks.

    It sounds like you've done a fair bit of research! Speaking as someone who had stomach issues a few years ago, I would be reticent to go taking laxatives to loosen your bowels. This could mess up your stomach and make the situation worse, or lead to all manner of other symptoms of irritated bowels- like gas and cramps (not what you want when considering anal).

    I would say what you are planning is fine- bowel movement, douche (but don't overdo it) and shower. That's about all any of us can do, right?! Most importantly though- I recommend that you relax about this- not just from the actual act of anal sex point of view, but because nerves may also have an effect on your stomach! (which is another reason that I wouldn't take laxatives). It sounds like you're putting quite a lot of pressure on yourself, and I know you say it's down to it being a long distance thing, but I think just be open with your partner (sounds like you are anyway) and just see what happens- be prepared for the possibility that you may have to wait until next time.

    Like I said- I used to have quite a few stomach problems, and now I find if I eat well, exercise (helps everything move through the digestive tract) stay calm (so deal with stress) and leave it alone in terms of medication, then I'm normally fine. And I enjoy anal sex without worrying about it!

    Hope that helps :)

    Great advice.

    I have suffered from constipation all my life. I tried using laxatives a few years ago hoping them to aid weight loss but encountered lots of problems, including cramping, gas etc. A bigger problem was the fact that even if you follow the directions on the packet you can have absolutely no idea how your body is going to react. I could take the stated dose and have chronic diarrhoea for 2 days but use exactly the same brand (believe me I tried them all) a few weeks later and they wouldn't even work. Obviously if you're wanting to try anal, the last thing you need is a really sore bottom from having diarrhoea.

    I have anal penetration at least once a week and have done so for years and have never had even a tiny accident. Sounds like you have a really understanding partner and you communicate well so just relax and enjoy yourself :)

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    Kittyondrugz [sign in to see picture]
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    You can have a cup of green tea,too,always makes me go to to the toilet.I agree that you should be calm,because nerves influence my stomach 100% of the time and it is quite unpleasant.

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    BrumGuy [sign in to see picture]
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    monkeysnacks. What you've sugested sounds fine, just clean out enough to accommodate him, and leave the other three foot of colon alone. Constipation is probably a good thing, as your stools will probably be firm.

    When I'm ready to play I use a few cc's of lube squirted up via a syringe.

    I've never been constipated since the 80's that's when I had my first Higginson Syringe.

    Enjoy. x

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    JM88 [sign in to see picture]
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    If you are quite new to anal sex i wouldve thought your partner will be going very slowly and you might not be able to go for long (i used to only be able to manage a few minutes for a start!). I think with both those factors you should be ok from any mess.

    Do you have a dildo you could use to do a practise run? Ive found that using a dildo and using a penis are pretty similar when it comes to indicating if theres likely to be any mess.

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    Sarahgee [sign in to see picture]
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    To be honest, if you suffer from constipation, you won't after an anal session. Always seems to make you need to poo afterwards wether you have emptied before or not. If you are paranoid about mess try usung an anal douch beforehand, it will clean out your rectum. And may loosen up anything that is struggling to come out.

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    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
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    Any gentleman won't let you see any mess that occurs

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    Cuddlekins [sign in to see picture]
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    My partner suffers from IBS and he lets his body tell him if it ok to use anal toys or not.

    As others have said your doing the right things but please don't stress, never stress about any form of sex it will only complicate it.

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    Just Jenson [sign in to see picture]
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    Lots of good advice on here already - the best I can give is to not over do the douching and remember that douching is to clear out the rectum - and not to go into and flush out the enter intestine.

    Similarly if your planning anal sex, then just dont penetrate to deep. Also use a toy (silicone or glass) before hand as a good measure of cleanliness.

    I always increase my water intake too if I know I am planning an anal session as this massively helps with bowel movements. However if your constipation is caused by medication this might not help.

    Above all else, one thing I have learned the hard way is that anal play kind of has a mind of its own and if its not on the cards no matter how much planning and preparation you have done then you just gotta accept that and wait for the moment to come back!

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    Petrichor [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm in the same position with medication at the moment, and I've found a couple of things that help. For me the most important is making use of the gastro-colic reflex - when you first break a fast (usually breakfast, but some people have it after every meal) within about 30 minutes your body should have the contractions that move it from food finished digesting in your intestines, to a bowel movement ready to go. I have a pint and a half to a pint of tea when I get up in the morning (other people swear by coffee) and that does the trick - but if I miss the window, that's often it for the day!

    Conventional wisdom usually says you should have more fibre if you're constipated, but I actually find that makes the problem worse by adding more bulk, and then if it dries out it can cause fissures, so instead I usually go for things like pasta with a lot of olive oil, and then max out my fruit and veggies once I'm back regular. If you have quite a lot of protein in your diet, you might want to reduce that as well because your body slows down transit time (length of time from food in, to food out) so it has time to digest all the protein, which can make constipation worse.

    And make sure you stay fully hydrated (I'm never without a herbal tea!)

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    Monkeysnacks [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you everybody for all the advice, so far I'm going with the majority saying to steer clear of laxatives. Will do. (:

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    Briona87 [sign in to see picture]
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    What a great thread, I have been wondering about anal play too - I am tempted to buy my first beginners toy - but I also tend to have problems with constipation (even though I am physically active, eat plenty of fibre and even take high fibre supplements) which makes me a little uncertain about it.

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    Just Jenson [sign in to see picture]
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    One thing people neglect is water intake. Especially if maintaining a high fibre diet water is essential.

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    Blueeyes82 [sign in to see picture]
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    Don't take laxatives, it could ruin the mood ;)

    It's not necessary to open your bowels but it will be much more comfy, if you did. I wouldn't go into anal, within 1-2 hours of douching, I would wait a few extra hours

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