• Just wondering, threesome

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    Kassandra Silverbullet [sign in to see picture]
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    How do you even pick a person for a threesome?

    do you pick a friend, or like a random person you will never meet again?

    1422910086
    Subdom27 [sign in to see picture]
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    This is a useful thread on the subject:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/322-having-a-threesome/

    I think it's all down to you and what you want out of the threesome. The other person/people needs to be exactly what you're looking for, or it may not work.

    For me and my OH, we have never had someone we don't know in the sack with us. They have always been friends. That way we know who they are and we've also spent ages talking with them about it first. It has never been a spontaneous thing. It also ensures that there's already a level of trust there, which we feel is important when choosing extra people to join you.

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    Skitty [sign in to see picture]
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    The thread that Subdom linked is really useful for information :)

    I think that whether it's a friend or someone you don't know is totally up to the individual - people will do things different ways and feel comfortable about different scenarios. Like personally, I've never had a threesome but it's always something that I'm kind of looking for the opportunity to do, and I used to think it would have to be a friend because I wanted that trust. But now I think I'd rather have the other person be a stranger because of not having to know them as a person and take their feelings and our relationship into consideration so much.

    I don't think that there's one right answer though - if you tried something with a stranger and it wasn't right for you, you could always try it again with a friend if you wanted, and vice versa. I think it's important to remember with these sort of experiences that they don't necessarily have to be once-in-a-lifetime, they don't have to be perfect, and you can always try it again differently if you want to.

    1422912861
    fairehlights [sign in to see picture]
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    It's totally dependant on you, your personality, and your relationship dynamic.
    It's different for everyone, and only you can decide.

    Now, asking for advice is great, so research and find out as much as you can, but once done, it has to be you that ultimately makes the decision.

    If you have any considerable doubts about having a threesome, you probably shouldn't have one.

    1- You: if you have mental health issues, image issues, trust issues, jealousy issues and so on, you need to think hard about how having another person in your relationship (if you're in one) would affect you/it; or how you would feel being the extra in someone elses relationship. There are a lot of questions you need to ask yourself, like do you need emotional connections as well as sex? Would you be capable of accepting it as a one off, or would you need closure and communication for a long time afterwards, paralleling a relationship? Would you be jealous of your partner being with someone else? Would you envy someone elses body? And so on and so forth....

    2- Your personality: I mentioned some things in this above, but if it's going to leave any sort of metal upset or trauma, you don't wanna do it.
    If it fucks you up, it's really going to fuck you up, and if your partner was involved in the threesome (or not as the case my be) you may lose the emotional connection with them and not be able to turn to them for support. You have to be sure.

    3- Your relationship dynamic: Is your partner okay with it? Will it create a rift? Will it open a poly aspect, or will that potential cause issues? Will it be strictly organised? You have to do a lot of talking with your partner if you have one, if you are going to actively seek out a threesome. Both of you have to be completely on the same page with it, and both completely enthusiastic about it. Any other way isn't really fair.

    Saying all that, some people are just intrinsically aware that they can cope and that it's right. They should still always talk with significant others about it, but again, they'll generally be aware of this and it'll occur on its own.

    Some people... it just happens :') This does tend to be, again, with those more openly sexual and intrinsically aware and inclined.

    As for seeking out.... Swingers clubs are definitely the way to go. As a general rule everyone there is safe, sane and wanting to be there, wanting the same sorts of things.
    You could end up with any old person from Gumtree or fetlife or what not.
    Also check out local munches, as you'll have opportunities to meet and get to know other people in your area which are interested in similar things, which may lead to something :)

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