• Wife's lost libedo..

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    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi guys
    The wife has just informed me she has lost her libido ( explains her lost interest in sex)
    Being a bloke and a bit thick I am at a loss in what to suggest to help her get it back
    It's not a phisical problem more mental I think
    But I know you guys will come with some ideas on how I can help her
    Thanks in advance

    1421351538
    blackcat1492 [sign in to see picture]
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    talk to her, if you think its mental talk to her :) chances are theres something on her mind is causing it.

    if shes just not feeling it, give her a few days, try porn maybe if she likes it? or stories, personally ive always liked reading porn more than watching, and you can find tonnes online.

    and, it could be hormones! annoyingly, our hormones cause all sorts of problems, with that it will depend on her age etc. it could be her period, it could be pregancy, or it could be the start of the change, all effect libido.

    i hope i helped

    x

    1421352469
    slinkykinky [sign in to see picture]
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    Hormones do play a huge part, so you might find it comes back with a bang in a little while. Talk to her about it and if there really is no underlying issue that is putting her off, try planning a romantic evening together. It's amazing what a nice meal, a few candles, and a long massage can achieve!

    1421352931
    Sarahgee [sign in to see picture]
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    Agreed. Give her a week or so to get over it then approach the subject with a view to fix it. Everybody goes through little periods of just not being bothered! She could just be tired, stressed. Any number of things really.

    1421353440
    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
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    blackcat1492 wrote:

    talk to her, if you think its mental talk to her :) chances are theres something on her mind is causing it.

    if shes just not feeling it, give her a few days, try porn maybe if she likes it? or stories, personally ive always liked reading porn more than watching, and you can find tonnes online.

    and, it could be hormones! annoyingly, our hormones cause all sorts of problems, with that it will depend on her age etc. it could be her period, it could be pregancy, or it could be the start of the change, all effect libido.

    i hope i helped

    x

    Thanks guys

    we are in our fifths so she's not pregnant she has gone through the change so periods aren't a problem

    it could be we have a stressful weekend every weekend when our son gets his little boy (he's 3) for weekend visits and thy stay at ours

    then our son will go back to his other girlfriend the rest of the week

    she would watch porn she has done in the past, as for reading porn that might work, I'll have a chat with her

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    capricorn13 [sign in to see picture]
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    I would think it is more likely to be psychological than physical, possibly stress or general tiredness. Communication and understanding are essential. If your wife feels you are pushing for sex that may make things worse. She possibly feels guilty that you aren't getting any. I would advise plenty of intimacy- hand holding, kissing, curling up together on the sofa, cuddling in bed etc. She might be happy to stimulate you but may not be happy to rreceive. Talk to her and take it at her pace.

    Good luck to you both.

    1421355711
    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
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    capricorn13 wrote:

    I would think it is more likely to be psychological than physical, possibly stress or general tiredness. Communication and understanding are essential. If your wife feels you are pushing for sex that may make things worse. She possibly feels guilty that you aren't getting any. I would advise plenty of intimacy- hand holding, kissing, curling up together on the sofa, cuddling in bed etc. She might be happy to stimulate you but may not be happy to rreceive. Talk to her and take it at her pace.

    Good luck to you both.

    Not pushing for sex would never do that, we seem to be hung up on our kids lives ( all grown up) with there own problems

    and forgeting about our selfs

    1421356907
    capricorn13 [sign in to see picture]
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    Didn't mean to suggest you would. Sometimes when I was in your wife's position I saw almost everything my oh did as attempting to instigate sex so I guess I was trying to caution against candlelit bedrooms, back massages etc.

    I hope you and your wife manage to find more time for yourselves and that in time she regains her libido. x

    1421365605
    big and beautiful [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm sory to hear that.

    Would it be possible for you both to get away for a couple of days or your son to take his little one away for a weekend?

    And don't forget, the odd kiss on the neck as your passing, telling her she' s beautiful at unexpected moments can make a woman feel special without worrying your after anything.

    A special meal with a rose, a foot massage etc.

    I know from experience, women can feel like an item of furniture, therefore she stops knowing her own worth, stops feeling sexy and womanly and loses her libido.

    Good luck to you both xx

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    The_Cuboner [sign in to see picture]
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    My libido has taken a massive dip since I started oral contraception. What I find is that while I don't actively want sex a lot of the time, this changes once I start actually doing things. Obviously I'm not saying push her but definitely go the intimacy route. The important thing here is to let her control how far you go. Doing romantic things together is probably the best chance she has of getting it back if it's due to non-biological factors but you don't want her to think you're only doing those things for sex (which of course you wouldn't be but if her libido is gone for a while, she might start to worry about you and feel guilty no matter how considerate you are). Spending more time together and having nonsexual physical contact (hand-holding, kissing etc) will help build it up and also reassure her that you're happy to wait until her libido improves. I feel the most sexually-attracted to my partner when he shows that he cares about me non-sexually so it can't hurt

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    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks guys
    As usual your all spot on.. xx

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