• I hope he doesn't miss it

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    PhoenixRed [sign in to see picture]
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    Me and hubby have been together just short 10 years and we are very open in our discussions about past experiences etc. Recently i've been wondering though as we both have very strong views on things we will and wont do sexually, have I somehow taken something of the table that he could still really want to do or enjoy?

    The main thing is oral...I dont want him doing it to me but wonder if he may still want oral but because I have been so set against it as in never tried it because of how i felt about it he has just put it to one side. He never hints at it or asks for it. I tried talking about it but he kind of responded to it saying i should never do something i dont want to do. And i honestly have never thought of it until now but also dont want to push because I might not like it as I thought and just be curioous about why people enjoy doing it so much...

    Very confused lol. I just wouldnt want us to think differently of each other well mainly him think differntly of me for suggesting it or doing it although if he didnt want me to because of that he'd say but then i'd then feel totally embarased anyway haha

    I just wondered if anyone has had similar situations and what were your outcomes

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    SensualFire [sign in to see picture]
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    If you have sat down and talke about this sincerely openly and honestly, and you dont have any gripes, niggling thoughts/doubts, concerns etc, then it all be ok.

    Just keep those communication channels open with one another, make sure he or yur self or not taking anything the wrong way or personally. Also be open to change, you do not know if something like this will change in the future.

    Though on that I say live in the now, dont go thinking or planning tomrrow

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    Badcc67 [sign in to see picture]
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    Have you explored the reasons for your strong views? Are you concerned about how you look or smell or that it might hurt? Many men love giving their OH oral pleasure and feeling her wriggle under their tongue.

    I can take it or leave oral personally but that is probably because OH has never been enthusiastic about it. She doesn't mind oral on her though she worries about the hygiene aspect. I would perhaps like OH to give me good oral but she would need to be into it and not do it reluctantly for me to really enjoy it. I also take a long time to cum so it would require a lot of effort and patience. Hence I live without it.

    It would enhance your relationship to introduce new things. We were going rapidly downhill until I really expressed my thoughts to OH. It is important to highlight the fact that any new things are to enhance pleasure for both of you. Talking in this way will encourage greater trust and intimacy. LH has many great products to use together and help you become more open. Maybe you could try the Monogamy game.

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    Badcc67 [sign in to see picture]
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    Also, if your avatar/photo is really you, you look as if you have a good figure. Consider some sexy lingerie eg crotchless body stocking, corset and mini-skirt etc and do a strip- tease. It will enhance and showcaseyour assets and make you irresistible. As a man I would definitely appreciate the effort.

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    AsYouWish! [sign in to see picture]
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    Oral is all about the excitement of giving pleasure. If your partner enjoys receiving then it is amazingly enjoyable making them moan and writhe just by your efforts!
    If either of you don't enjoy it the enjoyment is lost. I wouldn't worry, there are plenty of other ways to enjoy yourselves.

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    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
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    PhoenixRed wrote:

    Me and hubby have been together just short 10 years and we are very open in our discussions about past experiences etc. Recently i've been wondering though as we both have very strong views on things we will and wont do sexually, have I somehow taken something of the table that he could still really want to do or enjoy?

    Ten years isn't short by any means, even if it does feel like it's flown by. Surely revisiting the subject is appropriate. Maybe put some things back on the table to slowly explore and keep what you both enjoy. So much of good sex is mental and your feelings, confidence, knowledge of each other, and curiousity will have changed over a decade.

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    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    rose hip wrote:

    PhoenixRed wrote:

    Me and hubby have been together just short 10 years and we are very open in our discussions about past experiences etc. Recently i've been wondering though as we both have very strong views on things we will and wont do sexually, have I somehow taken something of the table that he could still really want to do or enjoy?

    Ten years isn't short by any means, even if it does feel like it's flown by. Surely revisiting the subject is appropriate. Maybe put some things back on the table to slowly explore and keep what you both enjoy. So much of good sex is mental and your feelings, confidence, knowledge of each other, and curiousity will have changed over a decade.

    +1

    Whatever your reasons were for not wanting to try oral, do they really still apply to your partner of 10 years? If it is just the thought of you not liking it that is holding you back from trying it, just go for it! I'm sure your partner will not judge you for trying, whether you turn out to hate it or feel it is something you could do again in the future :)

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    CutieCurious [sign in to see picture]
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    PhoenixRed wrote:

    I tried talking about it but he kind of responded to it saying i should never do something i dont want to do.

    Sounds like you've got a good one there. :) His attitude is absolutely right - nobody should ever feel like they have to do something that they don't want to do.

    It's unclear from your OP whether you are starting to feel curious about oral sex, or whether you still feel strongly against it and just think you should do it becuase your partner might be missing it. If it's the latter, you're best to just not worry about it - your partner has made it clear he doesn't mind, and forcing yourself to do something you really don't want to very rarely leads to a pleasurable experience.

    If, however, you feel like there's a chance your outlook might have changed, go ahead and give it a try. You never know, you might find a new favourite. :)

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    darklightq [sign in to see picture]
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    Talk with your partner, explain that it's something you may not like but you want to at least try it and find out if that is the case or not. He is right about not doing something you don't want to but in this instance you would be giving it a try then not doing it ever again if you don't like it.

    I've had a experience where up untill a few years ago same sex fun was something I never really thought about, let alone wanted to try. Somehow though in the past few years, I started to get a lot more curious about things to the where I now want to give it a try. If I don't like it then I won't do it again but at least i'll know that i don't like.

    I've already had a guy perform oral on me so that's a start but I want to try a bit more before making my mind up. At the moment I'm just trying to find the right guy to have fun with so the experience is the best I can have.

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    PhoenixRed [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you everyone for your responses! I am pretty much confident with my body with my hubby. We are very open about things like that... Regarding the oral he doesn't fancy doing that to me and i don't mind not receiving it and I fully understand his reasons why and pretty much thought the same about performing oral myself. It is recently that I've started to think differently about certain things as yes I've gotten older and my closed minded views are relaxing in that I understand each to their own without judgement. I am curious to know if I would enjoy it and enjoy giving it to him. I can't say that he wouldn't enjoy it I doubt that lol
    I am hesitant though as he may just not want me to do it as his viewing of it may still be the same... I think I'll just bite the bullet and discuss it as you have suggested otherwise ill never know ☺ thanks again

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    PhoenixRed [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi it's been a long while since I posted here. Thanks again for all your help and advice it took me another 6 months to finally talk about it with hubby and I did finally try it 🙈

    ....And I'm glad I did. I actually really enjoyed it and he obviously did too lol
    I was surprised that I'd enjoy it as much as I do but watching him get pleasure from what I do to him is a massive turn on. Even thinking of it now does it for me 😊
    So just wanted to update and share that people and there opinions can and do change. I am a great example of that and obviously loving someone as much as I do allows me that sense of freedom too.

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    PhoenixRed wrote:

    Hi it's been a long while since I posted here. Thanks again for all your help and advice it took me another 6 months to finally talk about it with hubby and I did finally try it 🙈

    ....And I'm glad I did. I actually really enjoyed it and he obviously did too lol
    I was surprised that I'd enjoy it as much as I do but watching him get pleasure from what I do to him is a massive turn on. Even thinking of it now does it for me 😊
    So just wanted to update and share that people and there opinions can and do change. I am a great example of that and obviously loving someone as much as I do allows me that sense of freedom too.

    Glad everything has workewd out for you .

    I agree and I did a thread on this very subject a short while ago . Boundaries do change and generally eveything is upto to negotiation .Some things will never get passed between me and my Mrs , For example sex involving a third party will never happen .

    The best way to do this is say every 6 months do a sex survey on each other. All you need to do is list sexual acitvities say on a document page of a PC. This can be things like, spanking,oral ,roleplay, outdoors ,BDSM and every sexual kink or activity you can think of.

    Against each category place a NO, Yes and Maybe with a space for a tick.THen save the page when complete and print them off. . It just needs then for both of you to fill the survey in and then compare answers. You then know each others new boundaries and the maybes will be open to negotiation and further discussion, Quite simple really but it gets around those awkward questions .

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    Lovethekink [sign in to see picture]
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    Glad you enjoyed it xx

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    kinkytaffs [sign in to see picture]
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    Tha's fantastic for you both. Would be lovely if he reciprocated I'm sure both of you would enjoy if he returned the favour. Oral foreplay by both partners makes the sexual experience far more fulfilling.

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    steevo68 [sign in to see picture]
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    Great it all worked out fine for you both

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