• Bold, or not so bold?

    1419205504
    rogerthechorister [sign in to see picture]
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    Well, I'm fairly adventurous for a wrinkly rocker and my G/F is also reasonably open minded. She likes to think she is "in charge" and I'm working on that although racial sensitivity needs to be taken into account - but oddly although she is keen on cowgirl, she shows interest in reverse cowgirl. She likes oral (me on her and her on me) and manual (ditto) but she seem resistant to sitting on my face (not totally averse just moving forwards from cowgirl) but seems wholly not inclined tomove backwards from reverse cowgirl. I don't get this, if she wants to be "in charge" that would put her very in charge with manual access to my vulnerabilities.

    I'm open to mechanical and psychological explanations.

    1419251211
    Gifted Amateur [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi,

    Maybe she doesn't like going from penetrative to Oral positions? She might not like the idea of one to the other?

    Could be an arse issue? Reverse cowgirl is a perspective thing too isn't it, maybe she doesn't think 'arse' first' is good?

    Have you asked her?

    1419254205
    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
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    The need to support myself always gets in the way of orgasm (for me) and face sitting is the worst. I never feel 'in charge' in that position. I feel unbalanced, awkward, usually trying not to let on how badly it's hurting my knees until the man's gotten what he wants from it. (Can't hide it forever though, joints won't let me.)

    With a cow girl type position, at least I can rest a bit during. It's a bit more stable too.

    That's my experience of the mechanics, though it's from the point of view of disabilities. In other threads, women have talked about the psychological vulnerabilities around weight being especially worrisome with face sitting. I'm an alright weight but I don't feel remotely sexy or in control in that sort of position. It's something the man wants, so he's really in charge.

    1419266326
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    I enjoy face sitting, but I have to say, not to get to orgasm. Like Rose Hip pointed out, the focus on holding myself up/supporting my weight and balancing...while being licked/pleasured? It is something I have only managed to do on a few occasions and only because I have a high headboard that I could lean forward onto for support. If I had not had that support, there would have been almost zero chance of me truly enjoying face sitting to orgasm.

    So, for me, Face sitting is lots of fun and feels powerful, until I have had enough then I get off. You say "If she wants to be in charge, why doesnt she..." well, my take on this is she is being in charge. She sits on your face the way that she likes it and then gets off when she decides enough is enough. You don't get much more in charge than that really. :D

    I am guessing the reason she prefers going from cowgirl to facesitting, rather than reverse cowgirl to face sitting, is the anus being more involved. Does she ever ask you to lick around her anus at any other time? Reversing over a mans face means the anus is going to pass over his mouth/tongue/nose and finally stop right in view of his eyes. This is a brave position and one that I assume you want to try because it turns you on. For her, it may make her feel quite vulnerable and if she wants to feel totally in charge, that vulnerability might put her on edge, unable to relax and take control of the session.

    That's my psychological opinion, as a woman (who takes a dominant role)

    As for the physical...it actually is harder to balance on a mans face in reverse position. Let me try to explain this from experience....

    When you sit forwards on a mans face, your vulva (esp the clitoris) comes to rest pretty naturally over his mouth and your bum cheeks fill the gap around his neck area. In reverse position, I personally feel as though I have to lean forward more as my bum cheeks are on his forehead! I feel more like I am suffocating him with my arse in this position (Facing forwards, I tend to lean back slightly and his face is exposed). This is what feels most natural in both of those positions. Unfortunately, leaning forward (when sitting in reverse position) puts a lot more strain on the body than leaning backwards slightly, especially as the forward leaning is more exaggerated. You eventually have to prop up and support your whole upper body with your arms, or put your weight entirely on his body. I do this now, but was very paranoid about squashing him at first. My back would ache and all sorts.

    To sum up, face sitting (especially all the way to orgasm) is one of the most uncomfortable positions, especially if you take a while to get to orgasm. You get pins and needles/numb legs, aching thighs, aching back etc etc. Psychologically, it is also hard to relax...harder in reverse position where you know he is inches away from staring directly at your anus. Things she might worry about (that could ruin her enjoyment) include squashing you, worrying about you having such an up-close view of her most intimate parts and worrying about reaching orgasm with the discomfort taking over her legs/back. Worrying about getting sweaty during this "workout" etc.

    I guess the best thing to do is put yourself in her shoes. Imagine kneeling for an extended period of time, with someones face beneath you, staring at your anus while you masturbate. All the things you would think/feel. It might help if you asked her too. She would be the best person to tell you her main issues with that position. Some you might be able to overcome, like comfort (tell her she can put her weight on you and it won't squash you etc). Others she might not ever feel comfortable with and that's fair enough really.

    Good luck!

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