• Dilema

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    Corset_is [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 18 Sep 2013

    Stuburns wrote:

    Never seen one from a female op with responses like maybe if you haven't already help with the diy or cleaning the car. Maybe run him a nice bath when he gets home after his physically demanding job.
    Very few men of this day and age sit on there backsides. It's an old assumption that men don't do their bit.
    I think the op needs to talk to his oh to find the reasons for this. definately don't sleep with another women.

    Maybe no one ever says this to females cos we don't need to be told?? When my OH comes over after work and is knackered I don't moan about us not having sex, I cook him dinner, give him a massage and we fall asleep in each other's arms. To me that's only natural.

    And NO, OP, do not go and sleep with another woman. Whether your wife said it was OK or not it is still MAJORLY disrespectful to her (and the woman you are looking to use for sex) Try thinking of your poor, hard working wife instead of your cock.

    P.S. According to a mate who's not had it in 12 years Tenga Eggs are awesome ;-)

    1417179343
    Stuburns [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1782
    • Joined: 23 Nov 2011

    Stuburns wrote:
    Never seen one from a female op with responses like maybe if you haven't already help with the diy or cleaning the car. Maybe run him a nice bath when he gets home after his physically demanding job.
    Very few men of this day and age sit on there backsides. It's an old assumption that men don't do their bit.
    I think the op needs to talk to his oh to find the reasons for this. definately don't sleep with another women.

    Maybe no one ever says this to females cos we don't need to be told?? When my OH comes over after work and is knackered I don't moan about us not having sex, I cook him dinner, give him a massage and we fall asleep in each other's arms. To me that's only natural.

    Very bold statement that really. very blinkered too.

    1417180326
    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2748
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2014

    Corset_is wrote:

    Stuburns wrote:

    Never seen one from a female op with responses like maybe if you haven't already help with the diy or cleaning the car. Maybe run him a nice bath when he gets home after his physically demanding job.
    Very few men of this day and age sit on there backsides. It's an old assumption that men don't do their bit.
    I think the op needs to talk to his oh to find the reasons for this. definately don't sleep with another women.

    Maybe no one ever says this to females cos we don't need to be told?? When my OH comes over after work and is knackered I don't moan about us not having sex, I cook him dinner, give him a massage and we fall asleep in each other's arms. To me that's only natural.

    And NO, OP, do not go and sleep with another woman. Whether your wife said it was OK or not it is still MAJORLY disrespectful to her (and the woman you are looking to use for sex) Try thinking of your poor, hard working wife instead of your cock.

    P.S. According to a mate who's not had it in 12 years Tenga Eggs are awesome ;-)

    Not true for all women and men but I do agree to a point, it is biologically true that women are more in tune with others emotions than men, I always try and keep OH relaxed and he does his best for me but we do handle it differently, that's just how we are, I do, due to learning disabilities struggle but I pull myself back in line lol

    1417181301
    pixpix [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
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    • Joined: 20 Jun 2014

    I totally understand what it's like to be in her position. Sometimes when you're working a lot, even when you do have free time, you're so tired that you want to relax!

    But it never lasts long for me, and i'll usually be back to my normal antics after a short break.

    But i would not recommend sleeping with someone else. Even though she'd said it's okay, doesn't mean that she means it. There's no way for you to know for sure.

    It's deffo worth the wait!

    1417184468
    Peitho [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 342
    • Joined: 24 Feb 2014

    Hi Scott, like others I would advise against sleeping with someone else even if your wife has said it's okay it's bound to bring up strong feelings and probably cause problems in the future.

    If the sex used to be good and it is all down to massively hectic lives I think others who have suggested you arrange one weekend when the kids aren't around and you can both completely chill out are right, that's definitely the way to go though I understand this mat be very difficult. Sex is an important part of most relationships and we all go though difficult times when things do dry up but trying to get back to where you were both happy is the way to go. Is it just being too busy that's putting her off or possibly stress from work life overtaking home life and creating a mental block? If so, is there anyway this could be reduced?

    I really hope you both find something that works. Good luck.

    1417185043
    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1541
    • Joined: 11 May 2013

    I'm in a virtually sexless marriage OK we had words earlier this year and it's happened twice but that's gone again, I make do with toys or more often fantasies. Cuddles are very important. Please don't have sex with someone else, take the pressure off and try to talk away from home or when she's not too busy, hugs.

    1417201974
    Just Jenson [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 19 Dec 2009

    You have a wife who you love and are fathering children to whom she is the mother.

    There was a time when you promised to love her for better and for worse.

    If you're both run into the ground then somewhere along the lines youre both doing something that needs to be addressed and changed to free up time for 'you and her time' whatever that may be.

    Sleeping with someone else may be a quick fix, but it is really sealing over the cracks as opposed to working together to find a proper solution.

    Even though she has given you the go ahead, how wuld you feel if she suddenly got her drive back, and found someone else for a quick fix, because you were too busy working yourself into the ground?

    Trust me, I'm not even married, but know nothing hurts more than feeling betrayed by someone who you had promised your life to - especially when they resorted to going elsehwere to find a 'quick fix'.

    By a stroker - better than using your hand(!) - and use that as a quick fix. For the long term fix, work on having more time together as opposed to more time apart.

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    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 17 Jul 2013

    Your wife may say it's ok to have sex with someone else but she might just be saying that because she feels bad about depriving you of sex. It might seem like a good solution now but long term I think you'd be storing up more problems for the future because deep down she might be really hurt that you could go through with it.

    You need to think how you'd feel if the situation was reversed. It's probably just a temporary blip , most of us go through times in a relationship when sex gets put on the back burner because of work commitments or kids etc.

    Hopefully, given time things will get back to normal but until then there's lots of toys you can use on your own.

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