• How often does the LH site leave you feeling inadequate?

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    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks Rose and everyone else. I'm alright. The forum is a constant reminder that I'd be a huge disappointment to most of the participants, along with a fair number of the people I've tried to date. (Have been more like a mid-range disappointment to the rest.) Really don't want to be the subject of a 'how to I get this woman to do this, she's ok but the sex could use some spice' thread.

    I'm used to that, it's been a long time since much got a look in here besides kink. But it feels like it's everywhere I look any more, like the promotions and the testers list. Not LH's fault. They're a for-profit company and BDSM is where the money is. I'm still not used to lacking confidence in myself sexually though, that's only developed in the last while. Now I'm wondering what all of the ex-partners who decided they could do better weren't telling me. I know two felt really let down because I couldn't manage them anally.

    1416488987
    Ikey [sign in to see picture]
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    Very frequently actually, to the point where I stopped visiting here for a few months earlier in the year. It's not lh's fault at all, but as an 'undersized', overweight person, it's quite easy to get down over some of the things you read, even though it shouldn't matter even slightly to me because I'm perfectly sized for my OH.
    But yeah, it's noones fault, just my own constant self negativity.

    1416493244
    Fitnessfreak [sign in to see picture]
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    rose hip wrote:

    I miss feeling confident about myself.

    This isnt good, find things you like about yourself if you can. Not sure how this site could do that unless your looking at pictures of peoples avi but most people would post only good pics good angles etc.

    1416494346
    Cuddlekins [sign in to see picture]
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    Rose Hip you are not alone, reading posts can sometimes have us all feeling bad about ourselves I know I do.

    Hugs for you.

    1416494518
    Fitnessfreak [sign in to see picture]
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    rose hip wrote:

    Thanks Rose and everyone else. I'm alright. The forum is a constant reminder that I'd be a huge disappointment to most of the participants, along with a fair number of the people I've tried to date. (Have been more like a mid-range disappointment to the rest.) Really don't want to be the subject of a 'how to I get this woman to do this, she's ok but the sex could use some spice' thread.

    I'm used to that, it's been a long time since much got a look in here besides kink. But it feels like it's everywhere I look any more, like the promotions and the testers list. Not LH's fault. They're a for-profit company and BDSM is where the money is. I'm still not used to lacking confidence in myself sexually though, that's only developed in the last while. Now I'm wondering what all of the ex-partners who decided they could do better weren't telling me. I know two felt really let down because I couldn't manage them anally.

    Sorry I missed this post :( didnt see a page 2

    1416494708
    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
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    Rose hip for those two guys to say they where disappointed because you couldn't do anal tells me they are complete and utter douche bags and you are better off without them.
    I do anal, not very often.... Usually I have to be drunk. But sometimes I can cope with it and other times I cant. If my husband dared to tell me he was disappoi te din my sexual proformance he would never get to touch me agin.
    Also please remember this is the internet.... Don't believe everything you read on hear. I often think some people make up there sexual accomplishments and levels of experience on this forum just to get a reaction. X x x

    1416495107
    Fitnessfreak [sign in to see picture]
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    blonde vixen13 wrote:

    Rose hip for those two guys to say they where disappointed because you couldn't do anal tells me they are complete and utter douche bags and you are better off without them.
    I do anal, not very often.... Usually I have to be drunk. But sometimes I can cope with it and other times I cant. If my husband dared to tell me he was disappoi te din my sexual proformance he would never get to touch me agin.
    Also please remember this is the internet.... Don't believe everything you read on hear. I often think some people make up there sexual accomplishments and levels of experience on this forum just to get a reaction. X x x

    I also think peole using this forum wouldnt be average joe as such, I would expect the uses here are way more kinky than the average population or I would beleive.

    Like blonde said them commenting after you have finished on sexual disappointment is more a dig than a actual reason, people get nasty when they break up try not let it affect you, your find the right person then it will make sense and your see the ex's for who they were a waste :)

    1416495223
    Ikey [sign in to see picture]
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    blonde vixen13 wrote:

    Don't believe everything you read on hear. I often think some people make up there sexual accomplishments and levels of experience on this forum just to get a reaction. X x x

    Without a doubt! It definitely seems that way. I try not to believe everything I read here, if I did then I'd think every man on the planet was over 7 inches lol. Although even thinking that, it's still fairly hard to not get down over some of the things you read, even if you think it's bull plop.

    1416495915
    LibraLover [sign in to see picture]
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    There are guys who expect you to even try anal? Please don't let men like that get you down! Or anything on here! I hope you start feeling better x

    1416496039
    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
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    And also ..... Most of the people I know who know that I ise lovehoney are shocked as they all have very vanillia sex life's and would never discuss there sex life's.
    So the majority of the people on her will be the opposite side of the coin..... They are the out going , up for anything type people who often enjoy taking things to the extreme.
    So please don't think everyone in the world is up to what you read on here! If you talked to your friends you would probably find you are more adventurous than they are

    1416496039
    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
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    And also ..... Most of the people I know who know that I ise lovehoney are shocked as they all have very vanillia sex life's and would never discuss there sex life's.
    So the majority of the people on her will be the opposite side of the coin..... They are the out going , up for anything type people who often enjoy taking things to the extreme.
    So please don't think everyone in the world is up to what you read on here! If you talked to your friends you would probably find you are more adventurous than they are

    1416496671
    Kittyondrugz [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh,honey.. Everyone has different preferences in bed,you shouldn't feel down about it..You'll find someone that matches your taste and that will be satisfied with what you can give him,I truly believe that. I know the pressure of the media and websites to be ''open'' in bed can be too much.Hope you feel better! xx

    1416498149
    delilahxx [sign in to see picture]
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    Kittyondrugz wrote:

    Oh,honey.. Everyone has different preferences in bed,you shouldn't feel down about it..You'll find someone that matches your taste and that will be satisfied with what you can give him,I truly believe that. I know the pressure of the media and websites to be ''open'' in bed can be too much.Hope you feel better! xx

    I believe this too. Hugs for you rosehip xx

    1416498891
    VirginAngel [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm so sorry guys have been so horrible to you about sexual performances or preferences. My first relationship, which was long distance but serious enough to be engaged, ended over sexual stuff.

    I used to believe i was asexual, for the first year of the relationship sex or the body parts between the hips and knees were never mentioned. One day he changed and he only wanted to talk if we were sex roleplaying. Other than "Hi" then "How are you?" everything was about his sexual pleasure, i couldn't even mention something simple as wanting a hug or to hold his hand without his first reaction being to say he would grab, play or suck my breasts in response, despite knowing i have confidence and image issues with them and hating them being touched or looked at naked. He wanted to do things i wasn't comfortable with, like random blow jobs or sex in alleys or cinemas, or up aginst his parents bedroom door at night. He expected me to think up a new way to sexually pleasure him every single day, he treated me like a sex object, to the point he sulked when my mum died. He was completely silent and wouldn'ttalk to me other than to repeatedly say "I don't know what to say to you" every half our to an hour. He wasn't remotely supportive, because he couldn't talk about how i would give him oral that day or have him insist on roleplaying dominating him he didn't have a single thing to say to me. The only reason i didn't leave him even before all that started (he was emotionally abusive from 3 months in) was because i was ashamed how he treated me and didn't want to admit it to all the people I'd hyped him up to, i believed his abuse that i was useless, worthless, stupid and a burden that i should think myself lucky he'd even be with me because nobody else would. I felt dirty, violated and used, and because he was selfish and refused to work seeing eachother in person wasn't ever possible because i couldn't afford it on my own, and I'm so glad because i cringed and panicked at the thought of him physically touching me, the thought made me sick and my skin crawl. It took him asking me to have sex on my sofa in the same room as my sister, and threatening me twice 2 days apart of ignoring my refusal of anal sex and tying me up to anally rape me because "I wouldn't be in a position to say no" and finding out he had sexually assaulted a girl in his early teens (forced her into oral despite her repeatedly saying no) to be so scared of him raping me i'd rather be alone for life (a big fear of mine) than be with him.

    Happy ending, 5 months later out the blue i met the most amazing, loving, perfect man who puts me first, supports me emotionally, is patient and understanding and couldn't care less about sex, in fact he's so shy i'm the one wanting to get my hands on him! He's the only man I've ever sexually desired or felt comfortable with the idea of being with in a sexual way, and we both respect eachother and individual feelings, we'd happily forego any activity if it isn't mutually wanted without there being any disappointment or grudge, in fact if it isn't mutually wanted we stop being interested in it ourselves because our partners feelings and desires are more important to us than our own.

    I'm confident you can and will find the person who is perfect for you too, who will always respect and accept your decisions and cherish you and all the things you both enjoy and not give a hoot to what you can't or won't do. You deserve respect, understanding and appreciation, if he isn't satisfied with what you can and will do, he doesn't deserve you, your time or your feelings, and isn't worth thinking about or feeling bad/inadequate over.

    1416500121
    Briona87 [sign in to see picture]
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    Is it necessary to measure the level of "adequateness" by being either adventurous and kinky, or vanilla and romantic, calling the former two "cool" and the latter two "dull"? I hope not.. Different people are bound to have very varied tastes, and their preferences are also likely to change over time (that might depend on the level of trust within a relationship but also on very mundane things like current stress-level, tiredness or mood).

    I do, however, feel kind of... well, lonely and perhaps a bit envious when I read about other people's relationships, about their plans to surprise their OHs (and I am not just talking about sex), or even about simple things like cooking a dinner for their partners or going to a concert with them. I have never had a date and reading (or hearing) about other people's love lifes has always been rather difficult for me. This is a topic one can hardly avoid wherever and whenever one goes, though, nothing that would be unique to the LH forums.

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    DreamOfTheEndless [sign in to see picture]
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    Never. I think if it did, honestly, I'd stop perusing them.

    They do make me feel jealous sometimes, but only in a 'grass is always greener' kind of way when I hear of some people's astounding sexual escapades here. But that doesn't last any longer than the next session with the wife.

    I think Terry Pratchett was talking about me.

    “He'd noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery: it fascinated people, they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipes and interesting pictures, and sometimes when they were really hungry they created vast banquets in their imagination - but at the end of the day they'd settle quite happily for egg and chips. If it was well done and maybe had a slice of tomato.”

    :)

    1416519059
    Briona87 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think Terry Pratchett was talking about me.“He'd noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery: it fascinated people, they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipes and interesting pictures, and sometimes when they were really hungry they created vast banquets in their imagination - but at the end of the day they'd settle quite happily for egg and chips. If it was well done and maybe had a slice of tomato.”

    :)

    And even though the late Mr. Joshua Lavish, once Chairman of the Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork , had filled an entire wardrobe with leathery things, rubbery things and jiggly things (presumably a merchandise sold in a store owned by Mr. Scrope, a President of the Guild of Shoemakers and Leatherworkers - because the independent Guild of Makers of... Leathery, Jiggly and Rubbery Things has not yet been established in the ancient city of A-M), Mr. Moist Von Lipwig and Miss Adora Belle Dearheart were kind of shocked when they came across said wardrobe... Each to their own. Mr. Fusspot, a dog (and a current Chairman of the aforementioned bank), however, adopted one of the... rubbery items as his new favourite toy, opting to carry it anywhere and everywhere - to the horror of some and amusement of others.

    (Just a bit more Discorld (the novel called "Making Money" to be precise) to brighten the mood slightly... even though I understand that overcoming loneliness, or feelings of inadequacy or frustration is something thak, sadly enough, takes time...)

    1416908113
    Finger lickin fun [sign in to see picture]
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    My oh felt inadequate because we bought a huge vibe and he was amazed that I got the whole thing in . He thought that he was too small to satisfy me . He's not small at all but he was comparing himself to the toy . Took me ages to convince him that the toy is just a novelty and part if its purpose is to open me up totally so that he can enjoy the view ! He's fine with it now but it was a dodgy moment !

    1416908948
    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Ikey wrote:

    blonde vixen13 wrote:

    Don't believe everything you read on hear. I often think some people make up there sexual accomplishments and levels of experience on this forum just to get a reaction. X x x

    Without a doubt! It definitely seems that way. I try not to believe everything I read here, if I did then I'd think every man on the planet was over 7 inches lol. Although even thinking that, it's still fairly hard to not get down over some of the things you read, even if you think it's bull plop.

    The newbie initiation test is funny, like there was a bar stuck at 6 inch and no one is allowed to go bellow it, even though average is 5.5 inch

    1416913902
    Finger lickin fun [sign in to see picture]
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    I think you're right . Some people are almost acting out their fantasies on here so take it all with a pinch of salt ! Having said that I've had some really helpful advice from some so use it to your advantage . Don't feel inadequate . We're all individuals . I'm no super model but I've realised that were all sexy . It's a state of mind !

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