• Relationship good :) sex bad! ... What to do ?!?

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    .•*misstaylor*•. [sign in to see picture]
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    Me and my partner have a great relationship like best friends kind of thing , and sex was amazing to begin with !! 7 times a day sometimes for about 6 month .. But now he never wants anything unless I'm giving him oral and I'm always asking him for it and dressing up bit it doesn't seem the same now :(.... shall I stay or should I go ???

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    Stuburns [sign in to see picture]
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    He's probably knackered. 7 times a day for 6 months. Where did you find time to do anything else?
    Think a relationship is built on foundations other than sex. It is important but have you asked him why? Plus the pace of every relationship settles after a while.

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    .•*misstaylor*•. [sign in to see picture]
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    Lol no seven times EVERYDAY !but nearly all the time ,you're totally right maybe I should stop been so obsessed with the sex and concentrate on spending some time together doing diferent things like going for a nice meal , tbh I think I'm addicted to sex !

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    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    We were the same, it's exciting at first, then other things become more important, now we have sex a couple of times a week, because we both are busy all day then just want to spend time together and are too tired for sex, the sex isn't bad is it, just not as often, enjoy other things together. Also, if he's working hard, look after him, think how much you'd appreciate him running you a bath after a long day, the moe you relax him the more energy he'll have for sex

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    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Although, the fact that you're considering leaving because you don't get as much sexy makes me think perhaps the relationship isn't that good, sex should never be the be all and end all of a relationship

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    Fitnessfreak [sign in to see picture]
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    7 times day? jeez thats a lot how often do you do it now? I'm happy every 3-4 days but somepeople are a lot less or more depends on life/kids etc all depends but you need to be happy.

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    Anonymous Lady [sign in to see picture]
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    Whenever I'm not getting any, I reach for my toys. And anyway, I don't think relationships should be defined by sex only. It is an important part, but I find that even more important is that he's there for me whenever I need him.

    My advice would be - stop giving him oral (unless he gives back!). Make him want you by distancing yourself a bit. I've found that If you act "cold" towards them, that can usually make them want you more. Everyone gets stuck in the rut sometimes, but that doesn't mean the romance couldn't be reawakened :)

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    Morthius [sign in to see picture]
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    Even sex can get routine if you do it everyday and almost in the same way. I like the saying that "foreplay starts when the sex ends" that way you can perhaps be happy even if theres not sex all the time. Teasing can be just as fun and theres no ingredient as good as anticipation when it comes to good sex. Men are hunters, let him hunt the sex every once in a while.

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    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Anonymous Lady wrote:

    Whenever I'm not getting any, I reach for my toys. And anyway, I don't think relationships should be defined by sex only. It is an important part, but I find that even more important is that he's there for me whenever I need him.

    My advice would be - stop giving him oral (unless he gives back!). Make him want you by distancing yourself a bit. I've found that If you act "cold" towards them, that can usually make them want you more. Everyone gets stuck in the rut sometimes, but that doesn't mean the romance couldn't be reawakened :)

    I wouldn't recommend acting cold towards him to make him make an effort, that's like teenage girls refusing to text their crush first to make him text you first, he'll just think you're not bothered anymore and start texting someone else. Just make an effort to make him feel special than expecting sex, do what you think you'd appreciate and he'll start returning the favour

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    .•*misstaylor*•. [sign in to see picture]
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    Treat him mean keep him keen ;) x

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    Anonymous Lady [sign in to see picture]
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    Young and fun95 wrote:

    Anonymous Lady wrote:

    Whenever I'm not getting any, I reach for my toys. And anyway, I don't think relationships should be defined by sex only. It is an important part, but I find that even more important is that he's there for me whenever I need him.

    My advice would be - stop giving him oral (unless he gives back!). Make him want you by distancing yourself a bit. I've found that If you act "cold" towards them, that can usually make them want you more. Everyone gets stuck in the rut sometimes, but that doesn't mean the romance couldn't be reawakened :)

    I wouldn't recommend acting cold towards him to make him make an effort, that's like teenage girls refusing to text their crush first to make him text you first, he'll just think you're not bothered anymore and start texting someone else. Just make an effort to make him feel special than expecting sex, do what you think you'd appreciate and he'll start returning the favour

    I just think she shouldn't be the only one trying. A relashionship is a two-person job.

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    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Asking for sex isn't trying, it's wanting, by treating someone right you show them they're apreciated and they return that, if he feels like you're not doing anything together he'll feel distant and have a lower sex drive.

    If you never went out for a meal and he didn't show affection or care except for wanting sex how would you feel in your relationship. Sometimes one person has to take the initiative to change and make more effort in the hope the other will follow suit

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    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
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    Young and fun95 wrote:

    Asking for sex isn't trying, it's wanting, by treating someone right you show them they're apreciated and they return that, if he feels like you're not doing anything together he'll feel distant and have a lower sex drive.

    If you never went out for a meal and he didn't show affection or care except for wanting sex how would you feel in your relationship. Sometimes one person has to take the initiative to change and make more effort in the hope the other will follow suit

    top advice. x

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    wickedkitten [sign in to see picture]
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    Are you two of you able to talk openly about what you want sexually out of the relationship?

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    littlemisspocket [sign in to see picture]
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    My OH and I have been together for almost 9 months and we still only really have sex once or twice a week, sometimes less depending on how tiring work was/if he stays home one weekend/if I'm on Shark Week etc
    We don't live together yet so I generally only see him (with proper chances for sex) at the weekends. He's also had a lot of confidence issues so we've been taking it slow.

    To be honest not having sex all the time (especially in a new relationship) has made us appreciate each other so much more and it makes any sexual activity feel a lot more special and connected :)

    It can feel kind of shit when it feels like you're partner isn't interested but he's probably just tired after 7 days a week for 6 months! If you're feeling frustrated you can always use toys :) try not to take it personally, every relationship slows down a bit on the sexual side but that just means you get to enjoy the other aspects of your relationship a bit more now.

    Pretty much echoing what everyone else has said here, if you make him feel like you want and appreciate him OUTSIDE of the bedroom I'm sure he'll feel a bit more inclined to be intimate :) showing you care about him in a non-sexual way can make a big difference

    Good luck!

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    .•*misstaylor*•. [sign in to see picture]
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    Aaw thanks everyone . Great advise taking it on bored :) xx

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    littlemisspocket [sign in to see picture]
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    I hope some of it helps! :) Nice new pic btw

    Young and fun95 wrote:

    Asking for sex isn't trying, it's wanting, by treating someone right you show them they're apreciated and they return that, if he feels like you're not doing anything together he'll feel distant and have a lower sex drive.

    If you never went out for a meal and he didn't show affection or care except for wanting sex how would you feel in your relationship. Sometimes one person has to take the initiative to change and make more effort in the hope the other will follow suit

    Very well said!

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