• Power exchange and racial respect.

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    Briona87 [sign in to see picture]
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    There have been many, many forms of racism over the course of the human history, and not only those that are "easy" to see, like the "white against black", "black against white" matters. In the 19th century, many thinkers and (would-be) anthropologists "divided" Europe into parts that were home to "higher races", or to "lesser races" according to numerous factors, ranging from "usual" shapes of skulls (not to mention that the "science" of frenology thought it could figure out people's traits or intelligence levels from the shapes of the bumps on their skulls) of people who lived in this or that area, to geology-related issues (people who lived in areas where these or those minerals predominated were "less advanced/intelligent/human" than those who lived in other areas - sounds ridiculous, yet loads of people, including Karl Marx, actually believed it was true). In the 19th century, the Nazis "granted" the status of "Aryans" to those who joined them (though one can assume that should they have finished off their "primary" enemies, they would have turned against those "quasi-Aryans" too) - that meant, for example, that some nations who lived in the Baltic countries were deemed "acceptably superior", that Slovaks were seen as "Aryans", while Czechs and Polish were declared to be "second rate" people who were only suitable for unqualified, manual labour. Within other "races", racism and genocide exist, too, of course; the Japanese tried to enslave "less human" Chinese before and during the WW2, and quite recentely, just twenty years ago, the Hutu majority in Rwanda went on to massacre the Tutsi minority...

    And slavery? There have been many forms of it, too. Even in the cases where people don't actually refer to a certain form of oppression as "slavery". There were slaves in ancient empires, in the middle ages, as well as in the modern days. Just an example of this issue where race didn't play any part - once the Bolsheviks had taken hold of the old Tzarist Russia, they decided they had to show to the world that they are just as modern and splendid as the rest of ol' Europe. They didn't think that promoting the general welfare and educational level of the average Russian peasant would be impressive enough, though, assuming that building of mahoosive constructions like dams and "palaces for good socialist people" would be far more impressive. In the early 1930s, Stalin ordered the building of a canal that would connect the Baltic Sea and the White sea. Tens of thousands of people who were deemed "politically unreliable" were taken from their homes and sent to the area (in that area, there were many small, impoverished villages, populated by traditionalist, devout Orthodox people - all of those little houses were destroyed and the people were also sent to build the canal), engineers and architects who were to supervise the work were also dragged from their homes by force (some of them got asked something like: "Comrade, are you a good communist?" Sometimes the man just answered: "Well, I don't read newspapers very much, and I am not really politically minded, I just try to do my job well." And that was enough ground for arrest, however unlikely it may seem.) More than a hundred of thousands of people were forced to build the canal with the most primitive tools, and between 10,000 and 25,000 of them died while doing so... Is that not an extreme case of slavery? I think it is. Yet there is hardly any major racial issue involved...

    To make the long story short, there have been many cases of slavery, racism and discrimination where people didn't seem to have many chances to live their own lives, or to be treated with respect. When you think of it, absolutely ANYONE can find a perfectly valid reason not to be comfortable the notions of slavery and mistreatment, regardless of their race, nationality, religion, or political affiliation. If you care for your partner, respecting their opinions, and considering them equals in day-to-day life, you surely know them well enough to be able to sit down with them and to discuss what each of you wants to experience in the bedroom, it doesn't matter whether you are white or black, French, Chinese or Norweigan...

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    [suspended user]

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    MrsMcX wrote:

    (...)

    The fact that you and your partner have a problem with the word slave is also reinforcing racism as far as I'm concerned. The meaning of the word slave is (noun) a person who is the legal property of another and is forced to obey them, or (verb) work excessively hard. Not once is the persons race brought into the meaning of the word race.

    Slaves can come in all shapes, sizes, sexes and colours, and while I understand that the history of black slavery is very important to our modern day society in reinstating that it was wrong and everyone is equal, I personally think the longer people refuse to say the word slave around a black person, the longer there is going to be a problem with making everyone on this planet equal.

    (...)

    Personally, I think avoiding the word just contributes to the problems that people have with people's race.

    I totally agree with you.

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    Bossy [sign in to see picture]
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    IMHO if your partner doesn't like a word in the bedroom then don't use it. It's not as if the BDSM police are going to arrest you for incorrect terminology! I've heard the problem with the word 'slave' from black friends before - its a cultural thing and I think you just have to accept that's how she feels. You could say 'Dom/sub' or 'Top/Bottom' or make up your own terms. But as others have said, the real issue might be that she is simply not a submissive. I know I'd absolutely hate it (well not so much hate, as find myself writing shopping lists in my head through utter boredom).

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