• Can fat people be attractive? (I'm a fat person)

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    Princess topaz [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi

    reading your post formed a lump in my throut, I can relate to what you have been through in your past and how it effects you later on in life. I use to be slim size 8/10 but after having 5 kids and many health issues at my biggest I was a size 18.

    My hubby has said he loves me no matter what size I am but to me I can't see that as he fell in love with the skinny me. I have started to lose weight and now in a size 14, I'm still not happy with myself and a lot of it is to do with confidence (which I lack). My sister arranged a photo shoot to help build on this and show me I can be sexy and beautiful. I was so scared and embarresed but I soon got into it and the pictures turned out lovely (as you can see from my profile pic). So no matter what size you are YES you are sexy and attractive, it's just confidence that stops you believing it. Getting help for your depression must be the first step to brighter future.

    Your partner loves you for you, not what size you are.

    I really wish you well you so deserve to be happy, sending love and prayers to help x

    1412316700
    VirginAngel [sign in to see picture]
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    It's a bit of a misconception that fruit and fruit juice is healthy. The average fruit juice has about 125 pure sugar calories per 250ml, it's actually one of the worst things you can drink, so many people count food colories but don't add on the calories for what they drink. Because of the sugars it's also much healthier and aids weight loss better to stick to vegetables rather than fruits.

    It really would help your weight loss attempt to learn to cook even a few simple meals. Ready meals may claim to be low calorie but the calories they do have are often quite empty nutrition wise. It's all the preservatives they have to put in them to give them a shelf life, additives in general aren't so good for your health.

    I understand the weight struggles, pcos causes me to be pre diabetic, i process sugar ok, but i hold on to calories and turnthem into fat more efficiently and am less efficient at burning fat for energy, and my anaemia doesn't help. My ocd means i have severe phobias of excercise and physical movement. I've been so desperate at times that i've gone the ED route a few times before, but i'm trying now to stick to salads, whole grain or whole weat versions of rice and pastas and lean proteins like quorn. I like white meat and lean red meat but theres just so much less fat in meat substitutes. They are so much easier to cook too, they come fresh or frozen and there's no risk of getting ill from incorrect or under cooking. Throw it in a pan, not really any need for oil, and stir it around fot about 15 minutes, and you can put it with pretty much anything.

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    rogerthechorister [sign in to see picture]
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    1. If you are consuming 1400 cals/day you wil not lose weight with any degree of rapidity. Beware of uncounted calories (and alcohol).

    2. Do you want to be softig or magnificent? The latter will require excercise indeed possibly body building regime - and genetic inheritance.

    3. Compare Afrikan women with Europeans. Look as the Williams sisters (tennis players) - powerful with large high tight arses. Now thing of large previous white female tennis players - say Betty Stove. Fine player, but different shape - and even a differnt way of using her arms when she served.

    4. We all differ. It may be better to aspire to what you can do to what you can't.

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    MattB [sign in to see picture]
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    Not losing weight rapidly is a good thing...

    Much better to have gradual weight loss over a long period than rapid over a short one, as in the latter case you'll almost certainly put some or all of it back on again. Think lifestyle change, not short-term 'diet'.

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    VirginAngel [sign in to see picture]
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    Incase you weren't aware, the 2000 calorie required intake to maintain without gaining or losing is an estimate. How many calories a specific woman needs is subjective, some women actually only need around 1500, sometimes even less. If you're struggling to lose despuite cutting to 1400, it may be 1400 is actually not a deficit for you, but more or less your maintaining number, and you may need to cut a few more.

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    naughty stacey [sign in to see picture]
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    Re: OP

    Pretty much agree with all that is being said. People are jerks and will use every weapon to make you feel bad and if you are fat they will try that one. If it works they will use it again and again.

    Re: Calories

    Eating does not equal calories, that is like saying that breathing equals air. Breathing while jogging by a highway is not equal to smelling a flower in the wilderness.

    Food equals information, and the body does crazy and complicated things with the messages it receives from your food. Fats such as butter are a very accessible source of energy for your body and does not make you fat, the cream of milk contains enzymes that helps your body breakdown fats. Everything you have been told by mainstream media is wrong.

    I use and recommend the following source of information.

    https://www.bulletproofexec.com/

    1413481906
    Quiet ones are worse! [sign in to see picture]
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    When I met my wife she was a 18, few years on 24, when we got married she lost loads of weight and got down to a size 10, she did really well, but did not look healthy, now she's back to 18 life and two kids, but I still feel the same for her doesn't matter skinny or not, if you're interested she lost the weight by six days a week for two and a half years at the gym.

    Stuff everyone else, we're all different, and the reason that there's only size 10's left in the shops is that all the "normal sized" people have bought the rest so no 16-20 or so left, I'm sure others will associate with that.

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    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    I was a size 16 when I met my OH but over the years and 3 kids later I put on quite alot of weight. I didn't feel attractive like that and through diet and huge amounts of exercise I have managed to get back to a 16 again.
    I did it fairly slowly and hope to keep it off and now I feel alot sexier.
    When I was fatter I still felt like having sex but didn't feel ’ sexy ’ Now I'm happier with my body and I do feel sexy.
    People find all sorts of body shapes attractive, personally I like a man with a little bit of meat on him! I think confidence plays a big part in feeling sexy and if you feel attractive that shows through to other people whatever your size.

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    Briona87 [sign in to see picture]
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    Quiet ones are worse! wrote:

    When I met my wife she was a 18, few years on 24, when we got married she lost loads of weight and got down to a size 10, she did really well, but did not look healthy, now she's back to 18 life and two kids, but I still feel the same for her doesn't matter skinny or not, if you're interested she lost the weight by six days a week for two and a half years at the gym.

    Stuff everyone else, we're all different, and the reason that there's only size 10's left in the shops is that all the "normal sized" people have bought the rest so no 16-20 or so left, I'm sure others will associate with that.

    I am glad someone has mentioned the bit that losing lots of weight might not make everyone feel or look exactly healthy, even though most people think that slim equals strong and healthy...

    I actually went down from 300 pounds to 158 at one point (manic excercising, virtually no food but small amounts vegetables and low fat cheese); I have a very... erm... robust skeleton which meant I looked 130 pounds at most (thick thighs - I can never get rid of these - stick thin arms, shoulders, virtually no boobs, protruding ribcage, loose belly skin, greenish face), my period stopped for almost a year, I kept on fainting and was actually advised to put some weight on, however unlikely that may sound. I cried buckets - in the beginning (when I weighed in at 300 pounds) I had hoped that should I manage to lose weight, I would look just like all the other pretty, slim girls, I actually tortured myself with starving, walking dozens of kilometers a day (when I was nearing the 158 pounds mark, I was so weak that walking was the only physical activity I could still do, so I walked 40, 50 kilometers a day)... and the result? I was still disgusting (flabby skin, stretch marks). Naturally, when putting weight back on, I overshot the target and ended up being about 220 pounds. Since then, I have been trying to take things slowly; I excercise every day, I try to eat (mostly) healthy stuff and I am about 185-190 pounds. I am physically strong, have great blood pressure, heart rate and everything, yet I constantly hear that I should lose more weight (it's kind of funny that no doctor tells me this, though), that I am not attractive (well, I know that I am not, it's just not very nice to hear other people reminding me of that all the time) - everyone apparently knows what exactly should other people do to lose weight, and are sooo willing to share this grand piece of knowledge.

    Slim didn't equal healthy for me, I am much stronger (I ran a half-marathon last month and I can easily do 100 kilometers of biking any day, without feeling particularly knackered afterwards) and healthier now, yet I know that I am never going to be "attractive", not in the usual sense, anyway. Ah well, not everything in this world is bound to feel fair and nice, I guess..

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    kev&millie [sign in to see picture]
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    I always been insecure as a 'big girl' I find it hard to look at myself and find myself attractive, but my hubby always tells me I'm
    Beautiful and sexy and he loves me just the way I am. He loves me being curvy.

    The more he tells me the more I feel confident and sexy. So I guess the answer to your question is Yes fat people can be and are atteactive x

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    Queen_Kauket [sign in to see picture]
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    Not a problem at all. I am five foot ten and about 200 - 220lbs. 40E bra size so I am very curvy. My partner is adorable and I love him. He makes me feel like the Queen that I am. So it really is a personal preference. Some will find it a lovely size and some will not.

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    JM88 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think anyone can be attractive regradless of their size. I personally think that in most cases its how the individual views themselves that affects how attractive they perceive others to think of them as. If someone thinks they are fat and ugly then they probably dont notice any positive attention they do get.

    I dont think you should let weight/size be a factor in how you feel about yourself but thats easier said than done! When i was a teen i was quite big, around size 16 and i hated it. I always envied the skinny girls and began obsessing over it to the point where i was skipping meals and excersising in secret to try and lose weight. Eventually i managed to fit into size 8 jeans. After then i gradually put on weight and now im about a 12.

    The thing is some days i feel really fat and negative and i wish i looked like how i did in old photos where i was a tonedish size 10 but then back then i still wasnt happy!

    Its hard to explain but i have never been happy "in the moment" with my size and always wanted to be smaller. Its only looking back that i realise how i actually looked. Im sure in a few years i will look at how i am now and wish i still looked like it even though now there are days that i cant bear to look at myself!

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    Skitty [sign in to see picture]
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    JM88 wrote:

    I think anyone can be attractive regradless of their size. I personally think that in most cases its how the individual views themselves that affects how attractive they perceive others to think of them as. If someone thinks they are fat and ugly then they probably dont notice any positive attention they do get.

    I agree with this completely. I think being attractive is all about being confident and accepting how you look.

    -

    It's only quite recently that I've tried to have a more positive attitude about how I look, and generally I feel much better about myself. Instead of trying to squeeze into a size 12, I'm now comfortable to buy a size 16 that will actually fit me and not see it as 'losing'.

    Even though technically I'm a size 16, I'm determined that I'm not going to start seeing myself in a certain light because it's a 'plus size'. Sometimes I'd like to be a smaller size just to be able to have more choice in clothing, but in general I'm very happy with my body, and am starting to understand that just because I'm a size 16, that doesn't mean that I'm fat or unattractive, I just have a different shape that fits the measurements of that particular size better.

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    kinky wife [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time and so what your carrying a few extra pounds work on feeling happy on the inside (I no its harder then just that but talk to doctor or councillor or family) and it will come though on the outside it doesn't matter what size anyone is everyone is beautiful woman or man I hope you you find happiness x

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    innocent-fun [sign in to see picture]
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    Of course larger people can be attractive, and your partner is not lying to you when he says he finds you attractive. I understand it may be hard for you to believe, probably a lot to do with your past, but do try to have faith in what he says. A lot of sexiness comes down to confidence, put on a front and believe that you are sexy and show it, you will see people look at you differently which in turn will make you genuinely feel sexier. Many people in society don't like to stand out and just fade in, looking like everyone else, make the decision to be different, to be yourself and proud of it, no matter what shape or size you are, you can still look good.

    I hope you can get over your past, it has a massive effect on our lives.

    You should consider cooking classes, ready meals are not healthy, no matter how they try to disguise it. They are full of preservatives. Start with simple meals. Go out for a walk, I know you said its difficult, but maybe go out with your partner, the fresh air will make you feel better too.

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    Scubaman [sign in to see picture]
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    My opinion for what it's worth is beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My wife of 18yrs has put some weight on over the years after three children and reaching 51, she's not the same person I married size wise, she's gone from a size 12 to size 16. But the point I'm trying to make is she's the most sexiest women I know, she's full of life,we have a great sex life and we even still go out on what we call dates, she makes the most of what she has got and still turns heads, make the most of what you have got, be yourself and be happy, if your OH says he finds you sexy and attractive then take those complements and remember them when some shallow half wit make a hurtful comment. My wife always says to me, anyone else's thoughts or comments about her don't matter because they don't matter

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    Moonlite82 [sign in to see picture]
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    I can totally sympathise with you hunni. I am a big girl (size18). I feel gross a lot of the time. I have gained a lot of weight due to having 2 kids. I used to be a healthy size 12. I'm currently taking steroids which I had to take during my last pregnancy. Soon or be off them though but they have made me gain a ton of weight. I'm the heaviest I've ever been and struggling to deal with it. Once I off the meds I'm joining slimming world and starting exersise again. Hoping to lose about 3 stone ish.

    However saying all this I still feel like a sexy size 12 inside and don't let my size interfere with my sexy life. Me and my partner are new to all this and are just getting into toys, bondage etc. he says he still fancies me and we still have an amazing sex life despite having a 10 month old baby. I just want to lose weight for myself.

    Big girls in my opinion can often be more sexy than skinnier girls. It's almost like we have something to prove lol. Don't get me wrong I would love to be a size 8 and have my partner throw me around the bedroom but hey life isn't like that. I think if you feel sexy inside then it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside.

    Xxxxxx

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    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Just to jump into the calorie conversation. No woman should consume less than 1400 calories no matter age or weight. That is the pure minimum

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    mr sp [sign in to see picture]
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    Give me a woman with curves any day. Mmmmmmmmmmm !

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    mr sp [sign in to see picture]
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    Moonlite82 wrote:

    I can totally sympathise with you hunni. I am a big girl (size18). I feel gross a lot of the time. I have gained a lot of weight due to having 2 kids. I used to be a healthy size 12. I'm currently taking steroids which I had to take during my last pregnancy. Soon or be off them though but they have made me gain a ton of weight. I'm the heaviest I've ever been and struggling to deal with it. Once I off the meds I'm joining slimming world and starting exersise again. Hoping to lose about 3 stone ish.

    However saying all this I still feel like a sexy size 12 inside and don't let my size interfere with my sexy life. Me and my partner are new to all this and are just getting into toys, bondage etc. he says he still fancies me and we still have an amazing sex life despite having a 10 month old baby. I just want to lose weight for myself.

    Big girls in my opinion can often be more sexy than skinnier girls. It's almost like we have something to prove lol. Don't get me wrong I would love to be a size 8 and have my partner throw me around the bedroom but hey life isn't like that. I think if you feel sexy inside then it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside.

    Xxxxxx

    Take it from me..... Bigger girls can look extremely sexy !

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