• Need advice on getting my partner to talk dirty!

    georgiascottson [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi everyone. Me and my husband are into bondage and i'm the submissive one. Although he has been great coming to my side of the fence with regards to Bondage and BDSM, he still hasn't learnt the art of the talk. When you see movies, they use things like counting and refring to the sub as "Good Girl" or using talk to enhance the experience but my husband is pretty much mute!

    I know i shouldn't be ungrateful but it's all part of the package in my eyes so any tips on bringing out his naughty talk???

    BDSM-curious [sign in to see picture]
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    Communication, sorry i think, it's as simple as that. Maybe give him some cards you've written with phrases/words you'd like him to use. I'm sure with enthusiastic noises he will get more confident about using them.

    kitty x

    naughty mum [sign in to see picture]
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    Get him to openly start saying or typing rude/ dirty words....is sexting

    Tbh...posting on this forum has led to me being far more open in my sexual vocabulary.... Some of the off topic threads gets you thinking in a particular fra.e of mind, to find alternative words,or continue in a particular vein....

    DavidB1986 [sign in to see picture]
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    duckandbunny79 [sign in to see picture]
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    Firstly it's hard to tell why he is mute there could be many reasons.

    The first that springs to mind would be that he does not want to sound silly. If he said something he thought was dominant and you giggled then he may retract from playing this out.

    The second though is the exact opposite. He may not want to say something in the heat of the moment that he thinks you may find offensive outside of the sexual activities.

    So I think definately be practical. Being a sub you are going to have to dom up a bit and lead him with what you want. Also don't feel that you can't give him a list of things that you want. ie permitted words or if it's a shorter list, things you don't want to hear.

    I remember the first time I called my wife a dirty fucking bitch during sex and then after the moment passed, thought my god is she going to hate me and feel insulted by that.

    honesty is always the best policy and if he gets it wrong, then just try to pick out the bits that are good and encourage them. I would not say fake it, but nothing wrong with hyping up the bits you like. If it floats your boat, just remember sighs, moans, screams, yelps all add to the experience for him too.

    Becoming a dom when you are not a harsh person at heart does require a little bit of acting and so it could take some time for him to get into character.

    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think you need to learn why he doesn't, rather than trying to convince him to. If he's been thrown out of his comfort zone then he may be nervous and not know what to say. How long have you been experimenting with BDSM? It doesn't all come at once and sometimes you're not gonna get everything you want. I'm very much a sub and love a nasty dom, but my OH isn't like that, just accept it and get off on the little things he does because it's a big deal for him

    S&S [sign in to see picture]
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    I think Naughty Mum is right. The easiest route in could be sexting. With sexting you're not there so he might feel a bit more comfortable and less embarrassed, assuming embarassment is the reason he holds back during sex. He might also be afraid of going too far and putting you off. Sexting is a good way for him to test the waters.

    During sex, I would encourage him to be descriptive; get him to describe what he wants to do and what he wants you to do and to describe what he is enjoying.

    Hopefully that helps. We were never into it before but gradually introduced dirty talk and now its just part of sex for us.

    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
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    Ladies we men can't do 2 things at once . If he is tying you up and flogging ect talking as well.

    Only joking. This is an issue that is usually the other way around. Communication is the key . Try some sexting use the words you'd like him to use. Also lead by example . Give him a nice long HJ talking to him then explain you'd like him to do it for you.

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