• Using porn way too much and obsessing over it, some advice please

    1410125522
    Fried Gold [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 7
    • Joined: 1 Mar 2012

    Ok, in a nutshell, 38, been divorced 2 years , live alone, used porn every few days , job going ok, decent social life, no girlfriend .

    Cut to abbout 8 weeks ago I discover Babestation (I know !!! dont judge!! heh heh) has a more hardcore web only show,so I start watching that instead of my regular favourites Pornhub, Cliphunter, Redtube.

    which is weird as it literally only is girls diddling themselves and shaking phones compared to all out oral, anal, whatever on the other sites , have never rung in though waaaay too shy and not what I want I just like to look.

    I found out that one of the girls on this had started to do slightly harder girl girl stuff, and other soft fetish stuff this both intrigued me but kind of repelled me at the same time, as she doesnt look like she would do that sort of thing. (that sounds so stupid seeing it wriiten down!

    Within a few days of watching this my sleep started to become affected as I was waking up in the middle of the night to check whether she was on one of the many BS channels , was torrenting an absolute shed load of other porn and trying to track down as many scenes of her as I could as well as following her on twitter.

    She basically invaded my every waking moment, I became anxious and withdrawn and stopped eating. kind of feel jealous and envious of her getting to be so sexually free whilst Im wound up like a coiled spring.

    I quickly realised something was wrong so tried to stop the constant checking, it worked to a point, managed to start eating again but the sleep deprivation is still paramamount,

    It feels like a schoolboy crush! I feel like Im projecting my frustrations onto this girl, whenever I see her onscreen I get butterflies! Masturbation kind of feels like a chore now whenever its over her, its fine with regular porn though strangely????

    I know I should just Porn block my computer and stop checking twitter for news on her but it feels difficult and a part of me doesnt want to.

    I realise this is a very trivial matter but its kinda pissing me off, I have joined a dating website to try and shift my attention to REAL WOMEN and that is working to an extent, no dates yet but good fun looking.

    I know I have all the answers in front of me but just needed to vent it all out there as its kind of too embarassing to share with friends

    Any thoughts, tips or advice thankfully received

    Cheers

    1410162142
    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2825
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2014

    Sounds like it sucks, you need to block out all porn and start going out to meet women, just talk to any woman you can on a night out, the non intimidating ones, delete her off twitter and everytime she comes into your head think of someone else, someone you met last weekend. You'll get past it eventually but I know how frustrating it is when you're desperate to know what someone's doing constantly.

    1410165517
    PlumCake [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 140
    • Joined: 21 May 2012

    Perhaps you could talk to a psychologist and try and get to the root of why this is happening? Our behaviours are usually triggered by something that's unbalancing us deep down - talking to someone might help you work out why your emotions are so intense and your life has been disrupted.

    I wouldn't worry - people develop obsessions and infatuations and get past them all the time. If it was me (or my partner/friend) I'd say there's no harm in talking to someone who knows their stuff when it comes to this kind of thing.

    1410167636
    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1576
    • Joined: 11 May 2013

    Hi thought I'd put my thoughts in, those who know me know I've got the biggest thing going for the New Doctor. How I manage mine I'm already married Yes ok no sex life due to hubbys meds health ect so this my release. But I still have to run a home if you are worried block the porn Get out and watch other things I may be mad on PC but I still love my other dvds. Good luck.

    1410169301

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3042
    • Joined: 25 Apr 2013

    I can't really give you better advice then what's already been given. I 100% agree you should just block all porn out of your life and try to talk to women more.

    Good luck!

    1410176056
    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3809
    • Joined: 17 Jul 2013

    Sounds like you already know deep down what you need to do. It's not that unusual to develope a little bit of an obsession like this and you shouldn't feel too bad about it but you obviously feel that it is becoming a problem so the best solution would be as everyone else says, to block out the porn and concentrate on trying to meet women in real life.

    It probably won't be easy because it's become a habit and habits are hard to break but if you want to do it badly enough you will and it will free you up to start enjoying other areas of your life.

    Good luck :)

    1410180498

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2014

    Find a good woman with the same values as yourself,im sure there is one out there for you,good luck.

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.