• Sex drive

    1408701452
    Fitnessfreak [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 366
    • Joined: 19 Dec 2011

    My sex drive is through the roof the last few weeks my wifes isnt as high as mine and I dont like putting pressure on her anyone else have these issues? I dont massturbate much at all as its not the same I like the closeness.

    Today all I can think about is sex scenieros in my head not very good while at work!!

    1408702197
    pink69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 46
    • Joined: 24 Aug 2009

    from a womans point of view, respect to you for not pushing your wife into sex if shes not in the mood . also I find when i have days that sex is all i can think about i need to have some solo play just so my head can focus on normal day to day stuff , i know its not the same but it just releases some of those raging sexy hormones .

    Although i bet having a wank at work would be a turn on , as it has that excitement of getting caught , so probably won't help you .

    1408702523
    Fitnessfreak [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 366
    • Joined: 19 Dec 2011

    pink69 wrote:

    from a womans point of view, respect to you for not pushing your wife into sex if shes not in the mood . also I find when i have days that sex is all i can think about i need to have some solo play just so my head can focus on normal day to day stuff , i know its not the same but it just releases some of those raging sexy hormones .

    Although i bet having a wank at work would be a turn on , as it has that excitement of getting caught , so probably won't help you .

    I'm normally okay for 2-3 maybe 4 days recently by day three I'm going out my mind haha. Being on this forum prob dont help maybe I like teasing myself, we have young children so my wife can be tired etc as she looks after them and house and now its summer holidays too.

    We still have sex 2-4 times a week so I cant complain at all really just need to block it out easier said than done though.

    1408703636
    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2467
    • Joined: 12 Sep 2010

    Fitnessfreak wrote:

    My sex drive is through the roof the last few weeks my wifes isnt as high as mine and I dont like putting pressure on her anyone else have these issues? I dont massturbate much at all as its not the same I like the closeness.

    Today all I can think about is sex scenieros in my head not very good while at work!!

    This is very common, it's where the wife and I sit most of the time and I think it is probably usual for most couples. Communication is key here we have discussed it at great length. Not wanting to apply pressure is an admirable quality and should be observed as much as possible. However this forum is full of threads about mismatched sex drives( use the search bar at the top of the page to find them)

    For us we have found our own way around this, even if my Wife doesn't desire sex she is always happy to give a massage and HJ. We have also done some prostate milking massage. if you do some Google research on this there are differing opinions but it can take your desire away for a few days. There are some posts from nurses and urologist that say this technique is very good at subduing sexual desire post milk. For me it just makes me hornier.

    Hope this helps.

    1408704191
    Fitnessfreak [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 366
    • Joined: 19 Dec 2011

    Gentle giant wrote:

    Fitnessfreak wrote:

    My sex drive is through the roof the last few weeks my wifes isnt as high as mine and I dont like putting pressure on her anyone else have these issues? I dont massturbate much at all as its not the same I like the closeness.

    Today all I can think about is sex scenieros in my head not very good while at work!!

    This is very common, it's where the wife and I sit most of the time and I think it is probably usual for most couples. Communication is key here we have discussed it at great length. Not wanting to apply pressure is an admirable quality and should be observed as much as possible. However this forum is full of threads about mismatched sex drives( use the search bar at the top of the page to find them)

    For us we have found our own way around this, even if my Wife doesn't desire sex she is always happy to give a massage and HJ. We have also done some prostate milking massage. if you do some Google research on this there are differing opinions but it can take your desire away for a few days. There are some posts from nurses and urologist that say this technique is very good at subduing sexual desire post milk. For me it just makes me hornier.

    Hope this helps.

    Sounds interesting ill have a look, we do talk about it a lot but she loves me to be spontaneous but this is difficault when crazy horney, before I left for work I picked her up with her legs wrapped around me and gave her a kiss goodbye so its not going to be that spontaneous now lol.

    The hardest part about being mismatched is once she took her pill for too long and after her hormones must have bounced which turned her into a sex mad woman for a few days, I think we had sex about 12 times in 4 days it was far to much I was sore even but it was nice to feel like I'm the less sexual one in the relationship for a while.

    1408704461
    MrsMcX [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1949
    • Joined: 15 Feb 2013

    I understand where your coming from, having small children can be exhausting. We're in the same boat, but I try and have sex with my husband as much as possible. Lately it's gone from every day to about once every other day and maybe a few days in a row in the middle of the week. It hasn't always been like this though, we were once or twice a week a long time ago.

    My husband knows that when I'm tired or stressed out that I'm not going to be in the mood for sex. So lately he's been doing things to improve my mood so I will be in the mood for sex. This sounds manipulitive in black and white, but it works so well! He does say that it isn't purely to do with sex, and that he's mainly doing it to help me out and make sure I'm happy, but obviously if it leads to sex it puts us both in a great mood for the next day.

    Like one day this week I was so exhausted, so he took the kids out for half an hour when he got home from work. It doesn't sound like much but it made a huge difference to just be alone away from all the noise for a small amount of time. I had a 20 minute nap, and he come home and I was totally refreshed and felt so much happier and I had the energy for some pretty amazing sex!

    He'll also let me have a lie in on days that he's off work and he'll get up early with the kids. Some days I'll feel bad about it and get up early with the kids and let him lay in. But it's all about finding a good balance between give and take. We really work as a team, and if one of us is feeling down or tired then the other one will step up to improve the others mood. Whether that be cooking dinner, doing the dishes or entertaining the kids for a while so the other one can have a break.

    It makes a huge difference and has really made us a lot closer having that sort of 'team' relationship.

    1408704945
    Fitnessfreak [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 366
    • Joined: 19 Dec 2011

    MrsMcX wrote:

    I understand where your coming from, having small children can be exhausting. We're in the same boat, but I try and have sex with my husband as much as possible. Lately it's gone from every day to about once every other day and maybe a few days in a row in the middle of the week. It hasn't always been like this though, we were once or twice a week a long time ago.

    My husband knows that when I'm tired or stressed out that I'm not going to be in the mood for sex. So lately he's been doing things to improve my mood so I will be in the mood for sex. This sounds manipulitive in black and white, but it works so well! He does say that it isn't purely to do with sex, and that he's mainly doing it to help me out and make sure I'm happy, but obviously if it leads to sex it puts us both in a great mood for the next day.

    Like one day this week I was so exhausted, so he took the kids out for half an hour when he got home from work. It doesn't sound like much but it made a huge difference to just be alone away from all the noise for a small amount of time. I had a 20 minute nap, and he come home and I was totally refreshed and felt so much happier and I had the energy for some pretty amazing sex!

    He'll also let me have a lie in on days that he's off work and he'll get up early with the kids. Some days I'll feel bad about it and get up early with the kids and let him lay in. But it's all about finding a good balance between give and take. We really work as a team, and if one of us is feeling down or tired then the other one will step up to improve the others mood. Whether that be cooking dinner, doing the dishes or entertaining the kids for a while so the other one can have a break.

    It makes a huge difference and has really made us a lot closer having that sort of 'team' relationship.

    I kinda do this like this evening she is tired so ive said when I get in from work I will look after the monkies and put them to bed and she can have a sleep for an hour or so.

    I'm one of the guys which I think is fairly comman that loves to please his wife for instance her climaxing before me is always my turn on as I love to please her, at the moment I'm so sexually attracted to her ive massaged her naked for ages before even foreplay. Ive also bought her surpise presents a lot to show how much I appreciate the bits she does at home I work she dosnt but being with the kids can be real tough one.

    I'm sure I could do more to help and I'm pretty sure she sometimes has sex when shes not totally in the mood although she always enjoys it. I think I'm looking for a answear thats not there, a while back my drive dropped a lot and she didnt like it so she does love the attention I give her when I am raging horney.

    1408704974
    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2467
    • Joined: 12 Sep 2010

    It's part of sharing your life with someone. When it's good enjoy it when it's tough talk. The pill can be many things to many woman. We don't like taking any meds if pos. So the moment we'd had our 2 children I had the snip. That was 12 years ago, we now sit about where you are describing naturally. I have always had the higher sex drive. Having had the snip spontaneity is easy and so much fun, my wife loves it occasionally when.I just"take her" as she puts it.

    1408705419
    Fitnessfreak [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 366
    • Joined: 19 Dec 2011

    Gentle giant wrote:

    It's part of sharing your life with someone. When it's good enjoy it when it's tough talk. The pill can be many things to many woman. We don't like taking any meds if pos. So the moment we'd had our 2 children I had the snip. That was 12 years ago, we now sit about where you are describing naturally. I have always had the higher sex drive. Having had the snip spontaneity is easy and so much fun, my wife loves it occasionally when.I just"take her" as she puts it.

    She did come of the pill for a while but now she is on the coil but there is a reason for this now as she has endo so the hormones help or slows it down.

    I'm very into the fitness world and I use certain things that will boost my sex drive back to when I was 18 again very cool but very unreasanble for me to expect my wife to be the same. Even though that sounds like a flaw its helped our relationship after our first child I was overweight and sex drive was dead and we just wasnt getting on due to all of those reasons I guess. The fitness side has saved my relationship 100% sounds weird but it has, I'm more confident , more energy and I guess my wife might be more attracted to me although she would never admit to this,

    Two weekends ago we stayed in a spa typical dirty weekend away and these things help, ive been with her for 14 years and thats one of our best weekends away.

    1408707830
    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2467
    • Joined: 12 Sep 2010

    FF, not weird at all whatever it takes for you to feel good about yourself is fine. The women here are great about discussing there feelings we men can be very poor at it.

    We've found over the years that communication is the most important thing. At first it was mostly me initiating conversations about our love life but I knew we had cracked it when my wife started initiating the conversations too. It's is the key most things can be overcome or even stopped from going wrong with a timely chat. We also find it very erotic just talking about it. This is how we she overcame her shyness around it.

    1408740291
    Jazzam [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 274
    • Joined: 14 Apr 2009

    I always tease myself sitting on LH all the time >.<
    Although my drive has dropped slightly since having my mirena coil fitted last month - not enough though haha

    It feels hard, but I think 2-4 times a week is a very healthy amount for a woman who is tearing around after kids all day haha I work and have children, and I tell you, I'd much rather be at work! Work is my rest, my days off when my OH is working - they are the real nightmare days of my week lol
    I love my two boys dearly of course

    1408747645
    Gdnkhn [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 33
    • Joined: 28 Oct 2010

    My sex drive is a lot higher than OH. I try to instigate a lot of the time but she is always lately not in the mood or tired. We tend to have sex once a month. I don't put pressure on her but do get a little frustrated at times .

    1409067593
    Fitnessfreak [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 366
    • Joined: 19 Dec 2011

    Do you think women get a build up like men? I still really want to see if I dont initiate sex for a while longer to see if she gets more and more horney and inititates things, the problem is I find it so hard to wait at the moment so I always start things off haha my own worst enemy.

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.