• OH is worried!

    1406892467
    Bettyblue [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 3
    • Joined: 16 Jun 2014

    Hi everyone!

    I recently bought the mr big rabbit and when it got here i opened up the box and the first thing he said was "thats much bigger than me, i'll get nothing now"

    I enjoy using my toys (i have a very high drive and once every couple days is enough for him) but prefer him obviously, i just need a way to show him that without stopping using them!

    1406892786
    Kittyondrugz [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 546
    • Joined: 18 Apr 2014

    Maybe use that rabbit when he's not around.Or get some sexy lingerie and surprise him with a sexy night,involving a lot of blojobs to show him that you appreciate his member.

    1406892910
    DreamOfTheEndless [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 663
    • Joined: 23 Oct 2010

    This can't be an uncommon worry.

    It's not something that concerns me as our toys are not bigger than I am (not that I'm John Holmes or anything, it's just the toys we have) but our first toy was a rabbit which was a wee bit bigger than me.

    I'd have to say that it never worried me, I think largely because I saw it as a help to me rather than a replacement for me. I actually got pretty turned on watching my OH accommodating it.

    Anyway. I think the thing is to make sure he understand that it's for him as much as it is for you. Get him involved. Relinquish control of it now and again. Get him to make you come with it and he'll put it down to himself as much as the toy. And if he's still getting his every couple of days, I can't see it being a problem. I'd be surprised if seeing you using toys more often doesn't make him want to up his output but that's totally personal.

    Good luck!

    1406893191
    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2748
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2014

    Rorschach wrote:

    This can't be an uncommon worry.

    It's not something that concerns me as our toys are not bigger than I am (not that I'm John Holmes or anything, it's just the toys we have) but our first toy was a rabbit which was a wee bit bigger than me.

    I'd have to say that it never worried me, I think largely because I saw it as a help to me rather than a replacement for me. I actually got pretty turned on watching my OH accommodating it.

    Anyway. I think the thing is to make sure he understand that it's for him as much as it is for you. Get him involved. Relinquish control of it now and again. Get him to make you come with it and he'll put it down to himself as much as the toy. And if he's still getting his every couple of days, I can't see it being a problem. I'd be surprised if seeing you using toys more often doesn't make him want to up his output but that's totally personal.

    Good luck!

    +1

    1406893298
    Lucky 7 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 34
    • Joined: 11 Jul 2011

    Why not try letting him use it on you? That way you could start off using it as foreplay, and then let him know that you want his penis instead when you're all fired up!

    Other than that, just use it when he's not around, keep it as a fun little secret :P

    1406893314
    stamford [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 305
    • Joined: 19 Jun 2012

    It's not uncommon.. I actually bought my wife a rabbit and thought that was the end of me !! But in all honesty, she's rarely used ( well not that I know about ) as she claimed it was too big and didn't really get the same feelings as she did with me. That said, we still play with toys although not as big as a rabbit and it's all good. Suppose it depends how well endowed your partner is I guess whether your used to a big one or not... Luckilly I'm not the most well endowed man in the world or unluckilly depending how you look at it

    1406893683
    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2748
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2014

    I think it was a fairly immature comment to be honest, he should understand that you have a higher sex drive and he can't expect you to go without because he doesn't want it, just like you can't force him to have sex when he doesn't want it,

    I think this just needs an open discussion, the fact that it was the first thing he said makes me think he resents you having toys, it is possible that since you started using toys you've just been using that rather than bothering with him because you expect him to say no, perhaps he does want more than once every few days?

    1406893766
    DreamOfTheEndless [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 663
    • Joined: 23 Oct 2010

    Show him this article. I swear, if my wife read this site, I don't think we'd have any problems communicating at all. :)

    1406895535
    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 4211
    • Joined: 4 Dec 2012

    But him a toy of his own

    1406896846
    Delboy1991 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1256
    • Joined: 30 Jan 2013

    What about buying him something and use each toy on each other one night. He might find it a massive turn on. That way he won't be feeling left out. Xx

    1406903378
    jeffngloria [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 367
    • Joined: 12 Aug 2013

    I think some men have this notion that once something bigger than your cock has been in your missus she isn't going to feel you anymore and it's going to be like the last hotdog in the tin the next time out, which is take it from me complete nonsense,i get turned on watching my OH take bigger toys than wee Jeff

    1406904169
    Briona87 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1075
    • Joined: 29 Jun 2014

    Tell him (with mock seriousness) that you now also expect him to have rotating beads and a clitoral attachment on his penis, too. Then, having made sure he understood it was a joke, tell him that toys bring you a completely different feeling than himself, that you use them to spice your sex life a bit but that the main course (a main course that is truly a favourite one!) is always him. Get him a sex toy or two so that he, too, can experience other kinds of stimulation.

    1406904666
    ScottishSweethearts [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 151
    • Joined: 16 Jun 2014

    I agree with everyone else - if you get him something of his own he'll realise that toys aren't a replacement for people. I imagine he'll still probably be quite sensitive about it so just try and avoid talking about it too much, keep the experiences to yourself and make sure to still give him all the attention he desires and make sure he knows that he still satisfies you. Good luck!!!

    1406907203
    jayandrach [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 293
    • Joined: 18 Jan 2012

    I purchased the mr big rabbit for my wife and I love to use it on her it is a real turn on for both of us. So I would suggest for him to use it on you and see how he finds it then after a while you can let him know that you really want his member so he won't feel left out at all.

    1406913913
    Pixieking [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 612
    • Joined: 31 Aug 2010

    Sounds like he's coming from a place of feeling vulnerable.

    Toys can (for me at least) feel much better mechanically than people in the most bare and biological way, but toys cannot give everything that people can and chances are you wouldn't want them to. It might make him more comfortable if you explain or make it clear the things that you get from him that you can't get from a toy (if these are things you're active in.)

    1406914108
    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2083
    • Joined: 23 Jun 2012

    In the past I have always found asking the man to use the toy on me during foreplay has been enough to get them interested I. Toys and less worried about " is it better than me!"

    Lots of verbal responses telling him you like what he's doing with the toy r to hold it or move it in a certain way will make him feel like he's the one turning you on and not the toy! Then afterwards tell him it's so much better when he uses it on you compared I solo play

    1406914359
    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2748
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2014

    buying him a toy will show him that they're not able to replace sex, its a totally different pleasure

    1406934179
    SR36 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 573
    • Joined: 29 Jul 2014

    I agree with getting him his own toy, then at least he can see that there really is no 'replacement' for the real deal.

    I do reckon there could be more to this than just the size thing though- maybe pay a few compliments on technique/hotness etc etc in future? I've had a partner or two that were actually pretty small, but they were so damn cocky (excuse the term) and rightly so- they were good anyway and they knew it!!!

    1406939288
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2219
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2011

    Tell him this:

    1) The vagina is surprisingly stretchy. It is a complete myth that you will become looser from using it and your vagina will spring back to its usual size after each play session. This means there is no way he will feel less, or you will feel less, when he penetrates you. It will be the same as it was before Mr Big arrived.

    2) It is a myth that bigger is better. Bigger is just different. There are pros and cons to smaller penetrating objects and larger ones. It is simply a different sensation...not better or worse, either way round.

    3) Sex toys can NEVER compete with a real life sexual partner. Yes, they can bring women to orgasm more reliably because they may contain rotating, vibrating, thrusting parts designed specifically for the task of making women (or men) orgasm. . There are many women who can ONLY orgasm from vibrations, because they need that sensation as opposed to stroking themselves. However....ask ANY woman if she would choose either A) Guaranteed orgasms with the sex toy of her choice forever, or B) somewhat regular (or even regular) orgasms with the man of her dreams forever and all of them will say "I'll take B"

    A sex toy is designed to make us orgasm, but when you think about it...it would not be a vastly interesting sex life for any woman who chose A. Women (and men too) find sex is better generally with someone, rather than something. We enjoy the communicating, the warm bodies pressing together, the satisfaction on our partners face, the noises they make, the kissing, the long slow strokes over our skin, the naughty whispers in each others ears, the scratching, biting, grabbing ....what sex toy can provide these things?

    Tell him to think of sex toys as a TOOL in your arsenal that can add spice and variety to your sex life....but to not see them as a threat, because they truly are not....no matter how massive that dildo is.

    My partner enjoys watching me use bigger toys. He likes to watch it stretch me and he likes to use them on me too. As someone who has inserted MANY MANY sex toys that are larger than my boyfriends penis, I can tell you (or your partner) right now...nothing ever really compares to his warm, penis, hard but silky soft. It is a part of him,...him who I love and find attractive. There is just no competition. Does that stop me using sex toys though? Not a chance! Why? because variety is the spice of life.

    All the best.

    1406942326
    Monkeysnacks [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 76
    • Joined: 6 Sep 2013

    Fluffbags wrote:

    We enjoy the communicating, the warm bodies pressing together, the satisfaction on our partners face, the noises they make, the kissing, the long slow strokes over our skin, the naughty whispers in each others ears, the scratching, biting, grabbing ....what sex toy can provide these things?

    Fluffbags said it so eloquently there isn't much more I can add... But here's my two cents anyway.

    There's a lot of truth in the saying "it's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean". Just because your rabbit is bigger and designed to tickle you in all the right places, it certainly can't give you a cuddle and then fall asleep spooning you afterwards. Intimacy with a partner is about more than just reaching orgasm, and sexy time doesn't always have to involve sex. Set aside a date night where you spend time engaging in lots of foreplay. Reassure your partner that you love him and give him lots of compliments about his technique, his body and the way he makes you feel. These don't have to be hollow compliments either, show and tell him him what feels good and then let him hear how much pleasure he is giving you.

    Maybe work up to incorporating your toys in play together, rather than just whipping it out one night. As others have said, it would probably be very arousing for him to use it on you and feel like he is doing some of the pleasuring himself.

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.