• Not allowed to touch

    1406039012
    stressedmale82 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi all. I have been on here before for a moan so sorry to come back again.

    Since last time i posted things have improved and there has been some great sex. But i want more and i dont think it will happen.

    The thing is that it is only great sex - nothing much else.

    I am not allowed to touch my fiancee anywhere near her vagina. i keep trying and if the sex has been better had hoped this would change with time or i would be allowed a little touch etc.

    Anyway the other day i wanted to touch whilst we were in the middle of lots of kissing and i said please i really want to and she said you know you are not allowed to do that!

    I just feel really bored!

    1406039554
    Kittyondrugz [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh..i'm sorry that you're not happy with your sex life.Maybe you should have a very serious conversation with her about it,so you can work past it in some way..

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    [suspended user]

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    Do you know what the reason is? any why she wont et you touch her?x

    1406039751
    stressedmale82 [sign in to see picture]
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    thanks you. we have had many serious chats and arguments and she just says deal with it! she says she gets no pleasure from it whatsoever and never has. I feel useless and insulted that for all the years previous she let me do it now that she has got me to keep she has her own way with everything. i doubt it will ever go back to how it used to be. i have let her get too comfortable with things as they have been for a number of years - boring and one sided.

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    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
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    that doesnt sound very good on the relationship front hun.

    She needs to realise shes pushing you away.

    1406039907
    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Have you asked why you're not allowed to touch? I think if she's made it clear she doesn't like it there's nothing you can do, if she didn't like to suck your dick we wouldn't be telling you how to make her. But something is clearly bothering her and that's the problem here, everyone has to compromise in a relationship, you've just said it's improved for you but you want more, she's compromised to improve it for you so you dhould compromise to make her feel more comfortable, knowing you want it she'll feel on edge that you're going to keep trying

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    DavidB1986 [sign in to see picture]
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    Let me come back to this...

    1406040296
    stressedmale82 [sign in to see picture]
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    so its best just to give up and say that its great she is making more of an effort with other things? The thing is that she will pleasure me and is very good at and does it in a number of ways but i feel that i am unable to please her except with pure sex. She has toys but only she is allowed to use and touch them i may watch but not touch or control the toys in anyway.

    I feel disconected and cut off by her. i feel like a play thing that she just uses when she so wishes - i am not allowed to make a move on her.

    1406040351
    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi there, sorry to hear this. It sounds as though she may have an emotional issue of some kind, maybe something bad has happened in her past? Perhaps you could write her a letter explaining how this makes you feel too. If she does have an issue, then realising how much it is affecting you too, may make her realise she needs to open up to you. Just let her know you are there for her and that she can trust you completely. Maybe try some more romantic things, like a bath together or a massage.

    Just focus on the non-sexual stuff for a while, like holding hands, kissing and cuddling and build up really slowly while taking the time to talk to her too. It won’t be easy, but don’t give up on her just yet… xx

    1406040437
    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    It seems that you have bigger issues than sex life, she's compromised with that and it's improved for you. But you're not happy and it seems to me that you resent her, not a great relationship. You say she always gets her way, my elder sisters used to say that about me when we were children. When really it was just because they resented me and begrudged everything I got. It sounds like begrudge everytime she gets what she wants when from her point of view she's already compromising.

    you clearly want different things, many couples do, you either compromise or give up, you can't force her to change, sex is a very sensitive subject, you said she's made it very clear she doesn't want you to and has improved sex for you but you still insist on trying.

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    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
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    sex is a huge part of a healthy relationship but it isnt all of it

    1406040691
    stressedmale82 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you David b - i have spoken with the samaritans this morning about an argument we had but is along the same lines where i am the victim and she says i act like that. She is however nasty and abusive towards me and i am made to do most of the work around the house. i am expected to do it and on the occasions i ask her to do things she will do it if she so pleases otherwise she tells me i am expected to do it. no thats your job she says.

    i knows she works hard but she is always snappy with me when i ask for her help with things.

    There are good time sit would suprise you to know but when there are flare ups it is often because i am running around doing things and am exhausted i cry and she says i am thick and swears at me. she never apologises to me i always crawl back to her.She says thst its always my fault .

    i run around doing things just to please her , she has no concept of taking turns eg to do the washing up or make diner. Anyway sorry i am going off on one here.

    1406040776
    stressedmale82 [sign in to see picture]
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    thank you young snd fun interesting points.

    1406040876
    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
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    stressedmale82 wrote:

    Thank you David b - i have spoken with the samaritans this morning about an argument we had but is along the same lines where i am the victim and she says i act like that. She is however nasty and abusive towards me and i am made to do most of the work around the house. i am expected to do it and on the occasions i ask her to do things she will do it if she so pleases otherwise she tells me i am expected to do it. no thats your job she says.

    i knows she works hard but she is always snappy with me when i ask for her help with things.

    There are good time sit would suprise you to know but when there are flare ups it is often because i am running around doing things and am exhausted i cry and she says i am thick and swears at me. she never apologises to me i always crawl back to her. its always my fault .

    i run around doing things just to please her , she has no concept of taking turns eg to do the washing up or make diner. Anyway sorry i am going off on one here.

    I am sorry sweetheart but this strikes me as very wrong.

    Shes being abusive and controlling and yes being female its rare to see usually its males doing it but it's not uncommon.

    Shes controlling you, in and out of the bedroom.

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    stressedmale82 [sign in to see picture]
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    yes you are right she is controlling me but what can i do? everytime i say she is and that i want to be able to ask her to do things and her to agree she flys off the handle and says i should be doing it she is too busy and that i should stop complaining moaning being miserable or lazy most of whicjh i am not. that is just her way of maiing me feel bad so that she does not have to do anything. but i keep saying to her if i am running around doing too much then i am going to be exhausted and get upset and resentful - her response is well you should be better organised i expect things done and says she is not being unreasonable.

    1406042777
    stressedmale82 [sign in to see picture]
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    Am i to blame for being too dependant ? and for doing so much that it is expected that i will do it?, it seems we go through cycles where i will do everthing she will give no thanks i will get upset then i will apologise and then do more for her!! silly i know but often it feels easier just to everything myself and then get overwhealmed rather than try to get her to participate in chores etc.

    1406043189
    Cowboy81 [sign in to see picture]
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    Howdy,

    Sorry but no one really knows but you but one thing is clear - you two need to open up the lines of communications. You can't make her but you have to always be working for that or the relationship will not work.

    I am not saying or implying you have done anything wrong but rather that as humans we have a tendency to talk to our own points and not really hear the other person.. we are all bias towards our own selves. So when you go, hear her. You probably already know that and do so... I have no idea but the only thing that is for sure is you 2 need to talk and find the common ground of your relationship.

    Wish you all the best mate

    1406043389

    [suspended user]

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    I was up against this, the best thing i did was walk out and rent my own place. I called the police to come with me to collect my stuff ad never looked back. i have never been happier.

    I am not saying you should do this but if you know things arent going to get better its the only way you can move on again. I think you should have a long hard chat and if she cant do anything then what do you have to loose? Go out and have fun, let your hair down!

    you sound 100x better than this chick x

    1406045090
    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    stressedmale82 wrote:

    Thank you David b - i have spoken with the samaritans this morning about an argument we had but is along the same lines where i am the victim and she says i act like that. She is however nasty and abusive towards me and i am made to do most of the work around the house. i am expected to do it and on the occasions i ask her to do things she will do it if she so pleases otherwise she tells me i am expected to do it. no thats your job she says.

    i knows she works hard but she is always snappy with me when i ask for her help with things.

    There are good time sit would suprise you to know but when there are flare ups it is often because i am running around doing things and am exhausted i cry and she says i am thick and swears at me. she never apologises to me i always crawl back to her.She says thst its always my fault .

    i run around doing things just to please her , she has no concept of taking turns eg to do the washing up or make diner. Anyway sorry i am going off on one here.

    Get out now, this is mental abuse you are getting Nothing from this much my marriage is sexless but I am loved massive difference, hugs.

    1406046031
    Stuburns [sign in to see picture]
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    Bin her and be assertive when telling her. Sounds like she needs a wake up call on her behaviour

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