• just bought my very first toy

    1404579321
    apprehensive [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 10
    • Joined: 5 Jul 2014

    I have - honest.

    It's too long since I've had sex - and my 'bits' are uncomfortable so time to do something about it.

    Just bought my very first first toy - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22122 after chatting with one of the staff [ that took some courage to actually ask for help ].

    Never usd one before but I only ever came with clitoral 'play' so hoping this will allow me to get an orgasm - - even wrting this I'm aroused , but I cant bring myself off using my fingers - it takes too long and my fingers get tired , and then I'm sort of left 'hanging' and it HURTS .

    Any tips for very scared old lady who was brought up [ like all of my generation ] to think of sex as something 'not very nice' ? I'd like to have some pleasure in my life

    1404579878
    MrsMcX [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1976
    • Joined: 15 Feb 2013

    Although I'm young, I've been brought up in a very old fashioned way. I often thought that sex was dirty, but since finding lovehoney and chatting on the forum I've realised that everyone does it and there's nothing wrong with it! Sex toys have made my relationship more open, and at the end of the day, it's just a bit of fun!

    It's not going to harm you, and no one needs to know about it if you don't want them to. There's nothing wrong with masturbation, people have sex for pleasure and not just procreation so why shouldn't we masturbate for pleasure too? Like you, a lot of women get tired hands maaturbating, why put up with it if there's a product out there that makes things easier for you?

    There's nothing to be ashamed about, and I hope in time you can become more comfortable with this but I truly understand how hard it is. Try and stick around the forums and join us for a nice chat now and then.

    I hope you enjoy your new toy, welcome to the forums :)

    1404581106
    delilahxx [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 7230
    • Joined: 12 Mar 2013

    Hi there :)

    My advise would be try the bullet on the outside of your clothes first and then your underwear before using it on your skin. This way you can find out what feels good without it being too intense.

    I have that bullet and I really like it.

    Any questions you have you can ask on here, we are all very friendly and mostly unshockable :)

    1404581724
    apprehensive [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 10
    • Joined: 5 Jul 2014

    Have to say - I'll be glad when it arrives - and hopefully then I'll be able to relax a bit. It's crazy to say I'm scared - but I am.

    I remember it was a long time [ many years ! ] after our marriage before I had my first orgasm - and I didn't really recognise what it was - all I knew was that my clit was throbbing like mad and my husband was really enjoying rubbing it, he'd already climaxed in me and I wasn't satisfied and he knew it, and the sensation was really pretty intense and buitl up to a point when I felt I was going to pee and I asked him to stop [ I was almost screaming with everything I was feeling ] and he wouldn't. Eventually I sort of exploded and it was soooooooooo wonderful . I was shattered when it was over and it took ages for me to come down.

    I don't expect it to be like that again - but as long as I can get that release I'll be very very happy . I'm tired of trying and not getting to the climax 'cos it just won't come.

    Silly question - do I stroke myself with it? do I leave it on my clit - or what ? I really can't sort of visualise it

    1404582223
    delilahxx [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 7230
    • Joined: 12 Mar 2013

    I personally stroke it over my clothes or underwear, you will soon find where it feels nice, and you may find you want to apply more pressure there.

    On your actual skin you may want to use some lube (if you have some) this way it will glide over your skin and feel very nice with no friction.

    On your clit you may want to use a rocking motion or move it around a bit where it feels good.

    Everyone is different so have a play and find what works for you, but if you don't have any lube I would recommend getting some as it can make playing more enjoyable.

    1404586715
    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2825
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2014

    Use lube on it, it makes it so much more enjoyable and less likely to cause pain over long use. All I can say is embrace your body, feel every sensation you'll find what's best for you, some like to press it on hard others flick it against their clit, you'll figure out how you like it.

    you can ask anything here, a lot are very experienced and you'll be surprised how many people have been through similar things.

    dont expect to orgasm on your first try, as you've not really experimented with your body it'll take time to learn your way round your body, don't think about orgasms the more you focus on the target the less you can get there, just focus on the sensations and let your mind wonder to sexual things, fantasies, attractive celebrities, anything that turns you on. Just relax and enjoy

    1404588717
    JuicyJ89 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 992
    • Joined: 10 Nov 2008

    This was one of my first toys and it is still my go to toy when I want a quick orgasm, I love it! Pointed tip bullets are the best.
    Hope you enjoy xx

    1404590253
    Purring-Pussy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3310
    • Joined: 11 Jun 2012

    Some great advice, nothing more I can really add. Hope you enjoy your new toy. Good luck xx

    1404722095
    apprehensive [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 10
    • Joined: 5 Jul 2014

    I do hope it comes soon - I'm tired of not achieving what [ this sounds bad ] my body is demanding.

    I just can't get there on my own :(

    1404722781
    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2825
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2014

    You need to take pressure off yourself, your first time using a toy might not get you there, just enjoy the new sensations rather than trying for an orgasm

    1404725832
    Purring-Pussy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3310
    • Joined: 11 Jun 2012

    Young and fun95 wrote:

    You need to take pressure off yourself, your first time using a toy might not get you there, just enjoy the new sensations rather than trying for an orgasm

    +1

    1404748218
    glassjoy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 25
    • Joined: 27 Oct 2009

    Relax and enjoy your new toy xx

    1404748741
    ScarletRose [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 351
    • Joined: 1 Aug 2012

    Purring-Pussy wrote:

    Young and fun95 wrote:

    You need to take pressure off yourself, your first time using a toy might not get you there, just enjoy the new sensations rather than trying for an orgasm

    +1

    +2 :P The most important thing is to have fun and enjoy exploring the pleasures :)

    1404750441
    apprehensive [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 10
    • Joined: 5 Jul 2014

    this is addictive - I've just bought a new one as well

    Cupid's G-Spot Smoothie Vibrator Purple

    I think I must really hide my piece of plastic !

    1404963181
    Tussilago [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 46
    • Joined: 30 Apr 2012

    Congratulations on discovering the vast world of sex toys! As with any new partner it takes a while to get completely comfortable and skilled at sex with yourself, relax, have fun and go with the flow. Every time and everyone is different, as long as you're enjoying yourself you're doing nothing wrong!

    My only practical tip is to buy some water based lube, all Sliquids producs are paraben and glycerin free (generally two chemicals you want to avoid. If you're prone to yeast infections their sea water based lube even helps prevent that!), and use generously. From there you can't really go wrong. LH has an amazing return policy so feel free to try out anything you're curious about without worrying if it's perfect for you.

    (there is however a big hole in sex toy material safety regulations you might be interested to check out before you get too dep into the rabbit hole of colorful jelly dongs and "skin safe" rubber. Any combination of the words "body safe sex toys" in google should give informative results)

    1405184625
    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2479
    • Joined: 12 Sep 2010

    apprehensive wrote:

    Have to say - I'll be glad when it arrives - and hopefully then I'll be able to relax a bit. It's crazy to say I'm scared - but I am.

    I remember it was a long time [ many years ! ] after our marriage before I had my first orgasm - and I didn't really recognise what it was - all I knew was that my clit was throbbing like mad and my husband was really enjoying rubbing it, he'd already climaxed in me and I wasn't satisfied and he knew it, and the sensation was really pretty intense and buitl up to a point when I felt I was going to pee and I asked him to stop [ I was almost screaming with everything I was feeling ] and he wouldn't. Eventually I sort of exploded and it was soooooooooo wonderful . I was shattered when it was over and it took ages for me to come down.

    I don't expect it to be like that again - but as long as I can get that release I'll be very very happy . I'm tired of trying and not getting to the climax 'cos it just won't come.

    Silly question - do I stroke myself with it? do I leave it on my clit - or what ? I really can't sort of visualise it

    Hi apprehensive, I think it is wonderful that you feel can post here. You are a very brave lady and you deserve to have this happiness.

    Try and relax and just find what feels good for you. Relax and experiment. This is what we are all here for to help and not judge. I know you havnt posted for a few days but we would all love to know how you got on and see if we can help in any way.

    1405187704
    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2825
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2014

    apprehensive wrote:

    this is addictive - I've just bought a new one as well

    Cupid's G-Spot Smoothie Vibrator Purple

    I think I must really hide my piece of plastic !

    Yay! I have that, it's great, very simple to use, great for a first g-spot vibe.

    deffinately get yourself some water based lube.

    enjoy!

    1405188371
    butterflybee [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 366
    • Joined: 2 Apr 2014

    I agree with Gentle giant, I think it's great that you feel you can post here :-)
    Everyone is really lovely and they give fantastic advice!
    As others have said, relax and enjoy yourself, have fun with your new toys! :-)

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.