Would you Object to Getting Tested?

That's brill D! Good idea there by your local health authority. Should do this everywhere I think. Possibly they do but being well over 25 I wouldn't hear about it!

I'm 26!

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Old man SG69 x

diamonds wrote:

just got a huge letter in the post this morning, opend it up to find a free chlamydia test in it and a letter from the local NHS

I got sent 2 for some reason a week or so apart lol

SEXYGET 69 wrote:

That's brill D! Good idea there by your local health authority. Should do this everywhere I think. Possibly they do but being well over 25 I wouldn't hear about it!

I'm 26!

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add 2

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Old man SG69 x

Since I'm three years older than you, you'll get no sympathy from me.  :p

Well you know what they say Lubyanka?

Your only as old as the man or woman you're feeling.

Unfortunately for me (in this context of course!) I'm 47

SG69 x

wen i lived at home they sent me a test in the post, i was a virgin at the time, so didnt need it.

at my SU in the evenings they reguarly have the GUM clinic people standing near the hand basins in the loos trying to get people to do them, once they even gave out free drinks vouchers

they must be doing this in other places then if anders has also got this going on in here area as we live in totaly differance places. so maybe there are also doing this all over the whole conuntry then.

and SG dont let mrs SG read that or she might put that whip to you instead of the other way round! lol

Dxx

diamonds wrote:

and SG dont let mrs SG read that or she might put that whip to you instead of the other way round! lol

Dxx

Oh my god D I could just do with it mate!

SG69 x

SEXYGET 69 wrote:

diamonds wrote:

and SG dont let mrs SG read that or she might put that whip to you instead of the other way round! lol

Dxx

Oh my god D I could just do with it mate!

SG69 x

show her the thread then :P lol

Dxx

if i split from my OH and started seeing another, then i would expect my new g/f to have a test done, and i would also have the test done as well.

If sexual contact happened before the tests were done i most certainly would wear protection.

i wouldn't be offended, it's better to be safe than sorry

No, being sensible about STIs is all the rage!

When I'm back to uni I'm going to get another full blown check up as I'm hopefully going to have a lovely long term partner come Septembr :)

Me personally, yes I would be highly offended. I have always used condoms (with the exception of when I was trying for a baby of course),  I think its down to the individual and their past experiences and history, in some cases it would be commonsense for both partners to get tested, but I would not simply because I've always been the one sadly who has had to nag partners to use condoms, insist on it and refuse sex if they say no, I grew up in the 80s and the awareness campaigns really got through to me, I have always said, if you wanna have sex, be safe and sensible - avoid disease and unplanned pregnancy, condoms do both for this and they dont interfere with the male sensations because there are ultra thin condoms that allow for this. Also using a condom can help prevent the spread of the wart virus that can lead to cervical cancer, so all the more reason for condoms to be used in the first place. I am 38 in august, never had an std and didn't get pregnant until I chose to. Thanks to using and insisting on condoms.

And if I was going to have sex with someone I would be offended if they asked me to get tested because of these facts, if they did not believe me then they can take a hike! If I felt the level of trust was such they could not take me at my word then it would be over long before the bedroom ever came into play.

cj1972 wrote:

Me personally, yes I would be highly offended. I have always used condoms (with the exception of when I was trying for a baby of course),  I think its down to the individual and their past experiences and history, in some cases it would be commonsense for both partners to get tested, but I would not simply because I've always been the one sadly who has had to nag partners to use condoms, insist on it and refuse sex if they say no, I grew up in the 80s and the awareness campaigns really got through to me, I have always said, if you wanna have sex, be safe and sensible - avoid disease and unplanned pregnancy, condoms do both for this and they dont interfere with the male sensations because there are ultra thin condoms that allow for this. Also using a condom can help prevent the spread of the wart virus that can lead to cervical cancer, so all the more reason for condoms to be used in the first place. I am 38 in august, never had an std and didn't get pregnant until I chose to. Thanks to using and insisting on condoms.

And if I was going to have sex with someone I would be offended if they asked me to get tested because of these facts, if they did not believe me then they can take a hike! If I felt the level of trust was such they could not take me at my word then it would be over long before the bedroom ever came into play.

what about if the condom spilt or came off though? you'd be at a risk then of getting a STD then. all the lit out there on STD's still advice to get tested even if you do use condoms as the saying goes its always best to be safer then sorry.

and as uve had a baby then uve has STD screenings as they do this in all the tests they give you.

i personaly dont agree with your view, but hey thats why the world isnt a boring place as we all think differantly.

cj1972 wrote:

Me personally, yes I would be highly offended. I have always used condoms (with the exception of when I was trying for a baby of course),  [...] I would not simply because I've always been the one sadly who has had to nag partners to use condoms, insist on it and refuse sex if they say no, [...] I have always said, if you wanna have sex, be safe and sensible - avoid disease and unplanned pregnancy, condoms do both for this [...] I am 38 in august, never had an std and didn't get pregnant until I chose to. Thanks to using and insisting on condoms.

And if I was going to have sex with someone I would be offended if they asked me to get tested because of these facts, if they did not believe me then they can take a hike! If I felt the level of trust was such they could not take me at my word then it would be over long before the bedroom ever came into play.

Would you trust a prospective partner if they said all that to you before you had sex with them, and would you trust them to respect your health and safety as you are asking them to trust you?  Why is it offensive to you for a person to respect their own health and safety by ensuring that their partners are just as safe as they are?  I don't understand the point of only one partner being tested.  I always insist on testing for myself and my prospective partner.  I know I'm healthy, but does it hurt me to get tested?  No.  And then I have the paper with the results which I can frame and wave around and show people.  :)

I know that trust must be carefully built over a long time, and I respect that, and I also know that I usually want to have sex with them before a perfect degree of trust has been established.  I know that I'd rather be careful now and find out that they were trustworthy later, than give in to their wounded feelings now and find out later that they gave me an STI.  

Also, condoms are not "safe", they are "safer", which means that although they are an excellent barrier method, they are not 100% protection against either STIs or pregnancy.

In my view, asking a prospective partner to get tested isn't about impugning the prospective partner, it's about respecting one's own health and safety.  And if you can't respect that, I guess that's up to you.

I know that if a prospective partner said they were offended about testing, I'd happily take that hike.  I know that my health and safety are worth more to me than their ego.

What Lubyanka said. (btw, Lubyanka *waves* we haven't spoken but wanted to say I found the prostate milking section on your blog v. interesting and informative!)

Also, like others have said, for me I'd respect someone all the more, as it shows that they are responsible and care about their body and health, and if it's someone I'm in a relationship with, it says to me that they're likely to be responsible and caring when it comes to other issues as well, which can only be a good thing.

evey wrote:

What Lubyanka said. (btw, Lubyanka *waves* we haven't spoken but wanted to say I found the prostate milking section on your blog v. interesting and informative!)

Also, like others have said, for me I'd respect someone all the more, as it shows that they are responsible and care about their body and health, and if it's someone I'm in a relationship with, it says to me that they're likely to be responsible and caring when it comes to other issues as well, which can only be a good thing.

Thank you evey, I always like to know who's been reading my drivel.  :)

Good point about if they respect STI testing, they're likely to respect other stuff as well.  I bet this extends to outside the bedroom, since health is more than just a sexual issue.

SEXYGET 69 wrote:

Well you know what they say Lubyanka?

Your only as old as the man or woman you're feeling.

Unfortunately for me (in this context of course!) I'm 47

SG69 x

you said in a previous thread that the pic on your profile pic is your other half? she has an amazing body. even better if she is 47! x

nhs chlamydia testing.....

http://www.chlamydiascreening.nhs.uk/

cj1972 wrote:

[...] if I was going to have sex with someone I would be offended if they asked me to get tested because of these facts, if they did not believe me then they can take a hike! If I felt the level of trust was such they could not take me at my word then it would be over long before the bedroom ever came into play.

I just thought of another thing - do you realise that it is incredibly disrespectful every time you ask a person to simply take your word for it when the gambling stakes are their health?  It is incredibly disrespectful not only to them and their health, but also to their self respect.  Essentially you are asking them to prioritise your ego over their health.  If they don't put their health on the line resting solely on your word, then you say you'll play guilt games by being all offended when they might not just instantly identify that you are the one truthful person in a world full of liars.

I mean seriously, be reasonable, how are people honestly supposed to tell the difference between somebody like you asserting that they are clean, healthy and safe, and an experienced liar with herpes just saying that to get a person into the sack without protection?  What about a person who has never been tested but just doesn't admit it, and claims to have tested clean?  Can you really expect everybody to be able to tell the difference?  Cos I know I can't.  And I know that however much I'd like to trust a person, to be frank, my health is just worth way to much to me to risk it on somebody's self-esteem trust games.  And asking anybody else to take that risk is just pointless and inconsiderate, in my opinion.  

How will it really hurt you to get tested?  Will a prospective partner caring for their own health and yours hurt you more than your wounded pride when they prioritise their health over your feelings?  I really think that you could benefit by examining your response to this.

I've seen some of your other posts cj1972, and I know that in some aspects of sexuality you do appear to have an open mind.  I really admired what you wrote about fisting.  Can you accept that your logic on this particular topic might bear some scrutiny?

Thank you for reading.  :)

the reason I said this is because I actually have to know a person well, very well, before I would even consider having sex with them - be it months or even longer than that, I also make sure I know all about their sexual history too, I have to feel I know someone inside out before they even come near me. Once Im happy I can trust them and know them well enough to say this person will not give me an STI and I know they are into one to one relationships,  can trust them etc, I'm happy to be my own judge, I dont need a third party or an sti testing kit to tell me that - for me its about having absolute trust between me and the other person. I haven't had many relationships, but all the sexual experiences Ive had have been with long term partners or lovers, in relationships that have lasted years, for me it is the only way I will share sexually with a partner, because it's right for me, but I've made good choices, had amazing experiences and stayed safe. I think this world today is too open sometimes and looks at life from an angle that would have been considered unacceptible a few years ago, I've always built on relationships, got to know the person, developed mutual trust then the sex can be amazing. If its any less or the foundation of 'i'll only sleep with them if theyve had a test' is very cold and clinical and has nothing to do with what matters most as a foundation - whaich is trust and respect and mutual honesty. I know thats just my view but maybe Im a bit old fashioned, lol