Would you Object to Getting Tested?

This is a bit of a strange question, but it is one I'm a bit curious about.

As I have only had one partner and we were both very young and both virgins (having had no sexual contact or even kissing before each other) she was using the injection and we therefore had no real need for condoms. However, obviously were I to sleep with someone now I would use condoms even if she were on the pill/injection/whatever.

However, I think if she were on some other form of contraception, eventually later in the relationship I'd want to approach the subject of doing away with condoms as I really despise the damned things. The thing is...I'd probably ask the hypothetical woman if she would mind being tested for any STDs before doing so. Obviously I would offer to do the same thing.

(I know I think too much LOL)

Anyway, the question I would like to ask is...Would you be offended were you put in this situation?

If a girl asked me for this, I would have no problem doing so and would not be offended in the slightest...but I do recognise that some people might take offence to such a thing. I just thought that I would ask if people here would be ok with it or be offended?

DISCUSS!

I think it's all in the way you ask.  For example, how about we go get tested together now we're serious.  I've not done it, but it makes A LOT of sense to get tested.  Especially if it was time to try for babies and you'd been together forever, STIs can stay forever with little symptoms so it would make sense to both get tested at that point.  But I do know that many GUM clinics are super busy.

I think the best thing to do is get tested, but I've been in a long term relationship and we didn't before we stopped using condoms so it's the difference of advice and what you do.  I think I'd do differently next time though.

ive asked my ex when i was with him to gt tested even though we had no real plans to stop using condoms as i was worried about STD's as he had, had a high number of partners before me and was also in the army and so i had my concerns about the fact if the number might be higher then what he told me, that i also doubted he had used condoms with everything single one every single time by things he had said and the fact that when he used to talk about in his job alot of guys would go see prosterutes(SP) (and to me he showed what i think of as an unhealthy intreast in wanting to go to one if he was single) as its legal in some of the places they go, germany is one of them.

i too got my self tested even though i had only slept with one other person before him and that had been only ones and protected.

i had a few more done while going out with my ex as i did tend to worry alot about my sexual health (i think it was cos i did not trust him and i worried he would cheat and not use something then maybe catch something and pass on to me). anyway 2 weeks after we split up i went and had a full sexual health check up, they tested me for everything (i thought he might have cheated on me before we broke up) and it all came back clear like all the other test that i had done, which im so very pleased about.

before me and my OH now stopped using condoms we talked about STD's and how i had got tested after my split with my ex and hadnt slept with anyone eles till my OH and he had told me he has always used condoms and he to had been tested.

i think everyone she have tests before stop using condoms with a partner as its the most sensable and adult thing to do, your not saying they have anything but you are saying its better to safe then sorry.

Dxx

Thanks, that's the kind of things I was hoping to hear. Because I think it's quite reasonable to ask (and obviously, I'd ask very subtley and offer to do it at the same time etc.) but I did wonder what the general concensus was on whether that kind of request was unfair.

on all gum and brook places say you should get tested every 6 months though i havent ever done this, infact i havent had one done now since the one i had after i split from my ex.

im not to sure of i do have one how to bring it up with my OH, will he think im worried i might hvae something or cheated or that he mjight think that i think  his got something or cheated? when thats not the case, i just think that maybe should have a check up as its been so long:S

Dxx

i dont mind about actually going, my docotors run a sexual health clinic a few times a week and the nurses are lovely and talk you through everything.

its just the idea of how could i bring it up and tell my OH, i wouldnt not tell him im the type of person if my OH asks what i done today i will tell him, so i know il say ive been to the docs and he will ask why. and i dont see why i shouldnt say anything, its just the way of bringing it up i guess.

but where we leave every few months you get a letter from the NHS saying there is testing for STD'S in the area send off for a free testing pack and send it all off in the post, so maybe il bring it up around there. were now both at the same docotors and i think it would just be a good idea for both of us to go fo some check ups.

funny how when we stopped using condoms we could have this talk and now weve been togther for 13 months i dont know how to bring it up with out worrying il upset or offend him lol

Dxx

good i wish we had an edit button ive used so many wrong words and spelling is so bed!

the above post she read where we live***

If a bloke asked me that and explained it the way you have nexas i think i would have alot of new found respect for him. Esspecially for being so safe and offering your self to go also means you have respect for that other person not to pass anything on to them or visa versa!

xx

You have gone up even more in my estimation Nexas - I wish more guys were like you. Kudos

It's not really an issue with me and Gee (been together since the Dark Ages with me a virgin and him only 2 previous partners) but when my daughter is of an age (please not too soon), I will be encouraging her to use condoms, have regular smear tests, get the HPv injection and make use of sexual health clinics, especially for testing.

It's difficult, but folks really need to get over ideas as to how many partners they've had (it only takes one) or that people will think they are being nosey/ skanky/ whatever and basically say that if a potential partner doesn't get on board with it, at best it's condoms forever and at worst it's the heave-ho.

Like everyone above I wouldn't be offended. I'd expect the other person to go with me though because I pass out everytime I have blood drawn!
However, the consensus you get on here might not be reflective of all of the outside world as it were. I know that when I was pregnant (and you get tested for all and sundry) the midwife told me that most of her patients were mortified/angry at being told they were being STD tested.
I suppose it depends what their attitude is, and whether testing has stigma in their social circle. For instance my best friend gets tested every 6months, as does one of my female friends-they're both gay and open about testing with partners. However, my other straight friends would only get tested if they were compelled to (we've spoken about it)-including one who has never used condoms in her life and has a very active love life.

Hi Mme Kitty - of course we are not representative of the general population. It's sad that a large percentage of people (including many of our own family, freinds, colleagues etc) would be horrified and dismayed to know what we get up to on here. But having said that, if the attitude amongst the more sexually aware and liberated like us is one of education, awareness and responsibility, then that's all for the good

I have been in this situation, I split up with my current OH and started seeing someone else as did he. After about 6 months we decided we should be together and he said before we had sex again had i slept with anyone else and i said yes so he very rightly said i'm not having sex with you til you get tested which i did. He got tested too

i wouldnt be offended either.  for me it would be mandatory if i was going to have sex with a committed partner withought condoms.

 For me, the absolute first thing is a mandatory visit to the GUM clinic or STD screening for myself and any new partners, complete with written evidence of the test results.

(I've been thinking of framing them)

Even though I always practice safer sex, I reckon additional screening can't hurt, both for my own health and my partners.

I wouldn't be offended if a new partner asked me to be tested and I've been thinking the same as you Nexas as I would like to insist any future partners I may have be tested but wondering how to approach it.

I've only had one partner, he had slept with others before but insisted he had been tested between his last partner and me (I later found out this to be a lie but that's another issue entirely) and although I don't believe he cheated on me when we were together I got myself fully tested a few months after we split just to make sure I was clear.

When I have a regular partner again I will prob get myself tested every 6 months. Better safe than sorry it's not exactly a hardship to have it done.

I really don't think that you're considering it too much - i'd completely respect a guy who understood and respected his body and my own.

Not at all.

SG69

Well, my OH was my first sexual partner, and when i was with my ex, we were both virgins too, so no diseases my end.

But my OH had previously been a tad primiscuous, from what he told me, and he was tested about 6 months before he and I got together, but once we were officially together, i was a lil worried, and he offered to do a test, which was lovely of him, and as expected he was all clear.

But if things were the other way around, i wouldnt have minded at all, its only sensible to both get tested when going into a new relationship which you both hope to be a long term one, especially when you both wish to no longer use condoms.

x x x

Aww, guys! I hadn't been expecting the lovely comments about gaining respect for me and stuff ^_^' That's so lovely! Thank you!

I was just curious to be honest as I've never been in a situation where my partner had ever slept with anyone else so the whole concept of it is alien to me.

I do realise that this isn't the consensus of the outside world, but I'd rather not go down to Oxford Street with a petition to ask everyone LOL And any of the other forums I frequent would almost certainly ban me for asking such things LOL

Thanks for the fantastic responses everyone!

just got a huge letter in the post this morning, opend it up to find a free chlamydia test in it and a letter from the local NHS, there doing free testing in my area and sending out free test to everyone aged 16 to 25! had letters from them in the past offering to do a test, i would just have to send off for the pack but there now just sending the test out without asking, which i think is a good idea as it means more people are more likely to take it.

told my OH and i said im gonna do it and he now lives in the same area and so should get one himself and he said he do it aswell if i do it.

i think offering the tests like this to people is def a brilliant idea, i think more people will get testsed and be more awear and also that if you have a partner and your not sure how to bring the convo up this could be away to start talking about test ect. hopefuly everyones local NHS are doing this or going to do this

Dxx