Bride dumps fiance for being in a porn film

In no way am I excusing anyone but am just wondering when would be the right time to tell a prospective partner you are a pornstar?

1st date? As a chat up line?

I'm just wondering how you bring it up and when!

 There was a reality series on television a few years back before I stopped watching.  It followed a man around in his quest to find a girlfriend.  He owned a porn film business.  Every time he had a date, he told his date on the first evening.

I think that it's appropriate to bring it up on the first date, because it's really something for a prospective partner to consider before proceeding further.  Besides which, I think that disclosing that is a time saver, because if a person runs off first thing, then obviously they're the wrong partner.  :)

I've got a list of stuff I tell people on the first date, just to get it all out of the road.

WandA wrote:

In no way am I excusing anyone but am just wondering when would be the right time to tell a prospective partner you are a pornstar?

1st date? As a chat up line?

I'm just wondering how you bring it up and when!

Well that would certainly be an ice-breaker, right?!

Haha, I know what you mean. But still, when the conversation would turn to careers, interests, that kind of direction - if I was in that business, I can't imagine it being too embarassing or awkward. Just another career.

In fact, if my prospective partner brought that up, I be quite intrigued to hear about it - not all that often you get to hear about the adult market from that perspective. True that a way to break an awkward pause might not be "So... I'm a porn star. You say you're in advertising?", but if you go about it the right way, I'm sure that it wouldn't be too difficult. And also it would be pretty important to judge the individual person and how they may personally react - some people might appreciate the blunt honest approach, may be totally comfortable with that kind of thing. However if you're admitting it to a more reserved, conservative person, it's possible that the frank 'confession' as such may not be so well received. But at the end of that little spiel (apologies!) I really think that it depends on the person being told!

Lubyanka wrote:

 There was a reality series on television a few years back before I stopped watching.  It followed a man around in his quest to find a girlfriend.  He owned a porn film business.  Every time he had a date, he told his date on the first evening.

I think that it's appropriate to bring it up on the first date, because it's really something for a prospective partner to consider before proceeding further.  Besides which, I think that disclosing that is a time saver, because if a person runs off first thing, then obviously they're the wrong partner.  :)

I've got a list of stuff I tell people on the first date, just to get it all out of the road.

I do completely agree with Lubyanka too. Some things should be got out in the open during the potential start of a relationship - things that are likely to have an impact on the relationship (whatever form that may be) - and although an issue like this may not be a problem to some people (whether it is of little consequence to them, or because it would't have such an impact), undeniably it would be of huge importance to some people. And the further one gets into a relationship 'hiding' something like this (to the partner who considers it significant), the more difficult it may be for their partner to deal with.

mimiaow wrote:

Lubyanka wrote:

 There was a reality series on television a few years back before I stopped watching.  It followed a man around in his quest to find a girlfriend.  He owned a porn film business.  Every time he had a date, he told his date on the first evening.

I think that it's appropriate to bring it up on the first date, because it's really something for a prospective partner to consider before proceeding further.  Besides which, I think that disclosing that is a time saver, because if a person runs off first thing, then obviously they're the wrong partner.  :)

I've got a list of stuff I tell people on the first date, just to get it all out of the road.

I do completely agree with Lubyanka too. Some things should be got out in the open during the potential start of a relationship - things that are likely to have an impact on the relationship (whatever form that may be) - and although an issue like this may not be a problem to some people (whether it is of little consequence to them, or because it would't have such an impact), undeniably it would be of huge importance to some people. And the further one gets into a relationship 'hiding' something like this (to the partner who considers it significant), the more difficult it may be for their partner to deal with.

i agree. it would be easier and save a lot of heartbreak if both partners knew what they were getting inot before they even started dating.  as ive said in another thread im honest with potnetial partners

 Even though I always disclose my foodiness on the first date, I do confess that sometimes I wait til the third or fourth date before I confess to my tuna sandwich kink.

Does that make me a bad person?  :p

Ooh dear, that is pretty bad etiquette... :P Did you not know that it is a widely known fact that over 3/5ths of the British population have a tuna-phobia?!

I think the actual time of telling wouldn't have to be the first date LOL But before anything got serious surely your career would come up? And yes, he did tell her his main job, but he should have disclosed all of the information when it came up!

It is about being lied to rather than what it is I think. Although clearly quite a few would not have accepted a partner in that position. I think the two are very far removed in my eyes.

I really do not think I could handle having a girlfriend who was a pornstar because of my own insecurities more than anything. But I can definitely see the two as seperate!

i can'y understand how the fella thought that it's okay not to mention something like that? it makes no sense, i mean personally for me it would be the lie and the porn that would get to me.

to be honest though, i would be very pee-ed off if my boyfriend told me he was a flipping teacher when he was really a mechanic or something, it's not the job he's doing it's the lies. i dont understand how she didn't know either though, i mean if after 5 months they were going to get married then surely they should be at the living in each others back pockets stage like me and my partner are, i would know because i would ASK everything, because i want to know everything about his life.

as far as i'm concerned he done a very bad thing by lying to her etc, but she shouldn't have got so wrapped in the fairytale story of getting married as soon as possible before she actually knew the person. i'm only 18 but i appreciate that life isn't a bloody fairytale, life can be hard, relationships go through trauma, but if you GET TO KNOW SOMEONE enough, then you may be ready for marriage, for love and for forever. obviously she did not know him well enough to even be considering marriage. if i'm honest i though after a year and a half my and martner were rushing inot getting engaged, but even though we both live with out parents the only nights we spend apart is once every fortnight when we see out separate friends, sorry about the long post but the sotry had angered me

Also lubyanka, everytime i read one of your posts i crave tuna. i blame you for this weight i've put on!! Lol

Vampyrewillow wrote:

Also lubyanka, everytime i read one of your posts i crave tuna. i blame you for this weight i've put on!! Lol

Ok -

1. My cunning secret identity as spy tuna promoter is out of the bag, oh noez!
2. Tuna is an oily fish, it isn't fattening
3. Unless you add mayonnaise, and I haven't been pimping mayonnaise
4. I cannot be held responsible for anybody overdosing on mayonnaise

I'm sure you look hotter than mustard no matter what you weigh.  :)

Lubyanka wrote:

2.    Tuna is an oily fish, it isn't fattening

You have just made my day, i am going to officially enjoy as much tuna as i like without feeling guilty! 

( God knows who i'm going to blame for weight gain now!)

 Tuna is a guilt-free indulgence.  I blame gravity for weight gain.  Gravity sucks.  :p

Lubyanka wrote:

 Tuna is a guilt-free indulgence.  I blame gravity for weight gain.  Gravity sucks.  :p

Gravity attracts or 'pulls' actually!

WandA wrote:

Lubyanka wrote:

 I blame gravity for weight gain.  Gravity sucks.  :p

Gravity attracts or 'pulls' actually!

I know, however it could be argued that pulling and sucking are loose synonyms.

Besides, I thought my way was funnier.  :p

Tuna ? ? ?

how did we get to Tuna?

Not an open relationship,  .... being a porn actor should have been high on the list of things to tell at an early stage of a relationship.

Yep, he should be dumped .... but thinking of getting married after just 5 months

Lubyanka wrote:

 

WandA wrote:

Lubyanka wrote:

 I blame gravity for weight gain.  Gravity sucks.  :p

Gravity attracts or 'pulls' actually!

I know, however it could be argued that pulling and sucking are loose synonyms.

Besides, I thought my way was funnier.  :p

Ignore me really. Pedents*  P me off!

* If I was pedantic this would of been recified!

The way they kill tuna- it can be a guilt trip if you've seen the films. For example Mitsubishi, yep THE Mitsubishi are currently catching the ever dwindling blue fin tuna population and freezing them all. Their corporate thinking being they can sell them for shedfulls of money when they become extinct!! Kinda gives the lie to their whale hunting for medical research purposes methinks.....

Yep and while they are out there fishing they like nothing better than to watch porn stars performing on their teeny screens!!! -phew.

TB 

 Despite my usually liberal views I think he should have confessed in advance.. Health and honesty are major issues in any partnership and what he was up to was pretty much public domain.

he shouldve guessed she was gonna find out! honesty is always the best policy! x

Hiya Frenchie, missed you again damn!!!

TB