convince her to shave / wax

 Dear all,

Need your advice. I would love to see my OH bare down there or tidied up. Have dropped several hints but concern is the need for regular "maintenance". Once she did, it was very uncomfortable, she even bled a bit after waxing. it was also very itchy for the next few weeks and has not repeated the experience. 

How do you girls manage? What do you use? and how can I convince her to do the same?

 I think essentially, she is going to have to want to do it.  And each person's reasons for wanting to are different.  So the question is, why should she want to?

Bribe her with increased oral sex? LMAO

Also, she could be using moisturiser etc so reassure her that there are things to do to reduce or even remove the discomfort!

The only thing that considerably improved my reaction to and tollerance of shaving was doing it more often. I will admit the primary thing that pushed me towards it was reading about the increased sensation etc...

tbh, if it isnt something she's keen on, that may well just have to be the way it is...

Have you suggested shaving to her? I notice you said she waxed, and god, you couldnt pay me enough money to wax down there!

I shave mine frequently though, and it's really not that bad. As you get more used to it it becomes easier and easier. I can't imagine having a fully grown bush now! Being bare is just so much more convenient and feels alot nicer.

Here I go again,  BUT - why the obsession with pubic hair removal?   it doesn't make a blind bit of difference!

Why would you "LOVE" her to do it?   She's already tried it, didn't like it ( neither do I  but I tried it for myself , my hubby couldn't care less)  , so what's the issue?

Isn't she good enough for you in her natural state?   Would you like to shave your bits every single day ?  'cos that's what it takes to stay even remotely smooth.   Do you even realise just how itchy it is, it actually spoiled sex for us both when my hair was growing back.

For goodness sake it's a bit of body hair, not barbed wire - It doesn't make sex better in any way shape or form , people are being brainwashed into thinking it SHOULD feel nicer.

The more you "hint" , the less inclined she will probably be and she will quickly become very annoyed with you -  if women can cope with men who have moustaches and beards then men can cope with ( what is usually ) a bit of hair.

Do her ( and yourself  ) a big favour and drop it,  if she wanted to do it, she would, without any badgering from you. 

Lady Lara wrote:

Here I go again,  BUT - why the obsession with pubic hair removal?   it doesn't make a blind bit of difference!

Why would you "LOVE" her to do it?   She's already tried it, didn't like it ( neither do I  but I tried it for myself , my hubby couldn't care less)  , so what's the issue?

Isn't she good enough for you in her natural state?   Would you like to shave your bits every single day ?  'cos that's what it takes to stay even remotely smooth.   Do you even realise just how itchy it is, it actually spoiled sex for us both when my hair was growing back.

For goodness sake it's a bit of body hair, not barbed wire - It doesn't make sex better in any way shape or form , people are being brainwashed into thinking it SHOULD feel nicer.

The more you "hint" , the less inclined she will probably be and she will quickly become very annoyed with you -  if women can cope with men who have moustaches and beards then men can cope with ( what is usually ) a bit of hair.

Do her ( and yourself  ) a big favour and drop it,  if she wanted to do it, she would, without any badgering from you. 

when you go bare down there, the first few times yes its gonna be itchy and stubly the first few times you do it but you have to keep on doing it till you get past this, ive been shaving mine all off for a quite a few years now and i have no problem what so ever with itchying, in growing hairs ect ect. if you want to be hairless down there its something you have to keep up with till you body has got used to it, and it does get used to it. and you get into a routen with shaving, when i do my legs i do everywhere eles i shave which means i shave a max of twice a week. i dont find it a chore, its just part of my beauty peperations, like washing my face and putting on face cream after.

just beacouse you have done this ones and didnt like it doesnt mean its a bad thing and that other people shouldnt want to try it. and to say that it doesnt make any differance what so ever you cant really judge that if you have only tryed it once and reacted bad to it, i find that yes i do get more sensations and i also like the fact that it makes me feel very very clean, i could never go back to having any hair.

i do agree with you that she shouldnt be pushed into something she doesnt want to do, no one should be. but as she has had a wax before, she has obviously been intreased in the idea of going hair free, so maybe the best thing would be if she is still intreased is to give shaveing a go but for her to know that you have to keep doing it for a while for the body to get use to it and stop having reactions to the shaveing. (and she will def stop reacting to the shaveing if she keeps up with it).

Hi niceguy and welcome from me to the forums (don't think I've said hi before)

Why don't you suggest having a nice bath or shower together and then you offer to let her give you a trim (or a shave if you are feeling brave)? And then you give her a nice trim (and only a trim this first time) in return? That's what my OH and I tried when the subject of pubic hair came up, and to be honest, we haven't flet the need to go any further than a regular trim. Good luck.

Diamonds, if you only have to shave twice a week then consider yourself extremely lucky  - I would honestly have to shave every single day to stay smooth for just a few hours, I can shave my armpits at night and in the morning I have regrowth, same with my bikini line - some of us are much hairier than others, I tried shaving, wax and veet and itchy regrowth was the same in each case.

My hubby says that oral sex on stubble is far less appealing than on natural hairy labia, and as I get stubble the very same day that I remove the hair, well, there you go, if he needs a shave too then it's doubly scratchy.

The only reason I'm keeping my undercarriage trimmed is because once the hair gets to half an inch long it becomes unbearably spiky. and actually makes me sore.

I honestly wish I'd never bothered in the 1st place,  the only reason I tried it was from reading how it felt really good for both of you, you feel a lot more, yada, yada - NOT me I'm afraid and not my hubby - he said that whatever I did, please don't shave it all off, he thinks it's the least sexy thing he's ever seen when women are completely de-pubed and when I went with completely bald labia, he just said ergh, what the hell have you done that for?

If a person honestly thinks that having their partner bald is going to make them "more sexy" , I find that very sad indeed,  Any man who would be put off because you haven't shaved your pubes / legs or armpits isn't worth bothering about,  sex is primal and earthy, sqeaky clean and hairless bodies  aren't sexy , just sterile.   Asking someone to shave is akin to asking them to use anitbacterial gel before touching you -  in my eyes, it's just not necessary and even a bit insulting.

niceguy wrote:

 Dear all,

Need your advice. I would love to see my OH bare down there or tidied up. Have dropped several hints but concern is the need for regular "maintenance". Once she did, it was very uncomfortable, she even bled a bit after waxing. it was also very itchy for the next few weeks and has not repeated the experience. 

How do you girls manage? What do you use? and how can I convince her to do the same?

Hello again niceguy,

Having read your original post again, I noticed that you said you'd dropped several hints about pubic grooming.  I was wondering if you'd ever sat down with your partner and discussed this with her explicitly?  

If this is important to you (for whatever reason), I think your partner might be more willing to accommodate you if she were fully aware of your feelings on the subject.  And I think you might more easily manage an agreeable compromise if you were more fully aware of her feelings on the subject.

Just a thought.  Explicit discussion always works well for me, and I thought it might work well for you too.  :)

LL, I know *you* dislike it, but that doesnt make anyone who does want it "sad". I find it sexier without, and I know my man prefers me like this. (For the record, I've shaved for years, not just when I got together with him so it wasn't his influence!)

As for the statement "it doesnt make a blind bit of difference" - again maybe not for *you* but for others it can - I am one of the many who experience hightened sensation, and find myself hornier when shaven due to the feel of it etc. You say you find it insulting if a man prefered this / asked for it... I'd find a man like your hubby offensive; saying "eugh" at being shaven! - do you see what i mean?Everyone is different and he's allowed to want his partner to try it - it'd be a different issue if he was going to pin her down and do it!

Niceguy Hi hun.  Echoing what the others have said here I know but; ultimately she has to want to do it.  A good, open chat would be good, but no pressure on her eh?  If you have a good relationship and talk openly together it shouldn't do any harm whether she decides to have a go or not. You will both know how the other feels and why which is healthy in a relationship

Lady Lara Just why is it that this seemingly offends you so?  I understand that you very much disliked it when you tried for yourself.  I also understand that it made no positive difference for you.  Surely though, you are smart enough to realise that we are all made differently.  Just because you got nothing from it, is not to say other don't.

For example; I do find it makes an enormous difference to the sensations for me personally.  I love the feeling of skin/lips against my skin; yet I get very little pleasant sensation when there is hair there.  This is also true when playing by myself - in fact during my last relationship we went through a period of nearly a year with no sexual contact at all.  In all this time I continued to shave - for myself, as I prefer it greatly. Yes, I too shave every day.  This doesn't bother me at all, just a few extra minutes in the bath.  I also wash my hair and brush my teeth daily; it's never bothered me at all.  In fact, my ex preferred more hair.  Please don't jump to the conclusion that it is always done for the man. 

As for it being 'sad' to find it sexier.  Again, why - exactly? I mean, some people find green eyes sexier than brown, and vice versa.  I'm sure your man always finds you sexy, but I am also sure there are certain times, or certain outfits/situations where he finds you even more so.  Is this also wrong then?  You say 'it's only hair' - well yes, precisely, so why the fuss if a woman prefers to remove it, or a man finds this sexy. 

Neither is it (for me - and many others) about 'pressure' to look a certain way.  I am a mum of two - past being ashamed of my 'bits', very 'settled' in who I am now and I chose to do this for me.  I have no desire to fit a certain media-hyped image of how a woman should be.  In fact, pre-children, when I was in my late teens/early twenties (the age range usually affected by this pressure) I didn't shave at all down there. Just legs and armpits.

Horses for courses.  While not your thing, it is not hurting anyone if others like it, is it?  I'm sure you haven't meant to, but you have actually been quite offensive to a number of people here in this post.  There is nothing 'eurgh' or 'sad' about those of us who prefer to trim/remove the hair.

I love it when my OH shaves all her hair off but. . . .

I also love it when it's on too!

Everybody's different or the world would be a boring place!

I'm sure I've said that to someone on here before??

SG69 x (I come in peace!)

Lady Lara: I can understand why you personally would not do it again, but I failt to see why once again you are lashing out at those who have different ideas to you. Some men like women's pubic mounds to be hairy, some like them to be neatly trimmed and others completely bare.

People do have different interpretations of what they find sexy, I really do fail to see why another person's opinion matters enough to you that you would call them sad!

Is there any difference to a woman saying that she finds a man with short hair sexy? Or a man that says he finds long hair sexy? I would personally shave myself completely bald down there if a woman preferred it, and I keep my pubic hair trimmed nicely most of the time anyway!

I personally prefer completely shaven! Partly because it feels sexy and looks sexy, but also because it makes going down on a woman much nicer in general! I am a very oral person and completely shaven means that I can kiss, suck, nibble and lick all over the pubic mound as it's rather difficult to lick or nibble if it is covered in hair! It's also incredibly sexy to slowly slide your hand into the waistband of your partner's underwear and discover that the smooth skin continues all the way down...

I love it!

Ask if there is anything she would like you to do, would she like you shaved?

Betcha Angelina Jolie's got a shaven haven!

SG69 x

 Based on these and some of Lady Lara's previous posts, if I understand her correctly, I think that whatever Lady Lara's issue is with pubic grooming in particular, I think that her problem is more with the idea of a person trying to change their partner for whatever reason, and therefore failing to accept and love their partner as they are.  

I agree that it's a fairly nasty practice to pressurise a partner to do something they don't want to, on the grounds that they'd have to do it to be sexy, and if they don't do it then they aren't sexy enough.  I've had pressure like that from partners before, and it really is an extremely unpleasant experience.  So from this perspective, I agree with Lady Lara, whilst at the same time allowing for different tastes in the groomage of pubeness department.  :)

I go for a professional Brazilian Wax every month! All you need is to find a good waxer! It took me a long time to find a good salon and a fantastic waxer! But I did! And i've never looked back! Yes.. it costs me £26 every month.. but its worth every penny!

Thank you Lubyanka - at least one person understands me and what I'm ( not too subtley) alluding  to  .

Perhaps I'm too forthright and not subtle enough in my views and am taken as brash or uptight, Nexas in particular has a real problem with virtually every word I say - maybe I remind him of his mother or something?

Back to the thread - it's fundamentally the issue of persuasion that riles me - "if you loved me you'd do it for me" or " it's much more sexy this way" etc, etc.

I have no issues with a person suggesting something that appeals to them, but for that person then to go all out to make someone do it by gathering "evidence" to bolster their "case", when the partner has expressed a definite preference against the suggestion, it becomes something altogether more sinister.

My original post was to offer up an alternative opinion than the "yes I love it" brigade - it's fine for many people but there must be plenty like me who don't think it's even remotely appealing - if the OP's partner feels as I do, then he is on a hiding to nothing by trying to cajole her into doing his bidding.

Lady Lara wrote:

Thank you Lubyanka - at least one person understands me and what I'm ( not too subtley) alluding  to  .

Perhaps I'm too forthright and not subtle enough in my views and am taken as brash or uptight, Nexas in particular has a real problem with virtually every word I say - maybe I remind him of his mother or something?

Back to the thread - it's fundamentally the issue of persuasion that riles me - "if you loved me you'd do it for me" or " it's much more sexy this way" etc, etc.

I have no issues with a person suggesting something that appeals to them, but for that person then to go all out to make someone do it by gathering "evidence" to bolster their "case", when the partner has expressed a definite preference against the suggestion, it becomes something altogether more sinister.

My original post was to offer up an alternative opinion than the "yes I love it" brigade - it's fine for many people but there must be plenty like me who don't think it's even remotely appealing - if the OP's partner feels as I do, then he is on a hiding to nothing by trying to cajole her into doing his bidding.

the OP never said or come across to me that he was pressureing his OH, to me he came across as asking his partner to try something new and that his way of hinting at what he would like wasnt being picked up. he also came on here to ask for advice tips, not amination to throw at her to do something.

i think you do tend to make posts out to be something there not, making issues that are not there. i would totaly agree with you that pressuring her to do something she didnt want to do and keep bothering her would be wrong but that hasnt come across to me and some other members.