This is a posting about things getting lost (or not) in the place where the sun doesn't shine. But it may take me a little time to get round to that point. Bear with me if you can.
I'm a long-time anal player. Really long-time. You don't want to know how long.
And I'm fairly nerdy about it too. For a period of about ten years I even maintained an intricate Excel spreadsheet detailing what went up, when it went up and how long it went up for. But in 2005 I decided it was time I got a life, and that spreadsheet now exists only on my backup CDs.
I still do keep records, but not in the same obsessive detail.
When I first started that spreadsheet in 1995, my favourite toys were about 7.5 inches around where it counts, and were usually insertable to about 4 inches. And I would have been plugged for just over 18 hours a week on average.
(yes, I reloaded an old backup CD to check!)
By 2005, I was preferring to use toys that were over 5 inches insertable, and with a circumference exceeding 9.5 inches. My average weekly plugged time had gone up to 108 hours! Think about it! That's more than 15 hours per day, on average. Average!!! Sometimes I would go a whole week with one toy or another snuggled against my sphincter, taking relief only when nature insisted that I do so!
I tell you all this so that you'll know I'm not exactly a beginner at this game.
Over the years, I think I've gone half and half between [a] toys that fill the bum but still peek out (ie, the traditional 'plug' concept), and [b] toys that pass all the way inside, allowing the sphincter to close.
Let's forget about [a] for now. I could write screeds about buttplugs (and I probably shall, at various times in the future), but this posting concerns the toys that might, just might, get lost inside.
Allegedly.
But I maintain that you can't ever really lose anything up there.
Let's face it, the intestine/colon/rectum tube is just that - a tube. It has only 2 ways out - the top end, and the, er, bottom end. The whole shebang is equipped with peristaltic muscles that move things towards the bottom end. So basically, what goes up must come down.
If you're incredibly stupid you might insert something that's got an odd, irregular shape to it. A crucifix, for example, or a monkey wrench. Items like this don't get lost, they get stuck. Stuck isn't the same as lost.
My favourite completely-insertable toy, currently, is a three-inch diameter, shiny stone ball. The sort you buy in posh department stores to put in your fruit bowl when you're too mean to buy actual fruit. I got it for 25p in a sale 4 years ago, and I'd guess it's been through my sphincter at least 10,000 times since then! I like it because it always makes its presence known - it weighs a pound and three quarters. And I reckon gravity alone ensures that it never goes in me further than the rectal cavity.
Another favourite of mine is those musical Chinese steel balls. Remember? Back in the eighties you'd buy two, nestling in an ornate (and very Chinese-looking) box. Usually they were enamelled, but the ones I've got are plain steel balls. I like to insert one at the start of the day, and (apart from the occasional muted jingly sound!) I can completely forget about it for the next 15 hours or more! I haven't lost one yet! It's always waiting at the usual place to emerge!
I once inserted four ordinary-size eating apples one after another. This took a long time (and tons of lube, and some squirted air) to achieve. I used 2 fingers to push the first two apples as high as possible, because they had to go into the colon to leave room in the rectal cavity for the third and fourth apples. The sensation was amazing! When the time came to end my fun, the 4th and 3rd apples emerged at once in the normal way. Pressing my finger deep inside me I could just feel apple no.2, but it was well out of reach. So I stood up, and let gravity do its work. Within 2 minutes it had dropped to snuggle against the inside of my pucker. I expelled it, and apple no.1 followed a minute later. I never had the slightest fear that any of my apples would fail to emerge.
I have based my views on extensive, careful personal experimentation, not on medical knowledge or experience. If any of you have genuine knowledge or data to contradict my empirical findings, please don't keep it to yourself. If there really IS a danger that a smooth, regular-shaped object could get lost inside me, perhaps I need to be warned!
Greebo
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