We-Vibe 3 Poetry Competition!

 A list of the best things about Lovehoney

Well to start they have great value for money.

They have customer service that really can’t be beat.

And don’t worry about packaging, it’s very discreet.

Lelo, Tantus and even Cal Exotics

Plus some Lingerie that is truly erotic.

They add new items more and more each day

But the site is well laid out, so you won’t lose your way.

Their shipping is fast, did I mention it’s free?

So don’t worry when paying, there’s no hidden fee.

Love to dominate or revel in submission

They’ve all kinds of gear to help with your mission.

They’ve jelly willies, dildos, vibrators and more

Enough to fill your house from ceiling to floor.

So go on to Lovehoney and start your sex toy addiction

With their great prices it won’t be a costly affliction.

Pam Ayres has got nothing on you lot!

Great stuff indeed! SG x

Bondage  or Beginner, Innocent or Sinner

You’re on to a winner at Lovehoney UK

There’s product explanation, that tempt exploration,  

There’s sex toys for couples, and hot lingerie;

There’s sex guides and forums and genuine reviews

from pleasuring your partner to choosing your lubes

There’s sex swings for sexperts and guilty pleasures for prudes

So check out Lovehoney, make love and let loose

 If you are kinky, go down to...

Lovehoney who is perfect for you.

Several sections

with wide selections,

of lubes, toys or lingerie

many things what will make your day.

With bargain prices, why have just one item?

Pick a few things don't be frighten.

If you are unsure, read the reviews,

they will help you pick and choose.

You just need to simply click

, to get them delivered super quick.

Free delivery, so do not fret,

it will not leave you in debt.

You'll get it soon, just you see,

then you can enjoy yourself as much as can be.

If you can, write a review

it helps others just like you.

Next time you come on site,

drop by the forums day or night.

Post some tips or meet some friends,

give advice and make some mends.

  Either way, whatever you do,

we will look forward to meeting you!

There once was a woman from Bath,
Who was bored with her other half.
So she popped in a toy,
For erotic joy,
And now Lovehoney employs her as staff.

 LMAO Hella! Love it!! 

 There was a man from Poole,

who couldn't stop stroking his jewel

his wife threatened divorce

because he was hung like a horse

and she bought herself a battery operated tool

There once was a man from Nantucket. . .

(on second thought, I'd better not!)

Mary had a We-Vibe,

she wore it back to front...

when all aroused she dipped it in her 

soft wet lubricant  

Loving, caressing, stimulating my honey

Our excitement increased by the buzzing

Very sexily the lingerie accentuates me

Ever so sensually, I get him begging

Higher the tension, higher the groans

Our night is complete with satisfactory moans

Next day, another adventure enfolds

Eagerly awaiting, a surprise, I’m told

Yearning the goodies, Lovehoney holds.

Vibrators are red,
Cock rings are blue, 
Lovehoney have excellent products
and customer care too!

 I went down to Lovehoney,

to buy something for my money

its big and its fat,

and it goes up my tw*t

and it buzzes and makes me go runny.

If you have a kinky ploy,

and you need that certain toy.

Head down to Lovehoney,

try out the vibrator bunny

and experience utter orgasmic joy.

Lovehoney...

The #1 place to spend most of your money.

WIth lingerie & toys...

Some stuff for the boys...

Books for the ladies,

and things to prevent babies!

Head on to the community...

There is plenty of opportunity...

To become a tester of toys

and make lots of noise!

Join in with the discussion...

There are 10 to the dozen!

Pay for your stuff...

and interestingly enough,

its sent discreetly,

all nice and neatly

so let me show you the way...

to lovehoney.co.uk

 There was a woman who was at depair,

because she need a toy in her lair,

She logged on to Love honey,

found herself a bunny,

and jumped for joy in the air

 Deal of the day?! I must grab it!

Be it nipple clamps, handcuffs or rabbit

The excellent price

And free postage (how nice!)

Have made it something of a habit...

 If you go to the Love honey site,

they stock everything you think they might,

Thing for your fella's dick,

and clips and balm's for your clit

Have you ever known such pleasures delight?

With hundreds of items in stock,

things for a clit or cock

do not depair,

they also have things to wear

all of which will make your bed rock

Lovehoney.co.uk
Is the place to come and play

With lots to buy
From toys to knee highs
Need never go elsewhere again

Delivered straight to ur door
For you to adore 
And play with over and over again

My second attempt at a poem: hopefully a better one this time. Just to mention: it's a sonnet in iambic pentameter, except for the third stanza. I realised that it's rather impossible to name sex toys while keeping the structure and rhythm so opted for a different one to give a more excited feel to the poem. I hope the change actually works...

Of what I’ve learned, to see the summer sun

Would be to feel the very glow of life.

Planting within our hearts the drive for fun

For now, this day, to end the daily strife.

No need for shame, for it is not a jest.

They stock abundantly, in thoughtfulness,

The warming tools of love to help you rest

And sent to you, discreet, with happiness.

Clitoral vibrators for every girl’s whim,

Fleshlights and butt plugs for any man’s need

An honest response to their toys, be it grim,

Or a fantastic plethora of pleasure that does not recede.

For you, my dear Lovehoney, ever kind,

The best, the rest forevermore would find.