• Confidence!?!

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    bex1213 [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    Do you live near a river?

    If you start your coursework it might just help to take your mind off things.

    I literally live on the banks of one. It's not fun at the moment.

    I have started the work, I'm a quarter of the way through, but it's just all so overwhelming. It's very complex stuff and I'm having to work on applications at the same time. Plus, my grandad is in hospital so it's all just piling up and adding to my stress.

    I think I'm just taking it out on myself in a way. Like, my body is something I feel I should be in control of but I'm deeply unhappy with every aspect of it.

    Tough times.

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Well you need to do what I did. Start taking an interest in your own body. Buy the right clothes ,right hair do etc etc. Once you start loving yourself ,others will take an interest or if you already have a partner they will notice first and should support you. But I like to bet you look good anyway but just a bit low and perhaps worried about the floods. I am guessing you must live in the North West like me or Yorkshire.

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    Bigduke [sign in to see picture]
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    There are some lovely sentiments and comments on here which are nice to read.

    From my perspective beauty is more than skin deep and more than a specific shape or size . This time of year as well a lot of people suddenly feel the need to diet or fit someone's stereotype of what they think is right. My other half sometimes says she feels fat or overweight (I think everyone does at some point) my thinking is you are who you are ... Love yourself for who you are not what others expect you to be. I mean really ... Who decided what was the correct shape or size? Plus what makes them fit to make that assumption?

    Love who you are, enjoy yourself and never change to fit a perception. You are all perfect just as you are, anything else is just preference.

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    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    I was about to start a new thread and then noticed this one.

    I just wanted to say a huge thank you to LH and all you lovely forum users.

    I have only been here for about 4 months, but in that time I have 'blossomed' from a very self and body conscious lady of a certain age, into a much more confident and self accepting lady of a certain age.

    I have not changed my body in anyway, but instead I have changed my mindset mostly down to the great advice and non judgemental views offered by fellow forum bods.

    For those of you who have helped me on my way, and I think most of you will know who I mean, I am truly grateful, and I am pretty sure my husband would like to thank you too!!!

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    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
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    That's so wonderful LNT. You are a stunning lady and I am glad that you realize it now :)

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    slinky binky [sign in to see picture]
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    Sxleksaker wrote:

    That's so wonderful LNT. You are a stunning lady and I am glad that you realize it now :)

    Couldn't agree more, LNT is beautiful inside and out and I'm super happy you finnally realise it. Also that's spot on its all about changing your mindset. I'm glad you're happy now and feeling as stunning as we see you hunni 💟xx
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    slinky binky [sign in to see picture]
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    Oooops double posted so edited lol xx
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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Sxleksaker wrote:

    That's so wonderful LNT. You are a stunning lady and I am glad that you realize it now :)

    I agree .Confidence is a big thing. It makes a bid difference .

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Also wanted to add to the above, the more confidence one has the more noticeable and desirable you become to others as well including partners.

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    popk1n [sign in to see picture]
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    lovingnewtoys, glad you can now see what everyone else around you sees (both in how you look and in the way you act) :) beautiful!

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    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    lovingnewtoys wrote:

    I was about to start a new thread and then noticed this one.

    I just wanted to say a huge thank you to LH and all you lovely forum users.

    I have only been here for about 4 months, but in that time I have 'blossomed' from a very self and body conscious lady of a certain age, into a much more confident and self accepting lady of a certain age.

    I have not changed my body in anyway, but instead I have changed my mindset mostly down to the great advice and non judgemental views offered by fellow forum bods.

    For those of you who have helped me on my way, and I think most of you will know who I mean, I am truly grateful, and I am pretty sure my husband would like to thank you too!!!

    And the posts made since my original one just prove my point. You truly are a wonderful bunch.

    Just to add, it is not just my body issues etc that seem to have improved, but I do actually feel better in my day to day life too, I actually find myself smiling and laughing more!!! Xxx

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    lovingnewtoys wrote:

    lovingnewtoys wrote:

    I was about to start a new thread and then noticed this one.

    I just wanted to say a huge thank you to LH and all you lovely forum users.

    I have only been here for about 4 months, but in that time I have 'blossomed' from a very self and body conscious lady of a certain age, into a much more confident and self accepting lady of a certain age.

    I have not changed my body in anyway, but instead I have changed my mindset mostly down to the great advice and non judgemental views offered by fellow forum bods.

    For those of you who have helped me on my way, and I think most of you will know who I mean, I am truly grateful, and I am pretty sure my husband would like to thank you too!!!

    And the posts made since my original one just prove my point. You truly are a wonderful bunch.

    Just to add, it is not just my body issues etc that seem to have improved, but I do actually feel better in my day to day life too, I actually find myself smiling and laughing more!!! Xxx

    That's the very good point I was trying to make. Other people will notice you smiling and laughing more. I have noticed it myself with my new found confidence since my weight loss. That's why my Mrs wants to keep me locked away ! Lol

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I thought I would add a few more observations as the question of confidence tends to crop up from time to time.

    A lot of it I think is in the mind. if you criticise your own body all the time then that will lower your confidence and it reflects on how you counteract with others in your behaviour .

    It was a Saturday night and one of a group of curvacious women pinched my bum at a bar we often frequent . My wife was sat down at a table and just as well perhaps she didn't see the incident! If being totally honest I found one of these ladies very attractive indeed . What was attactive about her was not perhaps just her looks but her confident persona . She exuded confidence and just wanted a good time unfortunately that included me . Rather than take offence at her pinching my bum , I smiled and winked and pointed to the 2 glasses of drinks that I had .

    The reason for that was I didn't want to dent her confidence. And why should I? . Becasue she was attacted to me she paid me a compliment perhaps slightly OTT but nevertheless a compliment. That compliment in turn boosts my own confidence , of which being honest in the past I havn't been the most confident person when it comes to the dating game, thanks in partly to my so called former mates as I have mentioned previously.

    I think there are other factors that have boosted my confidence. I think its has high as its ever been.

    Having lost all that weight has necessesitated in literally buying a new wardrobe. Just wearing oversized clothes isn't sexy iMO. So going out in new clothes being "trendy" for a change has added to my confidence.It makes me feel good about myself . Others have commented I have got by twinkle in my eyes back and I am smiling and happy when I go out and that I think is a good attribute of which others will find attractive and not just dependent on my looks as in the past.

    So to conclude confident is sexy IMO.

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    Talia [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    .....Others have commented I have got by twinkle in my eyes back and I am smiling and happy when I go out and that I think is a good attribute of which others will find attractive ....

    (What I'm writing responds to lovingnewtoys as well, but I can't add a second quote.)

    Actually, most people (I'm tempted to say all, but there might be exceptions) look much better when smiling. I've looked into swimsuits recently, and Swimwearforall have videos with tips for figure-flattering styles on their website. The thing is: The model makes a sad, depressed face in the "before" part, wearing a simple suit. And then in the flattering style she smiles happily - and she looks great! And I've noticed that in a lot of before and after pictures! On actors in tv shows as well.

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    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Talia wrote:

    mysteron wrote:

    .....Others have commented I have got by twinkle in my eyes back and I am smiling and happy when I go out and that I think is a good attribute of which others will find attractive ....

    (What I'm writing responds to lovingnewtoys as well, but I can't add a second quote.)

    Actually, most people (I'm tempted to say all, but there might be exceptions) look much better when smiling. I've looked into swimsuits recently, and Swimwearforall have videos with tips for figure-flattering styles on their website. The thing is: The model makes a sad, depressed face in the "before" part, wearing a simple suit. And then in the flattering style she smiles happily - and she looks great! And I've noticed that in a lot of before and after pictures! On actors in tv shows as well.

    OMG - never actually thought about that before, but you are so right.

    I always thought it was my body image problem that held me back so much, but have come to realise it is so much more than that. I can be feeling fat and frumpy, but if I consciously change my mind set I can actually turn things around.

    A smile and a giggle changes how I feel inside and out, and I am sure it must be the same for lots of people.

    Get laughing everyone xxxxxxxxxxxx

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Just wondering if there is a difference between confidence and shyness ? For me I do have the body confidence and confidence in myself as regards my looks etc. However if I notice someone is looking at me and whilst it gives me an ego boost , I tend to look away and I feel quite nervous. Also I would be reluctant about exposing my bod in public ,say on a beech even though I do have a nice body now with all the bumps in the right places.Another example of my shy nature. The only thing I would do the latter for would be a charity thing and then Ivwould have to grit my teeth,

    Just some thoughts

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    kinkyr [sign in to see picture]
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    What a lovely post, I am plus size, my husband left me for someone slimmer so confidence is at rock bottom, but just ordered some lingerie see I I can get back to my bubbly sexy self xx

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    First of all welcome to the forums .

    Lingerie will give you confidence as it did with my Mrs when she was plus sized. With her weightloss programme she is now an imbetween size .But lingerie like babydolls , Basques , play suits all gave her confidence and I also liked seeing her in them . They covered her bumps especially around her tummy area and gave her much more confidence in the bedroom.

    I appreciate this might be difficult to believe but people will not see you for your plus size but rather the person you are. And if you can get your bubbliness restored then that will help you .

    The other week I was chatted up by a plus size lady whilst waiting at the bar and she really was a lovely person and full of confidence of which I found sexy .I was quite under her spell for some time and if I was single who knows .

    So by whatever means once you regain your confidence you will feel and look sexier .

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    mummymermaid [sign in to see picture]
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    kinkyr wrote:

    What a lovely post, I am plus size, my husband left me for someone slimmer so confidence is at rock bottom, but just ordered some lingerie see I I can get back to my bubbly sexy self xx

    Welcome to the forum xxx so sorry to hear this...love honey lingerie has changed my life...I never thought I was sexy. My partner got with me when I was a curvy size 14..then I just got bigger and bigger..another child giving up smoking...he said he still found me sexy and wanted me but I didn't see it..until we started shopping at love honey..now I have so much lingerie and so many different types my current favourites are body stockings...and I love dressing up even having my photo taken..I've done photo shoots just for.my.partner..but also I wear the lingerie for myself I love wearing the flirty knickers and the bras for everyday too ..I go to sleep in a satin chemise..it will make you feel good it will make you look sexy...take care huni and enjoy the new sexy empowered you xxx

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