• Confidence!?!

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    I thought my husband was getting a bit fresh with me the other night, which makes a nice change! I was wearing a little t shirt that covered little and a pair of shorts. He came in to the kitchen slid his hand to my waist and pinched me waist, holding this little roll that lay there on me waist band. I looked round at him and he pulled a face, saying " yeah you're still fat there aren't you"

    Is it any wonder I have body issues!!! I work my ass off, I've dumped 3 st in just over a year, I dumped smoking t the same time, I got seriously fit! He's put on almost 3 stone, he's not sexy, he doesn't turn me on. he sleeps in front of me every single night!

    So I think I should pat myself on the back and say, you know Corinne! you've done good, so stuff him!

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    bex1213 [sign in to see picture]
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    Ozz wrote:

    I thought my husband was getting a bit fresh with me the other night, which makes a nice change! I was wearing a little t shirt that covered little and a pair of shorts. He came in to the kitchen slid his hand to my waist and pinched me waist, holding this little roll that lay there on me waist band. I looked round at him and he pulled a face, saying " yeah you're still fat there aren't you"

    Is it any wonder I have body issues!!! I work my ass off, I've dumped 3 st in just over a year, I dumped smoking t the same time, I got seriously fit! He's put on almost 3 stone, he's not sexy, he doesn't turn me on. he sleeps in front of me every single night!

    So I think I should pat myself on the back and say, you know Corinne! you've done good, so stuff him!

    Oh uh uh! That is just rude and messed up on so many levels! Has he always been like this with you?

    Sounds like he needs a good talking to and reminding about how lucky he is to have such a hot wife!

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    popk1n [sign in to see picture]
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    bex1213 wrote:

    popk1n wrote:

    bex1213 wrote:

    Confidence has always eluded me. I'm young (24, 25 on the 13th) and I feel like I should be in my physical prime but I've been plus sized since I was about 16 and I stress eat or stress starve, so being a post-grad has been tough. Not to offend anyone, but I love love LOVE that older women here are embracing their bodies and passing it down to us. Often our insecurities are bred at home, I know my mother has been obsessed with dieting since she had me and has never been happy with her body since childbirth.

    I have a constant loop of negative thoughts about my body: 'So you've lost weight but now your skin looks SO saggy!' or 'Your thighs are disgusting go for a run!' Even when my partner now (or in the past if I'm honest) compliments me, which is very regularly to his credit, I think there must be some kind of hidden motive or he's just got some kind of fat girl fetish. My own insecurity is exhausting. I generally start conversations with strangers making a fat joke about myself just to beat them to the punch. Helps to be funny but also hurts sometimes.

    This thread is so important! Thank you mummymermaid for starting it and well done for doing you.xx

    Same for the confidence, though I'm the opposite end of the spectrum to you. I am 5ft, size 6 and have A cup boobs. I look like a child tbh, in body and face (I have super chubby cheeks). It sucks that I am a WOMAN and people assume me to be so young. My partner says I'm beautiful, but honestly if he didn't already know me, and know how old I was, I don't think he would have gone near me. Just once I'd love be "sexy/hot" instead of just "cute". I once was basically told that I would never be looked at twice because "i'm cute like a 12 year old" and was told that they felt "sorry for my boyfriend".

    On the mother-related topic, I personally cannot identify, my mother makes no comment on my appearance. However, I do know a friend who got told about a family wedding and was basically told to lose weight or she wouldn't be able to fit in the bridesmaid dress and wouldn't be briesmaid. She also says her weight is sometimes the butt of mean jokes on family dinners etc. I was horrified when I heard. She has a BEAUTIFUL body. Ok, she is maybe a bit chunky, but in a womanly curvy way, not a fat way. She's like a size 12 for god's sakes! I know for a fact that she is insecure (tries to come across like she's not) and she knows it's because of certain members of her family being unnecessarily critical.

    Uh. Okay. I can't see your face but you do not have the body of a child. You are all woman. I totally get why being seen as very young would bother you though. My friend is almost 30 and still gets asked for her ID for much the same reason. It doesn't make you less sexy though by any means even if you feel that way.

    Basically, being fat is easy to pick on. To be fair, my mother never commented on me like this (which is disgusting behaviour from your friend's family by the way) but she put herself down a lot and I think I picked that up to some degree. I remember being told my thighs were too big to do gymnastics when I was a healthy weight at 7 years old (Yep. 7.) and I've carried that my whole life. Plus, on nights out men have called me a whale or other delightful names even if I'm just walking down the street. That being said, the ultimate blame lies with me for constantly believing them. So I just need to work on that I guess.

    Thank you for your kind words :) On the upside, I' should look fabulous for my age when I'm like 40 :D

    At 7 years old (unless the child is SERIOUSLY under/overweight) I really don't think any comments should be made unless they are positive. Like you say, it stays with you, even if the comment was just a throwaway one. Some men are jerks. Even if you're a mean enough person to THINK of calling someone a horrible, personal name, you're extremely mean if you ACTUALLY DO IT. It's a cliche but anyone who treats you or thinks of you like that is not worth your time anyway. Guess you've just got to try and fake it til you make it. Easier said than done I suppose. But keep going... you'll get there one day and think "yeah, I am darn beautiful!" x

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    popk1n [sign in to see picture]
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    Ozz wrote:

    I thought my husband was getting a bit fresh with me the other night, which makes a nice change! I was wearing a little t shirt that covered little and a pair of shorts. He came in to the kitchen slid his hand to my waist and pinched me waist, holding this little roll that lay there on me waist band. I looked round at him and he pulled a face, saying " yeah you're still fat there aren't you"

    Is it any wonder I have body issues!!! I work my ass off, I've dumped 3 st in just over a year, I dumped smoking t the same time, I got seriously fit! He's put on almost 3 stone, he's not sexy, he doesn't turn me on. he sleeps in front of me every single night!

    So I think I should pat myself on the back and say, you know Corinne! you've done good, so stuff him!

    Those thighs you possess are insane, pretty much like toned perfection! I highly doubt you have any flab going on! Seriously how can he dare make a comment like that to you?You did well to not be spiteful and grab every roll of flab on his body

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    bex1213 [sign in to see picture]
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    popk1n wrote:

    bex1213 wrote:

    popk1n wrote:

    Same for the confidence, though I'm the opposite end of the spectrum to you. I am 5ft, size 6 and have A cup boobs. I look like a child tbh, in body and face (I have super chubby cheeks). It sucks that I am a WOMAN and people assume me to be so young. My partner says I'm beautiful, but honestly if he didn't already know me, and know how old I was, I don't think he would have gone near me. Just once I'd love be "sexy/hot" instead of just "cute". I once was basically told that I would never be looked at twice because "i'm cute like a 12 year old" and was told that they felt "sorry for my boyfriend".

    On the mother-related topic, I personally cannot identify, my mother makes no comment on my appearance. However, I do know a friend who got told about a family wedding and was basically told to lose weight or she wouldn't be able to fit in the bridesmaid dress and wouldn't be briesmaid. She also says her weight is sometimes the butt of mean jokes on family dinners etc. I was horrified when I heard. She has a BEAUTIFUL body. Ok, she is maybe a bit chunky, but in a womanly curvy way, not a fat way. She's like a size 12 for god's sakes! I know for a fact that she is insecure (tries to come across like she's not) and she knows it's because of certain members of her family being unnecessarily critical.

    Uh. Okay. I can't see your face but you do not have the body of a child. You are all woman. I totally get why being seen as very young would bother you though. My friend is almost 30 and still gets asked for her ID for much the same reason. It doesn't make you less sexy though by any means even if you feel that way.

    Basically, being fat is easy to pick on. To be fair, my mother never commented on me like this (which is disgusting behaviour from your friend's family by the way) but she put herself down a lot and I think I picked that up to some degree. I remember being told my thighs were too big to do gymnastics when I was a healthy weight at 7 years old (Yep. 7.) and I've carried that my whole life. Plus, on nights out men have called me a whale or other delightful names even if I'm just walking down the street. That being said, the ultimate blame lies with me for constantly believing them. So I just need to work on that I guess.

    Thank you for your kind words :) On the upside, I' should look fabulous for my age when I'm like 40 :D

    At 7 years old (unless the child is SERIOUSLY under/overweight) I really don't think any comments should be made unless they are positive. Like you say, it stays with you, even if the comment was just a throwaway one. Some men are jerks. Even if you're a mean enough person to THINK of calling someone a horrible, personal name, you're extremely mean if you ACTUALLY DO IT. It's a cliche but anyone who treats you or thinks of you like that is not worth your time anyway. Guess you've just got to try and fake it til you make it. Easier said than done I suppose. But keep going... you'll get there one day and think "yeah, I am darn beautiful!" x

    Haha. First time anyone on LH forum has given the advice to fake it! xx

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    popk1n [sign in to see picture]
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    bex1213 wrote:

    popk1n wrote:

    bex1213 wrote:

    popk1n wrote:

    Same for the confidence, though I'm the opposite end of the spectrum to you. I am 5ft, size 6 and have A cup boobs. I look like a child tbh, in body and face (I have super chubby cheeks). It sucks that I am a WOMAN and people assume me to be so young. My partner says I'm beautiful, but honestly if he didn't already know me, and know how old I was, I don't think he would have gone near me. Just once I'd love be "sexy/hot" instead of just "cute". I once was basically told that I would never be looked at twice because "i'm cute like a 12 year old" and was told that they felt "sorry for my boyfriend".

    On the mother-related topic, I personally cannot identify, my mother makes no comment on my appearance. However, I do know a friend who got told about a family wedding and was basically told to lose weight or she wouldn't be able to fit in the bridesmaid dress and wouldn't be briesmaid. She also says her weight is sometimes the butt of mean jokes on family dinners etc. I was horrified when I heard. She has a BEAUTIFUL body. Ok, she is maybe a bit chunky, but in a womanly curvy way, not a fat way. She's like a size 12 for god's sakes! I know for a fact that she is insecure (tries to come across like she's not) and she knows it's because of certain members of her family being unnecessarily critical.

    Uh. Okay. I can't see your face but you do not have the body of a child. You are all woman. I totally get why being seen as very young would bother you though. My friend is almost 30 and still gets asked for her ID for much the same reason. It doesn't make you less sexy though by any means even if you feel that way.

    Basically, being fat is easy to pick on. To be fair, my mother never commented on me like this (which is disgusting behaviour from your friend's family by the way) but she put herself down a lot and I think I picked that up to some degree. I remember being told my thighs were too big to do gymnastics when I was a healthy weight at 7 years old (Yep. 7.) and I've carried that my whole life. Plus, on nights out men have called me a whale or other delightful names even if I'm just walking down the street. That being said, the ultimate blame lies with me for constantly believing them. So I just need to work on that I guess.

    Thank you for your kind words :) On the upside, I' should look fabulous for my age when I'm like 40 :D

    At 7 years old (unless the child is SERIOUSLY under/overweight) I really don't think any comments should be made unless they are positive. Like you say, it stays with you, even if the comment was just a throwaway one. Some men are jerks. Even if you're a mean enough person to THINK of calling someone a horrible, personal name, you're extremely mean if you ACTUALLY DO IT. It's a cliche but anyone who treats you or thinks of you like that is not worth your time anyway. Guess you've just got to try and fake it til you make it. Easier said than done I suppose. But keep going... you'll get there one day and think "yeah, I am darn beautiful!" x

    Haha. First time anyone on LH forum has given the advice to fake it! xx

    haha well yes I am not condoning faking in ALL situations ;) x

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    mummymermaid [sign in to see picture]
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    Hiya all and thanks for posting...I.Love hearing all your body positive posts...I have had an attack of low confidence just lately..but with your help and the shape yes we are a couple but have separate accounts, he writes lovely poems for me i am a lucky girl xxx. I am getting on it again. The thing is it's so hard sometimes...because to be beautiful you have to look a certain way, dress a certain way, if your big you should diet. If your too thin you must eat more. And if I feel sexy ,I then feel no, I can't be because I don't look like this or I don't wear that...well stuff it..I have quit slimming world because actually I have no weight related health issues I like my clothes and can't afford to buy smaller ones and actually hasn't the amazing beautiful plus size model on lovehoney proved that big is as sexy as hell ( she is my friend on instagram i have a total girl crush 😍) so yes some may look at me and think yuck what the hell is that fat ginger woman wearing, the one with the tats and piercings. But I look at me and think i am beautiful and sexy and I am me..and that's what counts xxx

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    HappilyExperimenting [sign in to see picture]
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    *Bump* To all those men and women losing confidence over the festive period, I am bumping this thread to remind everyone that they are beautiful, no matter what shape or size they are.

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    Fozzbear [sign in to see picture]
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    I think all you lady's are gorgeous! I love the women's anatomy and the more to the lovely lady the better in my opinion, I don't want to cuddle a stick I want a women with some shape. And in my opinion confidence is the sexiest thing a women can have.

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Fozzbear wrote:

    I think all you lady's are gorgeous! I love the women's anatomy and the more to the lovely lady the better in my opinion, I don't want to cuddle a stick I want a women with some shape. And in my opinion confidence is the sexiest thing a women can have.

    I agree. I had a failed engagment to a stick insect . Yes I have to say we had our good times but it never worked for me in the bedroom department .Lingerie and stockings just didn't look right on her and I like to make love with my woman wearing a little something at the very least a pair of stockings. but she also has to look good in them at the same time.

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Ozz wrote:

    I thought my husband was getting a bit fresh with me the other night, which makes a nice change! I was wearing a little t shirt that covered little and a pair of shorts. He came in to the kitchen slid his hand to my waist and pinched me waist, holding this little roll that lay there on me waist band. I looked round at him and he pulled a face, saying " yeah you're still fat there aren't you"

    Is it any wonder I have body issues!!! I work my ass off, I've dumped 3 st in just over a year, I dumped smoking t the same time, I got seriously fit! He's put on almost 3 stone, he's not sexy, he doesn't turn me on. he sleeps in front of me every single night!

    So I think I should pat myself on the back and say, you know Corinne! you've done good, so stuff him!

    Apologies for the late response Ozz. I have only just seen your posting.

    I think your hubby here is very unfair and doesn't appear to offer you any encouragement . If you are exercising to loose some weght then he should be joining in with you and working with you .Thats what I would do anyway .However from you avater pictures I think you have a fabulous looking body .

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    MysticalMayhem [sign in to see picture]
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    Punch him in the face Ozz. ;P

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I thought I would revive this thread and place a post from another angle ie a blokes angle.

    Well being honest I have in my earlier years lacked confidence.I have been told on many occasions that I was a looker but being possibly in the wrong circle of friends dented my confidence.I think it is because they weren't as good looking they would say things to drag me down to their level.This had a negative impact on my confidence and I perhaps didn't have as many girlfriends and certainly not of the caliber , that I should have.

    It was only towards the latter end of my dating days that I learned to appreciate myself and look after myself so that others would notice.I think this is very important for anyone lacking confidence is that you need to love yourself first.

    I am probably more confident now than I have ever been and my Mrs is always saying that I was a prize catch for her . Since we started going out again on date nights she has observed that other women have been casting admiring eyes over me of which I just accept as a harmless compliment in the way I compliment you guys sometimes on this forum.

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    mummymermaid [sign in to see picture]
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    HappilyExperimenting wrote:

    *Bump* To all those men and women losing confidence over the festive period, I am bumping this thread to remind everyone that they are beautiful, no matter what shape or size they are.

    Thanks for this!!! I have put on a bit of weight and some of my bodices and corsets and Basques etc etc are tight...so I have started wearing my bodystockings...one they always fit perfect and two they hide my bumps and lumps..but are still revealing and sexy and make me feel good because they fit so well..xxx

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    mummymermaid [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    I thought I would revive this thread and place a post from another angle ie a blokes angle.

    Well being honest I have in my earlier years lacked confidence.I have been told on many occasions that I was a looker but being possibly in the wrong circle of friends dented my confidence.I think it is because they weren't as good looking they would say things to drag me down to their level.This had a negative impact on my confidence and I perhaps didn't have as many girlfriends and certainly not of the caliber , that I should have.

    It was only towards the latter end of my dating days that I learned to appreciate myself and look after myself so that others would notice.I think this is very important for anyone lacking confidence is that you need to love yourself first.

    I am probably more confident now than I have ever been and my Mrs is always saying that I was a prize catch for her . Since we started going out again on date nights she has observed that other women have been casting admiring eyes over me of which I just accept as a harmless compliment in the way I compliment you guys sometimes on this forum.

    Love this huni..hate it that other people's jealousy drag others down...so glad you have the confidence now and a Mrs that appreciates you ..thanks for sharing xxx

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    bex1213 [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    I thought I would revive this thread and place a post from another angle ie a blokes angle.

    Well being honest I have in my earlier years lacked confidence.I have been told on many occasions that I was a looker but being possibly in the wrong circle of friends dented my confidence.I think it is because they weren't as good looking they would say things to drag me down to their level.This had a negative impact on my confidence and I perhaps didn't have as many girlfriends and certainly not of the caliber , that I should have.

    It was only towards the latter end of my dating days that I learned to appreciate myself and look after myself so that others would notice.I think this is very important for anyone lacking confidence is that you need to love yourself first.

    I am probably more confident now than I have ever been and my Mrs is always saying that I was a prize catch for her . Since we started going out again on date nights she has observed that other women have been casting admiring eyes over me of which I just accept as a harmless compliment in the way I compliment you guys sometimes on this forum.

    This is a brilliant addition to this thread. Absolutely this is not just a woman's issue. It's unbelievable the amount of pressure we put on each other across genders. Well done for finally gaining that confidence.x

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    bex1213 [sign in to see picture]
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    Having the worst time of it tonight. Everything that should be delicate and petite is bloody massive and everything that should be big is too small. Ugh. Hate it all.

    I know this is supposed to be a confidence thread but sometimes it's just impossible to love anything about myself. I don't want to be crazy but I just can't help it.

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    bex1213 wrote:

    Having the worst time of it tonight. Everything that should be delicate and petite is bloody massive and everything that should be big is too small. Ugh. Hate it all.

    I know this is supposed to be a confidence thread but sometimes it's just impossible to love anything about myself. I don't want to be crazy but I just can't help it.

    Why what's changed from yesterday? I know your avater picture doesn't show much but what is on show is pleasing to my eye.

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    bex1213 [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    bex1213 wrote:

    Having the worst time of it tonight. Everything that should be delicate and petite is bloody massive and everything that should be big is too small. Ugh. Hate it all.

    I know this is supposed to be a confidence thread but sometimes it's just impossible to love anything about myself. I don't want to be crazy but I just can't help it.

    Why what's changed from yesterday? I know your avater picture doesn't show much but what is on show is pleasing to my eye.

    Thank you.

    To be honest, not a lot. I've just been at a really low point with my self esteem. I think it might be related to stress. My house is on the severe flooding warning and my coursework is due in a week and I've not even started some of it.

    Tonight I went out feeling good and then halfway through I saw a picture of myself and just sank. It's a regular thing at the moment.x

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Do you live near a river?

    If you start your coursework it might just help to take your mind off things.

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