• Confidence!?!

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    Sassygal wrote:

    Glad you liked it Ozzy, was lovely to see such a positive thread - I just had to join in!

    I'm so glad you did Sassygal. I just wish more would join in. It's such an important topic this one.

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    mummymermaid [sign in to see picture]
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    Ozz wrote:

    Oh no!!! I've had one very lge child and it's left me with a saggy pooch (apron). I can't let my OH even touch it! I have my hysterectomy scar right under it which doesn't help me in the least!

    I hate him even looking at it, I hate looking at it and try very hard to get it smaller with constant workouts! Losing 3 stone hasn't helped it either. But it's so much smaller to what it was, but I have to have it covered during any kind of intemacy, be it my vesty top being pulled down to cover it or something! the rest of my body, well it is what it is, my ass isn't great but I'm still working on that.

    They say love the skin you're in but that can be very hard to do.

    WillC wrote:

    Example...last night we got intimate,my wife commented on her `flabby` belly,she hasn`t had kids so her belly is just a normal curvy belly which at 51 is what you`d expect! I just said `it`s perfect` and began to kiss it.It really does frustrate me that women are so harsh on themselves!

    Aww yes we really are willc...luckily we have lovely men like boosting our confidence..because you do..even if seems that we brush you off or just agree with you and seem like we don't believe you..in the end it does sink in..

    Aww ozz i am sorry to here that. You boost everyone on here and are lovely..it's a shame you don't get that at home...I love your pictures you look very sexy in each one..amazing weight loss too huni..I think your amazing xxx

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    mummymermaid [sign in to see picture]
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    Sassygal wrote:

    What a wonderful thread!
    I have been an unhappy size 22, a very bubbly & confident size 14 (with such fantastic g size boobs) & now I am a far less confident size 8! So I am full of the same body issues & hang ups!
    It's so much more about How you feel/how someone else makes you feel about yourself (& not your size).
    I am still mourning the loss of my bouncy full bosoms (I'm sure my hubby is too) but even the two saggy pancakes are still great sexy sensitive breasts and of course he still plays with them with glee! They are boobs! He's a straight man, of course, he is still thrilled!!
    It has taken a lot of time to not care about my body issues in the bedroom (& that doesn't translate to the outside world so easily!!) but I worked out, something really simple, if I want to get the best out of sexy time, the only person my hang ups were hindering was myself!
    Now I let go & think, why worry about how my tummy/boobs/butt are hanging - and just think about how good it feels?!! At that moment it's not a fashion show & I want a great sex!
    Of course, I do make every effort to look as good as possible for sexy times, it certainly helps to help me feel good (& I love an outfit that covers my tummy) but women everywhere ... Let's accept who we are...sexy, really bloody sexy! I hope you all get told that today, but if not... You are bloody sexy & amazing & deserve fantastic sexy times! Size be damned xxx

    Funny enough i was really happy when I was a size 14 too!

    I love what you have written..you put what I want to say a lot better than what I managed! Thank you for adding to this thread huni..your amazing! Xxx

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    HappilyExperimenting wrote:

    Such nice things said in this thread, but let's remember our men too girls, they need confidence! How do you compliment your guy and let him know you think he's sexy and loved? Keep it coming with the confidence tips and stories, I like reading this thread :)

    Ooh yes!!! Can't be leaving our men folk out very good point! I tell mine I love his legs..they are rugby player legs very shapely and muscley...and of course I compliment him on his magic fingers ^^ xxx

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    mummymermaid [sign in to see picture]
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    era wrote:

    HappilyExperimenting wrote:

    Such nice things said in this thread, but let's remember our men too girls, they need confidence! How do you compliment your guy and let him know you think he's sexy and loved? Keep it coming with the confidence tips and stories, I like reading this thread :)

    Fantastic idea the expansion to the guys!

    My husband is convinced to be ugly, has always been convinced of that as he never got ladies' attention before mine! However, I find him very attractive ten years on, I love his back and face, and hair and even that he has the perfect amount of "manly" bodyhair where he needs to (according both to his and my opinions)... And I constantly let him know that. I also like his penis very much, and he sure knows that! ;). I do not however hide what I don't like of him, because I don't believe anyone has a perfect body and I am not blind to the defects, and I don't want to sound untruthful either giving him only compliments. So we are very open and honest about both the stuff we love and the ones we don't like so much on each other's bodies. But we are just like that, we manage also to joke and be ironical about our bodies, both positive and negative traits. I also help him make more "stylish" choices in clothing (we joke around saying I'm his personal stylist), but I don't force my tastes on him. I just respect what he likes and work with that and he has thanked me for boosting his confidence up this way several times! :)

    Awww that's really lovely huni..lucky guy!!! Xxx

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    mummymermaid wrote:

    Ozz wrote:

    Oh no!!! I've had one very lge child and it's left me with a saggy pooch (apron). I can't let my OH even touch it! I have my hysterectomy scar right under it which doesn't help me in the least!

    I hate him even looking at it, I hate looking at it and try very hard to get it smaller with constant workouts! Losing 3 stone hasn't helped it either. But it's so much smaller to what it was, but I have to have it covered during any kind of intemacy, be it my vesty top being pulled down to cover it or something! the rest of my body, well it is what it is, my ass isn't great but I'm still working on that.

    They say love the skin you're in but that can be very hard to do.

    WillC wrote:

    Example...last night we got intimate,my wife commented on her `flabby` belly,she hasn`t had kids so her belly is just a normal curvy belly which at 51 is what you`d expect! I just said `it`s perfect` and began to kiss it.It really does frustrate me that women are so harsh on themselves!

    Aww yes we really are willc...luckily we have lovely men like boosting our confidence..because you do..even if seems that we brush you off or just agree with you and seem like we don't believe you..in the end it does sink in..

    Aww ozz i am sorry to here that. You boost everyone on here and are lovely..it's a shame you don't get that at home...I love your pictures you look very sexy in each one..amazing weight loss too huni..I think your amazing xxx

    It's okay, but thanks for your sweet comments huni, you're pretty dam amazing yourself! xxx

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    This thread is wonderful!

    I am so lucky with my wonderful partner. He lovely every inch, pound, spot, hair, that there is on me. He's given me now alot of confidence to embrace who I am, and to know it IS ok to be a size 16/18/20 as long as I am happy. I was bullied all through school and into early years of college, and it battered my confidence about my appearance. I have always been a bit outgoing and have been known not to back down on things, but really accepting myself on the outside has been difficult, I always seem to be battling with my weight and trying to get slimmer.

    When really, all this energy I spend wishing I was thinner etc would be better spent on what I do like about myself instead of concentrating on the negatives surely? So that's what I've tried to do. I've always been scared /felt silly dressing up in sexy underwear because I just haven't found anything that fits well and didn't have a partner that appriciated me. I actually ordered 2 body stockings from Love Honey a couple of weeks ago and I recieved a couple of items this morning, including a bustier and a chemise and I FEEL SO F*****G HOT. I've never owned anything like this before, but now I feel like I have literally emabarked on a whole new life adventure of rocking my sexy ass in bed.

    But all of this aside, and this is important.. you have to talk to yourself as you would your bestfriend. Would you tell your bestfriend she is "fat"? Would you tell your bestfriend she can't eat a chocolate bar because she is already overweight? Life is short, and this goes for men and women. It is simply no good when you have put on your wooden cape to think "if only" or "I wish", because then it is too late. You need to stop putting yourself down, find and do whatever it is that makes you feel good and just go for it. Life is too short to do anything else. And really, are there not worse things to be other than "fat"? It would be worse to be bitter, aggressive, violent, surely? Focus on the positives, no one is perfect, we are only human.

    Rant over, there's no need to be so hard and critical on ourselves, no one gets out of here alive afterall!

    “A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely." - Roald Dahl.

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    WillC wrote:

    None of us get through life without scars...physical,mental,male or female,they just prove we`ve lived! Embrace those blemishes,they give us character.

    +1ing this :)
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    sugarboobies2232 - "“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely." - Roald Dahl."

    I remember this quote from reading The Twits when I was little, that book was so funny when I was young! I wish I'd taken away this quote specifically rather than remembering all the disgusting things Mr Twit liked to eat hahaha. It would have served me much better in life :)

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    HappilyExperimenting wrote:

    sugarboobies2232 - "“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely." - Roald Dahl."

    I remember this quote from reading The Twits when I was little, that book was so funny when I was young! I wish I'd taken away this quote specifically rather than remembering all the disgusting things Mr Twit liked to eat hahaha. It would have served mTe much better in life :)

    Yes I remember reading it too, but it is such a lovely saying it's a shame I only recently stumbled back across it!

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    This thread is so refreshing and positive it makes me glad that I came back to LH today lol :-)

    I'm also glad I'm not the only one that feels like this, I've always felt torn with my body image because going by the size and numbers I think I should care and I feel like I should be upset by my body, but when I look in the mirror I think I look fine - yes I'm overweight but my waist is slimmer than my hips and boobs and my wrists and ankles are smooth not rolled so ive always considered myself to be in proportion just a bit larger... This is how hubby describes me too which I adore because I appreciate his honesty whilst he's still complimenting or defending me (let's face it there's no point trying to say I'm not large when I weigh 17 stone id rather be told that I am but that is doesn't matter)

    When I was younger and guys would come on to me I used to tell them I was a lesbian just because I assumed they weren't serious and were just playing games - I was thinner then (and 2 kids fewer) but even though I didn't hate myself - I thought I was just weird and had almost reverse body confidence issues (seeing myself better than I was) and that surely no-one else found me attractive lol

    Ahh the human brain and what it does to us!

    I'm glad I've grown up a bit, I still have some hang ups and bad days but overall seeing the different people in the world and talking to so many lovely groups has helped me understand myself more and focus on what I do like and realise I may as well enjoy it because there will always be people that do and don't like something

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    XD love your confidence !

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    mummymermaid wrote:

    Its amazing to hear all this! Thank you all so much for sharing...i should listen to my partner more..he says the most lovely things sometimes .i promise to listen more and know he means it xxx

    My beautiful, sexy, amazing lady,

    You are incredible, beautiful and sexy. You are the passion that drives me, the moonlight in the dark, the fire in my soul...

    I love you xxxx

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    theshape wrote:

    mummymermaid wrote:

    Its amazing to hear all this! Thank you all so much for sharing...i should listen to my partner more..he says the most lovely things sometimes .i promise to listen more and know he means it xxx

    My beautiful, sexy, amazing lady,

    You are incredible, beautiful and sexy. You are the passion that drives me, the moonlight in the dark, the fire in my soul...

    I love you xxxx

    I love you sorry I upset you..xxx

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    steamydaz [sign in to see picture]
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    You are what you are. My wife will come up to me and say, 'Look I've got in my old jeans. How do I look?' My answer is as beautiful as ever, but it's the fact she's got in her jeans again that makes her feel good and that what matters. As for tummys girls, just remember that was your baby's house for 9 months and you made a life. Be happy with who you are because of your personality and your heart of gold. That's what people should judge you by.

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    mummymermaid wrote:

    theshape wrote:

    mummymermaid wrote:

    Its amazing to hear all this! Thank you all so much for sharing...i should listen to my partner more..he says the most lovely things sometimes .i promise to listen more and know he means it xxx

    My beautiful, sexy, amazing lady,

    You are incredible, beautiful and sexy. You are the passion that drives me, the moonlight in the dark, the fire in my soul...

    I love you xxxx

    I love you sorry I upset you..xxx

    omg so cute :3

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    Confidence has always eluded me. I'm young (24, 25 on the 13th) and I feel like I should be in my physical prime but I've been plus sized since I was about 16 and I stress eat or stress starve, so being a post-grad has been tough. Not to offend anyone, but I love love LOVE that older women here are embracing their bodies and passing it down to us. Often our insecurities are bred at home, I know my mother has been obsessed with dieting since she had me and has never been happy with her body since childbirth.

    I have a constant loop of negative thoughts about my body: 'So you've lost weight but now your skin looks SO saggy!' or 'Your thighs are disgusting go for a run!' Even when my partner now (or in the past if I'm honest) compliments me, which is very regularly to his credit, I think there must be some kind of hidden motive or he's just got some kind of fat girl fetish. My own insecurity is exhausting. I generally start conversations with strangers making a fat joke about myself just to beat them to the punch. Helps to be funny but also hurts sometimes.

    This thread is so important! Thank you mummymermaid for starting it and well done for doing you.xx

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    popk1n wrote:

    mummymermaid wrote:

    theshape wrote:

    mummymermaid wrote:

    Its amazing to hear all this! Thank you all so much for sharing...i should listen to my partner more..he says the most lovely things sometimes .i promise to listen more and know he means it xxx

    My beautiful, sexy, amazing lady,

    You are incredible, beautiful and sexy. You are the passion that drives me, the moonlight in the dark, the fire in my soul...

    I love you xxxx

    I love you sorry I upset you..xxx

    omg so cute :3

    +1 for all of the adorable

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    popk1n [sign in to see picture]
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    bex1213 wrote:

    Confidence has always eluded me. I'm young (24, 25 on the 13th) and I feel like I should be in my physical prime but I've been plus sized since I was about 16 and I stress eat or stress starve, so being a post-grad has been tough. Not to offend anyone, but I love love LOVE that older women here are embracing their bodies and passing it down to us. Often our insecurities are bred at home, I know my mother has been obsessed with dieting since she had me and has never been happy with her body since childbirth.

    I have a constant loop of negative thoughts about my body: 'So you've lost weight but now your skin looks SO saggy!' or 'Your thighs are disgusting go for a run!' Even when my partner now (or in the past if I'm honest) compliments me, which is very regularly to his credit, I think there must be some kind of hidden motive or he's just got some kind of fat girl fetish. My own insecurity is exhausting. I generally start conversations with strangers making a fat joke about myself just to beat them to the punch. Helps to be funny but also hurts sometimes.

    This thread is so important! Thank you mummymermaid for starting it and well done for doing you.xx

    Same for the confidence, though I'm the opposite end of the spectrum to you. I am 5ft, size 6 and have A cup boobs. I look like a child tbh, in body and face (I have super chubby cheeks). It sucks that I am a WOMAN and people assume me to be so young. My partner says I'm beautiful, but honestly if he didn't already know me, and know how old I was, I don't think he would have gone near me. Just once I'd love be "sexy/hot" instead of just "cute". I once was basically told that I would never be looked at twice because "i'm cute like a 12 year old" and was told that they felt "sorry for my boyfriend".

    On the mother-related topic, I personally cannot identify, my mother makes no comment on my appearance. However, I do know a friend who got told about a family wedding and was basically told to lose weight or she wouldn't be able to fit in the bridesmaid dress and wouldn't be briesmaid. She also says her weight is sometimes the butt of mean jokes on family dinners etc. I was horrified when I heard. She has a BEAUTIFUL body. Ok, she is maybe a bit chunky, but in a womanly curvy way, not a fat way. She's like a size 12 for god's sakes! I know for a fact that she is insecure (tries to come across like she's not) and she knows it's because of certain members of her family being unnecessarily critical.

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    bex1213 [sign in to see picture]
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    popk1n wrote:

    bex1213 wrote:

    Confidence has always eluded me. I'm young (24, 25 on the 13th) and I feel like I should be in my physical prime but I've been plus sized since I was about 16 and I stress eat or stress starve, so being a post-grad has been tough. Not to offend anyone, but I love love LOVE that older women here are embracing their bodies and passing it down to us. Often our insecurities are bred at home, I know my mother has been obsessed with dieting since she had me and has never been happy with her body since childbirth.

    I have a constant loop of negative thoughts about my body: 'So you've lost weight but now your skin looks SO saggy!' or 'Your thighs are disgusting go for a run!' Even when my partner now (or in the past if I'm honest) compliments me, which is very regularly to his credit, I think there must be some kind of hidden motive or he's just got some kind of fat girl fetish. My own insecurity is exhausting. I generally start conversations with strangers making a fat joke about myself just to beat them to the punch. Helps to be funny but also hurts sometimes.

    This thread is so important! Thank you mummymermaid for starting it and well done for doing you.xx

    Same for the confidence, though I'm the opposite end of the spectrum to you. I am 5ft, size 6 and have A cup boobs. I look like a child tbh, in body and face (I have super chubby cheeks). It sucks that I am a WOMAN and people assume me to be so young. My partner says I'm beautiful, but honestly if he didn't already know me, and know how old I was, I don't think he would have gone near me. Just once I'd love be "sexy/hot" instead of just "cute". I once was basically told that I would never be looked at twice because "i'm cute like a 12 year old" and was told that they felt "sorry for my boyfriend".

    On the mother-related topic, I personally cannot identify, my mother makes no comment on my appearance. However, I do know a friend who got told about a family wedding and was basically told to lose weight or she wouldn't be able to fit in the bridesmaid dress and wouldn't be briesmaid. She also says her weight is sometimes the butt of mean jokes on family dinners etc. I was horrified when I heard. She has a BEAUTIFUL body. Ok, she is maybe a bit chunky, but in a womanly curvy way, not a fat way. She's like a size 12 for god's sakes! I know for a fact that she is insecure (tries to come across like she's not) and she knows it's because of certain members of her family being unnecessarily critical.

    Uh. Okay. I can't see your face but you do not have the body of a child. You are all woman. I totally get why being seen as very young would bother you though. My friend is almost 30 and still gets asked for her ID for much the same reason. It doesn't make you less sexy though by any means even if you feel that way.

    Basically, being fat is easy to pick on. To be fair, my mother never commented on me like this (which is disgusting behaviour from your friend's family by the way) but she put herself down a lot and I think I picked that up to some degree. I remember being told my thighs were too big to do gymnastics when I was a healthy weight at 7 years old (Yep. 7.) and I've carried that my whole life. Plus, on nights out men have called me a whale or other delightful names even if I'm just walking down the street. That being said, the ultimate blame lies with me for constantly believing them. So I just need to work on that I guess.

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