• Confidence!?!

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    mummymermaid [sign in to see picture]
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    Briona87 wrote:

    Thanks for your support, Vanessa!

    mummymermaid - I know only too well what do stretch marks look like on a very pale skin; I may not be a natural redhead but I too am very pale (blondish hair, light blue eyes; when I go abroad most people seem to think I am from Finland, lol). What bothers me is that I have stretch-marks virtually everywhere; on my shoulders, breasts, upper arms, on my sides (I have those 5 inch wide clusters that go all the way from the underside of my arms, across my armpits all the way to the my hips), back, belly, legs... just everywhere. I feel I look like someone who has fallen through some huge grating machine. I really, really wish there was a way to get rid of these but is there a possibility to replace about 90% of your skin? Nope, sadly enough, we don't live in the Star Trek universe. As I always say, I genuinely regret I used to be morbidly obese but the punishment for being stupid is a bit too hard; I have never been pretty, never enjoyed any attention, no one ever wanted to date me... It is just so sad. I have always been this unappealing walking encyclopaedia - but the horrid thing is that no one has ever realized that I too have feelings, and that I feel lonely. And now... the damage to my body cannot be repaired and I am not getting any younger, either. I know I have to learn to live with it - but it is so bloody difficult and heart-breaking.

    Aww huni..I can't imagine what it feels like to have lost so much weight and still feel the way you do...I don't know what to say ..there is nothing I can say but..I hope you find comfort with all us and the fact you can talk here and know we care xxxx

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    WillC [sign in to see picture]
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    I totally agree with Mysteron,you women are your own worse critics! You should believe what your partners tell you when we say you are gorgeous! Us men prefer women with curves too,so you larger ladies shouldn`t worry!

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    jr78 [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    I didn't want to come accross as being sexist but some of you ladies are you own worst critics IMO .

    Sometimes you really are harsh on yourselves . The person you should be asking is your fella/partner . Like I said before I wouldn't have my lady any other way .

    With the clothing options for plus size ladies there are plenty of reasons to feel confindent about and superb lingerie to boot. For what I think is worth, a larger boobed lady looks much better wearing a corset or bustier type top than a small boobed and build lady

    I'll probalby gelt pelters now from the the thinner ladies for saying that but I hope you appreciate what I mean here .

    It's men like you that help women to embrace what they're blessed with. I had real confidence issues around my weight, I hated my tummy area after 2 kids & just felt horrible....then I met a man who constantly complimented me, he would put his hand on my tummy in bed & I would cringe & move his hand to my boob, then he asked me why I did that, I said obviously that's the part I really hate about myself & he said that tummy has held 2 amazing kids, those marks show you're a mother & also a sexy woman then he kissed my belly till it was shaking like a jelly because we were laughing so much! That lifted my confidence completely & from then on I was less shy in bed, I dressed up to flatter my good bits & hide the bad & I was like a tigress in bed.....not because my tummy got smaller or less wobbly but because he made me feel beautiful! We didn't stay together unfortunately however we stayed friends & I will always be grateful to him for the way he treated me & made me realise I was stressing about something that really didn't matter! The world needs more men like you & him because kind words can change a person's whole opinion of themselves! 😊 god bless all the loving gentlemen out there! X
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    WillC [sign in to see picture]
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    None of us get through life without scars...physical,mental,male or female,they just prove we`ve lived! Embrace those blemishes,they give us character.

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    mummymermaid [sign in to see picture]
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    WillC wrote:

    None of us get through life without scars...physical,mental,male or female,they just prove we`ve lived! Embrace those blemishes,they give us character.

    jr78 wrote:

    mysteron wrote:

    I didn't want to come accross as being sexist but some of you ladies are you own worst critics IMO .

    Sometimes you really are harsh on yourselves . The person you should be asking is your fella/partner . Like I said before I wouldn't have my lady any other way .

    With the clothing options for plus size ladies there are plenty of reasons to feel confindent about and superb lingerie to boot. For what I think is worth, a larger boobed lady looks much better wearing a corset or bustier type top than a small boobed and build lady

    I'll probalby gelt pelters now from the the thinner ladies for saying that but I hope you appreciate what I mean here .

    It's men like you that help women to embrace what they're blessed with. I had real confidence issues around my weight, I hated my tummy area after 2 kids & just felt horrible....then I met a man who constantly complimented me, he would put his hand on my tummy in bed & I would cringe & move his hand to my boob, then he asked me why I did that, I said obviously that's the part I really hate about myself & he said that tummy has held 2 amazing kids, those marks show you're a mother & also a sexy woman then he kissed my belly till it was shaking like a jelly because we were laughing so much! That lifted my confidence completely & from then on I was less shy in bed, I dressed up to flatter my good bits & hide the bad & I was like a tigress in bed.....not because my tummy got smaller or less wobbly but because he made me feel beautiful! We didn't stay together unfortunately however we stayed friends & I will always be grateful to him for the way he treated me & made me realise I was stressing about something that really didn't matter! The world needs more men like you & him because kind words can change a person's whole opinion of themselves! 😊 god bless all the loving gentlemen out there! X

    WillC wrote:

    I totally agree with Mysteron,you women are your own worse critics! You should believe what your partners tell you when we say you are gorgeous! Us men prefer women with curves too,so you larger ladies shouldn`t worry!

    Its amazing to hear all this! Thank you all so much for sharing...i should listen to my partner more..he says the most lovely things sometimes .i promise to listen more and know he means it xxx
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    Cole77 [sign in to see picture]
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    I admire your confidence, my wife is a plus size lady and I tell her how beautiful she is everyday, but her confidence has taken a battering from some old baggage in her life any tips on how I van restore it?

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    Cole77 [sign in to see picture]
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    I admire your confidence, my wife is a plus size lady and I tell her how beautiful she is everyday, but her confidence has taken a battering from some old baggage in her life any tips on how I van restore it?

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    slinky binky [sign in to see picture]
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    First of all, hats off mummy mermaid this is a lovely read, I'm really happy you have found your confidence.
    I've been body conscious ever since I can remember. Up until recently when I decided sexy lingerie is imperative every night. I feel like a different person when I slip into one of my outfits from my ever growing collection. Now when I'm changed I look in the mirror and finally I like what I see. My body's not perfect by a long shot but dressing up sexy and implementing bdsm, toys and props has made my confidence soar at last.
    So I'm very grateful to LH for helping me get my confidence back and this thread too read everyones opinions.
    Its true guys us women are our worst enemies, in the past no matter how hot, gorgeous, stunning etc my fella said i was i just didnt see it myself.
    Love your body, mind and soul and your body will take care of you xxx

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    Cole77 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks slinky x

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    mummymermaid [sign in to see picture]
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    Cole77 wrote:

    I admire your confidence, my wife is a plus size lady and I tell her how beautiful she is everyday, but her confidence has taken a battering from some old baggage in her life any tips on how I van restore it?

    Awww I totally understand..I think the way I got there was realising that it didn't matter what everyone said if I felt sexy and thought I looked good then I was sexy...my advice would be carry on saying how beautiful she is , treat her well, the plus size lingerie on here is a very good fit..I feel like a different woman when I wear something pretty that fits well ..lovehoney changed my sex life and my confidence, I wish you and your wife all the best xxx

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    mummymermaid [sign in to see picture]
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    slinky binky wrote:

    First of all, hats off mummy mermaid this is a lovely read, I'm really happy you have found your confidence.
    I've been body conscious ever since I can remember. Up until recently when I decided sexy lingerie is imperative every night. I feel like a different person when I slip into one of my outfits from my ever growing collection. Now when I'm changed I look in the mirror and finally I like what I see. My body's not perfect by a long shot but dressing up sexy and implementing bdsm, toys and props has made my confidence soar at last.
    So I'm very grateful to LH for helping me get my confidence back and this thread too read everyones opinions.
    Its true guys us women are our worst enemies, in the past no matter how hot, gorgeous, stunning etc my fella said i was i just didnt see it myself.
    Love your body, mind and soul and your body will take care of you xxx

    Love this slinky! Hope your well me lovely xxx

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    Cole77 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks slinky and mummy mermaid x

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    WillC [sign in to see picture]
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    Example...last night we got intimate,my wife commented on her `flabby` belly,she hasn`t had kids so her belly is just a normal curvy belly which at 51 is what you`d expect! I just said `it`s perfect` and began to kiss it.It really does frustrate me that women are so harsh on themselves!

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    Oh no!!! I've had one very lge child and it's left me with a saggy pooch (apron). I can't let my OH even touch it! I have my hysterectomy scar right under it which doesn't help me in the least!

    I hate him even looking at it, I hate looking at it and try very hard to get it smaller with constant workouts! Losing 3 stone hasn't helped it either. But it's so much smaller to what it was, but I have to have it covered during any kind of intemacy, be it my vesty top being pulled down to cover it or something! the rest of my body, well it is what it is, my ass isn't great but I'm still working on that.

    They say love the skin you're in but that can be very hard to do.

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    Sassygal [sign in to see picture]
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    What a wonderful thread!
    I have been an unhappy size 22, a very bubbly & confident size 14 (with such fantastic g size boobs) & now I am a far less confident size 8! So I am full of the same body issues & hang ups!
    It's so much more about How you feel/how someone else makes you feel about yourself (& not your size).
    I am still mourning the loss of my bouncy full bosoms (I'm sure my hubby is too) but even the two saggy pancakes are still great sexy sensitive breasts and of course he still plays with them with glee! They are boobs! He's a straight man, of course, he is still thrilled!!
    It has taken a lot of time to not care about my body issues in the bedroom (& that doesn't translate to the outside world so easily!!) but I worked out, something really simple, if I want to get the best out of sexy time, the only person my hang ups were hindering was myself!
    Now I let go & think, why worry about how my tummy/boobs/butt are hanging - and just think about how good it feels?!! At that moment it's not a fashion show & I want a great sex!
    Of course, I do make every effort to look as good as possible for sexy times, it certainly helps to help me feel good (& I love an outfit that covers my tummy) but women everywhere ... Let's accept who we are...sexy, really bloody sexy! I hope you all get told that today, but if not... You are bloody sexy & amazing & deserve fantastic sexy times! Size be damned xxx

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    Sassygal wrote:

    What a wonderful thread!
    I have been an unhappy size 22, a very bubbly & confident size 14 (with such fantastic g size boobs) & now I am a far less confident size 8! So I am full of the same body issues & hang ups!
    It's so much more about How you feel/how someone else makes you feel about yourself (& not your size).
    I am still mourning the loss of my bouncy full bosoms (I'm sure my hubby is too) but even the two saggy pancakes are still great sexy sensitive breasts and of course he still plays with them with glee! They are boobs! He's a straight man, of course, he is still thrilled!!
    It has taken a lot of time to not care about my body issues in the bedroom (& that doesn't translate to the outside world so easily!!) but I worked out, something really simple, if I want to get the best out of sexy time, the only person my hang ups were hindering was myself!
    Now I let go & think, why worry about how my tummy/boobs/butt are hanging - and just think about how good it feels?!! At that moment it's not a fashion show & I want a great sex!
    Of course, I do make every effort to look as good as possible for sexy times, it certainly helps to help me feel good (& I love an outfit that covers my tummy) but women everywhere ... Let's accept who we are...sexy, really bloody sexy! I hope you all get told that today, but if not... You are bloody sexy & amazing & deserve fantastic sexy times! Size be damned xxx

    I love this..so well expressed too. Thank you for sharing x

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    HappilyExperimenting [sign in to see picture]
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    Such nice things said in this thread, but let's remember our men too girls, they need confidence! How do you compliment your guy and let him know you think he's sexy and loved? Keep it coming with the confidence tips and stories, I like reading this thread :)

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    Well my OH has great legs and arms. I'm always telling him I love them. They're very musclular.

    Unfortunately I don't get complimented by him, but that's cool, each to their own and all that.

    This thread needs expanding, it's fabtastic x

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    Sassygal [sign in to see picture]
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    Glad you liked it Ozzy, was lovely to see such a positive thread - I just had to join in!

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    HappilyExperimenting wrote:

    Such nice things said in this thread, but let's remember our men too girls, they need confidence! How do you compliment your guy and let him know you think he's sexy and loved? Keep it coming with the confidence tips and stories, I like reading this thread :)

    Fantastic idea the expansion to the guys!

    My husband is convinced to be ugly, has always been convinced of that as he never got ladies' attention before mine! However, I find him very attractive ten years on, I love his back and face, and hair and even that he has the perfect amount of "manly" bodyhair where he needs to (according both to his and my opinions)... And I constantly let him know that. I also like his penis very much, and he sure knows that! ;). I do not however hide what I don't like of him, because I don't believe anyone has a perfect body and I am not blind to the defects, and I don't want to sound untruthful either giving him only compliments. So we are very open and honest about both the stuff we love and the ones we don't like so much on each other's bodies. But we are just like that, we manage also to joke and be ironical about our bodies, both positive and negative traits. I also help him make more "stylish" choices in clothing (we joke around saying I'm his personal stylist), but I don't force my tastes on him. I just respect what he likes and work with that and he has thanked me for boosting his confidence up this way several times! :)

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