• Confidence!?!

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    mummymermaid [sign in to see picture]
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    I am a plus sized woman..wasn't always that way, but three children, giving up smoking and just eating badly has ended in me being on the bigger end of a size 18/20 ...now I have spent years hating it and trying to hide it and dieting and being unhappy...then I realised something..was I unhappy with me or what other people thought of me? Which I thought was crazy! I wear skull leggings and new rock boots..I have tattoos and piercings! Why would I care about what other people think..but it turns out I do...I started paying attention to what I thought about myself and how wearing certain things made me feel and I was shocked...I found I loved tight clothes even though they showed every lump and bump I felt good..and then a voice in my head said omg you can't go out like that you look huge and huge equals ugly...that wasn't me thinking that..I felt good I actually thought I looked good.. that was a nasty thought coming from me worrying about what other people might think...so now I have given up my diet I have no health issues so I don't need to lose it for health reasons it was purely cosmetic...I dress how I like and yes I have days when I feel awful about myself but i am happier now I have accepted me...lovehoney has definitely helped me feel good about myself as well ,it's nice that the sizes don't stop at 16 xx

    I hope maybe one day people will stop making people feel bad for being a certain way. Big or small xxx

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    With my Mrs being a plus sized woman ,I do appreciate some of the problems. Thankfully Lovehoney have introduced very nice ranges a nice lingerie for lus sized ladies. And by the way I wouldn't have my lady any other way .Other companies as you may know also offer clothes in the plus size brackets

    Part of the problem certainly in the past has been the fashion industry . The models they chose tend to be the skinny type and unfortunately normal every day girls tried to duplicate this and in some cases made themselves very poorly and in some extreme cases died as a result .

    Things are beginning to change albeit slowly and there are now quite a few plus size models.

    So to conclude I think there are plenty of reasons to get confident with more clothes and choice being made avaialble to plus size ladies .

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    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    What a lovely post! I'm so pleased you now feel more comfortable with your body, I think that's the most important thing, as so often people are concerned with what others think and don't see how beautiful they really are.

    I'm a size 16-18 (or so I thought), I've gained a lot of weight due to chronic illness, so I barely exercise anymore. Recently I've noticed that I've been buying size 16/18 clothes, but probably just because I'm too scared to wear anything clingy in case my fat shows! I have got a couple of size 14 tops I've started wearing again and they actually fit my quite well, but I do still worry that people are cringing at my figure. It's very hit and miss too, I find that having wide hips and big boobs I still have to wear bigger sizes sometimes, and that can make me feel bad about myself. I also find summer really difficult because I no longer wear clingy vests/strappy tops or shorts etc, which I used to love.

    Hopefully I can be more like you and start wearing what I like again!

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    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm a plus size woman probably a size 20. But, now I'm being honest, I really could be a nudist, I'm not bothered what other people think of my size shape or body. I am fat and I do have days when I feel ugly, but we all do, even the thinnest woman in the world feels ugly some days.

    i think if your happy with yourself, then b***ocks to what others think. The trick is to be happy with yourself. Not always easy but once you get there your sorted.

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    Man this is a great post.I hear everything you're saying here and more. Stuff what other people think, walk tall and be proud of the beautiful people you all are.

    Even as I wrote those words it rattles around my head that I do have issues myself. I'm so much better now, but my condition makes you very unsociable, I've grown a lot in the past 2 years. I'm coming to terms with me I guess.

    I hope this thread get's lots of the guys talking x

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    WillC [sign in to see picture]
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    You look ok to me!

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    Fun Louise, I hate the word fat my dear. You sound like a super fun person to be around!

    Another kid told my child their mother was fat last year at a school event and my awesome offspring informed them that he was a bully and that his momma (very proudly overheard this) was beautiful and better to hug that way!

    While I am embraced who I am and the journey my body has gone through as a woman I am going to fix my stomach in 2 months but not for anyone else... for me!

    this was a lovely post Mummy and you are correct all of us women are hard on ourselves regardless of size!

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    Nicely said WillC and Vanessa. She's gorgeous, you all are.

    Kids can be very cruel, I should know, I work in a school! I'd be dam proud of your son too! what a star!!! x

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I didn't want to come accross as being sexist but some of you ladies are you own worst critics IMO .

    Sometimes you really are harsh on yourselves . The person you should be asking is your fella/partner . Like I said before I wouldn't have my lady any other way .

    With the clothing options for plus size ladies there are plenty of reasons to feel confindent about and superb lingerie to boot. For what I think is worth, a larger boobed lady looks much better wearing a corset or bustier type top than a small boobed and build lady

    I'll probalby gelt pelters now from the the thinner ladies for saying that but I hope you appreciate what I mean here .

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    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Mysteron I know what you mean :)

    My partner does compliment me on my body all the time, it's just hard to believe it's true when I clearly don't see what he sees. Getting reassurance from a partner means an awful lot though, it just would be nice to feel the same way about myself!

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    mummymermaid [sign in to see picture]
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    Aww thanks everyone for replying and sharing your thoughts..it's lovely to hear your body confidence story's! My partner tells me i am beautiful and sexy all the time which is lovely of course it s..but until you feel it yourself it means so much more..if you understand that ^^ xx

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    Briona87 [sign in to see picture]
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    I admire your attitude!

    I myself am a great coward with no body confidence whatsoever. I suppose I could live with my current size (about 14) - well, except for my thighs that are disproportionately huge for my frame - but my problem is that I used to be absolutely huge, probably at least size 26, and the massive weight gain (and weight loss) has ravaged my skin. I have scars and stretch marks (and I am not talking about a few stretch marks, I am talking about huge, long stretch marks that come in clusters that are several inches wide) and also about "pasty", unfirm skin on my entire body, safe for my face, neck and forearms, and I don't seem to be able to feel comfortable with these hideous markings. (Moreover, when I was a kid, I got scratched on by a huge and overly friendly dog that jumped on me, wanting to lick my face, so I have two sets of extra scars on the side of my breasts. Yuck.) I kind of wished I was able to learn to live with it but, seeing everyone has always found me too hideous to date, I just can't find the strength to accept my... ehm... problems.

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    PetiteVixen [sign in to see picture]
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    I am a smaller lady, and back in the day I weighed 7.5 stone naturally. Now, you would think this would be so incredibly desirable, but let me tell you that I was bullied an insane amount. Now that I have been able to gain weight and fill myself out, I feel so much more self confident. The grass is not always greener, hun.

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    sassykitten;) [sign in to see picture]
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    PetiteVixen wrote:

    I am a smaller lady, and back in the day I weighed 7.5 stone naturally. Now, you would think this would be so incredibly desirable, but let me tell you that I was bullied an insane amount. Now that I have been able to gain weight and fill myself out, I feel so much more self confident. The grass is not always greener, hun.

    I agree Im tiny 6, 8tops. 7 stone is my max.. I struggle , massively...

    When my weight drops things r so hard to find to fit correct.. As petitevixen says grass is no greener.

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    mummymermaid [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh I wasn't saying small ladies had it easier..I know everyone has body worries and confidence issues. All I was trying to say with this post was no matter your size shape whatever it's a shame when you feel good that sometimes you let the thought of what other people may think ruin that for you xxx

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    mummymermaid [sign in to see picture]
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    Briona87 wrote:

    I admire your attitude!

    I myself am a great coward with no body confidence whatsoever. I suppose I could live with my current size (about 14) - well, except for my thighs that are disproportionately huge for my frame - but my problem is that I used to be absolutely huge, probably at least size 26, and the massive weight gain (and weight loss) has ravaged my skin. I have scars and stretch marks (and I am not talking about a few stretch marks, I am talking about huge, long stretch marks that come in clusters that are several inches wide) and also about "pasty", unfirm skin on my entire body, safe for my face, neck and forearms, and I don't seem to be able to feel comfortable with these hideous markings. (Moreover, when I was a kid, I got scratched on by a huge and overly friendly dog that jumped on me, wanting to lick my face, so I have two sets of extra scars on the side of my breasts. Yuck.) I kind of wished I was able to learn to live with it but, seeing everyone has always found me too hideous to date, I just can't find the strength to accept my... ehm... problems.

    Aww huni...I have huge thighs too and a massive arse i am very bottom heavy and not much up top! My eldest son as he was being born started to turn on his way out (he was the wrong way he tried to correct himself bless him!) Leaving me with massive stretch marks all over my belly and my very private area! I am a natural redhead so very pale which shows them up more. Huge huge congratulations on losing the weight...i am sure your not hideous huni and I am sure you just haven't met the one for you yet that's all..you seem lovely on the forums in every post I see you on...I hope one day you see just how beautiful you are xxx

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    Brionna I just want to encourage you today as I know in your country you take a lot of grief and it hurts my heart that you feel this way. I still say you are amazing for loosing all that weight and taking charge of your health and getting stronger. I hope being able to vent on here helps in a small way.

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    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    You are amazing....both inside and out ☺

    I'm a larger lady and probably have more confidence than most ! You go girl....make the world take notice of you ☺ xx

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    Ddiggler [sign in to see picture]
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    You are what you are and people can accept that or jog on I never judge people everyone is their own person no matter big small tall or short and what ever your into is your own business everyone is different and that's how it should be I hope all the kind words the love honey peeps have said to you helps you take care and be your won person.x

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    Briona87 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for your support, Vanessa!

    mummymermaid - I know only too well what do stretch marks look like on a very pale skin; I may not be a natural redhead but I too am very pale (blondish hair, light blue eyes; when I go abroad most people seem to think I am from Finland, lol). What bothers me is that I have stretch-marks virtually everywhere; on my shoulders, breasts, upper arms, on my sides (I have those 5 inch wide clusters that go all the way from the underside of my arms, across my armpits all the way to the my hips), back, belly, legs... just everywhere. I feel I look like someone who has fallen through some huge grating machine. I really, really wish there was a way to get rid of these but is there a possibility to replace about 90% of your skin? Nope, sadly enough, we don't live in the Star Trek universe. As I always say, I genuinely regret I used to be morbidly obese but the punishment for being stupid is a bit too hard; I have never been pretty, never enjoyed any attention, no one ever wanted to date me... It is just so sad. I have always been this unappealing walking encyclopaedia - but the horrid thing is that no one has ever realized that I too have feelings, and that I feel lonely. And now... the damage to my body cannot be repaired and I am not getting any younger, either. I know I have to learn to live with it - but it is so bloody difficult and heart-breaking.

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