• Sexy lingerie- boost or lower self-esteem?

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    mojojojo_21 [sign in to see picture]
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    I suffer from low self esteem and anxiety. Ive never dressed up in the bedroom before until I met my current partner who encouraged me to dress up. I found that i really enjoyed it. I enjoy that someone finds me extremely sexy and irresistable. That they actually want to find out whats underneath my underwear. I must admit though when im looking online I still have this niggle at the back of my head that makes me buy things that will cover areas up. I love buying babydolls, basques or corsets and my favourite is body stockings and i have found that wearing these makes me feel more sexier in the bedroom. Outside of the bedroom I'd say i still had a lot of work to do. but for now im happy with how far I've came.

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    little p. [sign in to see picture]
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    This issue is a tough one. I had my children really close together. The back to back pregnancies really did a number on my body and it took a long time to get my mojo back. With the help of hormone replacment therapy, and the love of a good man, I found my way back. The sexy undies thing was tough becaue I did not like what I saw in the mirror. So, one evening I decide that I would let him go through my undies drawer and pick a few things out. I told him to wait, on the lounge for me. I put the items on without the aid of the mirror. I modeled the items for him and let his reaction tell me how I looked. He was thrilled. We now shop, together, for lingerie, for me.

    The bottom line is this. Mirrors lie! Or at least how we look in the mirror is a lie. When a woman looks at herself, she is scrutinizing every little detail. When a man looks at a woman he is seeing the whole woman, from head to toe, in one continuous visual. He is not seeing every mark, or bump, or scar, or stretch mark. He is just seeing a woman. And if she happens to be his lady love, in sexy undies, well, you can imagine how good that would look to him.

    I wish you joy, and many pairs of sexy knickers, in your future. <3

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    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    Please enjoy you underwear I've given up because hubby's not interested in sex or me dressing up I can't see the point any more you enjoy all your purchases hugs.

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    OUCH! Thank you ;) [sign in to see picture]
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    thedevils-little-helper wrote:

    Vanessa, i looked up Keratosis Pilaris and it does look very similar to what's on me, i wonder why my doctor said he didn't know what it was. useless nhs lol. thank you for the tips on how to deal with it :) i feel more low about it than i do about the scars to be honest. thanks to all you lovely people i've decided to f*** it and try some lingerie! :)

    I have KP hun, my dermatologist gives me a cream called Calmurid. It has urea in it and it works wonders, I promise you. Go back to your doc and ask for it or something similar 😉 As for your original question, I have a terrible body image. I have cellulite, c-section scarring, vitiligo and stretch marks but sexy lingerie does make me feel sexy. I'll plus one all the suggestions of baby dolls, chemises, body stockings, gloves and stockings & suspenders. Corsets and basques cover less but they're supremely sexy and I feel at my best in those.
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    thedevils-little-helper [sign in to see picture]
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    little p. wrote:

    This issue is a tough one. I had my children really close together. The back to back pregnancies really did a number on my body and it took a long time to get my mojo back. With the help of hormone replacment therapy, and the love of a good man, I found my way back. The sexy undies thing was tough becaue I did not like what I saw in the mirror. So, one evening I decide that I would let him go through my undies drawer and pick a few things out. I told him to wait, on the lounge for me. I put the items on without the aid of the mirror. I modeled the items for him and let his reaction tell me how I looked. He was thrilled. We now shop, together, for lingerie, for me.

    The bottom line is this. Mirrors lie! Or at least how we look in the mirror is a lie. When a woman looks at herself, she is scrutinizing every little detail. When a man looks at a woman he is seeing the whole woman, from head to toe, in one continuous visual. He is not seeing every mark, or bump, or scar, or stretch mark. He is just seeing a woman. And if she happens to be his lady love, in sexy undies, well, you can imagine how good that would look to him.

    I wish you joy, and many pairs of sexy knickers, in your future. <3

    That was some pretty decent advice! Thank you! (and everyone else) :) <3

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    Ruby Red Slippers [sign in to see picture]
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    I would suggest trying a bodystocking first - I have this one and love it: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30698

    Bodystockings seem to be flattering on all body types and they give a lot of coverage while still looking sexy, so it may be a good way to ease yourself in gently to feeling confident in sexy underwear instead of going straight for a thong or something. This one has quite a lot of detail on it so it could draw the eyes towards that instead of the parts that you don't want to be noticed.

    For me, seeing unbelievably gorgeous women on the packaging often rocks my confidence, so I love that lovehoney branded items like this one don't actually have models on them, just drawings, so that could help too.

    I hope it's ok for me to post this on the forum, but feel free to remove it if it's not permitted. About the keratosis pilaris, I've heard great things about a company called MooGoo that have developed natural creams and soaps to help KP - google it and check out their website which has lots of info on the condition. They're usually even willing to send you a small free sample to try first if you email them.

    Above all, I know it's easier said than done but try to focus on the fact that your fiance loves every bit of you and doesn't scrutinise your 'flaws'. Your scars show that you're a survivor and you've had the strength to keep going even when things have been really tough. We're all rooting for you here and I hope you find something that helps you see the sexy person that you fiance sees.

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    My OH suggested a longish type babydol . She loves them becasue it hides her stretch marks. I love them because teamed up with stockings and high heels it makes her really sexy and confident .

    Because of the floaty nature of the babysoll making love while still wearing it is quite easy to do. They are also great for sleeping in afterwards . After all that that was their intended use.

    Lingerie can also be used to dictate moods. Black or red for domininat , white for inocent /submissive.

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    HoneyBear7 [sign in to see picture]
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    Im Overweight to say the least and have very low self esteem, to top it off I suffer from depression and anxiety issues, Ive found that no matter how much effort I put in even if just a little, always makes me feel sexy, such as lingerie, or a little makeup which I never wear. So I'd have to say yes it definitely helps with self esteem.

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    Deekayjay [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm in my 50's and overweight but stockings and suspenders always make me feel sexy because my hubby loves them! I still think I look fat but he says he doesn't notice. I love bodystockings and basques with suspenders as I think they cover a multitude of sins!

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    Little bit late to this thread but thought I'd mention bio oil and cocoa butter a few times a day really helps to reduce scars! x

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    Caliente [sign in to see picture]
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    little p. wrote:

    .....The sexy undies thing was tough becaue I did not like what I saw in the mirror. So, one evening I decide that I would let him go through my undies drawer and pick a few things out. I told him to wait, on the lounge for me. I put the items on without the aid of the mirror. I modeled the items for him and let his reaction tell me how I looked....

    This is brilliant advice. Sometimes we are not the best judges. It can be good to see ourselves the way others see us. Thank you little p! and thanks NatandTom for bumping this thread. I can second the vote for bio oil. It definitely helps.

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    Kimberleyking [sign in to see picture]
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    i suffer with the same problem ...

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    Elle & em [sign in to see picture]
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    Me too I'm overweight but recently bought a few items from the plus size range and I've found that they really do boost my self esteem as I've been able to find things that fit properly , and cover the bits you want covering . Aloe Vera is great stuff with a lot of different lotions & potions available which have great benefits when used on scars

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    Friday13 [sign in to see picture]
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    I love that idea, little p.

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    LibraLover [sign in to see picture]
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    thedevils-little-helper wrote:

    Vanessa, i looked up Keratosis Pilaris and it does look very similar to what's on me, i wonder why my doctor said he didn't know what it was. useless nhs lol. thank you for the tips on how to deal with it :) i feel more low about it than i do about the scars to be honest. thanks to all you lovely people i've decided to f*** it and try some lingerie! :)

    You should ask to be referred to a dermatologist, I've had psoriasis all my life, my doc didn't know what it was when I was little so referred me to a dermatologist. A lot of skin conditions look simular so you really won't know until you go to an expert.

    As for lingerie, it makes me feel great if it suits me, if not I don't really mind and just send it back but I have fairly high self esteem. I agree that this bodystocking is very flattering and pretty and will cover everything http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30693 but it irritates my skin, so if your skin is sore it might be uncomfortable!

    I hope you find something you love and start to feel more confident about your body!

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    Caliente [sign in to see picture]
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    Elle & em - I think finding things that fit properly is the key to feeling good in whtever you're wearing. I often find one size stuff frumpy and unflattering, but I've just bought a teddy from Lovehoney that actually fits me everywhere and I love it.

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