• Short skirts and tight arsed dresses

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    duckandbunny79 [sign in to see picture]
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    Whilst the OH will wear these on occasion, generally her set of clothing for just going out with friends is fairly conservative.

    Which got me to wondering. When ladies are out and about on the town with friends wearing skirts or dresses up to their arses what is the thought process behind that?

    They could be married/attached in some form of relationship, so they are not going out to pull per se.

    So I'm just wondering what the thought process is when buying the dress and or choosing to wear it out and about.

    I am by no means suggesting it's wrong, but I do wonder what the ladies get out of it, is it a mild exhibitionist streak, ie look but don't touch. Does it just feel hot to be dressed to thrill? Are they hoping to flirt but not act on it?

    Any thoughts, most welcome. Like I say the short skirt and dress scenario the OH tends to avoid unless specially requested by me.

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    delilahxx [sign in to see picture]
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    I love wearing short dresses and skirts, they make me feel very sexy but although I enjoyed wearing them out when I was younger, there is no way I would now. I save them for wearing in the house.

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    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't think there is such a complex or sexual thought process as you imply. When young people go out on the town, short skirts and body tight dresses are the norm. You wear them because it feels good and it's what your friends are wearing. It is that simple. And most of the people you see out and about wearing that sort of thing are just young people out having fun, not exhibitionists or sluts or looking to flirt or anything of the sort. Not even anything sexual, it's just how you make yourself look good and appropriately dressed. Think of it as the uniform of nightclubs!

    I would argue thought process kicks in to STOP wearing that sort of clothing out once you settle down. You wear stuff for your partner's eyes only, you tone it down in public, maybe even you feel too old to wear short skirts out. Maybe you don't want to seem like a party animal anymore, maybe you're just fed up freezing your arse off. Maybe you've put on weight and don't feel good about yourself. You even get situations where your partner will tell you stop stop wearing clothes they deem inappropriate.

    Women don't chose their clothes with sex on their mind when they are just going out with their friends. It isn't about getting a sexual kick or constantly being on the pull, it's fashion. Pure and simple. To say there is a sexual thought process behind a choice of clothing when it is for the majority of women simply a fashion choice is awfully close to spiralling into the whole 'she was wearing a mini skirt, she was asking to be raped' thing...

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    DreamOfTheEndless [sign in to see picture]
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    You could ask the same question of men who put on nice aftershave or a smart shirt before they go out even thought pulling is the furthest thing from their mind.

    It's about confidence, I think. You feel confident when you think you look nice. You think you look nice when you're wearing something society tells you is fashionable. Short skirts are fashionable, to follow on from a previous point. If dungarees were in fashion people would wear them out. I'm old enough to remember this actually happening. :)

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    Lupina [sign in to see picture]
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    I dress for myself and no one else. I don't dress in revealing clothes to pull, flirt or impress. And I believe many women feel the same and no offence but I feel its quite self absorbed to believe that once a woman is with you she would stop dressing nicely or how she would before. Because partners and sex are hardly the be-all and end-all of our lives and certainly don't stop us dressing how we would once we have either. I wear very short dresses mostly because I like the way I look and when it comes to it - that's all that matters!

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    duckandbunny79 [sign in to see picture]
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    At no point did I suggest that ladies should not wear short dresses and I certainly did not suggest anything like anyone wearing a short skirt is asking for it.

    It was a genuine question, which came about from chatting to some other 'ladies' on the internet who suggested that it was because they enjoyed the attention.

    It got me to wondering whether this was a common thought process or whether there was something else to it.

    The point about fashion and aftershave is well made.

    I would digress onto the issue people not wanting to be seen as sluts, as I see that as a slightly rorschach comment about other women and their view of whether a slut is a bad thing.

    If people transplanted that comment about men, how crazy would it sound. I don't dress to impress as I don't want to be seen as a man who enjoys himself and life in his own way?

    See what I mean, men don't call other men sluts for playing around. A man who behaves like a slut is not seen as a person who is awful. In fact some men would look up to them as role models.

    I've never been a role model person but then neither have I been a person to shy away from asking questions that make me curious.

    Sorry that the question or your interpretation of the question offended. But with a sample of 1 or 2 people it's hardly a decent representive view. I thought here I may get a more decent set of answers than on a forum that is less diverse and where most of the women are probably men.

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    Lupina [sign in to see picture]
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    What stuck out for me was that you said in the original post that they could have partners and dress this way even if not to pull, as if that were the only reason women dress the way they do, to get partners. It did come across as though you were saying women only wear short skirts and dresses for sex - Which sparked the 'Asking for it' comments.

    Also, the slut comment, most women I know have been called a slut by men, not other women. Because a man can have as much sex as he likes and that's great but if a woman does it she is seen as being a whore. Its a sexist situation, not really a good point to be making to help your cause here I'm afraid.

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    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    Just wanted to add my opinion about the "asking for it comments", because I kinda feel like a leap of assumption has happened here.

    To start, let me say I believe some women do dress up sexily with the intention of looking to pull, or have sex. It would be incredibly naive to sit here and say women are never looking for sex. We look for sex just as much as men do....otherwise, who on earth are all these straight men sleeping with? Women dress up gorgeous, which gives them confidence and makes them feel good about themselves (as some others have pointed out) and for some women, this is the ONLY reason they do it. But lets me realistic, most of us get dressed up, makeup on etc when we LEAVE the house. Not many of us get the mini skirt and make up and hair curled for a night in watching TV. Maybe this is because we do want other people to notice and appreciate the effort we went to, to look good. No, it doesn't always have to be about sex, but feeling desireable, or popular etc makes many people feel good. I personally support a womans right to dress herself up in mini skirt and what not and go get what she wants! Problem is, so many women are pressured under societal norms to feel incredible shame for A) wanting sex and B) going and getting it, so many women deny interest, deny wanting to feel sexy, or desireable, deny wanting a hot night with a stranger ....afraid of being labelled a slut.

    Although I believe that women (just as much as men) seek sex, I don't understand the link between thinking that and therefore being in the same group as those who believe she was "asking for it" See, a woman choosing to go out on the pull is a woman making her own choices. She is a sexual agent, with the ability to do as she chooses and walk away from things she does not want. I support this and I support her choices. What I do not support (and actually find abhorrent) is another person taking away her choices, forcing his choices upon her.

    What I am saying is that these two opinions (some women do dress for sex and She was asking for it) are seperate, unlinked opinions. One does not ultimately lead to the other. Heck, I could watch a person walk naked down the street with a sign around their neck saying "I'm looking for sex" and STILL believe this person is not asking for it.

    Truth is, people do things for unique and individual reasons. So to answer your question, yes of course some women dress in a way they consider sexy because they want sex and or attention. However, they could also be doing it for fashion, to fit in and just because they feel confident and amazing when dressed up. I mean, lets be fair, if anyone (male or female) is going out in the hopes of having some sexual activity, they generally want to look their best at the time.

    I think denying that women are sexual, sensual creatures occasionally looking for hot sweaty sex does us a mis-service. To state no women act this way, or that most "normal women act that way, is to keep putting pressure on women to conform to "the rules" or else fear being labelled. And now women can't win. You're frigid if you don't and you are a slut if you do. Everyone else is keeping score. It sucks.

    Obviously, women (and men) in happy, healthy relationships are not dressing or behaving in certain ways with the intention of cheating. I do not believe anyone happy in their relationship are intentially dressing to go pull some random person for sex. Heck, there are even a great many people unhappy in their relationships that still would not do this, because they would feel crushing guilt and because somewhere, love exists between these two people. HOWEVER, I also believe that shacking up with a partner does not stop many of us flirting. In fact, flirting is such a a part of our makeup that apparently, we flirt without even knowing we do it half the time. I watched a show that said women actually walk different (more hip swaying) when ovulating. We are programmed to propegate the species and so we have strong natural urges and desires. A desire to feel wanted, a desire to feel sexy etc. The thing is though, we are intelligent creatures too and not many of us would leap into bed and cheat just because it was on offer. However, if we caught some attractive person flirting with us, or making eye contact and giving us a big grin...we don't get depressed....we feel uplifted. We are uplifted and uplift others by mild flirting, even knowing it is not going to lead anywhere or even though you feel happy...flirting boosts you a little when it happens.

    It's so late and I think I stopped making sense about half a page ago lol, so I shall stop yammering on now. I just wanted to add my opinion.

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    Morthius [sign in to see picture]
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    Might be I'm missing the actual dress code you are referring to but as i see it (as a man) there are really no disadvantages dressing sexy, be it as a male or female. Now I say sexy because short skirts and tight dresses can look either sexy or sleezy depending on the rest of the outfit. I will focus on the looking sexy part.

    If you are going to meet with people of your own gender or the opposite gender or both you are in an advantage if you are looking sexier, healthier and more well-dressed than them. Be it a meeting or be it for something else. Being "better dressed" will in my opinion put you in a "power position". Especially if you happen to be able to make the others think you are attractive, this because you are in control of your own emotions while they might be feeling a bit off and not fully alert on the things being discussed.

    Further, be it for a male or a female, getting attention and feeling attractive will if nothing else subconsciously make us feel better. Everyone will feel good about getting noticed and knowing "you still got it"; especially those whom might not get noticed at home as much anymore.

    This is purely my own opinion on dressing sexy and I guess it might not be 100% on topic but I wanted to give my thoughts about it.

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    duckandbunny79 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks.

    Maybe I did not express myself very well, but the intention was just to get a wider opinion of the way people dress rather than just my wife and one or two people who may or may not be female on the internet.

    I would not and have never suggested that a woman is asking for it.

    I can honestly say that hand on heart, I'm not the dressing up kinda guy unless I'm with the wife, however on the odd occasion I have needed to look mildy ok with out the wife present, it does cross my mind as to whether I look appealing to others.

    It does not mean I'm wanting to flirt, cheat or to suggest 'I am asking for it'

    I'm not really a fashion person so dressing up for myself or for fashion, would never really cross my mind, which is probably why it did not cross my mind that it maybe the primary focus for anyone else.

    But then if I never asked, I'd never know.

    As for the asking for it phrase, I do like the scenario of the naked person walking down the street with a sign saying looking for sex. That is how it should be, if I was to do the same, I would expect some funny looks, maybe the odd person turning queezy and maybe the odd approach from someone asking for the time. But it would not mean anyone could just try without asking first.

    But I genuinely did not realise I had worded my question so badly so I apologize for any offence, it was a genuine question rather than an opinion on others.

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    johnandkatie [sign in to see picture]
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    I like to go out in short skirts or dress with or without oh coz it makes me feel good but I always make it pretty clear if ever get chatted up that I am married and then I go home to hubby as not interested in anyone else I do it for me to feel good about myself

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    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    duckandbunny79 wrote:

    Thanks.

    Maybe I did not express myself very well, but the intention was just to get a wider opinion of the way people dress rather than just my wife and one or two people who may or may not be female on the internet.

    I would not and have never suggested that a woman is asking for it.

    I can honestly say that hand on heart, I'm not the dressing up kinda guy unless I'm with the wife, however on the odd occasion I have needed to look mildy ok with out the wife present, it does cross my mind as to whether I look appealing to others.

    It does not mean I'm wanting to flirt, cheat or to suggest 'I am asking for it'

    I'm not really a fashion person so dressing up for myself or for fashion, would never really cross my mind, which is probably why it did not cross my mind that it maybe the primary focus for anyone else.

    But then if I never asked, I'd never know.

    As for the asking for it phrase, I do like the scenario of the naked person walking down the street with a sign saying looking for sex. That is how it should be, if I was to do the same, I would expect some funny looks, maybe the odd person turning queezy and maybe the odd approach from someone asking for the time. But it would not mean anyone could just try without asking first.

    But I genuinely did not realise I had worded my question so badly so I apologize for any offence, it was a genuine question rather than an opinion on others.

    Not sure if this message was to me, but if so, I can assure you I personally did not make the connection between thinking some women might enjoy dressing nice to pull/have sex and therefore also thinking they are asking for it. I believe these are two totally different opinions, so I never made that connection. One gives the woman (or man) agency/choice, whereas the other one takes it away.

    I think when you look at it on a surface level, you might assume coupled up people tone down the partying and dressing up because they are no longer "looking", which would suggest that's the only reason they did it in the first place. However, dig a little deeper and you realise many people simply outgrow the clubbing scene, or feel content spending quiet time in the house where they can actually hear their partner. As committment kicks in, so does responsibilities: work, kids, mortgage and so on. This saps the desire to be out dancing til 2am in high heels and a mini. Now the contentment comes from sinking into a hot bubble bath and nice clean sheets lol

    When coupled up people finally do get an occasion where they go out (together or alone), of course they will dress up. For one night only they get to shrug off all the labels (Mum, dad, cleaner, cook, taxi driver, employee, ect) and just "be them" for one evening. Its novel and exciting again to go out, dance, chat about something other than nappies or the rent and look and feel good too....

    That is, until the next morning, at 7am, when the children pounce on us. That is when we all say "never again" lol

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    Dali256 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think people just want to look good, partner or no partner. If they feel they look good in short skirts then thats what they will wear. Really, really short skirts seemed to just be in fashion for teenagers around here this summer too so it was just a normal item of clothing.

    I really dont think there is a great thought process behind it, just people wearing what makes them feel good.

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    Yes [sign in to see picture]
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    I wear what suits my body. I wear above knee length most days as this style suits me. I dress to please myself. I dress to please my man in some circmstances too. I enjoy his physical appreciation as well as his intellectual appreciation. Clothes can be empowering, fun, and flirtatious. When I'm out for a night of dancing I'll wear clothes that have some movement, aren't too clingy and don't swamp me. Accentuating parts of the body is fine in both men and women. I love my man and I appreciate the effort he makes to physically attract me. Clothes can go a long way in this department, from a simple pair of jeans to a well cut suit. Often it's what isn't obvious that is far more attractive. I've never been a fan of bum skimming dresses for a night out with friends, but there's no harm at all in women wearing such dresses or skirts if they feel happy and confident in their attire.

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