hello

Hello all.

My name is Solomon just sol for short though.

been in a relationship for just over 2 years now and things have started to die down a bit over the last 6 months so i thought id join up hear and try and benefit from the wealth of knowledge.

We are only 18-19 so i don’t know what’s up, she’s just really really lazy:(

hi sol. welcome to OA. hope things pick up for you. x

good morning Sol, welcome to OA.  Hopefully you'll find some tips around here to rekindle the spark. x

Heya sol, you've probably come to the right place if you're looking for an idea or two. Have fun here!

Hello Sol! Welcome to the forums and I'm sure you'll get some top advice from the Orgasam Army!

SG69 x

hello solomon. welcome to the forums

a little bit of advice if you want it:

just a thought but you say your partners really lazy. well saying it on here and having the attitude of "shes really lazy so i aint gonna try" might not be productive for either of you.  why dont you try something new or try giving her a boot up the backside at some point? yes she may "be lazy" but then the onus falls on you to try and encourage her a bit.

sweetlove666 wrote:

hello solomon. welcome to the forums

a little bit of advice if you want it:

just a thought but you say your partners really lazy. well saying it on here and having the attitude of "shes really lazy so i aint gonna try" might not be productive for either of you.  why dont you try something new or try giving her a boot up the backside at some point? yes she may "be lazy" but then the onus falls on you to try and encourage her a bit.

i do try really hard but she's not having any of it:(

do you know why she isnt receptive of it? is it something in her upbringing, stress, or a busy scedule that might mean she dosent want sex or to try new things.

i know if im stressed and busy my sex drive goes out of the window sometimes.

have you tried talking to her about it maybe?

Nope no busy schedule no stress.

she’d just seems to rather sit down and watch tv and if we do do anything then it goes something like this.

Me teasing her

oh don’t tease i don’t like it, so it just turns into oral for her

then if i stop to go onto something else she tells me to carry on.

she realises that i actually have a nob and does something to that (last 30 seconds maybe before she orgasms)

she orgasms looses any sort of turned on ness and doesn’t bother with me (if she does do something for me then there’s never any effort put in and I have to use my hands to get myself to a point where im about to orgasm)

so its all over in 10 mins for her and it doesn’t even start for me.

I’m not allowed to receive first because that’s "just selfish"

and if its ever just sex then she just lies there and i do everything.

It never used to be like this just the last year or so and it’s got really bad the last six months

well maybe you need to talk to her, as it sounds like there is a build up of resentment.  gently say that you would like a change in routine.  dont go blaming her, or calling her lazy or other names as that will only make things worse for you. why not focus on why she dosent put the effort in any more and why you get so frustrated  rather than focusing on your needs, this  might  help a little.

is oral the only way she can orgasm? maybe that might be why she likes it so much, remember it takes women an lot longer to orgasm then  it does men.

relationships do change over time and its not always gonna be red hot passion.

Hullo and welcome.  Oh dear, that doesn't sound like a happy relationship.  I agree with sweetlove that you guys need to sit down and talk about your wants and what makes you happy and unhappy.  That's the only way to resolve it.  Doens't sound like she's being really fair but we don't know the whole picture.  Presuurising her won't help but hopefully talk will.  Relate the counselling service may be worth looking into if you're in the relationship for keeps and talking  by yourselves doesn't help.  Good luck.

um ive had a chat in the past and we agreed on stuff but nothig really changed:(

not the best time at the moment to try and talk about it i will when shes in a better mood though.

thanks

hm whatever suggestions we have made have been met with some negativity by you (or it seems that way)

it is up to both of you to want to change, and being pessimistic will not help either of you.  when you do have the chat approach the remedies you both make with a positive attitude and tons of commitment

Hello hope your ok other than the thing with your girlfriend

Hi sol1821 and welcome to the forums. I'd suggest chucking your telly out of the window...

Seriously, I hope you and your partner can find some inspiration on here - have you tried showing her the shop pages? I'm sure she'd find somethng to spark her interest  - but let her find it - for goodness sake don't point to a huge dildo and say "want to try that hun"?

JayGee wrote:

Hi sol1821 and welcome to the forums. I'd suggest chucking your telly out of the window...

Seriously, I hope you and your partner can find some inspiration on here - have you tried showing her the shop pages? I'm sure she'd find somethng to spark her interest  - but let her find it - for goodness sake don't point to a huge dildo and say "want to try that hun"?

we have a collection of toys all of which she’s used once but that’s it, i don’t think it’s a bored of sex sort of thing, hard to explain really, i had a chat with her today, nothing up, she enjoys sex and feels satisfied afterwards, she doesn’t know what’s up either, she just says she’s never really in the mood, i don’t think she was lying i can usually tell when she is.

Sorry to hear that sol - as others have rightly said, maybe it's time for a bit of frank and serious talking, either just you two or with some outside input. At 18/19, you should be enjoying your sexuality, not sitting there festering like some old couple (no offense to any old couples BTW - we are one). I wish you both good luck and happier times ahead

 Hello sol1821 and welcome to the forums.  :)

If things are that bad, if she is that lazy, and if you are that unsatisfied, is there a reason you have stayed in the relationship?

Lubyanka wrote:

 Hello sol1821 and welcome to the forums.  :)

If things are that bad, if she is that lazy, and if you are that unsatisfied, is there a reason you have stayed in the relationship?

Sounds a bit girly :p but i do love her, and sex isn’t the most important thing ever is it? (Does that sound like I’m lying to myself??:p) besides there’s always Mrs. palm and her 5 lovely daughters to relive any sexual tension, it just means I’m missing out on the closeness, intimacy and all the other bits of sex.

 Ok, that sounds really positive.  Have you told her you're missing closeness and intimacy?  Did you know you can have those things independently of sex?