fed-up with (bad) pervs friend request, can you...

HappyCouple wrote:

Well, I promise not to chat up anyone I add on LH forum as I have an amazing other half 

I get random adds and accept them, if I am online and at the computer I am willing to chat. Being in a long distance relationship its sometimes nice to talk openly to people that I am not going to meet IRL (in real life). I am also willing to give my honest opinion as/when anyone asks.

Sorry OP, I added you as a joke.

I don't think you need to apologise in my opinion if you haven't been 'pervy' although I'm unsure what the joke is.

We are not all aware of other people's boundaries online and I think from your behaviour on the forum (and name) you don't seem a perv. I don't only accept people I consider friends, but I do add people I think I could enjoy being friends with.

I think people (i.e the pervs) need to use their common sense, not everyone wants to cyber, if you do f*ck off to another site or treat people as if they don't.

It was a bad taste joke adding someone that's started a thread bitching about people adding them.

This has always worried me actually...a couple of people have been pervy, but I unadded them straight away. I wish people realised that this wasnt a sex 'chat' site.

I dont tend to use the chat function all that much actually, as i dont know whether or not its appropriate to start a conversation, or what to say!

Just confirmed/rejected a load of friend requests just now... Loads from people I've never heard of! Not giving actual names but when random usernames *like* Hornyandsingle and Manwholuvstofuk and the like are getting a little tiresome.

Yep have a good ol moan and reject the lot not a lot you can do AA

Yeah it's annoying and yeah it's not polite....BUT...it's a site about sex....and there's a lot of attractive people in a lot of cases showing some very sexy pics off.

It's going to happen...deal with it.

That's my attitude on the issue, though if LH do something about it then everyone is happy.

I think the "X number of forum posts before you can send friend requests out" is a good idea.

Strapon! wrote:

Yeah it's annoying and yeah it's not polite....BUT...it's a site about sex....and there's a lot of attractive people in a lot of cases showing some very sexy pics off.

It's going to happen...deal with it.

That's my attitude on the issue, though if LH do something about it then everyone is happy.

I think the "X number of forum posts before you can send friend requests out" is a good idea.

But we/they shouldn't have to... I don't want to point out the similarities to that old "well, she was asking for it" excuse...

Strapon! wrote:

Yeah it's annoying and yeah it's not polite....BUT...it's a site about sex....and there's a lot of attractive people in a lot of cases showing some very sexy pics off.

It's going to happen...deal with it.

Problem is you shouldn't *have* to deal with. It's one of the few areas where sexism remains - women talking about sex openly are just seen as "easy" and it's just plain sexist!

I'm sure it happens to men too but nowhere near as much!

Adx

Alicia D'amore wrote:

Strapon! wrote:

Yeah it's annoying and yeah it's not polite....BUT...it's a site about sex....and there's a lot of attractive people in a lot of cases showing some very sexy pics off.

It's going to happen...deal with it.

Problem is you shouldn't *have* to deal with. It's one of the few areas where sexism remains - women talking about sex openly are just seen as "easy" and it's just plain sexist!

I'm sure it happens to men too but nowhere near as much!

Adx

I wish it happened to men often... 

Yeah of course we shouldn't have to....but I feel there would also be an argument to say:

1. We know it happens on websites such as this and clearly we've all chosen to join.

2. We are given the opportunity to ignore the request, so it's not like there aren't any 'controls' in place

I'm not justifying it, but I just feel as though it just needs to be accepted as part of being here. Consider it like tax....LH tax! :-p

HappyCouple wrote:

Alicia D'amore wrote:

Strapon! wrote:

Yeah it's annoying and yeah it's not polite....BUT...it's a site about sex....and there's a lot of attractive people in a lot of cases showing some very sexy pics off.

It's going to happen...deal with it.

Problem is you shouldn't *have* to deal with. It's one of the few areas where sexism remains - women talking about sex openly are just seen as "easy" and it's just plain sexist!

I'm sure it happens to men too but nowhere near as much!

Adx

 

I wish it happened to men often... 

That's 'cause *all* men *only* want sex

Adx

HappyCouple wrote:

Alicia D'amore wrote:

I'm sure it happens to men too but nowhere near as much!

I wish it happened to men often... 

Me too! I mean, it's tricky knowing how to steer a conversation when all you see in the forums is girls complaining about creepy weirdos on the chat. As a paranoid man, it's a constant worry as to whether I'm overstepping the boundaries without realising.

Alicia D'amore wrote:

HappyCouple wrote:

Alicia D'amore wrote:

Strapon! wrote:

Yeah it's annoying and yeah it's not polite....BUT...it's a site about sex....and there's a lot of attractive people in a lot of cases showing some very sexy pics off.

It's going to happen...deal with it.

Problem is you shouldn't *have* to deal with. It's one of the few areas where sexism remains - women talking about sex openly are just seen as "easy" and it's just plain sexist!

I'm sure it happens to men too but nowhere near as much!

Adx

 

I wish it happened to men often... 

That's 'cause *all* men *only* want sex

Adx

I am not just after sex... this is my 4'th year of long-distancing it with my OH... only 6 months left and I will have finished my 4 years at uni .  When we do meet tho.... it's amazing, guess some things are worth waiting for!

Strapon! wrote:

Yeah of course we shouldn't have to....but I feel there would also be an argument to say:

1. We know it happens on websites such as this and clearly we've all chosen to join.

2. We are given the opportunity to ignore the request, so it's not like there aren't any 'controls' in place

I'm not justifying it, but I just feel as though it just needs to be accepted as part of being here. Consider it like tax....LH tax! :-p

Yeah but I don't agree with number 1! Just 'cause we talk about sex doesn't mean it's acceptable for people to assume users want sex from just *anyone*. It's not doing much good for the benefit of society if we say "well it's our own fault for being open minded" we should be standing up against it because it shouldn't be a view that talking about sex makes you easy! It's exactly because of the nature of this place that people shouldn't assume all the women here are easy!

I do agree with 2 though and I rarely accept people I don't know very well because, well I'm not just moaning for the sake of it, I genuinely don't want pervy knobs (the bad pervs) to talk to me!

Adxx

Mr Monster wrote:

HappyCouple wrote:

Alicia D'amore wrote:

I'm sure it happens to men too but nowhere near as much!

I wish it happened to men often... 

Me too! I mean, it's tricky knowing how to steer a conversation when all you see in the forums is girls complaining about creepy weirdos on the chat. As a paranoid man, it's a constant worry as to whether I'm overstepping the boundaries without realising.

Know what you mean, just keep doing what you are doing until more than one person tells you to "STFU" or something along those lines. There is always one grumpy 'person' that you have to ignore but when a couple of people tell you the same thing... its time to listen.

HappyCouple wrote:

 

Alicia D'amore wrote:

HappyCouple wrote:

Alicia D'amore wrote:

Strapon! wrote:

Yeah it's annoying and yeah it's not polite....BUT...it's a site about sex....and there's a lot of attractive people in a lot of cases showing some very sexy pics off.

It's going to happen...deal with it.

Problem is you shouldn't *have* to deal with. It's one of the few areas where sexism remains - women talking about sex openly are just seen as "easy" and it's just plain sexist!

I'm sure it happens to men too but nowhere near as much!

Adx

 

I wish it happened to men often... 

That's 'cause *all* men *only* want sex

Adx

I am not just after sex... this is my 4'th year of long-distancing it with my OH... only 6 months left and I will have finished my 4 years at uni .  When we do meet tho.... it's amazing, guess some things are worth waiting for!

You did pick up on the sarcastic hypocrisy of my statement didn't you?

Congrats on the 4 years LD though!

MrMo - you could never overstep the mark because to overstep you'd have to be thoughtless and disrespectful and you are neither!

I talk to men and women as friends in the same way, but I avoid men who see me as "just" a woman like the plague! Just like I avoid women who see me as "just" a woman too, it just happens less often.

Adx

Strapon! wrote:

Yeah of course we shouldn't have to....but I feel there would also be an argument to say:

1. We know it happens on websites such as this and clearly we've all chosen to join.

2. We are given the opportunity to ignore the request, so it's not like there aren't any 'controls' in place

I'm not justifying it, but I just feel as though it just needs to be accepted as part of being here. Consider it like tax....LH tax! :-p

Ah. Clarification appreciated. The initial post just seemed a bit dismissive.

I agree, it just seems a shame that people feel they need to censor potential friends.

I talk to men and women as friends in the same way, but I avoid men who see me as "just" a woman like the plague! Just like I avoid women who see me as "just" a woman too, it just happens less often.

Erm... You want us to see you as both a man and a woman? 

HappyCouple wrote:

I talk to men and women as friends in the same way, but I avoid men who see me as "just" a woman like the plague! Just like I avoid women who see me as "just" a woman too, it just happens less often.

Erm... You want us to see you as both a man and a woman? 

Haha funny!

I'm happy to be viewed as a woman as long as that's not my *only* role - I'm also many other things

As are most people - I feel quite strongly that we should treat people as individual people not as a member of a particular group because it's all too easy to generalise and not "notice" other important parts of people!

Adx

So now you want us to notice you as both a man and a woman whilst also noticing your other parts!

You are hard work Alicia!

On a serious level though...totally agree with u.

But I think you're giving perv requesters WAAAAY too much credit...they are just horny! I doubt they are thinking of you as a "woman"....they are not using their head when they get on LH, they are using LH to get head!