• Caption Competition....PRIZES

    1468265238
    Billy No Mates [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 23 Jan 2013

    Is it a Dildo or a didgeridoo? Hell Suck or Blow?

    1468269784
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1298
    • Joined: 27 Feb 2010

    Hey Neal I've got an local on the phone he says he's noticed we are going to be selling dildos of all shapes and sizes, so he's saying don't worry over importing them, he's got thousands in his back yard, and he'd be mighty grateful if we would just come and take them him, cos he's fed up of them.

    Hang on on a minute he's says we can have them for nothing, if we don't mind rounding up the little b****s our selves, as his back yard is about a 1000 square miles.

    What; no we sell dildos, not dingos !!!!! you dig bat.

    1468280680
    Happybunnies2gether [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 4
    • Joined: 27 May 2016

    I love being the boss here as before when I use to lie my nose grew! now very time I lie the dildos grow bigger, look my nose should be this long by now......

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    Happybunnies2gether [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 4
    • Joined: 27 May 2016

    " get the product development department on the dog and bone as this is not what I meant when I said I want to listen to massive improvements!

    1468314072
    MysticalMayhem [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1172
    • Joined: 19 Jan 2015

    "This British weather is awful, I'm going to book some flights to Lovehoney Australia"

    "That's not a phone, dick"

    1468316747
    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1695
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2014

    Loving these captions ! What a great read after a long weekend ... Yes,I took a day off yesterday surprise

    This will close at Midday ready to select a winner this afternoon , woop ! heart

    1468317858
    InnocentMe [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 13 Mar 2015

    She could only get this much in when she gave me a gobby

    1468318261
    MysticalMayhem [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1172
    • Joined: 19 Jan 2015

    While in reception, some rogue Lovehoney employee snuck behind the owners backs and increased minimum spend for free postage!! :O

    "Call the police!"

    "I'm on it! Get me the dildophone!"

    1468318920
    jimbogemini [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2915
    • Joined: 20 Mar 2014

    Yeah Sheila, this is the same model as used by Skatie Proice.

    1468319672
    bondagegod [sign in to see picture]
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    • Posts: 5983
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2015

    Neal: So this is phone sex, I can't see the craze myself.

    Richard's thoughts: How do I tell him he's doing phone sex all wrong?
    I know I just stand here with a smile on face and hope Neal changes the subject.

    1468320351
    bondagegod [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 5983
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2015

    Or this one.

    Neal: So this is phone sex, this is great fun I could sit here all day and do this.

    Richard's thoughts: How do I tell him he's doing phone sex all wrong? This is one of those embarrassing moments when you don't know what to say to your mate.
    I know I just stand here with a smile on face and pretend I don't know what's really going on.

    Hope beccy don't come back to soon.

    1468320423
    Applemango [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 70
    • Joined: 30 Jun 2013

    Richard and Neal were relieved when it was clarified that the dildo and not one of them would be the receiver.

    1468321379
    Colonel Lube [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 157
    • Joined: 6 Oct 2005

    Hey mate can we change the ring tone. Every time someone calls all i get is a big dong.

    1468322630
    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 4383
    • Joined: 4 Dec 2012

    I suppose i have a reputation for saying things others are thinking so, here goes...
    ------
    Neal: this seems like an ideal way to shaft our customers
    Richard: nah let's just do the usual and put our free delivery threshold up.

    1468323180
    Anewman [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 27 Apr 2011

    Becky wasn't joking when she said "be well prepared, you might get an earful"

    1468323629
    jimbogemini [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2915
    • Joined: 20 Mar 2014

    So, will there be anyone cumming?

    1468324112
    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 4383
    • Joined: 4 Dec 2012

    Lovehoney bring new definition to answering the fucking phone.

    1468325400
    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1695
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2014

    ***COMPETITION NOW CLOSED*****

    I shall select a winner and announce later today for that fleshlight bundle. 

    1468330112
    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3025
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014
    :)
    1468330870
    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1695
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2014

    The time has come to award winners and pick out some of those captions !

    So  ......

    1st prize and that fleshlight bundle goes to .....

    DavidB1986"You said you wanted a Dick To Phone..."

    "Dictaphone, I said. Dicataphone"

    The Runner's up who shall recieve Oh! Points are ... 

    Scorpius12 "Richard didn’t seem concerned...but as telephone calls go, it was an important business deal - and Neal focussed hard knowing that he was holding the next big thing in the palm of his hand"

    Colonel Lube No I said can you call someone about our grand opening not from a glans opening”

    AsYouWish! “The boss shows the team how to be well mannered at all times, even when it is a massive cock on the phone!”

    And a special mention for this entry , we shall be awarding some oh! points your way too !

    Bondagegod:

    "Especially for you

    I wanna let you know what I was going through

    All the time we were apart

    I thought of you

    You were in my hand

    My love never changed

    I still feel the same

    as I'm holding this large dildo

    Especially for you

    I wanna tell you I was feeling that way too

    And if dreams were wings, you know

    I would have flown to you

    To be where you are

    No matter how far

    And now that I'm next to you

    In our new Australian HQ

    No more dreaming about tomorrow

    Forget the loneliness and the sorrow

    I've got to say

    It's all because of you

    We now own this rather large dildo

    And now we're back together, together

    I wanna show you my heart is oh so true

    And all the love I have is

    Especially for you

    And our new purchase from lovehoney

    Especially for you

    I wanna tell you, you mean all the world to me

    How I'm certain that our love was meant to be

    You changed my life

    You showed me the way

    And now that I'm next to you

    Joined by our rather large dildo

    I've waited long enough to find you

    I wanna put all the hurt behind you

    Oh, (with a dildo that size)

    And I wanna bring out all the love(honey) inside you, and

    Oh

    And now we're back together, together

    I wanna show you my heart is oh so true

    And all the love I have is

    Especially for you

    And our new purchase from lovehoney

    You were in my heart

    My love never changed

    Because lovehoney will always be there.

    Duet by Neal and Richard."

    Great posts guys , well done all. Super imaginative and very funny. 

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