• Reporting Threads - Please Read :)

    1448015391
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    MysticalMayhem wrote:

    I have a question;

    Say there's a disagreement.

    X makes a thread about something or other.
    Y doesn't agree.
    X does agree.
    A few others are in two minds.
    The conversation gets heated.
    You guys step in and remove thread.

    Do you email X Y and Z explaining why you've removed the thread? Or do you just email X? Or not email at all? I've always wondered this.

    Hmm - this is an unusual situation and we do encourage conversation and discussion. Just because people disagree with one another isn't a reason to take a thread down. In this instance we would be most likely to step in by posting on the thread itself and offering a gentle reminder to be nice to one another or (where necessary) to point people to the rules. We can also hide individual posts rather than the entire thread, which enables us to take some of the heat out of a situation, without closing the whole thread.

    If it comes to a point where we DO decide to take down a thread then we would usually only email the rule breaker(s) if there are any, but we treat each incident individually.

    For example, there have been times in the past when a thread has needed to be removed for one reason or another, and we've felt that due to the subject content or knowing the member's personality that they would benefit from an explaination from us, but it's not always necessary. It really does depend on the case in hand. 

    1448015901
    MysticalMayhem [sign in to see picture]
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    I see. Thanks Jess. I'd love to be a moderator. But instead I work in a cafe/bakery. Life isn't so bad LOL.

    1448019830
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovehoney - Jess wrote:

    MysticalMayhem wrote:

    I have a question;

    Say there's a disagreement.

    X makes a thread about something or other.
    Y doesn't agree.
    X does agree.
    A few others are in two minds.
    The conversation gets heated.
    You guys step in and remove thread.

    Do you email X Y and Z explaining why you've removed the thread? Or do you just email X? Or not email at all? I've always wondered this.

    Hmm - this is an unusual situation and we do encourage conversation and discussion. Just because people disagree with one another isn't a reason to take a thread down. In this instance we would be most likely to step in by posting on the thread itself and offering a gentle reminder to be nice to one another or (where necessary) to point people to the rules. We can also hide individual posts rather than the entire thread, which enables us to take some of the heat out of a situation, without closing the whole thread.

    If it comes to a point where we DO decide to take down a thread then we would usually only email the rule breaker(s) if there are any, but we treat each incident individually.

    For example, there have been times in the past when a thread has needed to be removed for one reason or another, and we've felt that due to the subject content or knowing the member's personality that they would benefit from an explaination from us, but it's not always necessary. It really does depend on the case in hand.

    In the case I gave an example of then not only would the offending post would need removing then all the ones with "+!" after would also need removing otherwise the whole thread may not make sense.

    Is that the way that you would treat this situation ?

    1448025219
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 30 Nov 2012

    mysteron wrote:

    Lovehoney - Jess wrote:

    MysticalMayhem wrote:

    I have a question;

    Say there's a disagreement.

    X makes a thread about something or other.
    Y doesn't agree.
    X does agree.
    A few others are in two minds.
    The conversation gets heated.
    You guys step in and remove thread.

    Do you email X Y and Z explaining why you've removed the thread? Or do you just email X? Or not email at all? I've always wondered this.

    Hmm - this is an unusual situation and we do encourage conversation and discussion. Just because people disagree with one another isn't a reason to take a thread down. In this instance we would be most likely to step in by posting on the thread itself and offering a gentle reminder to be nice to one another or (where necessary) to point people to the rules. We can also hide individual posts rather than the entire thread, which enables us to take some of the heat out of a situation, without closing the whole thread.

    If it comes to a point where we DO decide to take down a thread then we would usually only email the rule breaker(s) if there are any, but we treat each incident individually.

    For example, there have been times in the past when a thread has needed to be removed for one reason or another, and we've felt that due to the subject content or knowing the member's personality that they would benefit from an explaination from us, but it's not always necessary. It really does depend on the case in hand.

    In the case I gave an example of then not only would the offending post would need removing then all the ones with "+!" after would also need removing otherwise the whole thread may not make sense.

    Is that the way that you would treat this situation ?

    You got it. We remove +1's and quotes too. 

    1448026401
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks Jess thats great.

    I think it will help and encourtage new members to post their opinions without the fear of being blasted by existing members . After it can be daunting enough posting on a forum if its your first time .

    1448029975
    Gyrator53 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 749
    • Joined: 27 Sep 2007

    Thanks Jess

    As you can see I gave been a member here for a long time but I have also been absent for long spells almost always by getting annoyed at an established member jumping down the throat of some new member over starting a new thread.

    Perhaps an amendment to the rules page effectively to say that to tell another member that they have transgressed the rules is itself a transgression might help.

    1448031436
    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Gyrator I can see where you're coming from, but I do think it's helpful for members to tell others when they are breaking the rules, as sometimes the mods may not notice a particular post and at least that person can make sure they don't break the rules from then on.

    However, I think the way it's done is often too harsh or rude, and when you have multiple people ganging up on someone it becomes a problem. I think a lot of us have been guilty of it (myself included) but these days if I see that somebody has already pointed a member to the rules then I won't comment on the thread, because it's unnecessary.

    I would love it if there was an alteration to the rules to specify what is considered a 'recent discussion'. I would say no longer than 1-3 months perhaps, but it seems that if a thread has been inactive for over a year people still get told off for posting new threads on the same topic :/

    1448031901
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Boogaloo wrote:

    Gyrator I can see where you're coming from, but I do think it's helpful for members to tell others when they are breaking the rules, as sometimes the mods may not notice a particular post and at least that person can make sure they don't break the rules from then on.

    However, I think the way it's done is often too harsh or rude, and when you have multiple people ganging up on someone it becomes a problem. I think a lot of us have been guilty of it (myself included) but these days if I see that somebody has already pointed a member to the rules then I won't comment on the thread, because it's unnecessary.

    I would love it if there was an alteration to the rules to specify what is considered a 'recent discussion'. I would say no longer than 1-3 months perhaps, but it seems that if a thread has been inactive for over a year people still get told off for posting new threads on the same topic :/

    I agree Boo becasue I was a bit miffed when Ozz's thread on scents got deleted without explanation. Prior to Ozz starting that thread the last post was Aug 15th on an old thread .

    I ask you should we really be scrolling through that many past threads to find an old thread . The Search button doesn't always help IMO .

    Peoples views and products come and go in all that time .

    I think there are certain instances when a new thread would be most appropriate IMHO and the above example was one of them .

    1448032454
    Gyrator53 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think the usefulness of members pulling up other members (especially new members) to breaking the rules is rather outweighed by making new members feel unwelcome. At times it has felt a bit like a clique where new members are not all that welcome and this is the primary cause. It is far better, if some new member has broken the rules, for the issue to be flagged up and a member of LH staff to email them about it rather than them receiving a public telling off (however carefully done - and it has been anything but carefully done in the past)

    Bear also in mind that the rules here are the reverse of the normal netiquette (google necro posting) so it's not unlikely that someone will fall foul of the rule.

    Also, it's human nature to want to start a discussion to get into the swim and the normal 'hello' threads don't really trigger a discussion which is probably what a lot of new people want.

    1448032656
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Also just to add ( I think I have a bee in my bonnet on this subject) lol.

    Should a new thread be started were an existing one is quite current. Then as opposed to just deleting it, why can't the threads be merged together ? I know this can be done as it happens on my hobby forums .

    It then makes other posters feel that they havn't just waisted 10 minutes of their lives ! :)

    1448033113
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Gyrator53 wrote:

    I think the usefulness of members pulling up other members (especially new members) to breaking the rules is rather outweighed by making new members feel unwelcome. At times it has felt a bit like a clique where new members are not all that welcome and this is the primary cause. It is far better, if some new member has broken the rules, for the issue to be flagged up and a member of LH staff to email them about it rather than them receiving a public telling off (however carefully done - and it has been anything but carefully done in the past)

    Bear also in mind that the rules here are the reverse of the normal netiquette (google necro posting) so it's not unlikely that someone will fall foul of the rule.

    Also, it's human nature to want to start a discussion to get into the swim and the normal 'hello' threads don't really trigger a discussion which is probably what a lot of new people want.

    I agree. I welcome new members posting and having a go at perhaps some of the problems . The existing posters on here will have only so many ideas based on their experiences so new ideas are more than welcomed . I would want to encourage that

    But for that to start we would need them to feel at home on the forum first and bullying is not the way to do it .Sorry if bullying comes accross as a tad strong but ganging up on a single poster is bullying . There are no other words for it IMHO .

    So I am glad LH have had another look at the way things includiing the reporting is done.

    At end of the day I think we all want people to feel happy here .

    1448033800
    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Gyrator yeah I can see what you're saying, that does sound like a nicer way to handle it actually!

    1448034460
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I think we can turn over a new leaf .

    The bullies I think have now left or gone dormant ,unfortunately so have some of the good guys as well . Brum Guy and Ozz come to mind here and I would welcome both of them back with open arms .

    I think the problem with what I all the bullies is that becasue they were established members they seem to think that they were qualified to take the law into their own hands and became self appointed mods but without any powers as such .

    So time to move on me thinks and encourage new members to post.

    1448034957
    jimbogemini [sign in to see picture]
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    So, the new thread, old thread debate rumbles on. Part of not using the search function is down to laziness. Many old threads hold very good information and could be useful to someone who posts what is deemed, sometimes, to be a duplicate thread. So in some cases it would be better if they explored it first. I think the Moderaters have enough on their hands without getting rid of threads of a certain age. Now I'm always of the opinion if a facility exists, use it.

    Like Boo, I consider myself guilty of pointing out a thread on a specific subject already existed or indeed +1 on a similar point. Most new posters are quite happy to accept the information on existing links. On the subject of the "scent" thread, I was sure I had seen it before, did a search et voila, there it was. Didn't make any comment on it but followed it to conclusion. Oz, the OP stated at some point on a thread, if I remember correctly she didn't fully understand the search function. Maybe a lesson to be familiar with the guidelines laid down by Lovehoney for all.

    There are people on here who think only their opinion counts but that, unfortunately is life. There are always two sides to a story but some really can't accept it. I like things to be stable and peaceful. I've only been around on here a relatively short time but have seen many come and go. Mostly I would think due to disharmony. A fair amount of them I miss. Over and out, but still here.

    1448035021
    Stuburns [sign in to see picture]
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    I think all that was needed to be said was by Jess and everyone should now just get on with it πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ˜Š

    1448040900
    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    I think we can turn over a new leaf .

    The bullies I think have now left or gone dormant ,unfortunately so have some of the good guys as well . Brum Guy and Ozz come to mind here and I would welcome both of them back with open arms .

    I think the problem with what I all the bullies is that becasue they were established members they seem to think that they were qualified to take the law into their own hands and became self appointed mods but without any powers as such .

    So time to move on me thinks and encourage new members to post.

    I think the problem is you are not looking at this objectively.

    Ozz made a duplicate thread while being stand offish from the first post. Ozz was very rude to another member who made a joke. A JOKE which pointed out there was an easilly found thread on the same topic. Bad atmosphere ensued. Ozz took things the wrong way (including my comment, which I tried to explain to her and aplogise for but was of course ignored-that makes me some bully, eh? Trying to clear things up?) and once the thread was gone, made out that it was others who had 'ruined' the thread when in fact the very first piece of negativity and bad attitude towards other members came from her. Had she said she did not know how to use the search function properly rather than be rude to other members nothing would have came of it and people actually would have helped. The bad attitude does not only come from 'established members'.

    Please stop making out this is a victim and bully scenario because it is not. You've had your say, many times now, that you don't think the thread should have been removed and that you think Ozz has been vistimised. Good for you. I don't think LittleSwitchBitch should have been attacked over making a joke. I don't think we should still be talking about this thread like there was any injustice in removing it. I think this is very much a case of things being taken out of context online and major over reactions, and yes I am including Ozz's decision to leave as an over reaction because it was made perfectly clear that she is welcome and no one is holding anything against her. But there you go.

    EVERYONE is welcome here, and frankly your attitude that there are bullies and victims is only compounding the problem. You are saying that it's a good thing certain memebers have gone quiet, yet a pity that others have. That you'd welcome some members back, but not others. That is exactly the cliquey attitude that makes others stay away. I don't think there is anyone here that hasn't had some kind of spat or misunderstanding with someone else, and yes it is very upsetting the first time it happens, but if we were all chased away as bullies everytime we did so there'd be no one left! This is the point where we do as Jess says and act like adults, which includes ackowledging when we or our friends are at fault rather than just pointing fingers.

    1448042673
    MysticalMayhem [sign in to see picture]
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    I think the issue with Ozz (I hope this doesn't get me reported!) has been blown the wrong way. If you had seen her Twitter interactions as well as the forum interactions you would've seen that she wasn't the innocent one that she was making out to be. She was very good at planting blame and turning things around so that she was the damsel in distress. So, on that situation, I think removing her threads was the right decision completely. A lot of people were feeling sorry for her when she actively turned people against others.

    Anyway. Like Jess has said. Report what you don't like. Read posts before posting. And hopefully we can all be a happy family :)

    1448042873
    Lovethekink [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm with Lovebirds_x completely on this.

    Let's call this a day now, Jess has made her point about posts being reported if needs be and I think that should now be the end of it all.

    This to'ing and fro'ing isn't getting anyone anywhere.

    1448042931
    MysticalMayhem [sign in to see picture]
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    I think you are right jessicaleon :)

    Let's all be friends and eat cake

    1448051375
    MysticalMayhem [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh, and a note on disagreements....

    If anyone remembers MrsMcX, oh my gosh, her and I had sooo many arguments, we clashed like nobody's business!! But, I'd love to see her back on the forums!!

    Same with PinkAnimal, Young&Fun95 and a few others. We've all had our misunderstandings but we all put it behind us and move on. Oh, and Ikey, where's he these days? I'm just plucking out names I remember from having a little tiff or two with, or disagreement, or someone I know has, but they are all lovely people.

    People come and go for a variety of reasons. It would be great if everyone stayed, but some people just, you know, move on.

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