• Public Wishlists

    Nattie&Craig [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 2
    • Joined: 24 Mar 2013

    We have wish list but only for the sextoy testing. Our extensive list of things we want is private so it's just there as a reminder. Couldn't imagine buying something when you don't know someone

    myghost [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1732
    • Joined: 30 Dec 2012

    All my wish lists are public i use them to keep track of things i want to buy but i don't mind the off chance that someone might buy me something off one of them. also i believe public wishlists as well as forum posts and things received from LH are used to get a feel for the things you like in terms of getting top secret testers

    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1285
    • Joined: 19 Aug 2010

    Fluffbags wrote:

    So, nobody actually loses. Everyone involved in that dynamic walks away happy with their decision. (all parties consented) Maybe we feel uncomfortable with it because most of us work hard for our treats and see it as people taking advantage and getting hand outs for free, when we personally had to spend hard earned cash. Maybe that's what makes people uncomfortable with it. Or maybe we were raised not to beg, or that begging is lowering yourself. I dunno. Point is though, it might be seen as negative (degrading, selling yourself etc) but it is that persons right to make those choices and if they feel happy with it and no one is getting hurt, then who cares really?

    The thing is, when someone solicits for presents in the forum, then others are involved without their consent and the practice goes against community standards of what's acceptable in this particular public space. The forums are to talk about kinks and what not, not to engage in them or seek partners.

    A couple of men who no longer participate felt like they'd been taken advantage of after gifting someone. I don't know any details, just that there were some bad feelings, but I think it illustrates that concern about or fear of being taken advantage can be legitimate. The begging threads that I've seen have felt like chancing too, motivated by greed or perhaps a 'what can I get someone to do for me' kind of power trip, rather than kink.

    So whatever additional reactions these posts and profile content might bring up, I wouldn't see it just in terms of kink or the tendency to accept anything that can be considered kink as fine, but more in terms of engaging in it publicly and involving bystanders without their consent.

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