In 2012 rechargeable vibrators are king. They’re economical, easy to use and are quickly repowered when they’re running on empty. You might be surprised that my sex toy pick this week is a battery-powered vibe.
There are times when rechargeable vibrators just aren’t convenient, and one of those times is when you’re off on your travels. I’ve made no secret in naming Lelo Mia (£34.99) as my favourite all-purpose bullet vibrator, but in the absence of a USB socket your power is going to cut out sooner or later, leaving you in the lurch.
I recently travelled to Budapest for a particularly long festival which saw me camping in the woods for 8 nights, devoid of any power supply for my beloved bullet. I therefore had to pick an alternative sleeping-bag buddy for the duration of my stay. I wanted something with varied function with resonant vibrations to keep me happy and the Lovehoney Bedtime Bullet Vibrator (£16.99) ticked all of my boxes.
Jiggle balls are the hot topic at the moment thanks to Fifty Shades of Grey, but there’s a lot more to kegel exercisers and Ben Wa balls than meets the eye. As well as the better-known weighted balls, there are also sets of pleasure balls that incorporate technology into their design to create all new experiences for the wearer.
In Fifty Shades, Ana enjoys wearing her balls during a spanking. With every spank her body tightens around the balls, increasing the pressure she feels from those free-roaming weights. Thanks to luxury sex toy makers Swan, the ante has been well and truly upped.
This week's Awesome Sex Toy is the Swan Clutch Vibrating Jiggle Balls (£70.00), a set of luxury jiggle balls that have replaced the internal roaming weights with vibrating motors which respond to your squeezes. The harder you clench your muscles around Clutch, the stronger it vibrates. Free roaming weights are fun, but they’re left in the dust by this kind of responsive play.
Spanking is a practice that teeters on the edge of vanilla and BDSM. You don’t have to be into the bells and whistles of fetish fun in order to enjoy the odd slap on the behind during sex, and there’s a lot of fun to be had with the bare palm/buttock combo in the boudoir.
If you do enjoy the odd botty spank then you might consider trying a spanking paddle. These simple bat-like toys offer a much needed extension to the hand when it comes to face-to-face positions, allowing you to try spanking in new ways.
If you’re a little sheepish about making the move from palm to paddle, the Love to Love spanking range may well be your ticket to paddlesville. The Love to Love Spanking Paddle, ‘Spank Me Baby’ Spanking Powder and ‘Girls Don’t Cry’ After Spanking Cream turn paddle play into a whole new bat game.
Heavy metal is pretty awesome stuff, and for once I’m not talking about the music genre. When it comes to weight and pressure, very little lives up to the skills of a good metal dildo. They’re cool, hard and completely rigid, and they weigh more inch for inch than glass or any other sex toy material.
Metal sex toys tend to be quite beautiful and intricately cast with sweeping curves and a high-polished finish. This week's Awesome Sex Toy is no exception and it even comes with its own padded flight case. If you love simultaneous clitoral and vaginal stimulation, you’ll love the Metal Worx Double Trouble Metal Dildo.
When I first took this dildo out of the case, I was a bit confused. I couldn’t work out how you’d insert it both vaginally and anally at the same time and there was also something strangely familiar about the shape. I sat it on my desk and watched it for a while, rocking it on its upward curve by intermittently knocking the finger loop.
Seeing it rock back and forth on the curve, I immediately knew what this dildo emulates - the classic two finger vaginal plunge with clitoral thumb stimulation. Brilliant!
Looking for a 100% organic dildo grown to your exact specifications? Look no further...
As you can imagine, I get some bizarre things sent to me in the post, but this sample cucumber dildo has got to be up there with one of the weirdest (and best!). We're all familiar with the odd phallic-shape vegetable but this cucumber was specially crafted by a green-fingered entrepreneur who is producing a kit to let you grow your very own cucumber cock.
We're told the seeds and special mould are currently in development, but the instructions are simple:
"Sow the seeds in spring, grow plant as you would any other (greenhouse/inside by a sunny window), wait till they flower then clamp on the mould, wait a week then bosh out pops your fruit!"
Keep your eyes peeled for further developments.
There are few things as expensive as sex furniture, sex dolls and sex machines in the sex toy world. These intricately detailed pleasure givers take a lot of thought, craftsmanship and effort to put together as well as a bulk load of materials. It’s no wonder they cost a pretty penny.
Every now and then a mould breaker comes along that sticks a pointy tongue out in the direction of convention, leaving me WTFing in the most splendid of ways. This week's Awesome Sex Toy combines two of the most expensive sex toy types available and slaps a surprising price tag on it to boot.
Fans of sex machines and bondage furniture, I give you the Louisiana Lounger Sex Toy Machine (£139.99).
This spectacularly economical bit of kit incorporates a bondage couch, sex position furniture and a thrusting sex machine in one inflatable package.
There’s a lot to be said for the novelty factor when it comes to sex toys. As the writer of many of the Lovehoney product descriptions, I get to see and manhandle a lot of sex toys. Looking back over my previous ASTOTW posts, it’s clear I have a special fondness for quirky design.
Doc Johnson may be a little late to get Vac-U-Lock aboard the novelty train, but this week’s Awesome Sex Toy makes a great case for fun also being practical. I introduce to you the Doc Johnson Vac-U-Lock Knuckle Up Duster Plug (£8.00). RAWK!
If you’re a fan of the Vac-U-Lock range then you’ll be down with their special plug system. Each harness, handle and machine features one of their standard plugs, allowing you to use their wide range of Vac-U-Lock dildos, vibrators and anal tools with any of their suckers, harnesses and other plug-based paraphernalia.
An ever-changing figurehead for sex toys, rabbit vibrators are constantly receiving tweaks and changes in order to produce the ultimate inside-and-out vibe.
Twisting, twirling, thrusting and spinning rabbit vibrators have all been created, but this week’s Awesome Sex Toy takes things back to basics. The Happy Rabbit is home to three vibrating motors which operate in sync with one another to create powerful vibrations which are consistent throughout the full length of the toy.
Motors are housed in the base and tip of the shaft, providing the bulk of the rabbit’s power, while a third motor offers animation to the rabbit stimulator. The most impressive part of this set-up comes from the patterns. Many vibrating sex toys have motors that follow the same patterns at the same time, but Happy Rabbit chooses to operate different motors at different times, offering a sensation that feels more like throbbing than buzzing.
Male sex toys tend to fall into three categories: there are ones you put your penis in, ones you put on your penis and ones you put in your ass. Seems fairly logical, doesn’t it? But this week's Awesome Sex Toy defies convention by having nothing to do with your penis or your derriere, no Siree. The Adam and Eve Cyberskin Ball Sack Vibrator (£15.00) is all about your balls, baby.
This inventive vibrator has been designed to slip over your scrotum to give you a delirious cupped sensation to accompany masturbation, foreplay and other sexual pursuits. It’s made from Cyberskin for a skin-like feel that provides a comfortable cradle for your testes without being overly restrictive or inhibiting.
The genius comes courtesy of a bullet vibrator which slots into the base of this sack snuggler, transforming it into a whirring, shaking massager for your babymakers. Unlike a cock ring it doesn’t restrict blood flow to the penis, so you won’t experience numbed sensations or prolonged plateau, allowing you to enjoy enhanced pleasure without putting off your climax. Just pop it on as a side dish to your usual pleasure and enjoy the intensified sensations it brings.
Sex toys are amazing because there are some kinks you just can’t fulfill without them if you’re single.
Spanking yourself with your hand is never as good as with a paddle, vibrators are often more enjoyable than your own hand and ditto for strokers and male masturbators. And there are definitely some sex acts it’s difficult to perform on your own, like fisting.
Yeah, I’m sure auto-fisting is doable, but it’s got to be awkward. Try just simulating the motion and it’s ‘Oh, hi, lobster claw arm, you look well sexy’ and ‘Hello, arm cramp’. To enjoy a little solo fisting, or perhaps just a slightly smaller fist than your partner’s, you can’t go wrong with Belladonna’s Bitch Fist (£29.99).