• How to have sex with a teddy bear

    Having Sex With a Teddy Bear

    Each week, hundreds of people find Lovehoney after searching the internet for solutions to their sex problems.

    Our alternative agony aunt Hella answers the questions you were too shy to ask anyone (except Google).

    Today:

    How do I have sex with my teddy bear?

    You don’t say if you’re leaning toward furry fetish, you think soft toys offer the best sex simulation platform or you’re just looking for a cuddly companion to get frisky with. Either way around, I can help you to have sex with your teddy bear.

    If it’s all about cuddly textures and you’re a straight man or a lesbian, you may want to think about buying a Teddy Babe or a Teddy Babe Deluxe. These sex dolls are made from soft plush with a squishy fibre filling around their flexible wire frames. They look like woman, they feel like a cuddly toy. With massive boobs and a penetrable pussy, Teddy Babes are an instant fix for furry lovers.

    If you have a specific teddy bear in mind that you want to get freaky with, then we’re going to get a bit Red Peter with some scissors, a needle and thread and your favourite dildo, vibrator or male masturbator.

    jawbreaker ball gag

    Ball gags are a must-have accessory for every dedicated BDSM player, but the taste of some rubber ball gags can be a little off putting. You can choose a silicone ball gag to ensure that your gag will taste neutral or you can try something a little different thanks to the Awesome Sex Toy of the Week.

    This innovative ball gag has a nice big ball measuring 2 inches in diameter to ensure the mouth is securely muffled and a highly adjustable PVC strap to hold it firmly in place. The ball is attractive, decorative and best of all - edible.

    The Kinklab Jawbreaker Gobstopper Ball Gag is made using a retro gobstopper sweet in place of the ball making bad-tasting ball gags a thing of the past.

    Spiders in the shower register highly on many people’s phobia radar. Black, hairy, spindly-legged varmits with 6 eyes and funny feeder things beneath their GIANT FANGS OF DEATH. It’s not a sexually happy image, is it?

    Fortunately I’m not scared of spiders, so when Halloween rocks around you’ll find me in the local toy shop stocking up on fake plastic spiders to place between shower bottles, next to plug holes and in random corners to scare the bejesus out of my friends. Nothing funnier than a fully-grown man legging it out of the bathroom because of a plastic spider.

    If I start to feel guilty about doing this to my boyfriend (unlikely!), then I might be able to make amends by putting a different kind of Spider in the shower. There’s nothing creepy, crawly or bitey about my Awesome Sex Toy of the Week.

    The Spider Hands-Free Male Masturbator is much better than a big old bug in the bathroom...

    ultra-zone-geisha-male-masturbatorI’ve been a fan of sex toys and Japanese animation for years and years.

    Anything that blends these two things together in an anime/hentai-style fusion has me squealing and bouncing like a purple-haired, saucer-eyed girl in a sailor costume.

    This week's Awesome Sex Toy comes from Fun Zone in the form of the Ultra Zone Geisha Male Masturbators.

    Fun Zone have really upped the stakes in male masturbators by creating these ‘ultimate aficionado’ kits that contains a bit of kit I didn’t even know existed...

    Hella Sex DollEach week, hundreds of people find Lovehoney after searching the internet for solutions to their sex problems.

    Our alternative agony aunt Hella answers the questions you were too shy to ask anyone (except Google).

    Today:

    How can I get my girlfriend to tape her fingers together and pretend she's a dinosaur?

    I’ve dealt with puppy play and pony play before, but this is a new one on me. I’m not sure which angle you’re going for here.

    Are you on a gigantism kick, genuinely turned-on by massive lizards or are you just aiming to make your Mrs look like an idiot?

    I suppose it doesn’t really matter, whether your desire to turn your girlfriend into Godzilla is genuinely sexually motivated or not, it can be done. If you’re unable to hypnotise her like Derren Brown, then follow my easy step-by-step guide to Getting Your Girlfriend to Tape Her Fingers Together and Pretend to be a Dinosaur...

    Light Up Simple Silicone Glow DildoHark back to the days of happy hardcore and opt for a neon shafting with the Awesome Sex Toy of the Week.

    The Light Up Real Silicone Glow Dildo and Light Up Simple Silicone Glow Dildo are more fun than flailing about in a reflector jacket to a 250 bpm soundtrack.

    Each box is packed with a shapely dong and 5 coloured glow sticks that you click, snap and insert into the base, turning your dildo into a rave-ready raunch rod. If you foresee the functionality of these light-up sex toys veering solely toward rowdy hen nights then think again. These dildos are made from silicone - a surprising revelation when the price tag for these beauties is only £18.99.

    The construction of these dildos also allows for a secondary function. Fans of temperature play can opt for a chilled insertion by loading the shaft with water, popping the plug in and sitting the dildo upright in the freezer for a couple of hours.

    A novelty light-up dildo made from silicone that can also chill your bones? Awesome!

    Toothbrush VibratorIt’s important to brush your teeth at least twice a day for two minutes if you want to avoid gnarly gnashers. This week's Awesome Sex Toy has been thoughtfully designed to take care of vagina dentata, but you don’t have to have a set of canines in your cooch for a toothbrush vibrator to be of benefit to your sex life.

    If you’ve ever asked a search engine “Can I use an electric toothbrush as a vibrator?” you might have overlooked the orgasmic capabilities of this humble household essential.

    Don’t pay attention to the advice littering cyberspace proclaiming that electric toothbrushes will sand your clit off, cause injury and just feel crap.

    Electric toothbrushes can and do make good vibrators and they make even better vibrators with a specially designed Tingletip Electric Toothbrush Clitoral Stimulator on board...

    Hella Rabbits

    Each week, hundreds of people find Lovehoney after searching the internet for solutions to their sex problems.

    Our alternative agony aunt Hella answers the questions you were too shy to ask anyone (except Google). 

    Today:

    How to discreetly dispose of your dildo

    I know this problem all too well. It’s difficult to throw your dildo out without marching it to your local dump with it held aloft like the Statue of Liberty’s torch. But fret not, there is an easy alternative...

    Incoqnito Luxury Leather Handcuff BraceletI love those moments when you discover that a friend, colleague or new acquaintance is a little on the kinky side. More often than not those moments are restricted to drunken office nights out or stumbling across a naughty piece of paraphernalia at a dinner party, but there are more subtle pointers offered up by dedicated kinksters.

    The Lelo Insignia range comes with a pretty brooch that wouldn’t raise an eyebrow if pinned to the lapel of an evening jacket and Ring of O- which comes from the classic Story of O - adorns many fingers (including my own) without so much as a comment. In an everyday nod to our sexual inner selves, these little markers make us feel part of a secret society and it’s all a bit fun to take part in. Unfortunately, these trinkets aren’t functional and always leave us extroverts wanting more. Cue Incoqnito.

    Have you ever felt that using a dildo felt too much like hard work? Do you find it hard to angle your toys to get a really satisfying penetration solo? Fear not, this week's Awesome Sex Toy is here to alleviate all of your self-pleasuring woes.

    The Monkey Rocker Hybrid is an eco-friendly sex machine that’s compatible with flat-based dildos and Vac-U-Lock accessories to offer you a penetrative thrill with virtually no effort.

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