When you're picking out the perfect sex toy, what it looks like often plays a huge part in your selection process.
Sure, we may all long for a bulgingly-veined, intricately-detailed flesh-tone dildo with bulbous balls, or a velvety-soft vulva in a tube, but should you accidentally forget to close a drawer or have one of those snoopy roommates, they're not the most... discreet of items.
While we believe no one should be ashamed of masturbating or using sex toys (after all, as Jim's dad would say in American Pie, "It's a perfectly natural, normal thing"), we also appreciate that letting your freak flag quite so blatantly isn't always appropriate.
So, in the name of incognito intimate explorers everywhere, we've gathered this collection of sensational sex toys and accessories that look nothing like you (or anyone else) would expect them to.
Let's just say, if discretion is the better part of valour, then these sex toys are your erotic Knights of the Round Table.
Whether it’s your first-time toy or your fifteenth, sometimes the sheer world of choice out there can make picking the perfect sex toy a little intimidating. Regardless of gender, many people can be overwhelmed with the volume of choice out there, and knowing how to narrow your search down can be tricky.
However, before you slip your selection into your basket (as it were), there are a few things that you should consider so that you know you’re picking the perfect plaything.
If you thought your 10% off at Topshop was good, then you're in for a very exciting ride.
If you're a student and have a UNiDAYS account (they're free!), then you, my friend, can grab yourself a sensational 20% discount on all products on Lovehoney.co.uk.
Gone are the days of deciding between dildos and dinner - now you can have it all.
All you have to do is click here and log in to UNiDAYS, or sign up for a shiny new account, and enjoy orgasms for 20% less dollar than everyone else. We really are too good to you.
Scroll down to find out exactly what this saving means in real terms.
Firstly, let's get one thing out of the way: people who use lube have better sex. They just do.
It reduces uncomfortable friction for lads and ladies unlike, which leads to a smoother experience, which in turn makes it more enjoyable. Still not convinced? Well, we’ve got a little experiment for you to try.
Guys: Try rubbing one out. Easiest homework ever, right? But now (or as soon as you can), try introducing Mrs Palm and her five lovely daughters to a slathering of lube before you start.
You see what a difference it makes? No more uncomfortable chafing when you’re going for a long time, plus it feels considerably more like the real deal.
Girls, now it’s your turn. Playing using lube makes everything much smoother and more enjoyable, and over 70% of women have found sexual experiences more enjoyable when they’ve used lubrication.
So, which lube's best for which situation? Just keep reading to see our super 'handy' guide.
Whether it’s a night out on the lash drinking £1 pints, or pulling an all-nighter to finish that last minute essay, it's safe to say students know a thing or two about staying up all night.
But what about staying power in the bedroom? Have you got what it takes to be the last man standing, or are you flat out before the party’s even started?
Stop being a lightweight and give your manshaft an ego boost with one of the simplest, yet most effective sex toys on the market: The humble cock ring. Oh-so easy to use, cock rings are a fantastic way to boost what nature gave you, without taking herbal remedies or losing sensation with delay sprays.
A cock ring works by preventing blood from flowing away from your penis, allowing you to perform at your full potential.You’ll benefit from a bigger, stronger erection that’s more pronounced and vascular, as well as delayed ejaculation for longer-lasting bonking.
If you like it, find out exactly which ring you should put on it by reading on.
One of the joys of sharing a house is that you can almost guarantee that at some point, you’ll hear your housemates bumping uglies. It’s like a university rite of passage.
But what about when it comes to indulging in a spot of alone-time?
No one wants their new roomies to know that they’re doing the five-knuckle shuffle after a particularly steamy episode of Orange is the New Black, and worrying about overly-loud vibrations and moans can really ruin the mood.
So for those of you who are shy about playing with yourself whilst your friends play FIFA on the other side of the wall, we've rounded up a selection of the best quiet sex toys, as well as some tips from our experts on becoming a top undercover lover.
Pop quiz: For breakfast this morning, did you have a) cereal, b) toast, or c) pizza?
Is your favourite game a) football, b) chess, or c) fuzzy duck?
Is your most prized piece of artwork a) a sculpture, b) a painting, or c) a beer can tower?
If you answered mostly c, odds are you're a student, battling the 11am alarm each morning, donning fancy dress at every chance, and honing your hawk-eyed tenacity for spotting a bargain.
Twinning top-rated toys with wallet-friendly pricing, this compilation of vibrating sex toys for students should send your skinflinty spidey sense haywire. All available for under £20, they're ideal for budget-conscious academics looking to blow off some post-lecture steam.
Their thrifty pricing makes these toys a steal, and additionally the ensuing run of nights in you'll enjoy post-purchase will also help rack up the pennies, making these toys doubly good value.