• 3 Bangs For Your Butt Mega Dildo
    Oof! When a gerbil just won't cut it, there's nothing quite like the 3 Bangs for your Butt Mega Dildo for deeply satisfying rectal reaming. If you're a fan, pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself that no animals were harmed in the making of your orgasm. If you haven't dived in yet, this toy is not for beginners! And anyone who uses it should have a lot of lubricant handy, preferably within reach as with 3 Bangs in your butt you ain't goin' nowhere, as the following reviewer probably found...

    Poor old Peter Sullivan. As reported in the Metro on May 14 in an article entitled Rodeo Romeo fails to impress, this fitness trainer allegedly sent a prospective date an email link to his website, asking her what she thought of photos of him dressed up in cowboy outfits, kickboxing and doing the splits.

    'Girls just wanna have fun', as a garishly painted pop star of yesteryear once sang, and that's all as it should be. But what about boys? With all the fuss about rabbit vibrators in the shops and the media, it's easy for boys to feel left out. Girls had a Sex and the City episode famously featuring a rabbit - we want to see something like the Anal Sensations vibrator, an also-ran entry in our Design a Sex Toy competition, appearing in the middle of an episode of Top Gear for equivalent impact, gawking in astonishment as a presenter describes the exquisite double action of the perineum massager and the anal banger. Don't we? Boys?

    Cutie Rabbit Tickler Mini Massager review

    'Thank you Lovehoney' is something we never tire of hearing at LH HQ, and we still get a warm glow whenever we've succeeded in bringing a little more love into people's lives. We've always got some kind of promotion on to tempt you to buy more toys, and while at present we're offering the Mini Dolphin Vibrator free to anyone who spends more than £30 with us, we used to give away the Cutie Rabbit Tickler Mini Massager. And did they find a happy home? According to this Orgasm Army reviewer, she's never looked back...

    Doc Johnson John Holmes Realistic 12-inch Dildo Can you take the Doc Johnson John Holmes Realistic Dildo challenge? At Lovehoney we stock a variety of dildos that are perhaps best left for the brave and the bold - when we say large dildos we mean LARGE. But to some of you such a description is less a warning than a call to arms - why use the John Holmes Realistic 12-inch dildo? we might ask. Because it's there, you might answer. But pride comes before a fall, and sometimes it's easy to bite off a bit more than you can chew, as in the following review from Orgasm Army...

    Spanking Paddle - your fantasies start here If you think spanking is something they used to do to naughty children in Victorian times (and the 1970s), the idea of bringing it into the bedroom might seem a little odd. But many couple are now discovering the joys of bare-bottomed spanking, either with hands or paddles such as this spanking paddle which lives a rather smart (forgive the pun) SLUT imprint on the spankee's bare behind.

    On the Orgasm Army sex toys discussion forum, the Anyone For Spanking? thread, spanking devotees are discussing how to broach the issue with a new partner. And, to be perfectly frank, it sounds like a whole lot of fun...

    Says toolittlesleep: "We stumbled onto the spanking thing by accident. Ms TLS and I were renewing our acquaintence one day and, approaching the point of no return, I spanked her bum. It wasn't intentional (or even particularly conscious) but she loved it. So I did it again. And again. You get the picture. She tried it on me later on, and we discovered that I like it too. It's a whole new world out there..."

    Hide your sex toys in the Extra Large Adult Sex Toy Case Hiding your sex toys from prying eyes (whether they belong to your children, your flatmate or the home-help) is a priority for many people. On Orgasm Army, the Hiding them from the Kids thread has lots of handy hints for keeping your privates, er, private.

    It looks like the only way to be really sure is to keep your sex toys under lock and key in a dressing table or bedside cabinet. Or a safe. This Adult Sex Toy Case can help if you don't have suitably equipped bedroom furniture - it's supplied with a padlock and key.

    You have to feel for Orgasm Army member Pink Sock who went on holiday to find that her toy chest had been invaded...

    "I actually went overseas to live for a year and left my toys in a box that was taped up to the max. Unfortunately curiosity must have gotten the better of a family member, because when I returned the tape had been cut and taped over... I had to throw the toys out after someone suggested my mother had been using them..."

    Eek.

    Remote Control Snuggler Butterfly Vibrator Is Orgasm Army member KeithB the only perv in the village? Going by this delirious review it doesn't sound like it - the air in his secluded Welsh valley must be ringing with the sound of butterflies (yes, that kind) and sneakily inserted bullet vibrators. What we like most about this review is the cautionary tale at its heart - don't laugh at your friend's bullet-packed ass until you're sure you aren't packing one yourself! Sort of a modern version of 'People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones'. I did say sort of...

    Gwhizzer Sex Toy (small picture) Looks painful, doesn't it? All those hard plastic edges and that long spiny bit... but educational somehow, the kind of toy you could hand in as the practical part of a Design GCSE exam. If they have such things. And your teacher might well prefer a CyberSkin Cyber Suck (if he's a he) or a Vibrating Rock Chick (if she's a she). Still, at least this also-ran entry in our Design a Sex Toy competition isn't made out of Meccano - that would mean the contestant, who we suspect to be someone close to Lovehoney's heart, really did have a screw loose...

    Green Eyed Monster Vibrator Sex Toy (small picture) Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, eh? So where does that put the Green-eyed Monster Vibe? If you've ever had a pantie-dampening moment while watching Attack of the Saucermen or Mars Attacks, or if you've suffered the trauma of alien abduction and want to put the experience behind you (not that hole, Mr Grey!) with some ribtickling sex-toy play, this is the vibe for you. Unfortunately it's not actually going to be made - or not by us, at least - because it didn't win our Design a Sex Toy competition. Still, you have to love any entry that features the phrase 'the man puts the monster on his penis'. We've all been there, pal ...

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