When Mick Jagger sang '(I can't Get No) Satisfaction', he obviously hadn't tried a set of Ben Dover Bum Beads. As this Orgasm Army reviewer warns, you'll need to buy two sets to make sure neither you nor your partner feels left out. But be warned: starting to feel like your grandmother (see below) could seriously injure your sex life...
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Pussy in a can! With plenty of higher-end male masturbators on the market, you probably can't expect too much from something like the cyberskin pussy. Advantages: it's small, discreet, compact, tight and cheap, but for wank nirvana it may be worth shelling out a couple of quid more. And for all the enthusiasm of the Orgasm Army reviewer below - 'I looked forward to some serious wanking' - some of you (towards the bigger end, this chap's being disingenuous when he suggests 7.5 inches is 'modest') may find that it's just a little too tight...
If you want more suck for your buck without ending up in A & E, you can let all those vacuum cleaner dreams come true with the Vortex Vibrations Suction Vacuum Cleaner Vibrator, which we've been promoting with a short film. This Orgasm Army reviewer's quick to point out the shortcoming of our film, though, principally that a clitoris is not mounted on a table. We'll send the Professor back to the drawing board... and in the meantime, check out the review as the voice of experience talks of the highs and lows of vacuum-assisted orgasms.
There's no point in pussy-footing around when it comes to sex toys, and it's useless trying to be coy when you have a Tantus FeelDoe Vibrating Silicone Double Dildo in your hand - or indeed up your ass. The following review, from our intrepid team at Orgasm Army, fairly drips with enthusiasm - or is it lube? - as our man discovers the pleasures of what I'm reliably informed is known as 'pegging'.
Judging from the Orgasm Army review below, those of you who haven't been impressed by the Love Labs Stud Strap Delay Control for Men might not have been using it properly. A firm but gentle pull for 30 seconds, rather than a quick yank, and you might want to start sooner rather than later as the balls can rise a while before coming. Try it - you know it makes sense...
How's this for a hatchet job? "These taste vile, really not nice, make you feel sick and put you off doing anything again. It also sticks to you in places and is very hard to get off without scraping, which can be very painful for the guy."
Buy the Edible Undies at Lovehoney - if can stand the taste.
It's better to learn from another's mistakes than from one's own, as a sage once opined. To this end we share the following enthusiastic yet cautionary review of a Pink Lady Fleshlight from Orgasm Army - the reviews community that lets you know everything you always wanted to know about sex toys but were afraid to ask.
You can't be too careful these days. At Lovehoney we're big fans of safe sex, promoting the use of condoms and dental dams, but this entry in our Design a Sex Toy competition takes things one step further. Your skin is the biggest organ in your body, so why not protect it just as you do your more sensitive parts? Alternatively simply wash the come off when someone spurts in your face - or, if you're feeling kinky, try an easy-to-clean bondage hood...
Anal sex used to be one of the last taboos for couples, but it's an increasingly common pastime for liberated couples. Whether you're dabbling for the first time or are an experienced anal player, you need to load up on the lube to ensure everything's kept nice and moist. The anus does not make its own lubrication, so a lube like Supersex Anal Lubricant is just the job.
Orgasm Army reviewer Imeldaimelda says: "I got this lube as part of the Tracey Cox Anal Kit and I think it's a really good lube for anal play. It's specially designed so it's thicker than other lubes such as Liquid Silk which I normally use. Being water-based means it's suitable for just about anything toy-wise which is really handy that you don't need to worry about that.
See the full Tracey Cox Supersex Anal Lubricant 100ml review at Orgasm Army.
So many vibrators, it's tough to know where to start... Should I buy a G-spot vibrator, a finger vibe, a butterfly or a rabbit, we hear you cry. Smooth your furrowed brow and let our crack team of Orgasm Army reviewers get sticky under the sheets to make sure you make the right buy. As in the following review: