• In a lot of ways, I think costumes come across as even more "out-there" or kinky than types of play that are normally considered more 'technically' kinky. As I started planning this series on Costumes, I took to asking people about what they do with costumes and role play in their own lives. Nearly everyone giggled and said they weren't really 'into that sort of thing'. But these are the same people who ask where they can get their hands on a good flogger or how best to restrain someone.

    And yet, if you reword the question so that you're not asking about Costumes, but instead ask about "acting out fantasies" or "playing pretend", everyone perks right up and gets interested. I mean, who doesn't have at least one fantasy that they would like to play around with? And before you even put your hand up, you might want to think about the little thrill you get when you remember a certain teacher, or that quick thought you had when you pondered your chances of getting a flight attendant to join you in the bathroom, or the little fluttery feeling you get when you see a fireman throw a woman over his shoulder on tv. Just as fantasies are completely normal, so too is the desire to act them out.

    There are many types of costumes, but they can loosely be dropped into two broad categories: Full Costumes and Accessory Costumes.

    Ask Birdie...

    Oh, Sex Toys. So tempting, but how do you know what to buy? What works? What doesn't? What is even OUT THERE to try? You have questions, I have answers (most of the time...)

    Dear Birdie,

    My man and I have a great sex life thus far to the point where we are both very easily aroused by each other and the frequency is good too. But I know that if I branched out, even though it's good already, he would probably follow my lead. So for future reference (and you should know that I will probably never be able to afford anything too expensive) what is something I could use on HIM?

    I am WAY too sensitive myself to even think about using a vibrator for me but he is a fairly typical male in that he can be aroused by stimulation of the perineal area so I would like to be able to...um...surprise him there, maybe during oral sex, but don't know how as in what the heck to use. I don't want the man to end up clinging to the ceiling in fear or shock but neither do I want to be so subtle that he doesn't know I've done anything different.

    So do you have any ideas for anything I could use on him that will (excuse the bad pun) blow his mind?

    Thanks in advance, McB.

    Love ya,

    Needs "Sexy Surprises 101" Class

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    While I was working on the last series on introducing sex toys to your partner, costumes kept coming up into the discussion around these parts. The two are quite related, really - one may rely more on fantasy than on batteries, but both require an open mind, a sexy attitude, and an interest in pleasing your partner (and yourself, of course - we're none of us Mother Theresa here).

    So what do you know about costumes? Do you know the different kinds that are out there? How about how to use them without laughing out loud and spoiling all the fun? Can you imagine the right scenarios to go with the costumes?

    And from all of these questions come the next series. Over the next three Fridays (they'll be posted early in the morning, regardless of when you finally get to them, sleepy-head), I'll be talking about the various ins and outs (literally and figuratively, naturally) of costumes and how to best incorporate them into your bedroom (or out room) play. I'll try to touch on the major topics, but as always, if there is anything you are wondering that I don't bring up, do feel free to give a shout. We're all of us friendly here...

    Liberator Wedge

    The other day I got an email from Ruth, giving me a link to a little story about George Clooney being pictured carrying what appears to be a Liberator Wedge. Now Ruth is a dear lass, but bless her, clearly behind the times. I mean, who finds George Clooney attractive anymore? Surely his sexual escapades (or doctor-ordered therapy, I'm not here to speculate) are of no interest to the common woman? I laughingly showed this email to the girls in the office.

    Twenty minutes and half a pint of blood later, I found that I had, in fact, been mistaken about the attractiveness and viability of one Mr. George Clooney...

    Adam and Eve Cyber 5x Hot Handle

    So yesterday, while talking about men with high sex drives, I made an aside comment about not having a prostate. A nothing comment, really, because gosh darnit, women don't have prostates, case closed.

    Except it sort of sparked a memory of something I had read once. What can I say? I'm an internet bowerbird. I also hate making statements that I'm not completely sure are accurate, so I double-checked. And found that I was right about being wrong. According to this, what was once known as a woman's paraurethral or Skene's glands is now officially our prostate.

    In real terms, that doesn't mean much to your day to day life. Except that it helps to explain the phenomenon of female ejaculation. Apparently, that is just the same thing the boys have been doing for eons. Now scientists will speculate for ages on why only some women ejaculate and blah blah blah does this have to do with survival traits and yadda yadda yadda and all I hear is...

    Amazing Hot Heart Massage Kit

    A few weeks ago, I gave some tips for men who needed some help satisfying their more eager partners. Of course, it would have made sense for me to come the next week and address women who have the same "problem" of a highly charged partner, but to be honest, I got distracted. Give a couple of sales on Lovehoney, a couple of new toys coming out, and I completely forget that men need satisfaction too.

    Ladies, don't make the same mistake. If you are lucky enough to have a man who always has sex on the brain--and I know, you're told over and over how it is a burden, but come on...doesn't it make you feel like the world's sexiest woman how he can't keep his hands off you? Remember that feeling when you're reading this list--you may be looking for ways to keep him satisfied that don't involve you lying back and thinking of England. Because really, that's not fun for anyone.

    Take it Slow I've never been much of a dildo girl, really. I like a few bells and whistles (and by "bells and whistles", I think we all know I mean "that puppy better vibrate like his life is on the line"), but I can't ignore six seriously fantastic reviews over at the Orgasm Army. You get six individual people who love a toy so much they want to write about it AND that toy manages to average a full five stars? Well, that gets my attention.

    Buy a sex toy, help Richard win a dinner HELP ME! I've bet my girlfriend Joy that we'll sell a dozen of these Chix Stix mini vibrators by the end of October. If I lose, I have to cook her a slap-up veggie roast dinner. Ewww. If I win, she has to cook me a full-on roast with a meat of my choosing. Help me and bring on the giblets!

    Take it Slow

    As I mentioned last Friday, I'm going to spend a couple of Fridays talking about how to introduce sex toys into your sex life with your partner.

    Sex toys have a bit of a reputation as being solo-only gadgets. Things that people use when they need to masturbate - often they are thought of as being what you use when you don't have anything better to hand... be that because you're alone or because your partner isn't pushing your buttons. There is some truth to that, of course. Heaven knows my toys get put through their paces when I'm on my own. But it also does you and your toys a disservice - toys can be used to bring greater satisfaction to partners, as well.

    So you've been thinking about it... what's the first thing to keep in mind when pondering how to bring up toys with your partner for the first time?

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