• Ask Birdie...

    Oh, Sex Toys. So tempting, but how do you know what to buy? What works? What doesn't? What is even OUT THERE to try? You have questions, I have answers (most of the time...)

    Dear McBirdie,

    I've recently separated from my girlfriend of many years, and find myself single for the first time in a very long time. I have no wish to find myself in another relationship soon, but would like to use this time to find out more about how I can enjoy sex. Can you recommend any sex toys for men to use alone? For the right product, money is no object!

    Yours,

    Alone But Excited

    The Screaming O OHoney Vibrating Clitoral Sex Enhancer

    A couple of weeks ago, I first saw the Screaming O OHoney Vibrating Clitoral Sex Enhancer, and I was aflutter with pondering what it was all about. I had so many questions - was it rigid? Did it really lock into place? Would it become THE new couple's toy of choice?

    Well, anyone who knows me could have told you that there was about zero chance that I would just patiently sit around and wait for someone else to get one and review it. I had to have one. I think the fact that I waited nearly two weeks is pretty impressive, all things considered.

    Aneros Marksman Lubricant 6 Pack

    The other day I was all giddy to find that Elbow Grease Cream was in stock so I gleefully blogged about it so that the world could experience my absolute favourite anal lube - so creamy! So thick! So oddly sweet tasting!

    Unfortunately, my glee was premature. Lovehoney isn't really restocking the line - so if you want to experience my favourite anal cream, you're going to have to move fast and grab while the grabbing is good. This is the last available in the line, so order yours before I buy up the last of the lot.

    Tracey Cox Mint Tingle Lube

    Last week, I mentioned that the Durex Tingle Lube had some problems with some people thinking it was water-based and some thinking silicone-based--we finally clarified that it was a light silicone-based lube that should be safe with most silicone toys (always spot-test to be sure--when we're talking about sex toys, you know you want to err on the side of caution. It is too sad to think about losing one of your little friends to a melty death).

    But just as we all breathed a sigh of relief, we realized that there was a problem with the labelling of the Tracey Cox Mint Tingle Lube. Is it something in the air with the minty tingly lubes? Who knows. All I know is that there are bottles floating around out there that have this lube down as a water-based lube when it is, in fact, silicone based.

    Elbow Grease Hot Cream Anal Lubricant

    Way back in the good old days (well...June, anyway), I wrote a review for Elbow Grease Hot Cream Anal Lubricant. I was terribly excited about this product and gave it a glowing five stars because I thought it was just about the greatest anal lube to ever hit the market. It was creamy, it lasted for ages, it was fun to use...it even had a pleasant taste! I couldn't wait to tell the world about this fabulous product.

    And then Lovehoney stopped selling it.

    Listen, I'm not saying they got it wrong. I'm sure there are all sorts of factors that go into determining what products they stock and sell and which ones they have to discontinue and DENY THE PUBLIC OF THE FINEST ANAL LUBRICATION PRODUCT SINCE THE DAWN OF TIM---

    Ask Birdie...

    Oh, Sex Toys. So tempting, but how do you know what to buy? What works? What doesn't? What is even OUT THERE to try? You have questions, I have answers (most of the time...)

    Ms. McBirdie,

    There is a little lady that I am interested in getting to know a little better. She has a b-day coming up and I am at a loss on what I should get her. Well, that is not true.

    She and I have had several conversations about the lack of affection she is receiving from her current and how she does not take the time for personal reflection. These conversations have lead me to think about getting her a massager.

    Would this be appropriate? And if so, which product would would you recommend?

    Thank you,

    Loving Touch

    Icicles Textured Teaser Glass Dildo

    In last week's "Ask Birdie..." column, the woman who wrote in mentioned that she would never use a vibrator herself because she is too sensitive. Now, I might normally be inclined to argue that if you think that than you just haven't found the right style of vibrator yet, but I think it is also kind of fun to point out all the toys you can try that don't involve batteries. Maybe at some point in the future I'll direct your attention to more unusual vibrators...

    But, until then, I present to you - 5 Toys For Women Who Hate Buying Batteries

    Screaming O OHoney Vibrating Clitoral Sex Enhancer

    This new toy has made me do something I've never had to do before. I had to write in to Lovehoney and request a Sex Toy TV video to be made--because I'll be darned if I can figure this toy out. Is it rigid? How exactly does it "anchor to the labia"? All I know from looking at this toy is two things:

    1. I have only the vaguest idea of how it works. I think it must work rather like a vibrating cock ring without the cock directly being involved.

    2. I have to have one.

    People, please. Go and buy one of these. Write a review. Explain to us how it works and why. In fact, forget about the rest of the world. Buy one, try it, and then write to ME, so I know how the thing works. Because I'll be darned if this isn't tickling my "this is an innovative new toy" sensors. And if there is one thing I love, it's an innovative new toy. Especially if that is an innovative new couple's toy.

    I would just get myself one RIGHT. THIS. VERY. MINUTE. but I just got in a big shipment from Lovehoney - please don't make me get in another order in the same week. My postman is starting to look at me funny.

    In a lot of ways, I think costumes come across as even more "out-there" or kinky than types of play that are normally considered more 'technically' kinky. As I started planning this series on Costumes, I took to asking people about what they do with costumes and role play in their own lives. Nearly everyone giggled and said they weren't really 'into that sort of thing'. But these are the same people who ask where they can get their hands on a good flogger or how best to restrain someone.

    And yet, if you reword the question so that you're not asking about Costumes, but instead ask about "acting out fantasies" or "playing pretend", everyone perks right up and gets interested. I mean, who doesn't have at least one fantasy that they would like to play around with? And before you even put your hand up, you might want to think about the little thrill you get when you remember a certain teacher, or that quick thought you had when you pondered your chances of getting a flight attendant to join you in the bathroom, or the little fluttery feeling you get when you see a fireman throw a woman over his shoulder on tv. Just as fantasies are completely normal, so too is the desire to act them out.

    There are many types of costumes, but they can loosely be dropped into two broad categories: Full Costumes and Accessory Costumes.

    Ask Birdie...

    Oh, Sex Toys. So tempting, but how do you know what to buy? What works? What doesn't? What is even OUT THERE to try? You have questions, I have answers (most of the time...)

    Dear Birdie,

    My man and I have a great sex life thus far to the point where we are both very easily aroused by each other and the frequency is good too. But I know that if I branched out, even though it's good already, he would probably follow my lead. So for future reference (and you should know that I will probably never be able to afford anything too expensive) what is something I could use on HIM?

    I am WAY too sensitive myself to even think about using a vibrator for me but he is a fairly typical male in that he can be aroused by stimulation of the perineal area so I would like to be able to...um...surprise him there, maybe during oral sex, but don't know how as in what the heck to use. I don't want the man to end up clinging to the ceiling in fear or shock but neither do I want to be so subtle that he doesn't know I've done anything different.

    So do you have any ideas for anything I could use on him that will (excuse the bad pun) blow his mind?

    Thanks in advance, McB.

    Love ya,

    Needs "Sexy Surprises 101" Class

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