1. Rushing into it.

A few pathetic fumbles to check if she’s wet does not make her ready for you to plunge on in. Unless you’re both fired up for a quickie, keep that penis away until you’ve paid some lip service and at least inserted some fingers to check she’s lubricated and ready for you.

Happy National Flirt Day! It's the day that thoughts turn to Valentine's Day - and snaring that perfect hot date.

So what's the best way to impress a date? Tracey Cox, author of Pocket Superflirt (£5.99), says there is no such thing as a failproof chat up line.

"There is no chat up line that's going to work in every situation! Just start a conversation with something that's appropriate to the situation you're in. And if you do have something extraordinary to say, save it for about five minutes in. We're too busy looking, not listening in those first 60 seconds. Deciding if we fancy someone and getting clues about them from their posture, clothes and body language..."

"You're better off worrying about your body language and whether you're standing nice and tall, smiling and making eye contact than you are what's coming out of your mouth."

Check out the brand new Tracey Cox Official Facebook Page for more of Tracey's insights into relationships, and her best hints and tips.

I’ve had several questions recently about the use of Viagra. One was from a lady in her mid-60s, with her husband in his early 70s. They still enjoy a fulfilling sex life, but he now needs a little help – but she feared their doctor would say they’re too old for Viagra.

Dare to do the clichés: Like chocolate body paint poured on and licked off. The reason why they’re clichés is because they’re often what people want to do, but are too scared to.

Start a ‘sex jar’: Each write down 10 things you’d like to try. Rip into separate points, fold and put all of them into a jar. Pick out one a week to try. (Insist on pre-approval if you think ‘lure the hot 18-year-old next door in for a threesome’ will simply be repeated by your partner.)

Send sexts: “I’ve been thinking about you inside me all day”; ‘If you want it right now, I’m in the upstairs bedroom’; ‘Remember when we did it on the beach? The kids are asleep….’ Or, when you’re feeling particularly horny (and they seem like they’d be receptive), ‘I want you to fuck me. Hard’.

Shave each other’s bits: It’s a laugh….and sexier than you think!

Have phone sex... from the other room. Call and tell them they have to do exactly what you say. Get them to go to the bedroom, take off their clothes, fondle themselves, lie down on the bed and start masturbating. Then walk in to finish the job for them.

Deep throating refers to taking the entire erect penis into the mouth and entrance of the throat. You don't need to be a porn star to do it, but be warned - it is a skill and it does take some practice. And make sure you deep throat a partner you’re really comfortable with - someone you trust, who is also patient, as it’s you, the giver, who sets the pace, not him...

1. You need access to his testicles, anus and perineum as well as to be able to grasp the base of the penis and slide the other hand up and over. In other words, you need room. Also make sure you’re not at an angle where your hand’s going to end up in a weird position and get twisted or cramped.

There’s something wild and wonderful about tearing each other’s clothes off - and I’m talking literally. I once had a memorably lustful exchange with a boyfriend who burst in on me in a theatre dressing room, and ripped open the tight Victorian bodice that was part of my costume. As the twenty-odd tiny fastenings pinged across the room, I did for a nano-second think what a pain in the arse it was going to be sewing them all back on, but this was soon eclipsed by the heady euphoria induced by his wanton, button-popping desire.

That was an unexpected and spontaneous moment, but there’s no reason why with some sexy lingerie you can’t plan a bodice-ripping scenario of your own...

1. Use the flat of your tongue, not the tip of it when you go down on her. Use the tip and your tongue will be knackered out in about five minutes. It feels too hard on her end (especially at the start) and if you flatten out your tongue as much as possible, it covers a bigger area and feels deliciously soft and squishy.

The real issue, I suspect, lies with your partner. I’m guessing she grew up in an environment where sex was seen as ‘dirty’ or shameful.

Give yourself permission to experiment now, and take time to discover your sensuality. Light some candles, have a long soak in a bath with fragrant oils, (and a large glass of wine if that helps you to relax) and explore a little solo stimulation, to become familiar with your body and its needs.