Yeehaw – howdy Pardners! Lovehoney is holding the Stroke 29 Shoot Out Survey to compile a study of current trends in one-handed hoedowns across the UK, whilst attempting to compile the first ever Average Strokes To Cum (ASTC) Index. And the survey needs YOUR help...
Participants are promised a great hand-job and free lube for their efforts, whilst contributing to a vital sex study, simply by liquidising their assets via a five knuckle shuffle. Use the online form to register and get your free sample of Stroke 29 cream. Once you receive the sachet, you can then carry out the important anonymous research for this prestigious study. So what are you waiting for? May the Stroke be with you...
Go to www.Lovehoney.co.uk/shootout/ - please spread the word - we need you for this vital research...
Post Chronicle: "Britney Spears, according to Asian News International, has reportedly mastered the art of giving oral sex, thanks to a little help from Sex And The City star Kim Cattrall.
Britney, eight months pregnant, reportedly learned the art of fellatio after reading sex manual Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm, written by Cattrall.
The Actress' book contains what has been described as numerous graphic diagrams complete with instructions on how to perform a variety of sex acts and different positions for intercourse."
Don't let Britney get ahead of you (ah ha ha!) - get hold of Kim Cattrall's book for yourself from the Erotic Book Shop.
Straight from the drawer marked "You couldn't make it up" comes news that the Governor of Colorado has objected after a Denver artists was given a $5,000 grant - to make art out of sex toys.
The piece, originally called Twelve Didlos on a Hook, has been renamed "Large Implements on Hooks" to make it more palatable to the gallery-going cognoscenti of Colorado.
"Obviously, this is offensive and in extremely poor taste," said Gov Bill Owens, who hadn't actually seen the artwork himself but had had it described to him by staffers.
"They're meant to be sex toys, but sex toys that are talking about a lot of issues," says artist Tsehai Johnson in defence of the work.
Well, we are well aware of the popularity of sex toys spreading far and wide in the last decade or so, but it looks like our business has some serious heritage...
Researchers have discovered an ancient stone phallus in a cave in Germany, and have dated it to be around 28,000 years old. At 20cm long and 3cm wide, it's giving the Future Tech Ultra 7 Jessica Rabbit vibe a run for its money, although we wouldn't be able to recommend a sex toy cleaner for this prehistoric 'tool'...
Found in the Hohle Fels Cave near Ulm in the Swabian Jura, the precise use of the object has been pinpointed by Professor Nicholas Conard, from the department of Early Prehistory and Quaternary Ecology, at Tübingen University.
"It's highly polished; it's clearly recognisable," said Professor Conard. "In addition to being a symbolic representation of male genitalia, it was also at times used for knapping flints." Whilst we don't sell any vibrators that double up as lighters, if there is a market out there do email us and we will endeavour to find a solution for you.
Extend your overdraft and get a little sextra from the bank of lurve! Four cheque books from the Bonk of Eros (groan) are available, each promising titillating treats for lovers. An interview with your bonk manager will never be the same again. (Now sing the heading to the tune of 'Sex Bomb'.)
Click here: Sex Cheques
Girls! Put an end to visible panty line misery! Banish hungry-bum syndrome! Introducing the incredible Backless Thong! We couldn't quite believe our eyes either, but it works! The Backless Thong is possibly the most important contribution to the sum total of human happiness since the invention of laughter. We'd stake our G-strings on it!
Click here: Backless Thong
Forget the Golden Gate Bridge, the best thing about San Francisco is the super-ace Good Vibrations sex store. We've teamed up with or transatlantic cousins to bring you the best Good Vibrations products, including Slip Inside Lubes and Gels and the rather perty Golden Boy prostate massager. We'll be selling boat trips to Alcatraz next! (Not really.)
Click here: Good Vibrations toys and lubes
STOP EVERYTHING! The sun's gone to our heads and we've slashed the price of the Top Cat Waterproof Jelly Vibe with Clit Stim to a measly weasly £4.99. It's a long, multi-speed vibrator with powerful clitoral stimulator shaped like a hare's out-stretched legs to race you to orgasm. BUT BUT BUT! The price will be back up to £15.99 at 4pm Friday 22 July. So order now while you get change from a fiver!
Click here: £4.99 Waterproof Jelly Vibe
We've heard of stealing knickers from a clothes line, but this is ridiculous!
A builder on the Scilly Isles has been found guilty of stealing sex toys and women's underwear from islanders.
As if that wasn't mortifying enough for the victims, 11 woman were even dragged into court to identify their underwear and sex toys... Wonder if any of them 'fessed up to owning a
3 Bangs Mega Dildo!