A customer (from Spain) writes to thank us for solving a delivery problem, which is good, and adds as an afterthought:
"But.... please stop using Imperial and go Metric asap. From 2009 onwards, using Imperial will be forbidden anyway."
First off, yes, a good idea. We shall provide both Metric and Imperial measurements for dildos and vibrators on Lovehoney, not just because we want to be good Europeans (don't we all? ;-) ), but because even some of our UK customers might be more familiar with centimetres than inches.
And we don't want to be accused by the Metric Association of confusing our customers with all this talk of inches.
Having said that, you know where you stand (or sit) with a 6-incher or an 8-incher - or even a foot-long dong. "Is that a 20.32 centimetre-er in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?" doesn't have quite the same ring to it...
But anyway, back to our Spanish friend and his Brussel-ocratic decree that "from 2009 on using Imperial will be forbidden."
He is, of course, mistaken. As the Metric Martyrs know to their cost, it is only when products are sold by weight or measure that it is compulsory to sell in metric units.
2009 just sees a tightening up of exceptions, though we will still be able to drink in pints and halves in our great nation's boozers. Thank the Lord.
Lovehoney doesn't (currently) charge for cock by the inch (though that would be amusing at the cut-me-a-length counter in Homebase), so we're quite correct and perfectly allowed to give dildo and vibrator measurements in inches. Or feet and inches for some of our larger specimens.
If I'm wrong (and part of me dearly hopes I am), I look forward to the day in late 2009 when I appear in one of Her Majesty's Courts and have to defend myself and Lovehoney on a count of selling cock by the inch. Needless to say, we will ask for several thousand other offences to be taken into account.
So, the message to Brussels is clear - hands off our cocking inches.
All of which prompts me to find out exactly how many miles of dildos Lovehoney has ever sold. Pass me the cockulator...
Every wondered exactly how a pussy pump works and what it can do for you? You're about to find out...
"As soon as I saw this little beauty, I knew I needed to try it for myself. The day it arrived, I cleared my schedule, got comfy on the couch with my new toy, and got to pumpin’ and playin’.
My "Pucker Up Vibe" pump is purple (unlike the photo) and comes with a bulb that you pump by hand to create suction inside the cup. It also has a safety release valve (which is very handy and located near the cup) and an enclosed vibrating bullet, activated using a wired, multi speed remote – giving you something to do with your freshly sensitized vagina..."
See the full Doc Johnson Pucker Up Vibrating Clitoral Pump review at Orgasm Army.
Buy the Doc Johnson Pucker Up Vibrating Clitoral Pump at Lovehoney.
Sex toys in a supermarket - whatever will they think of next?
"We bought this months ago in the supermarket for a giggle, and opened it up 30 mns ago. Is it enough to say that I'm now online to recommend it?
OMG. We took it out of the packet, figured out how to turn it on and off (slightly difficult turning it on the first time- persevere). We had foreplay, whispering about it, then he put it on... went "ooooh", and slid up me..."
See the full Durex Play Vibrations Love Ring review at Orgasm Army.
Buy the Durex Play Vibrations Love Ring at Lovehoney.
The Lovehoney blog is dead, long live the Lovehoney Blog. Or at least my reincarnation of the Lovehoney Blog.
The new Lovehoney Blog will keep you informed of the latest special offers on sex toys and lingerie at Lovehoney, and of reviews of products from the Orgasm Army Web site, and of random sex news and happenings culled from across the Web.
This Lovehoney Blog is now mine. Me? Richard Longhurst, one of the founders of Lovehoney, former editor of .net magazine (but don't hold that against me), father (of 2), divorcee, golfer and Morrissey lookalike (if I wasn't quite so tubby).
And what am I going to do with this blog? I'm going to talk about sex toys, Lovehoney, e-commerce (or 'online shopping' to give it its proper name), the adult industry in the UK (how we'll laugh!), customer service (Ikea - comin' atya!) and anything else that tickles (or, heinously, fails to tickle) my fancy.
And, of course, I'll talk about anything you want to, too.
My first problem: how to get this damn blog to update properly. Back soon.
Everyone looks forward to a bit of holiday romance when they go away - but the new trend is to be sure you're actually going to get some when you go away.
"An increasing number of people -- singles and couples of all ages -- are looking for much, much more from their precious respite.
And what they want is more fun, more excitement. In particular what they want more of is sex.
Could be sex with each other -- in public, maybe with someone else (of either gender), with a threesome of any combination, another couple, joining in a fetish group, or just being in an atmosphere where they can be sexually open and relaxed.
The trend has created a whole new category of vacations -- erotic travel -- and it's aimed at often stressed-out professional people who want an upscale vacation experience or a wild weekend, but with sexual overtones.
"Not everyone is looking for sexual interaction, though," says Brian Martin, head of sales and marketing for Hot Escapes (hotescapes.net), a Toronto company specializing in erotic travel all over the globe.
"Many clients just want a very erotic atmosphere where there are people of like mind. Some want to explore sexuality and 20% will be swingers (or lifestylers, as they're known now).
A large proportion of Hot Escapes clientele travels to the Caribbean to all-inclusive resorts such as the SuperClubs' Jamaican Hedonism resorts I (Negril), II and III (Runaway Bay). Equally hot is the relatively new and luxurious Desire resort, for couples only, in Cancun, Mexico (cost about $4,500 a couple for a week). Desire has been so successful with the open sexuality concept, they're opening a new resort in Los Cabos in the fall." [read more at the Canoe Network]
If you can't afford the luxury of erotic travel, never fear - we have plenty of sex toys for travelling which are guaranteed to ensure you have a good time whoever you meet! Make sure you have a handy supply of condoms too, just in case.
Quite simply, this is one of the most-detailed reviews ever to appear on Orgasm Army. Even if you're not in the market for a cock ring, it's a damned-fine read:
"I thought I’d earn 'Coolest Roommate of the Century' for not only restoring my roommate’s sexual prowess but supplying him with the very tool required. I hopped online and began browsing my favorite online adult shops. I recognized the winner as soon as it appeared on screen in all of its red-hot glory: the Hustler Hot Sex Wireless Vibrating Jel-Lee Cock Ring. It was clear from the image alone that this thing is a lean, mean, cock-hugging, clit-licking, vibrating machine..."
See the full Hustler Hot Sex Cock Ring review at Orgasm Army.
Buy the Hustler Hot Sex Cock Ring at Lovehoney.
Bored of the five-finger shuffle? This bishop-basher can add a little excitement to your onanistic activities...
"The Monkey Spanker is a sleek little vibrating wank toy.
It works by stretching around your cock and a vibrator in the handle makes the whole thing vibrate.
You then glide the stretchy latex tube along your cock best to vary the strokes and use plenty of lube the pleaser then builds up and you get quite a present orgasm..."
See the full Monkey Spanker Male Masturbator review at Orgasm Army.
Buy the Monkey Spanker Male Masturbator at Lovehoney.
Our vote for the most neglected part of the body goes to the bit between your big toe and your second toe. Closely followed by nipples. But not for much longer!
"The man likes to put these on me when I'm firmly trussed up and can't do anything to stop him.
The tips are well coated so aren't too painful, unlike some of the metal creations that are available. The pain (and pleasure) comes when you slide the little ring up the shafts of the tweezers..."
See the full Thin Nipple Tweezers review at Orgasm Army.
Buy the Thin Nipple Tweezers at Lovehoney.
This is ace - "In an effort to de-stigmatize condoms, one advocacy group is encouraging people to make their own art pins using the contraceptive.
Executive director of The Condom Project, Franck DeRose, says his group started a program that aims to get people more comfortable with condoms, particularly those who live in countries where the items are taboo.
He tells Reuters, "There's a great need to de-stigmatize condoms around the world, especially in Africa."
To achieve that goal, the project has set up a craft table at the International AIDS Conference in Toronto with packaged condoms, colored paper, candy and tape.
The art pins have turned up on African grandmothers, conservative-looking men and shy teens." Read full report at All Headline News]
Lovehoney has hordes of condoms for you to make your art with - check out our condom collection.